What's wrong with our youth? Is it a psychosocial disorder? Is it the parents?

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

I see soooo few that 'over parent' that it would be more refreshing to see more active parents. Not to say that over-parenting is excellent, but where I work the parents have sooooo many excuses for why thier child misbehaves, some do not believe thier child misbehaves, and some just don't give a rats ass.

So many of the children I come in contact with don't fear anything. I was sooo afraid that if I cut the fool that my mom would decend on me like armageddon, so I didn't do things to get murdered. lol I have seen for too many of my students talk back to thier parents/gradnparents/whomever that I don't expect them to care when they are in school or other public places. What is worse....the parents that misbehave themselves and laugh when thier children do it.

I guess, to me, part of over-parenting includes not requiring their children to take responsibility for their actions and/or always trying to fix it for them. It's always someone else's fault. Their precious child would *never* do anything wrong! Though, I can also see where that may be considered under-parenting as well.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by ISUKappa

But you're trying so hard to show us we're all wrong!


That was the point, genius, it's called sarcasm.

I know the point you're trying to make, but you're still generalizing a heckuva lot. I kind of hate to pull the "when you're a parent, you'll understand" card, but seriously, it's way, way different when you have kids of your own. Not to say that adults without kids can't see where parents come from, but parents have a BTDT mentality.

My son is two. He's in the middle of toddlerhood. That means defiance and lots of tantrums as he attempts to assert his independence and learn boundaries. As of now, we haven't had to spank, and maybe we never will, but it takes a lot of patience (of which I don't always have a steady supply) to deal some days. How do you balance discipline with letting him figure out the world around him by himself? It's hard. And, in my opinion, those decisions only get more difficult as children get older.

We can all give anecdotes as to how our parents did such and such and, see, I turned out fine. My parents spanked, they were a two-income household and weren't always able to attend and support me at every single activity I was involved in. I think I turned out okay (except for that stint in a Mexican prison - joking!). That doesn't mean someone in a similar situation necessarily turned out the same, though. Each person is different and needs different parenting styles (even within the same family).

Personal experiences are still opinions and based on only an individual-level version of fact. With millions of people in this world, we can't listen to everyone's story and exceptions to whatever perceived rules.

Yes, under and over-discipline can have a negative impact on kids. There's research on corporal punishment. This is why raising a kid is more than disciplining them when they are doing something wrong. You have to raise them when they are right and wrong.

Spank or not spank = parents' decisions that people can form opinions about but can't be legislated unless there's a clear case for child abuse.

So whether or not people choose to spank, RAISE YOUR KIDS so the CPS or corrective systems don't have to RAISE YOUR KIDS. It's hard for working parents and single parents but it isn't impossible. Even if you feel exhausted, frustrated, and helpless. Find help or reliquish your parenting rights so that another person or entity can do it.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Personal experiences are still opinions and based on only an individual-level version of fact. With millions of people in this world, we can't listen to everyone's story and exceptions to whatever perceived rules.

That was my point. Parent the child you have according to their needs.

Yes, under and over-discipline can have a negative impact on kids. There's research on corporal punishment. This is why raising a kid is more than disciplining them when they are doing something wrong. You have to raise them when they are right and wrong.

Spank or not spank = parents' decisions that people can form opinions about but can't be legislated unless there's a clear case for child abuse.

So whether or not people choose to spank, RAISE YOUR KIDS so the CPS or corrective systems don't have to RAISE YOUR KIDS. It's hard for working parents and single parents but it isn't impossible. Even if you feel exhausted, frustrated, and helpless. Find help or reliquish your parenting rights so that another person or entity can do it.

I don't know if this is directed at me personally or if you're just making general statements.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by ISUKappa

But you're trying so hard to show us we're all wrong!


That was the point, genius, it's called sarcasm.

I'm not saying any of you are wrong. You're telling me that I am though. You have your opinions on the whole issue, and I have mine.

And the sarcasm was very funny. I was only kidding with you anyway. Lighten up.

[cheerfulgreek]

Dammit! I'm gonna be late for class. This was getting interesting.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by ISUKappa

Personally, I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

"Personally" is the only word you added to your pointless point.

Someone call Whitney. lol

[DSTCHAOS]

Over-parenting means to me that the parents are too strict and harsh with their kids. Everything is the kid's fault and the parent spends more time disciplining than raising and talking to the child.

I knew a couple of parents who only addressed the child if the child was doing something wrong and then it always went fro 0-100 very quickly. No talking or connecting, just yelling and hitting. The kids were fearful and resentful. Definitely future delinquents when they get a chance to be away from their parents' control. Or kids who can't wait to go off to college so they can pretend their parents don't exist.

[AGDee]

Also rates of crime are much higher in the South than anywhere else.


I am really curious where you're getting these kinds of statistics because the last few years, Detroit and St. Louis have been named as the areas with the most violent crime per capita.

[BLUPERFECTION03]

I think I'll be heading back out the door...so much anger!!

[nittanyalum]

[DSTCHAOS]

LOL...people are funny.

cheerfulgreek waited almost a day later to respond to that post. Almost like she needed for it to be resolved before she said something. I'm not buying that she didn't notice that post yesterday.

Tippiechick: relax, relate, release...chai latte demands it.

cheerfulgreek: if you were going the too-little-too-late aggressive route, I'm clowning...HARD...but I won't call you names...yet.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

DSTCHAOS, I saw it this morning when you quoted it. Then I went back to respond.

DUHHHHH and that's what makes your response so lame.

[Senusret I]

^^^ It ain't work for me.

[Senusret I]

Wow..... it's pretty lame that you "heard" about a thread.

[SWTXBelle]

So, every time I see this thread title, I want to break out in song.

Kids!
I don't know what's wrong with these kids these days!
. . .
Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way!
What's the matter with kids today?

Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.