Weddings - Dollar Dance

[BetteDavisEyes]

My mom & family insist that I have one b/c it's tradition in our culture do have the money dance where both the bride & groom participate.
His mom thinks it's insulting & tacky that we ask for extra money. (We're different cultures & religions btw)

I agree with his mom but have bowed to my family on having one b/c I have many relatives coming & they are already telling me that they are excited to give us all this money for us to start our new lives together. I figure that it's 10 minutes out of my wedding that won't hurt me. If his side doesn't want to participate, it's completely optional & they are more than welcome to sit back eat, drink free booze, & not dance w/me or him.
The way it works cultural wise is that since these people are giving you gifts of money during the dance, if and when you get invited to a wedding they throw, you reciprocate by giving them money. It all works out.

F.Y.I. In our culture, it's very common for the bride & groom to receive upwards of $3000+ in cash gifts from these dances. That alone would be incentive enough for some people to have these dances but for me, I'm doing it to get a chance to dance & talk w/relatives I otherwise wouldn't get to spend much time with b/c you're busy during the wedding.

[EEKappa]

Before reading the whole thread, I would have said "tacky." But it sounds like it can be done tastefully with tradition in mind, so I'll change that to "it depends."

Having the groom go for the garter with the DJ playing "The Stripper" for background music would still rate "tacky" though.

But don't go by me... the girl who caught my bouquet lost the top of her strapless dress in the process. The wedding may have been in Louisiana, but I didn't want it to turn into Mardi Gras! *sigh*

[wrigley]

Wouldn't it just be easier to slip the cash in a card and put it in a mailbox of some sort on the gift table? You still get to dance with who you want. It's more discreet.

I've been to weddings with the dollar dance. It's still tacky to me. Live and let live.

The dancing bobble head people at a reception I have yet to see.

[GeekyPenguin]

No. Nono no nononononononononono.

For some reason this is an acceptable thing to do in the midwest. If you want to give me money, you can put it in the card. M

My boyfriend hates this too - basically we figure we didn't go to professional school to have people throw money at us.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
For some reason this is an acceptable thing to do in the midwest. If you want to give me money, you can put it in the card.

See, I'm from the midwest and only saw a dollar dance once. Chicago must be different -- we don't have cash bars either.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by valkyrie
See, I'm from the midwest and only saw a dollar dance once. Chicago must be different -- we don't have cash bars either.

I have a particular theory on what cultures it has invaded. I am glad at moments like dollar dances and cash bars that my mom is a FIB.

[valkyrie]

LOL. In terms the weddings of close family members I've attended, I can say that at least in my family, most of those old wedding traditions are no longer traditional.

[ISUKappa]

Originally posted by EEKappa
But don't go by me... the girl who caught my bouquet lost the top of her strapless dress in the process. The wedding may have been in Louisiana, but I didn't want it to turn into Mardi Gras! *sigh*

Oh my!

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes
My mom & family insist that I have one b/c it's tradition in our culture do have the money dance where both the bride & groom participate.
His mom thinks it's insulting & tacky that we ask for extra money. (We're different cultures & religions btw)

Everytime I hear dollar dance, I think of something else. See, all this is so brand new to me.

Maybe it's just the Filipino culture (and its Hispanic roots), but usually after the bride and groom's first dance, people line up with bills and place the money in either the bride or groom's mouth and then he/she passes it on to the other person by mouth. The second person then spits (for lack of a better word) it out and someone collects the money off the ground. People often get creative...placing the cash on the groom's neck, the bride's cleavage, etc etc. For hygenic purposes obviously more and more brides and grooms insist on putting the cash in little baggies that they provide to their guests before giving them the cash.

Filipinos call it Pasipit. It's tradition -- not a "OMG GIVE US MORE MONEY" THING. You can't go to a Filipino wedding without having it.

[BetteDavisEyes]

Thank You OTW! That's exactly how it is for Mexicans. You can't have a Mexican wedding without it. Though I'm not marrying a Mexican, it is still my cultures tradion. I'm not one to spit on tradition so I figure it won't kill me to do it.

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes
Thank You OTW! That's exactly how it is for Mexicans. You can't have a Mexican wedding without it. Though I'm not marrying a Mexican, it is still my cultures tradion. I'm not one to spit on tradition so I figure it won't kill me to do it.

If and when I do get married, I've already determined that I didn't want a Catholic wedding. That means I won't be doing the cord, the coins, the veil, and the candles either.

The money dance I wouldn't mind keeping, though.

[JenMarie]

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes
Thank You OTW! That's exactly how it is for Mexicans. You can't have a Mexican wedding without it. Though I'm not marrying a Mexican, it is still my cultures tradion. I'm not one to spit on tradition so I figure it won't kill me to do it.

Ah... that makes sense. My co-worker's in-laws are Mexican. That would explain the tradition thing and why I've never seen my relatives participate in one.

[LightBulb]

About half weddings the weddings I've been to recently had the dollar dance. Everybody thought it was cute!

(This was in Memphis.)

[BetteDavisEyes]

Originally posted by OTW
If and when I do get married, I've already determined that I didn't want a Catholic wedding. That means I won't be doing the cord, the coins, the veil, and the candles either.

The money dance I wouldn't mind keeping, though.

Yup. Since he's Mormon & I'm Catholic, neither of us felt comfortable holding a religious ceremony but we didn't want an interfaith one either so we're going to get married by a judge in a garden at the reception site. My mom had a fit about that as well as his but it wasn't their decision to make. My mom was upset b/c the cord & veil are family heirlooms but all my older sisters have eloped so I was her hope. Oh well. I still have a younger sister so maybe she'll get her wish one day.

[JenMarie]

I guess I'll have to pay attention at these next couple weddings I go to. All of them are Catholic ceremonies... but I don't remember a chord or coins in the ceremony.