How to help PNMs who don't get first choice?

[carnation]

This was a good thread! It had advice that's important during recruitment season.

[pearlalum]

Back in my day and on my campus, there were no bid opening ceremonies. You went to your pref parties (we had a max of 2), and then the next day, you waited in your dorm room. You could see and hear the chapters going throughout the campus and dorms to "pick up" their new pledges. Then, you'd hear a knock on your door (all was quiet in the hallway), and open it up to see your new sisters standing outside of your door, singing and cheering when you opened your door. Your new sorority handed you your bid card to join them.

Ironically, my roommate and I had the same 2 prefs, but ranked them differently. Her sorority came first to our door, and acted sad that they didn't have a bid card to give me. When they left with my roommate, I was so excited, knowing that my number one was on their way to pick me up! But, I would have been happy to go with my roommate too. When it's all said and done, it worked out perfectly for both of us.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by pearlalum

Back in my day and on my campus, there were no bid opening ceremonies.

Same here, but I would have definitely preferred that my school had a bid opening ceremony at a central location. It was torture for me to see my freshman year roommate get welcomed by her new sisters at our dorm room after I was cut from every chapter after the 2nd round. Then again, I suppose I should have had the foresight to get out of dodge and hide in the library that morning!

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by dukemama

Same here, but I would have definitely preferred that my school had a bid opening ceremony at a central location. It was torture for me to see my freshman year roommate get welcomed by her new sisters at our dorm room after I was cut from every chapter after the 2nd round. Then again, I suppose I should have had the foresight to get out of dodge and hide in the library that morning!

My first school had a bid opening ceremony. I would have been such a mess if they had come to the dorm as my three best friends (including my roommate) who lived on my floor of 20 women all received a bid to the sorority I SIP and did not receive a bid from.

My second school also had a ceremony, but the rho gammas were placed throughout the PNMs. We also were given lists of where our group members received bids. Most of the rho gams were able to predict which PNMs would be unhappy with their bids.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by pearlalum

Back in my day and on my campus, there were no bid opening ceremonies. You went to your pref parties (we had a max of 2), and then the next day, you waited in your dorm room. You could see and hear the chapters going throughout the campus and dorms to "pick up" their new pledges. Then, you'd hear a knock on your door (all was quiet in the hallway), and open it up to see your new sisters standing outside of your door, singing and cheering when you opened your door. Your new sorority handed you your bid card to join them.

Ironically, my roommate and I had the same 2 prefs, but ranked them differently. Her sorority came first to our door, and acted sad that they didn't have a bid card to give me. When they left with my roommate, I was so excited, knowing that my number one was on their way to pick me up! But, I would have been happy to go with my roommate too. When it's all said and done, it worked out perfectly for both of us.

Originally Posted by dukemama

Same here, but I would have definitely preferred that my school had a bid opening ceremony at a central location. It was torture for me to see my freshman year roommate get welcomed by her new sisters at our dorm room after I was cut from every chapter after the 2nd round. Then again, I suppose I should have had the foresight to get out of dodge and hide in the library that morning!

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

I would have been such a mess if they had come to the dorm as my three best friends (including my roommate) who lived on my floor of 20 women all received a bid to the sorority I SIP and did not receive a bid from.
.

This is why they CALL (or in these days, email or text) women who did not get a bid WELL IN ADVANCE of any NM picking-up starting. At my school, if you did not get a bid, you were informed by 3 PM. Pickup didn't start until 6 PM. If you wanted to stay in the dorm and wallow and watch everyone else get picked up, that was your own fault.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

I think the fewer people who know it was her second choice the better.

ETA: It would be disastrous to morale to tell the new members that they were actually way down on the bid list and only got bids because everyone the chapter liked better wanted other groups.

I saw this older thread down at the bottom of some recruitment threads and suddenly remembered a time when that happened and it almost killed the chapter. This college had 2 sororities that pretty much took who they wanted every year. So a third sorority decided to "challenge" them and go after the most desirable girls in recruitment.

This did not end well. Not only did they ignore a lot of PNMs who were more like the women they usually pledged, but they were second choice for many women who got their first choices. They didn't make quota and also didn't waste any time in telling the new members what a huge disappointment they were (I heard it from someone who was actually there and heard the whole thing). Then, of course, a lot of new members quit immediately.

I always figured that some ill-advised alum had that bright idea.

[33girl]

It does a chapter good to break out of the “we could never get Awesome Ashley” mindset - because you never know, Awesome Ashley may have had it with the hypersocial lifestyle, wants college to be different and wants a down to earth group of sisters, not the popularity queens that she’s been told a zillion times she is a natural for. That being said, ignoring Average Audra at her expense is a bad plan. You have to find a way to make both things work.

[carnation]

The alum who was at Bid Day told me they thought they (let's call them PQ) were going to nab most of the Awesome Ashleys on campus. Because the whole campus seemed to know which girls were really only planning on going AB or CD, AB had cut the girls who were surely going CD and vice versa. So this left a lot of girls who would have only had 1 pref but they chose to go to PQ for the second, knowing that for them it was their first choice or nothing.

And practically all the PNMs got their first choice, leaving PQ with their third bid list--which they then told their new members.

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by carnation

The alum who was at Bid Day told me they thought they (let's call them PQ) were going to nab most of the Awesome Ashleys on campus. Because the whole campus seemed to know which girls were really only planning on going AB or CD, AB had cut the girls who were surely going CD and vice versa. So this left a lot of girls who would have only had 1 pref but they chose to go to PQ for the second, knowing that for them it was their first choice or nothing.

And practically all the PNMs got their first choice, leaving PQ with their third bid list--which they then told their new members.

They actually told their new members they were last choice?

[carnation]

They sure did! They let them know that they were scraping the bottom of the barrel with their pledge class. Had it not been a reliable woman who witnessed this and told me about it, I never would've believed it. She did not care that it was her own sorority she was telling me about--she was furious that they had treated their new members like crap!

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by carnation

They sure did! They let them know that they were scraping the bottom of the barrel with their pledge class. Had it not been a reliable woman who witnessed this and told me about it, I never would've believed it. She did not care that it was her own sorority she was telling me about--she was furious that they had treated their new members like crap!

That is incredibly unkind and a lot of other words I probably should not say on here.

[carnation]

I have never heard the like in my life. This woman was an alum of that chapter and had been out just a few years. I always wondered how many quit by the end of that day.

[Low D Flat]

Prudence Mackintosh wrote about this in her famous article about Texas rush. It was clearly a rough year for a SRC -- she and her friends thought they could help the chapter out. The upperclassmen responded that Prudence's pledge class had been a "tremendous disappointment."

[carnation]

I remember that, it was the Kappas! But I guess that must've been a way to try to get the pledges to rise to the occasion and prove them wrong...really get out there and achieve!

Very hurtful, though.