Visiting Chapters Thread

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by PhiKapSkulls

Wow is all I can say. Why don't you ask your nationals those questions and see what they say??? They would be hugely dissapointed that you have to even ask. You just truly don't get brotherhood (at least on a national level).

I think it's a perfect question to ask nationals. I'd love to know their thoughts on how you should view the thousands of members of your organization whom you don't know from Adam. I'd be willing to be they would utter many of the same things that we have said here.........that you should treat them with kindness, courtesy, and respect. You should observe the fact that all of us share the same rituals and oaths that we took upon becoming members of our organization.

I doubt very seriously that they would be "disappointed" in the fact that some of us actually view brotherhood as something that you have to create between the men that you are around all of the time. That you have to work towards it to achieve it. You talk of brotherhood like it's just suddenly bestowed upon all of us at the same time once we become members of our organizations. It has taken years to create the bonds that I have made with my pledge/fraternity brothers. Sorry if it shocks and irritates you that we hold those bonds very dearly and aren't willing to just garner some random XYZ fraternity member with the same amount of deep closeness that we share with the members of our separate chapters. Members from other chapters have my respect and admiration for choosing to join our organization. They will all enjoy the common courtesy that I have been taught to treat all people with. Until we meet and get to know each other, that's what they are getting. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Please though, enlighten me on how to "get" brotherhood.

Originally Posted by macallan25

I think it's a perfect question to ask nationals. I'd love to know their thoughts on how you should view the thousands of members of your organization whom you don't know from Adam. I'd be willing to be they would utter many of the same things that we have said here.........that you should treat them with kindness, courtesy, and respect. You should observe the fact that all of us share the same rituals and oaths that we took upon becoming members of our organization.

I doubt very seriously that they would be "disappointed" in the fact that some of us actually view brotherhood as something that you have to create between the men that you are around all of the time. That you have to work towards it to achieve it. You talk of brotherhood like it's just suddenly bestowed upon all of us at the same time once we become members of our organizations. It has taken years to create the bonds that I have made with my pledge/fraternity brothers. Sorry if it shocks and irritates you that we hold those bonds very dearly and aren't willing to just garner some random XYZ fraternity member with the same amount of deep closeness that we share with the members of our separate chapters. Members from other chapters have my respect and admiration for choosing to join our organization. They will all enjoy the common courtesy that I have been taught to treat all people with. Until we meet and get to know each other, that's what they are getting. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Please though, enlighten me on how to "get" brotherhood.

Someone has their panties in a bunch.

Obviosuly non-chapter brothers aren't going to have the same bonds as chapter brothers. My organization actually promotes chapters visiting chapters to meet our "other" brothers and expand our horizions. I have found more times then not, there was a bond by just being in the same fraternity. Not as strong as being in the same chapter but a mutual respect thing. I actually got to witness another chapter's brothering up ceremony and that was something I'd recommend everyone does. That was one of the moments that I got botherhood on a national level. But hey, we had brothers that only cared about the local chapter as well. I guess it what you want to make/get out of it. I personally like meeting brothers from other chapters. More times then not we have got along and treated each other as brothers- not chapter brothers but not as random people on the street either but rather as fraternal brothers.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by PhiKapSkulls

Someone has their panties in a bunch.

No, I'm perfectly fine.

Obviosuly non-chapter brothers aren't going to have the same bonds as chapter brothers.

If I remember correctly you stated that some of don't "get brotherhood" for pretty much having this exact view. Pretty sure I'm not wrong about that.

My organization actually promotes chapters visiting chapters to meet our "other" brothers and expand our horizions.

I have neither the time nor the desire to visit a bunch of chapters of SAE to expand my fraternal horizons. I'm not even really sure what that means. If it so happens that I have friends in the same fraternity when visiting other schools on road trips......then so be it. We will have a great time.

I have found more times then not, there was a bond by just being in the same fraternity. Not as strong as being in the same chapter but a mutual respect thing.

If I meet someone and they deserve my respect than they will get it. I'm not going to automatically respect someone because they pay money to be a member of a fraternity.

I actually got to witness another chapter's brothering up ceremony and that was something I'd recommend everyone does. That was one of the moments that I got botherhood on a national level.

Don't really have any desire to witness initiation ceremonies at other chapters. I know the ritual. I've been through it. It's something that should be enjoyed by the chapter themselves. I don't need to see it.

I'm glad you "got brotherhood" though. You still haven't enlightened us on how to get it.

But hey, we had brothers that only cared about the local chapter as well.

Never said I don't care about other chapters.

I guess it what you want to make/get out of it. I personally like meeting brothers from other chapters. More times then not we have got along and treated each other as brothers- not chapter brothers but not as random people on the street either but rather as fraternal brothers.

You're right, your fraternity experience is what you make of it. Mine has been stellar.

Never said I didn't like meeting guys from other chapters. I've met tons of them at many, many schools throughout Texas and the South. That's great. They are SAE's. I'm and SAE. We are in the same fraternity. Perhaps later when we are at the bar we can talk about our crazy brotherhood events, or how fucked up we got on big bro night. Maybe we will exchange numbers and keep in touch. We say bye, we go home, that's the end of it. Now I have some new friends who happen to be in the same fraternity as me. What is wrong with that? I met new people and recognized that they are in the same fraternity as me. We didn't share some kind of enlightened fraternal moment, we didn't create some kind of lasting enchanted fraternal bond..........we made friends and had a hell of a time.




Good talk, I'll see ya out there.

[fantASTic]

I've visited other AST chapters and it was loads of fun! If an AST came around here, I'd love to have her stop in and hang out.

Maybe it'll be fun!

If you don't want them to come, you can always say that they can come hang out for a weekend but you don't have anywhere for them to stay. That usually deters people.

[Zillini]

There's something about large groups that make people go crazy and forget their manners. On football game weekends we used to invite members of the opposing campus' chapter to stay at our house. We had one too many instances of them running amok and trashing the place. We even had a few instances of some bringing alcohol into our house which is both a violation of University policy and our Inatl.

This is our home people! The house is open to alums, parents and other guests on game days. It was embarrassing! We now invite them over for our pregame meal, but they need to find other places to stay. I feel bad it came to this, but even giving out house guidelines beforehand didn't stop the problem.

[knight_shadow]

When my chapter had a house, we had several neighboring chapters that would regularly visit. My chapter makeup was/is different from many of the other chapters, but that always made the visits more interesting.

As far as staying for a weekend -- that's a little bit much. Staying for the day is never an issue, but anything longer than that does tend to get a little bit awkward. Most of our brothers that needed to be in the area for longer than a day would either stay at a hotel or at individual brothers' homes.

[RaggedyAnn]

Since it's the first time, you don't know if you won't like each other. This could be the beginning of a great relationship. They obviously think your chapter is cool enough to visit. Maybe your chapter can go visit them some time? You never know unless you try.

[Tom Earp]

If they come, one would hope they have respect for their fellow members.

I know of a Chapter that visited a house and items were stolen.

It does not take long for the word to get out and they are never invited back again.

There used to be a lot of visitations going on and I do not know if it still does, but it is good to meet and greet fellow members. Well, unless they are asses and should be told to leave and the word put out.

[Senusret I]

SEC, does your chapter have a website?

I know of an Alpha Chapter of an NPHC organization that had to deal with surprise visiting members so much that they wrote a policy and placed it on the website. I can't recall the exact wording but it was something like "We welcome you to visit with us, but we regret that we cannot house visitors with less than two weeks' notice." and/or "Please contact us prior to your visit so that we will know members are in the area."

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by SECdomination

I start a perfectly civil and reasonable thread and you run in, guns blazing, acting like I'm an arrogant prick without an understanding of true brotherhood?
Now THAT is unbelievable.

You're right. I reacted irrationally because I was in a pissy mood. I offer you my sincere apologies.

From reading the rest of this thread, it's clear that attitudes are different within the NPC and the NIC. I don't think anyone expects the bonds to be the same for strangers who happen to be in the same GLO than those for the members of anyone's particular chapter but the outright disdain that others have expressed is puzzling.

[AlexMack]

Here's some food for thought:

I have met sisters through greekchat and livejournal that are, right now, the reason I do not drop my letters and disaffiliate. They are exactly what I was looking for when I decided to join my sorority. Support, friendship, love through thick and thin.

I have never met these women in real life and I know that when my chapter, the women who extended me a bid, rejected me through no fault of my own, the closeness you guys talk about comes to me 2000 miles away. When I need someone to talk to, I call a sister in California.

Here's the thing-even if I was close with my chapter, I'd treat any sister I met with more than just courtesy and respect. So...is this just a male/female difference? Any other women feel the same way as me? Should we ask Alexandra Robbins? I bet she managed to get undercover in a fraternity house no problem :P

SEC-I had to go to a funeral recently. My great-uncle. Diagnosis of Alzheimer's last fall and he died of pneumonia in February. I'm really sorry for my callousness. There's been too much death recently.

[knight_shadow]

^^^ Got it. Thanks.

Oh, and to clarify, in my "why join a national..." comment, I meant the general you (not you specifically). But thanks again for responding. I learn something new on GC every day

[macallan25]

No problem. I appreciate you being civil and levelheaded in your responses.

read: nice and understanding.

[Elephant Walk]

Wow is all I can say. Why don't you ask your nationals those questions and see what they say??? They would be hugely dissapointed that you have to even ask. You just truly don't get brotherhood (at least on a national level).

We've gotten into this before about my (and a few other guys on the board) opinions on nationals. Nationals are only worth it for the insurance. If we could figure out how to make it just as cheap, we would likely break away. Nationals is a waste of space otherwise. Nothing further needs to be said because it's off topic.

I have to ask - since you seem to feel this way about those who are members of your fraternity but not in your chapter, do you feel the same way toward your founders?

Your founders did not participate in your pledgeship. Your founders did not live with you for five or six years.

What does that make them?

In my opinion, that makes them the founders of the organization.

They have great ideals which lay the foundation, but they're not my brothers in any sense that the guys in my chapter are.

I really don't understand the love-affair between Greek-Chat and the national organization.

[catiebug]

And without your founders, you would not have your chapter.

QED

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

In my opinion, that makes them the founders of the organization.

They have great ideals which lay the foundation, but they're not my brothers in any sense that the guys in my chapter are.

I really don't understand the love-affair between Greek-Chat and the national organization.