Jack & Jill

[jubilance1922]

This a great discussion.

My hometown doesn't have J&J, but we do have a similar org, which was actually co-founded by a Past National President of Delta Sigma Theta. It was very much an "elite" organization, and it was well known that only girls from certain families would be invited to join. My parents were from the ghetto, and not from my hometown, so I guess we (or should I say I) wasn't good enough. Even though I'm one generation from the projects, I feel like I'm doing good to be only 24 with 2 degrees and a job that I love.

Who knows, maybe when I grow up and get married and have kids, maybe I'll be cool enough to be invited to J&J.

[risingstar]

I apologize. I must have been told completely wrong so I retract my statements. One person that I spoke with said that it was all about hard work, but she was sadly mistaken so I apologize for that. My bad. Please don't hold that against me.

[Little32]

I thought that the mention of hard work was in reference to AKA_Monet's statement about creating change in our respective and collective communities--not about getting invited to join one of these organizations.

[risingstar]

It really was. I was really responding to how much she has done in her community, which is inspiring, and a lot of hard work. You are very right. But I did also receive the wrong info about how the organizations want individuals who are hard workers in the community. I am still in school and have about 2 years left and that is what I am focused on, but I do have a lot of goals and plans for myself once I am finished and it is all about what I can do for the community. I would just like to be involved with organizations as well, but I will not base what I do on that.

[NiaX]

Originally Posted by SummerChild

Come on ya'll PLEEEEEASE stop with all of this hard work crap.
Everybody on this board knows that it only takes being considered to be in the upper crust and having a connection to get into J&J, the Links, etc. I know from personal experience (not with J&J but with the Links). I had to exhibit absolutely NO hard work to have a Link who was the mother of a guy that I was dating (and who wanted me to get married to her son) ask me if I wanted to join her Links chapter. We decided that it would not have made sense b/c I was moving to another state for lawschool (I was an engineer at the time). No hard work there...just connections.

We all know that these organizations are all about ELITISM. The woman that I referred to above told me, for example, that when her children were in J&J, the chapter did not take single mothers (no matter how HARD they worked) and did not take families that had a blue collar father (no matter how HARD he worked to support his family). If you're not considered to be one of the elite and upper crust, sorry for ya. That seems to be how these orgs roll.

Not to say anything bad about them but just to keep it REAL cause ya'll are driving me crazy with all this hard work crap.

Now my personal opinion is that you can expose your kids to other positive AA kids and role models w/out putting them into an elitist org wherein they will never interact with other AA kids that are more typical to the economic levels of most AA kids. Not saying anything is wrong with J&J but it is not a NECESSITY to have well exposed kids. Similarly, the Links is not a necessity. It's a whole bunch of money and if you're already in the most prestigious sisterhood on the globe, what time will you have for the Links? Unless you're just going to be a member in name only or you just like spending all of your time in meetings away from your man and/or kids. If you just like GIVING AWAY YOUR MONEY then give it to me.

SC

I guess I am wondering where that Hard work mantra was coming from. I know of my experience and such... but I was never stating of what is the NORM for J&J...

Shoot... I don't even know who got my mom invited... either me or my bro.

And Soror S... We actually did have a single mom in our chapter while I was there, and b/c her nephew was living with her under her care, he was added to the group when she joined.

[NiaX]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

I have to say a 'Ditto, amen' to this also. When my sister and I were little, my mom's sorority sister asked my mom if she wanted to get us into J&J. My mom considered it and asked what was required. My mom's sorority sister told my mom that she needed to submit her and my dad's income tax statement from the previous year. My mom said no thanks.


A lot of the activites that are done in J&J we did as a family. I think my sister and I got more out of that than we probably would have had we done those things through J&J. Bottom line, I'm sure that it is great to be in J&J, but it is not the end of the world if your kids are not in it.

Oh, I know some of those J&J kids, and they did not turn out any better or worse than we did (my sister and I).

the underlined... that is so true! Actually I had more fun hanging with the kids in church, school, after school activites, etc, then I did at J&J. But I have seen very sucessful folks that were NEVER in J&J.

But I really do think every chapter is diff for real!

[NiaX]

Originally Posted by jubilance1922

This a great discussion.

My hometown doesn't have J&J, but we do have a similar org, which was actually co-founded by a Past National President of Delta Sigma Theta. It was very much an "elite" organization, and it was well known that only girls from certain families would be invited to join. My parents were from the ghetto, and not from my hometown, so I guess we (or should I say I) wasn't good enough. Even though I'm one generation from the projects, I feel like I'm doing good to be only 24 with 2 degrees and a job that I love.

Who knows, maybe when I grow up and get married and have kids, maybe I'll be cool enough to be invited to J&J.

You better stop that Jubi! You are too cool!

[NiaX]

Originally Posted by Little32

I thought that the mention of hard work was in reference to AKA_Monet's statement about creating change in our respective and collective communities--not about getting invited to join one of these organizations.

It was... you are correct.

[SummerChild]

Oh, my fault ya'll. I thought you guys were talking about it takes hard work to *get into* these orgs.

SC

[jubilance1922]

Originally Posted by NiaX

You better stop that Jubi! You are too cool!

Yay! I made it into the cool club!

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by jubilance1922

This a great discussion.

My hometown doesn't have J&J, but we do have a similar org, which was actually co-founded by a Past National President of Delta Sigma Theta. It was very much an "elite" organization, and it was well known that only girls from certain families would be invited to join. My parents were from the ghetto, and not from my hometown, so I guess we (or should I say I) wasn't good enough. Even though I'm one generation from the projects, I feel like I'm doing good to be only 24 with 2 degrees and a job that I love.

Who knows, maybe when I grow up and get married and have kids, maybe I'll be cool enough to be invited to J&J.

Is that org Tots and Teens? Which PNP co-founded it?

[WenD08]

i would also like us to be mindful as to not paint the orgs. or its members w/the same brush. having grown up in J&J, gone to Spelman, "pledged" AKA, and chartering a chapter of The Links, Incorporated, what you all see isn't exactly what's real. everyone in these groups isn't rich/wealthy (i'm sure as heck not), or oh-so-connected, well-known, etc. the common thread is is that people wanted it (and not even w/the same desire, mind you). these folks did what was necessary to join whether they worked hard or little or paid a lot or a little. these groups do have members that weren't looked upon years ago so things have changed. apparently, perceptions haven't but that's understandable.
so, i thought i'd share and i do find this thread interesting as well

[Krucial Keys]

Personally I was invited. However my family had great connections working within the organization itself.

I will say one thing as much animosity as I have encountered from my college peers when they discover I was a member of this organization, I don't regret a min of being apart of J&J. I have met some of my most reliable and caring friends through J&J. Not to mention the lifelong network that was bulid between the members.

The ironic part was when I was in jr high and high school, my peers who were nots members were encouraging to me being a part of j and j. It was only when I got to college particullay in an Afro-Am studies class that I was treated negatively for my invovlement in Jack and Jill's. I had never experienced that b4 and was quite surprise that other black folks had such a problem with the organization.It was a most def a eye opening experience.

[RitaMae1908]

Originally Posted by Krucial Keys

Personally I was invited. However my family had great connections working within the organization itself.

I will say one thing as much animosity as I have encountered from my college peers when they discover I was a member of this organization, I don't regret a min of being apart of J&J. I have met some of my most reliable and caring friends through J&J. Not to mention the lifelong network that was bulid between the members.

The ironic part was when I was in jr high and high school, my peers who were nots members were encouraging to me being a part of j and j. It was only when I got to college particullay in an Afro-Am studies class that I was treated negatively for my invovlement in Jack and Jill's. I had never experienced that b4 and was quite surprise that other black folks had such a problem with the organization.It was a most def a eye opening experience.

I too have had people treat me differently because of my affiliation with J&J. But I make it my business to deminish any falsehoods that people may have been harboring. Usually they'd leave the conversation with a better insight of what J&J is all about.
As a matter of fact my J&J "mothers" are throwing me a wedding shower in a few months!!! They are all very intelligent, classy women. And I have learned a lot over the years from each of them.

[Confucius]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

To put it bluntly, no. If you do not have networking connections, then you will not have these experiences. Yes, it sucks. This is the way the "game" is played. Even though there have been significant strides to make a "level playing field" over the last 50 years, the world still operates that way. Anyone who tells you it is different, is lying to you. Yes, it is crap.

Your question is: Can it be different or changed?

In some regions or areas of the country--the United States, no. In some other regions of this country, yes.

What does it take to change, A LOT of hardwork, energy and effort. In ALL that you do, it has to be that.

For me to finagle all this, yes, I had to be a project whore. I had to attend bullisht-azzed meetings until the middle of night, spend several night away from my husband, get up EARLY in the morning to slang stuff.

That is the "name of the game".

And see, my husband thinks it is ALL about one's brain or intelligence... Yes, intelligence only allows to KEEP your job. But getting in there and meeting folks--NETWORKING--that is where you need to be...

Unsure about where to start?

COMMUNITY SERVICE in your area of interest... Non-profits always need help, that's a guarentee. In fact, in some med school, it is a requirement for admission...

This is a great thread. I had no idea about Links or J&J until when I first went to college. Soror...these are serious words of wisdom. This advice not only applies to J&J but literally to every aspect of "grown up" life. Well stated.