Things you want to say (but shouldn't) outloud at work

[Cen1aur 1963]

I just started my job not too long ago, so I don't have much to say as of yet, but I'm sure that will change soon.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

^^I'm hoping this is a delayed reaction to yesterday's events. I can't imagine eating tuna salad at 9:35am!

Unfortunately, she was apparently eating brunch

[ElieM]

I'm so glad I'm pregnant so that I get 18 weeks of paid leave, and a year off from this stupid job

[pshsx1]

You working that hard is going to get every last one of us fired. You work in Career Services, not an auto assembly plant. Just breathe!

[amanda6035]

If your bill says DUE UPON RECEIPT, it means DUE UPON RECEIPT, dumb dumb. Don't call and ask for an exact date, and when I give you a date range, get snippy and say "Well, is it due or not?" Yeah, we just sent you a bill for services for the hell of it, but it's not due.

[ASUADPi]

To my annoying parents who are driving me bat-shit crazy,
I won't tell you how to raise your kids so don't tell me how to do my job!?!
Sincerely,
Your child's EDUCATED first grade teacher!

[ThetaPrincess24]

Wear a friggin belt!!! Your butt cheeks pop out every time you bend over. You teach chapel to preschoolers and your husband is over the children's ministry at church. Low rise pants arent for you!!

[BAckbOwlsgIrl]

Listen broomstick bitch, I swear you look like Cruella Deville in Bre Van De Kamp's (Desperate Housewifes) clothing.
Getting laid might help you not being such a bitch.

[AlwaysSAI]

You do not know near what you think you know. Will you please stop telling me how to manage my caseload and complete my paperwork? I don't know how much longer I can hold my tongue.

[KSUViolet06]

Dear parent,

You can't FAIL at parenting and helping your child at home, then expect me (and your kid's actual teacher) to work miracles.

Sincerely,
Tutor.

[nikki1920]

Dear former cool coworker: I understand you were stressed beyond stressed, but the way you left us hanging was very unprofessional.

Dear management: meetings about the meeting about next week's meeting really don't solve the problem. Someone DO something, write a procedure, and have people actually follow up THEN HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE!!

[AlwaysSAI]

You missed work again today. And, surprise! You didn't call in. So, all of the EC kids in those classes you serve didn't get any services today. I wish I could invite you to the IEP meeting for every single one of those kids so you could explain to their momma why you're never there.

I wonder if you'll come to work tomorrow. I mean, it's not like you to come to work more than 3 days a week. I wouldn't want you to get too worn out.

I kind of hope something is done about your attendance when our new administration starts in July.

And, sometimes I wonder if you're "sick" that much in the summer. I also wonder how you pay your bills. I know you have no sick days left. $50 a day for every day you're out. I wouldn't be able to pay my rent with what's left after that.

And yet, you make more than 2 times my salary. And, you have tenure.

[amIblue?]

Are you the only person you know who has a job? You are on the phone at least 75% of the day gossiping and out of your seat the remaining 25%.

Shut the hell up and work.

[AXEling]

There are barriers and a few strips of caution tape blocking off the construction zone. You should not be walking through there.

There's caution tape visible on and through the glass door. Said door is also locked from the outside.

There's a non-construction zone door about 25 feet away. I am not going to let you in.

[nikki1920]

Dear nurse: every minor complaint does not warrant a trip to the emergency room. An HIV+ patient who gets a cold does not automatically develop AIDS . And telling a woman who has found lumps in her breast does not mean that she has cancer and that it has metasticized throughout her body. Where did you get your training? *sigh*