Having a girlfriend and pledging? - Page 3

brahmajeep · #31 08-12-2007, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

why was this post nessessary? you've already made your point; this is just mean in my opinion. you don't know his girlfriend, and while i also didn't get the best impression of her, it's not up to you to put ideas like this in his head. he didn't ask anyone to tell him if his girlfriend was an idiot or not, he just asked what he could expect and if her concerns were valid. he got advice and moved on. but you haven't. why?

Thank you Ilaria, I was starting to think I was the only one thinking all this..

For anyone that really cares, yes my girlfriend has problems with being insecure/trusting issues. She has them from a previous relationship that went terrible...and she trusts me more everyday, it really is getting better. My girlfriend would never cheat on me. Thats the bottom line. Shes a girl with really good morals. Honestly.

I am on here asking how tough it will be for ME. Its funny how not even once did anyone think I could be thinking of breaking up with her.

James · #32 08-12-2007, 02:03 AM

"Her past should not interfere with your present."

Quote:

Originally Posted by brahmajeep

Thank you Ilaria, I was starting to think I was the only one thinking all this..

For anyone that really cares, yes my girlfriend has problems with being insecure/trusting issues. She has them from a previous relationship that went terrible...and she trusts me more everyday, it really is getting better. My girlfriend would never cheat on me. Thats the bottom line. Shes a girl with really good morals. Honestly.

I am on here asking how tough it will be for ME. Its funny how not even once did anyone think I could be thinking of breaking up with her.

PrettyBoy · #33 08-12-2007, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

"Her past should not interfere with your present."

I agree. Again, she sounds insecure to me. We all have had bad past relationships but we learn from them and move on. To me it doens't seem like she wants to move on. I think she's letting her own insecurities interfere with the support of her friend. My opinion.

PrettyBoy · #34 08-12-2007, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

why was this post nessessary? you've already made your point; this is just mean in my opinion. you don't know his girlfriend, and while i also didn't get the best impression of her, it's not up to you to put ideas like this in his head. he didn't ask anyone to tell him if his girlfriend was an idiot or not, he just asked what he could expect and if her concerns were valid. he got advice and moved on. but you haven't. why?

o.k. that's fine. Your entitled to your opinion.

brahmajeep · #35 08-12-2007, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

"Her past should not interfere with your present."

Yet another comment moving backwards. Do you really think that your giving me any words that will help me through my pledge process? I wasn't asking for dating advice. It is what it is, its not going to change overnight...and yes it has changed for the better drastically since we met and shes almost over it entirely. I completely understand that shes worried, I think most girls would be if they knew nothing about the greek system and thier boyfriend was joining. How about this quote:

"Everything in your past makes you the person you are today"

Can we please just close this thread?

BlueReign · #36 08-12-2007, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brahmajeep

Yet another comment moving backwards. Do you really think that your giving me any words that will help me through my pledge process? I wasn't asking for dating advice. It is what it is, its not going to change overnight...and yes it has changed for the better drastically since we met and shes almost over it entirely. I completely understand that shes worried, I think most girls would be if they knew nothing about the greek system and thier boyfriend was joining. How about this quote:

"Everything in your past makes you the person you are today"

Can we please just close this thread?

I agree with you. You said that you all had been together for a while so I know that you have been through some things together. If she really loves you (and I'm sure that you know she does

) then she would be excited for you joining a fraternity.

Don't listen to the negativity in this thread. Her insecurities may have nothing to do with anything involving her past relationships but may be deeper than that like her childhood. Communication is crucial here as you go through this. You seem like a positive person so talk to your woman and keep your head up!

cheerfulgreek · #37 08-12-2007, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brahmajeep

Hello everyone,

I'll tell you my story in short and I really want advice from those who can tell me the truth on what I should do.

I have a girlfriend and we are serious. We've been together for a while and I plan on being with her for a while. I really want to join a certain fraternity for so many reasons. I've found that these are all guys I get along with, trust, and really want to be apart of this fraternity for the brothers and the fun with the brothers that I will have. On the other hand, my girlfriend thinks that the fraternity is going to force me to do things that are going to destroy our relationship. Things like force me to take other girls to closed socials, make me go to events/retreats where we go to stripclubs, ect, ect.

I have the attitude that I want to join because its something that is important to me, and I have lots of idea of how I can help better the fraternity and become close with the guys. But my girlfriend is also important to me, and if I feel like they force me to do things that are going to tear my relationship apart and are against my own morals (I will NOT go to a stripclub regardless...I just refuse to support somethin like that honestly).

Now, please honestly answer this question. Will it be a problem?

I think she's just a little insecure right now because this is all new to her and you. Personally, I think this is perfectly normal. Have you two really sat down and talked about this?

James · #38 08-12-2007, 03:22 AM

Well my one comment was pretty general.

I already gave you my opinion on your pledge process and your decision making which had nothing to do with your girlfriend.

So I believe my posts were on point.

Quote:

Originally Posted by brahmajeep

Yet another comment moving backwards. Do you really think that your giving me any words that will help me through my pledge process? I wasn't asking for dating advice. It is what it is, its not going to change overnight...and yes it has changed for the better drastically since we met and shes almost over it entirely. I completely understand that shes worried, I think most girls would be if they knew nothing about the greek system and thier boyfriend was joining. How about this quote:

"Everything in your past makes you the person you are today"

Can we please just close this thread?

kathykd2005 · #39 08-12-2007, 03:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brahmajeep

Yet another comment moving backwards. Do you really think that your giving me any words that will help me through my pledge process? I wasn't asking for dating advice. It is what it is, its not going to change overnight...and yes it has changed for the better drastically since we met and shes almost over it entirely. I completely understand that shes worried, I think most girls would be if they knew nothing about the greek system and thier boyfriend was joining. How about this quote:

"Everything in your past makes you the person you are today"

Can we please just close this thread?

You can close it by ceasing your replies. That would work.

cheerfulgreek · #40 08-12-2007, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

You can close it by ceasing your replies. That would work.

Whoa!

lol

kathykd2005 · #41 08-12-2007, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Whoa!

lol

Someone had to say it. I don't mean to seem cold or callous, but the more you reply, the longer the thread is going to go on and the more upset you are going to get, Brahmajeep.

cheerfulgreek · #42 08-12-2007, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

Someone had to say it. I don't mean to seem cold or callous, but the more you reply, the longer the thread is going to go on and the more upset you are going to get, Brahmajeep.

Awww man, and I was trying to have a serious conversation with the guy, now you've got me laughing!

kathykd2005 · #43 08-12-2007, 03:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Awww man, and I was trying to have a serious conversation with the guy, now you've got me laughing!

Silly.

cheerfulgreek · #44 08-12-2007, 03:36 AM

^^^lol^^^

brahmajeep, seriously. I know you're looking at this thread right now. Have you seriously sat down and talked to her about it, and told her why you want to join?

Zillini · #45 08-12-2007, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brahmajeep

Yet another comment moving backwards. Do you really think that your giving me any words that will help me through my pledge process? I wasn't asking for dating advice. It is what it is, its not going to change overnight...and yes it has changed for the better drastically since we met and shes almost over it entirely. I completely understand that shes worried, I think most girls would be if they knew nothing about the greek system and thier boyfriend was joining. How about this quote:

"Everything in your past makes you the person you are today"

Can we please just close this thread?

You were the one who brought up your girlfriend and then went on to explain about her insecurities. Are you seriously surprised that people would talk about that? Moral of the story and some friendly advice -- if you don't want people to comment on something, don't bring it up in the first place.