Question on Rushing in my 30s (Fraternity)

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by nate2512

Ok, you found one, not at the university he was referring, and more fraternities than not, have houses, and more GLO clubs than not, don't. So it is very safe to say that he was talking about joining a social organization, and thats what everything said in thread was pointing to, until some jackass had to plug in for a service, professional, whatever the hell bullshit that was, that will clearly never be able to offer the same opportunities and atmosphere, as true fraternities.

Yeah, I think it's clear that the OP wants a social fraternity experience if it's available, but he also got some tips about additional options if it's not.

I'm not sure why you guys are riding the social fraternity horse so hard.

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

Yeah, I think it's clear that the OP wants a social fraternity experience if it's available, but he also got some tips about additional options if it's not.

I'm not sure why you guys are riding the social fraternity horse so hard.

I don't have a problem with it. But its the way he went about it. He made the situation sound like him being 30 and joining a service organization, was one in same as joining a social fraternity. Maybe it was bad wording, maybe I read it wrong. But I don't think its fair to say that a service organization is comparable to a social fraternity.

[CrackerBarrel]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

Yeah, I think it's clear that the OP wants a social fraternity experience if it's available, but he also got some tips about additional options if it's not.

I'm not sure why you guys are riding the social fraternity horse so hard.

At least in my experience I don't think I would be remotely happy with being in a service fraternity instead of a social fraternity, and I would imagine that the flipside would be true as well.

What they offer is completely different and the people they draw will generally not be interchangable with each other. In my view to suggest that they are, would be comparable (on a much lower level obviously) to someone saying "I'd like to one day work for the NAACP" and getting the response of "Well if that doesn't work out for you, you should consider getting involved with the Klan."

Yeah the two groups are comparable, but only in as much as they're both clubs and they both have a purpose that they're united around.

(And the NAACP/Klan thing is purposely exaggerated for the point of being funny while still kind of sort of making a point, thought I should clarify that since the sense of humor in here is kind of lacking).

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by nate2512

How many business fraternities have houses?

Here is where we draw the line between Greek Lettered Organizations and Fraternities. Any CLUB can slap Greek letters on their name and POSE. Fraternities, which when someone expresses interest in joining Greek and mentions a house, as the OP did, you assume hes talking about FRATERNITIES. FRATERNITIES aren't clubs, they're brotherhoods, they're much more, so we gentleman in fraternities shouldn't be short sold, by a bunch wannabes. If you would like to offer the situation to the OP, phrase it better:

Dear OP,

Perhaps you should consider a service organization club. I joined (not pledged) one, and I was of a similar age, and found it to be a great fit.

And stop making up words. Smartassity?

Smartassity used to be in someone's signature here and I loved it. I wish I could take credit for making it up but I can't.

Actually, at UGA one of the business fraternities has a pretty nice house, but I'm not sure who, if anyone, lives in.

http://www.terry.uga.edu/akpsi/


It doesn't hurt to give a guy who may not find a place in the typical brotherhood some options to enrich his college experience. I don't think anyone posting thinks they are equal substitutes for someone looking for a social fraternity brotherhood exclusively, nor were they presented as such.

[emb021]

Originally Posted by nate2512

How many business fraternities have houses?

Here is where we draw the line between Greek Lettered Organizations and Fraternities. Any CLUB can slap Greek letters on their name and POSE. Fraternities, which when someone expresses interest in joining Greek and mentions a house, as the OP did, you assume hes talking about FRATERNITIES. FRATERNITIES aren't clubs, they're brotherhoods, they're much more, so we gentleman in fraternities shouldn't be short sold, by a bunch wannabes. If you would like to offer the situation to the OP, phrase it better:

Dear OP,

Perhaps you should consider a service organization club. I joined (not pledged) one, and I was of a similar age, and found it to be a great fit.

And stop making up words. Smartassity?

Sorry, but I joined a service fraternity, not a club.

Having a house is not a criteria for being a fraternity. At many colleges and universities, many if not all social fraternities/sororities don't have houses. Does this suddenly make them clubs and not fraternities/sororities?

The only accurate thing you said is that Fraternities aren't clubs, they're Brotherhoods. Totally agree. But owning a house is not a requirement for that.

I can't speak about professional or honorary GLOs being fraternities, never having joined any.

But I can say that the service GLOs that I am aware of (APO, GSS, OPA) are most certainly not 'posers'. You're not just being 'smartassity', you're being stupid and insulting.

[CrackerBarrel]

Does your service fraternity have a very elaborate ritual which is conducted once a week, a 150 year history, a rigorous 10+ week pledging process, a situation where almost everything about your college experience involves your fellow members, you live with all your closest friends, and you know they will be some of your best friends for the rest of your life? Because that's what makes my fraternity a "brotherhood", not just the fact that we choose to describe it as one.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by CrackerBarrel

Does your service fraternity have a very elaborate ritual which is conducted once a week, a 150 year history, a rigorous 10+ week pledging process, a situation where almost everything about your college experience involves your fellow members, you live with all your closest friends, and you know they will be some of your best friends for the rest of your life? Because that's what makes my fraternity a "brotherhood", not just the fact that we choose to describe it as one.

You are really over-selling it. There's no reason why this thread should be making you feel like you need to defend and justify your social fraternity.

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

You are really over-selling it.

I'm sorry he takes pride in his organization, and wants to distinguish himself from someone who merely puts on greek letters but has no real concept of what they mean to him.

[CrackerBarrel]

I honestly take offense to the idea that a service or professional or whatever fraternity is on anything resembling the same plane as social fraternities.

I'll tone it down, but just take from my post that I think calling a service/professional group a fraternity is laughable. I have friends who have joined both service/professional groups and social fraternities that would agree whole heartedly as well.

[CrackerBarrel]

Except I don't see what the shared thing here is other than the word fraternity.

I really like living with 50 of my closest friends, parties and girls.

And then someone else saying I'm not quite cool enough to party and hang around girls, but I can help give people in college directions to class because they spent their orientation partying and hanging out with girls and lost their campus map?

(again, a joke, but also a serious question. what does a service fraternity have in common with my house, because I'm not coming up with a lot?)

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by CrackerBarrel

Except I don't see what the shared thing here is other than the word fraternity.

I really like living with 50 of my closest friends, parties and girls.

And then someone else saying I'm not quite cool enough to party and hang around girls, but I can help give people in college directions to class because they spent their orientation partying and hanging out with girls and lost their campus map?

(again, a joke, but also a serious question. what does a service fraternity have in common with my house, because I'm not coming up with a lot?)

Well, theoretically, they both offer a sense of belonging and teamwork as well as an opportunity to develop leadership and do good for the community.

But in actuality, depending on the particular group, a social fraternity may just be a somewhat elitist club that exists for the purpose of providing a place to drink and pick up girls while you form connections that you hope will carry through the rest of your personal and professional life.

And service and professional organization have service and profession goals.

Here's the thing, you'd really have to go back to your founding at often single-sex institutions to figure out what your group is supposed to be about and then you'd have to contrast that with what your chapter actually does AND THEN, you'd have to figure out what the social and profession organizations at your campus actually do to have your answer.

It seems like a lot of unnecessary effort. Instead just ask yourself what Wooderson would do.

[DSTRen13]

Wow ... how on earth did this innocent thread turn into this mess?? (And haven't we had this mess on here before --- many, many times???)

The culture of service, business, band, etc. fraternity and sororities is different on every campus, just like with other groups. How you may perceive these groups to be because of your college experience may not be true nationally. It may not even be true on your campus. NO ONE has any right to judge any other organization (whether NPHC, NPC, IFC, or otherwise) on their pledging process, their ritual, etc., because the fact is, YOU DON'T KNOW. You don't know, and you are never going to know, so you need to stay out of it and stop making claims that are none of your dang business.

Seriously.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

Wow ... how on earth did this innocent thread turn into this mess?? (And haven't we had this mess on here before --- many, many times???)

The culture of service, business, band, etc. fraternity and sororities is different on every campus, just like with other groups. How you may perceive these groups to be because of your college experience may not be true nationally. It may not even be true on your campus. NO ONE has any right to judge any other organization (whether NPHC, NPC, IFC, or otherwise) on their pledging process, their ritual, etc., because the fact is, YOU DON'T KNOW. You don't know, and you are never going to know, so you need to stay out of it and stop making claims that are none of your dang business.

Seriously.

You seem so earnest which just seems misplaced here. Once a fratty has thrown out the NAACP in a thread that's a sign it shouldn't be taken seriously enough even for a mad smilie.

[lucgreek]

Just my two cents but:

(This portion isn't meant to inflame or anger anyone, it's just what I have been exposed to/heard about/know of the APO at my school. Again, organizations differ by school, so take this as what they are considered at my school.)

First and foremost, at my school, APO is considered a club (by the school and by the students), just like a professional GLO. They don't sit on any sort of fraternity or sorority board, thusly I do not consider them a fraternity. Just because you call yourself a fraternity does not automatically make it so.

Also, APO at my university has more drama, bullshit, and members that dislike each other than any social fraternity/sorority (There was a case of several people deactivating because one of their friends didn't get elected president, along with cases of members openly disliking other ones and bashing them. I've also had a friend who kicked her own APO members out of a party she was having because they were talking shit). Take that as you will. My friends in APO feel much less a sense of belonging to a whole than I do with my social fraternity, I've been repeatedly told by so many people that they do it for their resume (and that's how they recruit on campus, just as a resume builder). And again, at my school as long as you do your APO services hours you get in.

But back to the original poster's question!

I don't know the fraternities where you are going, but it really depends. Speaking honestly, I don't know if you would have a lot in common with your undergrad pledge brothers and other potential brothers. That's the key thing I look for when considering people at rush events, whether or not they get along and whether they would fit.

Also, would you be willing to go to all the events that are undoubtedly required of you? Because you're over 30, I don't know if going to sorority mixers would even interest you. Would you be willing to do the undoubted bitch work of cleaning up after a party or mixer?

If you were rushing at my school, I would have to see how you bonded with everyone, especially the newest members just because if you don't really bond or have things in common with them, you probably won't spend time with your pledge class.

Honestly, I, personally, don't think I would pledge at your age, just because of the sheer amount of bitch work and 'paying your dues' you have to do as a pledge.

[srmom]

Kato,

I appreciate your situation and wish you well. I admire your service to our country (THANK YOU!) and am glad that you have come back with such a positive attitude.

As a wife and mother, I have to say that I would have a problem with my husband pledging a fraternity. The time commitment is immense if you truly are planning on doing all that the other pledges are doing. Add to that the commitment you are making to do well in school, and I just don't see how a person could possibly give all that is needed to meet each of the commitment's needs - your marriage being foremost.

Your wife must be a saint, either that, or she doesn't know quite what your looking at getting into.

JMO - I truly do wish you luck