You Know You were Born/Raised "Black" When... - Page 3

AKA_Monet · #31 05-12-2007, 09:04 PM

For the food: How come my grandfather mixed his bacon, eggs and grits together in one pile on the plate? Then, how come my dad did it too? It's all goes down in one tube...

For the church service: Aside from the Miss Haynes who's 100, and sings some song no one can hear and rocks the mic for the chorus, how come as a child, you had to kiss all the elderly folks?

For family: How come my mother was the foremost authority on family decisions, caregiving for my grandmother and was the CEO-CFO of the household? Like, my dad had to give her his check and she gave him an allowance...

My dad: "I may the head, but yo mama's da neck, an you cain't do anythang without the neck..."

delph998 · #32 05-14-2007, 07:42 PM

^^ Hilarious. I think we can go on forever about this topic.

You know You Born/Raised Black when...

1. You've drank out of a jar instead of a cup or glass in your lifetime.

2. Church is jam packed on Easter Sunday.

3. That one deacon prays that same prayer every single Sunday!

n4sir5 · #33 05-14-2007, 10:48 PM

You know You Born/Raised Black when...

A fathers soothing words would start....

"CUT THAT CRYIN' OUT!"

TonyB... you remember the EDGE story....

finding out what the next hottest temperature beyond hell...

the room you had to sleep in while visiting your folks in the south during the summertime THEN finding out that AC meant wave your hand faster....Momma and nem had the Funeral Fans...

ooooooot

Live_Wire17 · #34 05-26-2007, 05:47 PM

You know you were raised black when...

You give your kids that "look" and they instantly know to DUCK.

AKA_blackbarbie · #35 05-26-2007, 09:44 PM

How about when your mom said these very famous words
" I put you in this world and I can take you out"
"Suck your teeth again and I will knock them down your throat"
"When we get in this store don't ask for nothing"
"For the nine months that I carried you"

Yall are sure bringing back memories

Steeltrap · #36 05-26-2007, 11:55 PM

Funny stuff, although not everything applied to me. My folks sort of bought into the integration Kool-Aid. But I do remember being spanked by MamaTrap when I was 6 or so because in a jealous fit, I called my nephew "a stupid dog."

Jill1228 · #37 05-27-2007, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_blackbarbie

How about when your mom said these very famous words
" I put you in this world and I can take you out"
"Suck your teeth again and I will knock them down your throat"
"When we get in this store don't ask for nothing"
"For the nine months that I carried you"

Yall are sure bringing back memories

Sistergirl, you ain't never lied! I read these and I hear my mom saying them!

How about getting that azz beat and your mom is expecting you to answer questions while she is beating you?
"Didn't (whap) I tell you (whap) not to do that (whap)? Why did (whap) you do that? (whap) (whap) (whap)? Answer me!" WTF?

delph998 · #38 05-27-2007, 07:18 PM

So true Jill!

You know you were born/raise black when you own a cast iron skillet!

SoEnchanting · #39 05-27-2007, 11:10 PM

Reminiscing about...
- Easter speeches
- Hair pressings with the comb on the stove or hot plate
- The "switch" bush in the backyard (Damn I used to hate having to get one)

Hmmm I'll have to think of some more later... This thread is hilarious!

Jill1228 · #40 05-28-2007, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoEnchanting

Reminiscing about...
- Hair pressings with the comb on the stove or hot plate
- The "switch" bush in the backyard (Damn I used to hate having to get one)

Hmmm I'll have to think of some more later... This thread is hilarious!

Oh yeah the hot comb...we all got our head burned up one time or the other.
"Why'd you jump?" Uh hello! That is an involuntary action, hon! And how many people went to school with burns on the ear or an "extra set of eyelashes"

And they were never happy with the switch you picked...they would come back with the whole tree trunk and whup ya

KAPPAtivating · #41 06-05-2007, 01:19 AM

...you know the meaning of the following:

"Who in the Hell left the gate open?"
"Little Birdie, you're free because I paid the price."
"No my brotha, you gotta get your own!"

Also, if anybody ever told you, "Y'all stop runnin' in and out my house! The air is on (or, "you lettin' flies in")!

AND...if your mama or grandmother made you "dress up" to go to the doctor or dentist (because they didn't want people to think you were poor)...maybe that was just us!

Okay...last one

...if you had "school clothes" and "play clothes"!

OneTimeSBX · #42 06-05-2007, 08:50 AM

did i miss anyone mentioning Kool-aid called by its color, not its flavor?

also, black jesus in a gold picture frame, at least one picture of a black baptism, the only funeral home you can ever think of is the one on the back of the church fan, "dont come runnin' to me if you fall and kill yourself", and licking your finger to rub the ash off your knee...dont even front like you didnt do that...

Grace&Mercy · #43 06-05-2007, 10:34 AM

...when you visit another church and you're surprised to find out that one song the choir sings every Sunday is really a medley of 5 different songs...or maybe that's just my church

...when you asked your daddy for something and he said "ask your mother", that's his way of saying NO.

...your mother had you helping out in the kitchen as soon as you learned to walk without falling on yourself. Those dishes won't wash themselves.

...if your cousin is more than 15 years older than you don't call them John, but Cousin John. First-name basis is not for your elders.

...you have that one relative that is really superstitious. If your left hand itches she's suddenly your best friend, 'cause that means you're coming into some money.

Sophist08edLady · #44 06-05-2007, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_blackbarbie

How about when your mom said these very famous words
" I put you in this world and I can take you out"
"Suck your teeth again and I will knock them down your throat"
"When we get in this store don't ask for nothing"
"For the nine months that I carried you"

Yall are sure bringing back memories

Other famous quotes from black mothers:

"I can show you better than I can tell you"
"If you roll your eyes again, I'm gonna knock 'em in the back of your head"
*For the Car* "Don't make me come back there"
"So if (fill in the blank) jumped off the bridge, you gonna do that too"
"I'm not (fill in the blank)'s mother" or otherwise stated as "I don't care what (fill in the blank) does at their house"

and the ever famous:
"If you live under my roof, you will follow my rules!"

TonyB06 · #45 06-05-2007, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sophist08edLady

"I'm not (fill in the blank)'s mother" or otherwise stated as "I don't care what (fill in the blank) does at their house"

and the ever famous:
"If you live under my roof, you will follow my rules!"

FLASHBACK!! FLASHBACK!!