New Sister with a Chapter Problem

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

As a volunteer that works with collegians in our hierarchy, I would say go to someone from your headquarters instead of your Greek Advisor. I think things like this should be handled internally. From reading things on GC, it seems like the university is very quick to close a chapter whereas an international/national org has some investment in wanting to keep chapters open if at all possible, but just changing the behaviors of those chapters (especially if there have been no injuries/deaths). They would be more likely to "clean house" and rid the chapter of those who refuse to follow a "no hazing" policy. And, usually, when something like this happens, it is a small (but powerful/intimidating/bossy) group who are leading it. Almost always, there are more women against it than for it, but they are afraid to say anything. Once a Greek Advisor has the info though, anything goes... university can pull recognition, it can end up in the campus newspaper, etc.

Honestly, if you read GC, the stories of female hazing resulting in a chapter pull initiated by the university are very very few and far between. The university derecognizes the group after the national pulls the charter. The males, though - that's another story.

Once again, without knowing the kind of hazing the OP's talking about, it's very hard to make a judgement call. They beat them till they bled? Screw HQ, screw the GA, call the police. They asked them to interview a kind of gross fraternity guy? Unpleasant, yes, but is it really worth risking your charter for?

As recent initiates, they don't know what kind of history and relationship this chapter has with their HQ. If it's a small chapter, at a school with weak Greek life, without a lot of prominent alums - i.e. not a big moneymaker - rather than clean house and send volunteers to revitalize it, they're just as likely to pull the charter and be done with it.

[beautifulnite12]

Hi all - Thank you very much for all your advice! In regards to me, I was initiated last fall in our new member class of 12. Our chapter is between 50 and 60 women including the women who initiated last semester. We just had informal recruitment and now have 8 new women pledging.

My chapter is apparently not the typical chapter - we have no alumnae advisor and our only advisor on the local level is our Greek Advisor, who believe it or not is not very pro-Greek. I spoke with my Big and several other sisters who have spoken up against hazing in the past. It didn't go well for them and all that happened was that everyone got really angry and began to fight. We think that one of the reasons for that is that no one really proposed any concrete solutions for how to make all the changes while at the same time protecting chapter traditions. There is no life-threatening hazing going on (at least not unless something goes horribly wrong) - just things that are outside of our national new member program and that are not fun - actually that just plain suck for those forced to do them. (I'd rather not publicly elaborate, if that's okay.)

My new member class and I are going to bring this up at our next chapter meeting. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to present it so that it doesn't seem like we're trying to take over and so that the older sisters might be more receptive to our ideas? We want to take a stand, but also don't want to make threats that we can't/won't follow through with.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by 33girl

As recent initiates, they don't know what kind of history and relationship this chapter has with their HQ. If it's a small chapter, at a school with weak Greek life, without a lot of prominent alums - i.e. not a big moneymaker - rather than clean house and send volunteers to revitalize it, they're just as likely to pull the charter and be done with it.

This was probably the situation. I commend the OP and her NM class for doing whatever they could to stop the hazing. It's just a real shame that there was not enough support (especially disappointing about the alumnae!) for a non-hazing chapter, and that the right women can't continue the chapter the right way.

[Zillini]

You and those sisters who agree with you need to stand up for what you believe in. You may be outnumbered but from what you said, you aren't alone. You may even be surprised by how many older members feel the same way yet were too intimidated to stand up against the wrongdoers. It sounds like you have tried to reason with people and that hasn't worked.

Now is the time for you to make some tough decisions. What is more important to you? Standing up for what you believe in or not rocking the boat and being unpopular with the older sisters? I hope you decide to stand strong, but that choice is up to you. I hope you will show your entire Chapter that you are a leader who will stand firm and not back down.

Maybe it's time to scare folks with some reality. I suggest you do your research first. Go to your Chapter business meeting armed with a copy of your I/natl's policy against hazing. We all have one. Check out your University policies as well. Tell your sisters what they have been doing is wrong and against policy. It threatens your standing as members of your GLO and as a whole Chapter with both your org and your University.

Something else many people don't think about even with so-called "minor" hazing. Hazing of any sort leaves all of you vulnerable to potential legal liability if someone decides to sue. All it takes is one person to file a complaint a lawyer. Since this is in direct violation of your I/natl policies, NPC and the University, no one will come to your defense. You could lose face large $$$ judgements against you as individuals. Anyone think moms and dads would be willing or even able to pay a multi-million dollar settlement due to their daughters' actions? Think they'd appreciate that?

If you can't get them to change then you have one of three choices.

1) Resign your membership. The thing is that won't change anything. The hazing will continue and you will be heartbroken. The hazers will have won and will continue with business as usual.

2) Normally I would suggest you contact your alum advisor first, but you said you don't have one. IMHO that probably explains this has gone on for so long. Anyways, you need to be willing to contact your I/natl. I know this is scary but believe me no I/natl wants one of their Chapters to haze. They will launch an investigation and what happens next will be determined by their findings. Every GLO and every situation are different so it's impossible to predict the outcome. The best case scenario would be that individuals would be held accountable for their actions, not the Chapter as a whole.

3) Last, you could do nothing or worse go along with the hazing. I hope you are strong enough not to choose this option.

I wish you strength in your convictions so that you will be able to persuade your sisters to do what's right.

[Matsimela]

I don't really have any first-hand experience or knowledge to share in this area but I can understand your reasoning in being reluctant to report it to your national board. You, however are limited in your options if you really want to get this situation resolved. I would suggest either taking matters into your own hands and handling the situation amongst your chapter sisters or report to your national board.

[beautifulnite12]

Thank you to all who provided encouragement and advice! We are going to be working very hard in the coming weeks to get all of this straightened out and make some major changes to our New Member programs. I love the idea of using our chapter traditions to create sisterhood activities - achieving the same outcomes, but in a way that is not hazing and I hope that we can be create to make some of those work for us. Thanks again for all the help and advice I've gotten!

[Alpha Sig]

Hi everyone, I am new, Some friends of mine and myself have started a Service Sorority ( Nu Alpha Sigma Service Sorority Inc. Alpha Chapter)

[violetpretty]

When does your chapter do elections? Have you, anyone in your pledge class, or a like-minded older sister thought about running for New Member Educator (NME, or whatever your chapter calls it)? If you have someone who is anti-hazing in that position, things can change pretty quickly and easily.

The NME is in charge of planning the content of the meetings and any other activities geared-towards new members, so if there isn't someone planning hazing activities, hazing will be reduced to the individual level. The NME can also give accurate information about hazing, such as what to do if they think they are being hazed (i.e. don't participate in the activity, question the authority of the person who is making them do whatever, tell the NME, call an anti-hazing hotline if one exists at your school, etc.)

The older sisters, by telling your NM class that your HQ wouldn't believe you if you claimed you were being hazed, were manipulating you. Your HQ would most certainly believe a new member who said she was being hazed! With that said, I think you should try to work out the issue internally before calling in your HQ.

1. I like the idea of talking about it at chapter meeting.
2. Definitely treat your spring class how you think all new members should be treated. Tell them you were hazed, how it made you feel. This will likely gain support for your anti-hazing movement in the chapter. If there are hazing activities planned, don't take part in them. Encourage other sisters to do the same.
3. Try to elect an NME who wants to get rid of hazing.
4. Call the NME of other chapters of your sorority (such as one that won an award for their NM program) for suggestions on how to improve your chapter's NM program. They should be able to offer suggestions constructive activities to allow new members to bond with each other and with other sisters in the chapter. You wouldn't necessarily have to tell them (and therefore your HQ) that your chapter used to haze, you can just say that your NM program needs work.
5. If the majority of your chapter is still very resistant to getting rid of hazing, tell them that you're going to call your HQ about it. I don't think that your NM class would get in trouble for "letting" them haze you because they manipulated you into thinking that there was no choice (ie. that HQ wouldn't believe you).

[DaffyKD]

There is a major liability issue at hand here if this does not get reported. As the OP said, there has been nothing life threatening UNLESS SOMETHING GOES TERRIBLY WRONG. Don't wait for something to go wrong. The fact that there is hazing going on puts not only the chapter at risk of liability, but also the members. There are situations where the hazers ended up doing jail time. Is that worth ignoring the situation? No one plans for something to go terribly wrong, but these things do and have happened. The hazing needs to stop NOW. National MUST be made aware of the situation. If it is taken care of internally, it is possible for national to keep the chapter open while taking care of the situation. If they are not made aware of the situation and something does go wrong, not only will your school shut you down, National will back them up and you can be sure that there will be something in the media which will hurt the entire organization. The hazing may only involve one chapter of less than 100 people, but it can hurt an entire organization with thousands of thousands of proud members.

DAFFYKD

[SWTXBelle]

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=92965


Don't let this happen to you!

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=92965


Don't let this happen to you!

Numbers don't add up. OP said there were 50-60 in her chapter and the article indicated 120. But, you are on the right track

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by Alpha Sig

Hi everyone, I am new, Some friends of mine and myself have started a Service Sorority ( Nu Alpha Sigma Service Sorority Inc. Alpha Chapter)

[KappaKittyCat]

Preciousjeni: I-G-N-O-R-E.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by KappaKittyCat

Preciousjeni: I-G-N-O-R-E.

lol

[DGTess]

Why would you NOT want to close your chapter if it has a reputation for hazing?????

Having a chapter close is not the worst thing that can happen. If you are proud of your GLO, you would want chapters that don't life up to its name to be punished. Sure, it's your chapter too, but take the moral high road. If you're charged with hazing (even as part of a group) you all go down. If you STOP the hazing, whether or not you're acknowledged, you know you did the right thing.