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  #31  
Old 07-19-2006, 12:43 AM
BobbyTheDon BobbyTheDon is offline
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Freakin fatties. Thank god I don't associate with fatties. you all irritate me with your laziness and excuses. Sure, blame genetics. Go ahead. You no will power motor boatin sons of bitches.
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  #32  
Old 07-19-2006, 12:48 AM
f8nacn f8nacn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbyTheDon
Freakin fatties. Thank god I don't associate with fatties. you all irritate me with your laziness and excuses. Sure, blame genetics. Go ahead. You no will power motor boatin sons of bitches.
that's why idiots hang together...
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  #33  
Old 07-19-2006, 01:20 AM
wrigley wrigley is offline
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Adelphean and previous posters are stating that it's hurtful to be blunt about someone else's flaws. No one is perfect. When someone has a addiction be it to food, alcohol, etc... the psychological problem is bigger sometimes than the physical action. In some cases they're feeding their feelings of inadequacy.

Whether it's a friend or a family member, it's important to let them know you care for them just as they are warts and all. Unconditional love and support is a rare commodity these days.

Last edited by wrigley; 07-19-2006 at 01:24 AM.
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  #34  
Old 07-19-2006, 08:44 AM
CarolinaCutie CarolinaCutie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by valkyrie
I don't agree that it's socially responsible and acceptable to tell someone to quit smoking. Telling your friends what to do is never a good idea, period.

If I were obsese, I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to be able to figure that out on my own without any friends telling me.
Thank you! Anyone who smokes or who is overweight knows that it's not exactly the healthiest thing. I don't need a friend to police me. If a friend brought it up to me, like, "Oh I should quit smoking/I really need to lose weight", I would be supportive. That's my job. It is not my job to be an annoying friend who states the obvious.
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  #35  
Old 07-19-2006, 10:08 AM
PM_Mama00 PM_Mama00 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelphean
99.9% of overweight/obese people KNOW that they are overweight or obese.

If I had a friend walk up to me and say smoking is bad and you shouldn't do it, I'd say hmmmm... I must have missed the memo on that, but thanks for letting me know.

If I had a friend come up to me and say you're overweight and being overweight is bad for you, I'd say fuck you, and not be their friend anymore.

Larger people don't need to be told that they're fat. I think they get the message when that size 16 just doesn't fit anymore.

There a PLENTY of things that are bad for you including smoking and being overweight. But in the end.... if you're not the one who is the smoker or is overweight, it's not your problem and it's DEFINITELY none of your business.
Exactly. And if they don't get the hint that their clothes are getting too small for them, the looks, stares and comments from strangers will most likely give them a hint. When someone has to deal with it from strangers (and most of the time family), who needs friends adding more?
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  #36  
Old 07-19-2006, 10:37 AM
Jimmy Choo Jimmy Choo is offline
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As someone who is currently struggling to bring her weight back in line I will say that sometimes weight gain is triggered by other factors in your life. I just left a absoulutely awful job!! The amount of stress that it caused was riduclous. Since I have quit said job I have lost almost 20lbs. In about another 7lbs I will be at the top end of what doctors recommend for my height and I am thrilled!!!! During this awful time in my life if someone had said to me "Geez, you've gained some weight!" I bet money I would have slapped them b/c I knew I had. I had a whole closet full of hot clothes that didn't fit anymore to prove it! If you see a friend stuggling with weight, especially if it comes on suddenly (like mine did) reach out to them and ask them what is going on in their life. That to me is the most tactful way to approach the situation. And that is exactly how my friends approached it and for that I am grateful.....
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  #37  
Old 07-19-2006, 10:51 AM
Drolefille Drolefille is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ecupidelta
As someone who is currently struggling to bring her weight back in line I will say that sometimes weight gain is triggered by other factors in your life. I just left a absoulutely awful job!! The amount of stress that it caused was riduclous. Since I have quit said job I have lost almost 20lbs. In about another 7lbs I will be at the top end of what doctors recommend for my height and I am thrilled!!!! During this awful time in my life if someone had said to me "Geez, you've gained some weight!" I bet money I would have slapped them b/c I knew I had. I had a whole closet full of hot clothes that didn't fit anymore to prove it! If you see a friend stuggling with weight, especially if it comes on suddenly (like mine did) reach out to them and ask them what is going on in their life. That to me is the most tactful way to approach the situation. And that is exactly how my friends approached it and for that I am grateful.....
Exactly what I was saying!

I think it's ok as long as you're clearly showing concern and not just saying "WOOOOEEEE you're puttin on the pounds!"
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  #38  
Old 07-19-2006, 11:11 AM
bcdphie bcdphie is offline
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This is a difficult question to answer: I have a friend who is morbidly obese. Obviously she knows she is far too heavy, however does nothing about it. She will start to exercise, but give up quite easily, and has no healthy eating habits.

Here's my concern: she has been very sick for almost a decade now. She is continuing to gain weight, and has had more health problems in the last year than entire 16 years we've been friends. I, and other friends, are very concerned for her health. Even her doctor has told her she needs to start leading a healthier life style.

I have been going to Curves for 17 months now and love it, and even got her going, but she just doesn't stick with it. I then did their 6-week challenge, really trimmed up, but took away the knowledge of how to eat really healthy. I told my friend (all my friends, actually) how much fun I had it with, and how it has changed my life - my subtle way, I suppose, of showing my concern for her.

Another friend of hers, who is also a very good friend of mine, has talked at length with me about how concerned she is for our friend. Obviously, the choice is up to our friend - no one but her can choose to begin live a healthier life, but we are just so scared that if she keeps on living the way she is, we won't have a friend to be worried/concerned about anymore.

Are you saving your friend's feelings by not saying anything, because they obviously know they are overweight; or are you hurting your friend because you are standing by, watching her dig her own grave, but feel you shouldn't say or do anything because that would just be insulting?
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  #39  
Old 07-19-2006, 11:32 AM
Jimmy Choo Jimmy Choo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bcdphie
This is a difficult question to answer: I have a friend who is morbidly obese. Obviously she knows she is far too heavy, however does nothing about it. She will start to exercise, but give up quite easily, and has no healthy eating habits.

Here's my concern: she has been very sick for almost a decade now. She is continuing to gain weight, and has had more health problems in the last year than entire 16 years we've been friends. I, and other friends, are very concerned for her health. Even her doctor has told her she needs to start leading a healthier life style.

I have been going to Curves for 17 months now and love it, and even got her going, but she just doesn't stick with it. I then did their 6-week challenge, really trimmed up, but took away the knowledge of how to eat really healthy. I told my friend (all my friends, actually) how much fun I had it with, and how it has changed my life - my subtle way, I suppose, of showing my concern for her.

Another friend of hers, who is also a very good friend of mine, has talked at length with me about how concerned she is for our friend. Obviously, the choice is up to our friend - no one but her can choose to begin live a healthier life, but we are just so scared that if she keeps on living the way she is, we won't have a friend to be worried/concerned about anymore.

Are you saving your friend's feelings by not saying anything, because they obviously know they are overweight; or are you hurting your friend because you are standing by, watching her dig her own grave, but feel you shouldn't say or do anything because that would just be insulting?
This one is tough b/c I'm willing to bet her health issues are being triggered by her weight. Look at what has gone on in her life. Is there anything could be seen as a trigger? Some people are predispositioned to be on the heavier side. (I had to have that discussion with my 12 year old cousin. I had to convience her that people who are 5'8" at age 12 were never meant to be a size 2.) But no one is predispostioned to be morbidly obese. Why have things like Curves worked for you but she can't stick with it? What is it that turns her off? Before you can get her to really get into weight loss those are some issues that need to be looked at. Like several others have said, showing concern for the friend in a tactful manner is the most important thing. Make about her and how much you care for your friend and her health.
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  #40  
Old 07-19-2006, 11:37 AM
blueangel blueangel is offline
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There's really nothing more you can do. Your friend obviously has problems that go a lot deeper than you're equipped to handle. She may have some psychological issues that need to be addressed professionally. Her weight might be "protecting" her from something-- such as having to deal with a man. (Maybe she was sexually abused as a child?)

And-- maybe exercising is too difficult for her. Remember.. when you're that obese, it can be extremely taxing on the heart and respiratory system. Maybe she needs to find a program specifically designed for someone with her problem. She probably needs to start a lot more slowly-- like on a walking program.

She needs help.. professional help-- probably in the form of a psychologist, a nutritionist and a private trainer.

It's wonderful that you're so concerned, but all you can do is be her friend. She needs you.
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  #41  
Old 07-19-2006, 11:47 AM
Rudey Rudey is offline
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Do any of you ladies know if I can get a Taco Bell Crunch Wrap supreme without the meat?

-Rudey
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  #42  
Old 07-19-2006, 11:49 AM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rudey
Do any of you ladies know if I can get a Taco Bell Crunch Wrap supreme without the meat?

-Rudey
Taco Bell has an "If we can make it, you can have it" policy. So, yes.
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  #43  
Old 07-19-2006, 11:49 AM
tunatartare tunatartare is offline
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I'm sure you could, but I don't think there's much point to doing that. Do you keep kosher?
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  #44  
Old 07-19-2006, 11:50 AM
Jimmy Choo Jimmy Choo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueangel
There's really nothing more you can do. Your friend obviously has problems that go a lot deeper than you're equipped to handle. She may have some psychological issues that need to be addressed professionally. Her weight might be "protecting" her from something-- such as having to deal with a man. (Maybe she was sexually abused as a child?)

And-- maybe exercising is too difficult for her. Remember.. when you're that obese, it can be extremely taxing on the heart and respiratory system. Maybe she needs to find a program specifically designed for someone with her problem. She probably needs to start a lot more slowly-- like on a walking program.

She needs help.. professional help-- probably in the form of a psychologist, a nutritionist and a private trainer.

It's wonderful that you're so concerned, but all you can do is be her friend. She needs you.
Well said!
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  #45  
Old 07-19-2006, 12:29 PM
Liberal_South Liberal_South is offline
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All you need to know is the coke and bourbon diet. glass of bourbon in the morning, a line at lunch, and another glass of bourbon at dinner. Garunteed to lose 10 pounds a week.

But seriously, if you're fat, use your messageboard time to go do something like go running, and then grille chicken all the time. Being fat is no way to go through life.
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