Wedding Related: Bridesmaid Dresses - Page 3

adpiucf · #1 02-13-2006, 12:57 PM

You can tell her that you extended her courtesies when she was a bride, and if she won't extend you the same, out of fairness and fair play, that you are excusing yourself from your MOH duties and will sit with the family at the ceremony rather than stand up next to her during her vows.

You're still supporting her and sharing in her happy day, but if she won't make the same concessions that you were required to make in the same situation for her, then you will not participate as originally planned.

wrigley · #2 02-13-2006, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Marie
Wrigley, maybe we're just reading it differently.

Probably but hey it's all good.

Former bridesmaids, how soon did you have place an order for the lovely dress? Is it still six to eight months before the big day?

Marie · #3 02-13-2006, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
You can tell her that you extended her courtesies when she was a bride, and if she won't extend you the same, out of fairness and fair play, that you are excusing yourself from your MOH duties and will sit with the family at the ceremony rather than stand up next to her during her vows.

You're still supporting her and sharing in her happy day, but if she won't make the same concessions that you were required to make in the same situation for her, then you will not participate as originally planned.

See Leslie, this is what I'm concerned about. None of us know you or your sister. We're all just random, nameless, faceless folks w/opinions. I would be very hesitant to disrupt my relationship w/my sister off of the advice of someone who doesn't even know me (assuming that you don't know adpiucf). It may seem like a big deal to you now, but in retrospect are you really going to be pleased if you create bad blood w/your sister over a bride's maid dress? Are you really going to be happy if everytime either of you remembers this day, there are ill feelings there b/c you chose to sit out?

Also consider that given that this is her wedding, she's the one who will have to reflect on the event, look at the pics, and will really care about what was worn. I mean you probably won't care anything about your bride's maid dress a year from now, but she will. She'll care about everytime that she looks at her wedding pictures. Maybe for that reason alone you should work hard to come to a happy medium mw/her. I'm not saying give in totally, just don't be as hard nosed as some people are telling you to be.

XOMichelle · #4 03-06-2006, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LeslieAGD
I understand that she wants to keep the cost down for the other attendant, but the dress I like is not an expensive dress.

I am going to a wedding in 2 weeks and I am a bridesmaid. As the person who has the smallest income of the bridal party I really think keeping the cost down for attendants is a great idea. I went through a lot of tears before I got the courage to tell the bride that as a grad student I simply couldn't afford the dress she chose. if the other attendant can't afford the more expensive dress, offer to pay for some of it (since you don't seem to think it's expensive it shouldn't be too bad.).

ASUADPi · #5 03-07-2006, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wrigley
Probably but hey it's all good.

Former bridesmaids, how soon did you have place an order for the lovely dress? Is it still six to eight months before the big day?

Try 6-8 weeks in some cases.

When my friend got married in March of 02, we ordered our bridesmaids dresses literally like 8 weeks before the wedding. If even that long. We got them in about 2 weeks before the big day.

Now the wedding dress on the other hand is 6-9 months before the big day.

As for the bridesmaids picking the dress, that is what happened in the wedding I was in. My friend wanted this halter style dress with a poufy skirt. Although when we tried it on it did nothing for most of us. For me the bust was waaaayyyyy to big so altering would have been a major hassle and it made us look like we were 2 sizes bigger in the hips. We finally ended up with a strapless dress that worked well on me (size 10 in David's Bridal sizes) and our friend Tania (size 14, again DB sizes) and even the bride (who tried a 22 on b/c her sister and the other MOH were around that size). For my friend, she just realized that as much as she loved the other dress it just wasn't going to work when all of her attendants were very different sizes. We needed to find something that flattered all of us.

honeychile · #6 03-07-2006, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by wrigley
Probably but hey it's all good.

Former bridesmaids, how soon did you have place an order for the lovely dress? Is it still six to eight months before the big day?

At least five months, and tell the shop that the wedding is two weeks prior to when you really need it!

Quote:

Originally posted by XOMichelle
I am going to a wedding in 2 weeks and I am a bridesmaid. As the person who has the smallest income of the bridal party I really think keeping the cost down for attendants is a great idea. I went through a lot of tears before I got the courage to tell the bride that as a grad student I simply couldn't afford the dress she chose. If your sister can't, or you think she shouldn't keep the price down, offer to pay for some of the dress. Or, pick two dresses in the same color that will suit you both.

The most loved brides I've ever seen are
-those who either chose a color and let the bridesmaids select a dress that suits them in that color, or
-those who choose a dress from a catalog. I was shocked to see some of the really beautiful bridesmaid-type dresses available for under $100!!

GeekyPenguin · #7 03-07-2006, 11:01 AM

Our bride for the September wedding was awesome - 4/5 of us all got together with her and went to a wedding shop, the bride picked out about 25 dresses that she liked, and we decided which one we wanted.

adpiucf · #8 03-07-2006, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Marie
See Leslie, this is what I'm concerned about. None of us know you or your sister. We're all just random, nameless, faceless folks w/opinions. I would be very hesitant to disrupt my relationship w/my sister off of the advice of someone who doesn't even know me.

No disrespect intended, Marie, I do see your point and it a valid concern. At the the end of the day, it is her final decision to make. I can't imagine that she would pose the question to a group of random people with the intent to take the majority rule as her final opinion.

But in any case when someone is soliciting advice from strangers, I'd hope one would make the decision that best fits her situation. If it mattered enough to me, I would be hard nosed. If it didn't, it wouldn't be an issue.

And if the OP had already decided to passively let it go, I truly don't believe the issue of how to confront the sister would have even been posted on this board.

XOMichelle · #9 03-07-2006, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by honeychile
The most loved brides I've ever seen are
-those who either chose a color and let the bridesmaids select a dress that suits them in that color, or
-those who choose a dress from a catalog. I was shocked to see some of the really beautiful bridesmaid-type dresses available for under $100!!

Yeeeeahhh.... Got the dress today, and it's way too big in the waist, and a little too roomy in the bust. It really should have been a size smaller, but I got sent a big one because I guess that is how they do this business. They get your measurements and go up a size so you have to go find a seamstress. Really annoying.

Totally not worth the hassle or the product. My dress doesn't look like it cost $300, and it doesn't fit that way either. Total racket.

GeekyPenguin · #10 03-07-2006, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Yeeeeahhh.... Got the dress today, and it's way too big in the waist, and a little too roomy in the bust. It really should have been a size smaller, but I got sent a big one because I guess that is how they do this business. They get your measurements and go up a size so you have to go find a seamstress. Really annoying.

Totally not worth the hassle or the product. My dress doesn't look like it cost $300, and it doesn't fit that way either. Total racket.

Dresses are ridiculous in that regard - for my bf's wedding, we ordered these strapless dresses that flare out - and the lady at the bridal shop sized us to fit our HIPS - so we're all ordering 2 sizes bigger than we really are.

honeychile · #11 03-07-2006, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Dresses are ridiculous in that regard - for my bf's wedding, we ordered these strapless dresses that flare out - and the lady at the bridal shop sized us to fit our HIPS - so we're all ordering 2 sizes bigger than we really are.

When I ordered my wedding gown, the woman wanted me to order extra length, since I was "tall". I'm 5'6", not 6'!! I refused to do so, and it was a perfect length! I did, however, lose a lot of worrying weight from the time I ordered until the wedding, and the waist had to be taken in 8" - which turned my V neck into a plunging neckline! Hardly the demure look I was going for.

GeekyPenguin · #12 03-07-2006, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by honeychile
When I ordered my wedding gown, the woman wanted me to order extra length, since I was "tall". I'm 5'6", not 6'!! I refused to do so, and it was a perfect length! I did, however, lose a lot of worrying weight from the time I ordered until the wedding, and the waist had to be taken in 8" - which turned my V neck into a plunging neckline! Hardly the demure look I was going for.

I seriously think they are going to have to take a PANEL out of mine or something. Luckily it is easy to alter, I hope.

We're getting it in pink with a green sash (more specifically, grapefruit with lime. The junior bridesmaid is getting lime with a grapefruit sash.

CarolinaCutie · #13 03-10-2006, 04:43 PM

The dress for the wedding I'm in is very, very similar to that one, GP. It's pink with a white sash, and we're going with the knee-length instead of tea length.

And the lady at the bridal shop hates me and loves me at the same time. Extra money because I'm tall, AND extra money because my waist is thick and my hips are narrow and there's no way in hell this dress is ever gonna fit me right without some serious tailoring (oh yeah, more money).

The dress was expensive to begin with, and I don't even want to be in the damn wedding. No one ever even asked me would I be a bridesmaid, it was just assumed. I guess it's rude to turn down being in a wedding without a good reason but I just don't want the hassle for someone who I don't consider to be a close friend anymore.

I dread the shoes

GeekyPenguin · #14 03-10-2006, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CarolinaCutie
The dress for the wedding I'm in is very, very similar to that one, GP. It's pink with a white sash, and we're going with the knee-length instead of tea length.

And the lady at the bridal shop hates me and loves me at the same time. Extra money because I'm tall, AND extra money because my waist is thick and my hips are narrow and there's no way in hell this dress is ever gonna fit me right without some serious tailoring (oh yeah, more money).

The dress was expensive to begin with, and I don't even want to be in the damn wedding. No one ever even asked me would I be a bridesmaid, it was just assumed. I guess it's rude to turn down being in a wedding without a good reason but I just don't want the hassle for someone who I don't consider to be a close friend anymore.

I dread the shoes

It sucks that yours is expensive - ours is very inexpensive for a bridesmaid dress!

rhochi2002 · #15 03-10-2006, 09:27 PM

I am in my good friend's wedding next year. And she has been really accomadating. She has asked all the bridesmaids what they wanted every step of the way. Personally I will wear what ever she wants, as long as I can afford it. I think it's her big day so what ever I can do to make it perfect then I will.
She is wavering between having dresses made or doing a two piece with varying tops to compliment the different bridesmaids. Two of the girls are tall one is rail thin the other is average. I am short and alittle volumtous

and the other brides maid is average height and volumtous as well.
Her dress is gorgous... but I haven't seen it one... we live in different towns.