Let's Talk About the AI Forum

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by adpiucf
I think the best use for this forum is to help connect PNAM's to local alumnae. The local members are the ones who would impact your day-to-day sorority experience... so start at the local level.

I agree.

[Sister Havana]

I noticed there are no current PNAMs posting in this thread. Let me be the first...here are my thoughts on the forum.

I think it is useful to read about everyone's different backgrounds and reasons for pursuing alum initiation. (Yes, I am nosy that way. ) I follow the stories but they don't make me think that AI is easy to do or anything like that. Far from it...a lot of the threads provide a reality check that it is a long process and it's not always going to be sunshine and roses and red carpets. (I'm thinking of navane's thread and adduncan's thread and LouisaMay's thread in particular, but there are others.) I like reading the happy endings, just like I like reading the happy endings to the rush stories. But there are a lot more threads that are unfinished or without the best of endings and those are important to keep in mind as well...again with the reality check.

I had been a pretty active member of GC for several months before I outed myself on here as a PNAM. (And people who read my LJ know it was something I was tossing around for a while before I decided to pursue it.) Why did I post at all? One simple reason: I wanted to have a place to talk about it with people who don't think I'm nuts because I'm over 30 and want to do this. I have PMed people, sure, but the people I've PMed are the ones who have offered help or advice and/or PMed me first. For something like this that's as it should be.

Obviously I don't want this subforum to go away. I think iastategal's ideas are good and there have been loads of other valid points raised in this thread as well.

(Forgive me if this seems a bit disjointed. I'm at work and doing this kind of off the top of my head)

[SFHopefull!]

,,,,

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by adpiucf
I've edited this post because I am in favor of deleting the forum. I don't think that a message board is the appropriate forum for an "official" representative of a sorority's AI to promote the program-- but I do think it is important to talk about AI.

Agreed. I really think that there should be more discretion in how AI is discussed on GC--it amazes me that more 18 year-olds have their act together in regards to joining a sorority than many 36 year-olds.

[blueangel]

Good post, Sister Havana. I agree totally. This forum helped me so much. It provided me with some encouraging stories while riding the three year PNAM roller coaster. I didn't know that it was common for AI to take that long... but once I read some of the stories, I realized that it did.

This forum also provided me with a wonderful contact. I PM'd two AIs, and one was kind enough to answer. She put me in touch with someone who was an absolute wealth of information about the process.. and then she in turn, put me on to a member of ZTA who was able to find out where the ball was dropped and get things moving again for me.

It's easy for people who have never gone through AI to Monday morning quarterback. Remember that when you went through rush (as did I a long, long time ago) everything was explained to you. You had someone to go to if you had any questions. In some GLOs you don't have that in AI. (Although in some you do!)

When I was going through the process, I often wondered if I should keep contacting the district officer and the Alumnae Chapter.. or if it would be perceived as being "pushy." Fortunately, I had someone who went through it already from this forum who encouraged me to keep writing, and keep asking.

I think this forum is wonderful. And, I'd be more than happy to help anyone interested in the AI process. If there is a list of people to contact, please put me on the list.

[LouisaMay]

For me, posting on my AI thread has been like keeping a journal. I don't care if I get a response to every message; I just enjoy keeping a record of my experience, and I appreciate the encouragment that I receive. Like Sister Havana mentioned, it is nice to read about the diversity among the AI hopefuls and AI successes. It is also fun to notice the similarities.

I would be very sad to see the AI sub-forum go. I think instead of debating whether or not the forum should exist, individual GC members need to decide for themselves how much or how little they feel comfortable contributing. If you are an alumna who doesn't feel right about directing potential AIs, simply do not post. If you are approached in a PM but you do not wish to participate, politely explain your stance and wish the GC-er a meaningful experience. Perhaps, another general statement that could be made would read something like this: "The initiation of alumni into Greek organizations is a sensitive issue. Individuals may or may not wish to offer specific advice due to personal convictions or national policies." (Looking back at the earlier posts, I now see that this general sentiment was already stated. Here is another potential wording.)

When the AI discussions really began to take off on GC (a few years ago), PNAIs were kindly advised to be cautious and discrete. We were advised to stay tight-lipped about names of organizations, and we were reminded that many GC alums were very active in their organizations so our words/actions could have very real impacts upon organizations' impressions of us. It seems to me that the "regular" PNAIs on here took this advice respectfully and with gratitude since in a lot of ways we are outsiders looking in. It seems that alumni should be able to remain as silent or as vocal as they wish as well.

Deleting the subforum will do nothing but clutter the general Alumni forum. I highly doubt that Greekchatters will just stop discussing the issue of AI.

LM

P.S. I agree with what adpiucf had to say about "official" representation, but I do believe that the majority of serious PNAIs understand that nothing that happens on a public messageboard could possibly be "official." This is nothing more than a discussion and a sounding board.