My son is going to flunk 1st grade

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by Rudey
So you're saying her son is retarded??

-Rudey

Thats what I got from her post, too.


Unless the kid is a retard and is mentally disabled severely, he doesnt need all this testing most of you are saying he needs. Thats whats wrong with those little fuckers today, they're used to their mommies and doctors telling them something is wrong with them constantly and sooner or later they start believing that crap and it becomes manifest in their lives. If everyone got tested for everything people say get tested for and are then treated, doctors would be the most wealthiest/powerful people on the planet.

[AGDee]

Educated people should realize that learning disabilities are in no way correlated to IQ level. People with learning disabilities have brains which process some types of sensory stimuli in a different way, making it difficult for them to learn a particular skill in the manner that it's typically taught in a classroom. With early intervention and accomodation techniques, they adjust. Schools are mandated to intervene and make those accomodations.

Dee

[BBelleADPi]

Wendi-As a former teacher with three degrees in Education, I agree with the advice given by Dee about the Special Education testing. They will be able to find out if he has a type of learning disability, and it IS a long process. On another note, I am upset about the way this was handled-a note? A note written in MARCH? You should have been notified and forewarned by several conferences way before this point, so that you could do what you are doing now. I feel the school principal needs to be aware of how the teacher handled this. If not now, for fear of teacher retribution, then at the end of the school year. There is NO excuse for that lack of communication.

[lonestaradpi]

I'm a current first grade teacher. I have been teaching for 7 years and have retained a few children. I have tons of advice, but not a lot of time right now! Please PM me and I can try to help you.
Aimee

[cashmoney]

Sounds to me like you guys are wanting her to find some learning disability issue with her son. Everyone has something wrong them, does that mean everyone should get massive testing done that will probably be long and drawn out? Do any of you realize that it could be a small matter that could easily be corrected without the advice/help of doctors? Doctors arent going to tell you nothing is wrong with your child or else they dont get paid. They get paid to find something wrong with your kid and, in many cases, if there isnt anything wrong they usually make up something or intentionally find something wrong with your kid so you can spend more money on tests and procedures. And what about the son here? What is probably a small issue that could be corrected with the help of both parents could easily turn around and become something much much worse. If the kid keeps having people tell him something is wrong with him then he's eventually going to believe it and end up with all sorts of problems. I know this first hand because it's been done to two cousins of mine (boht males) by an aunt who thinks something is wrong with her kids because doctors and my grandmother keep telling her something is wrong but they're not sure what it is. They say both of them are a little slow and they're always needing tests doen on them. Its gotten so bad to the point where one of them now has gashes on his head from where they did "tests". Its ironic, though. Everytime they go and see my parents they act totally normal and different than when they are with their mom and dad. They don't act sick, dumb, slow or anything. This has led my immediate family and I to believe its an attention issue, not a thinking disorder. Something was wrong in the family life and it affected the kids and eventually it ended up to other people thinking something is wrong with them. Its out-right sick and enrages me, my brother and my parents that both of them are being put through all this crap and the whole family thinks they're both a little slow when they're really not. We realize that my aunt is a shitty parent who has been married 5 times now and its now affected them to the point where they had problems in school and now everyone thinks they're mentally handicapped to some degree. I spent a couple hours with them both not to long ago along with my borther and both of them were fine. But as soon as they got back around their mother and her husband....they acted completely different.

I'm not saying this is the issue with wendi, not saying it's a possibility she's a bad parent. But what I am saying is that maybe the boy isnt getting something from one of the two parents that he needs or maybe there are some problems in the home that have affected him and its showing up in school. All I'm asking, wendi, is that before you go and get this testing done (since you've already did the extra help stuff you mentioned) talk to him about other things and find out if anything in his home-life is bothering him. Asking him if everything is ok. Obviously he's afraid of something or doesnt feel that he can come talk to you because he was so late in bringing that notice to you. Its apparent that he feels like he can't come to you about everything otherwise you would have seen that note a lot sooner. The boy is in first grade, he's too young to feel stupid talking to his mom about anything....so there might be deeper issues. To give you an example, when I was about his age I did shit that would get attention and I didnt realize thats what I was doing. When I'd get bit by a bug or scrapped while playing, after a scab would form I'd pick it off. It would piss my parents off to no end. My mother thought something was wrong with me, my dad didnt understand why I wouldnt quit. Eventually, after seeing a guidence counselor, they found out I did it because of attention and issues in the home life. I didnt have some sort of illness or mental problem like some people thought. It was suggested that my parents pay me 5$ for every week I didnt pick a sore when i'd get injured or bitten by a bug and within a 2 months I didnt do it anymore. That and the homelife changed, my dad stopped being so hard on me for every little thing I did wrong. After that things were fine. Why don't you suggest to your son that every time he does well in his reading you'll treat him. If you can't afford paying him to get over this try treating him to his favorite dinner or take him somewhere he likes to go, maybe even the zoo. All that testing should be the last resort...it's the worse thing a kid can go through and often times it leads to more problems and the kid will grow up thinking somethign is always wrong with him and that he isnt normal. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to know that isnt good for a child at all.

Cashmoney

[Optimist Prime]

as someone who went through the testing, I agree wholeheartedly with cashmoney

[cash78mere]

as a teacher for 5 years i have some different opinions.

first off, none of us know your son so please don't listen if people say "oh he doesn't need retention" or whatever. get involved with your son's teacher and do what's best for HIM. some students DO need retention, and the only right time to do it is usually kindergarten or first. never later.

second, sylvan's "edge" is that they test your son a FULL YEAR below where he really is. then when he makes all this "progress" your son seems like he really improved when he's really where he needs to be.

third, i'm a reading specialist and i charge $65 an hour. unfortunately if you want a qualified person who can make a major improvement in your son, you need to pay a premium. honestly, high schoolers have no idea how to do anything but help with homework. college reading majors can probably help and won't be as expensive. if your child really needs major help, pay for the one-on-one tutor. if you get a good one, she's worth it. ask for references and recommendations.

fourth, i know that i am REQUIRED to send a "FYI" home to parents about retention based on certain requirements but for most of them i would never even CONSIDER it. it's just a technicality and unfortunately makes some parents freak. i don't want to do it, but have to. look into it.

fifth, meet with the teacher BEFORE you meet with the principal. the principal will probably have no clue about the history of your child. if the teacher is being difficult and won't talk to you (not the next day, rather if she continues to put you off for a week) then call the principal. DO NOT CONTACT DISTRICT ADMINISTRATION. they know nothing about specific children.

sixth, with regards to special ed (i teach in a blended/inclusion classroom) it's 30 CLASSROOM days, which is over 3 months. don't expect anything to happen this school year. honestly. but it doesn't hurt to look into things. ask the school psychologist how to begin the process.

it really doesn't seem weird to me that now is when you'd be hearing about retention. i know i am not ALLOWED to say anything about next year before may. nothing at all! crazy i know, but those are my rules. it sucks.

best of luck to you and your son. please PM me if you need anything or have any questions.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
as someone who went through the testing, I agree wholeheartedly with cashmoney

Yea, no shit man. That crap sucks and more often than not the kid doesnt even need the testing. All thats needed is some serious time invested with the kid with BOTH parents involved.

[AGDee]

Actually, the testing I'm talking about is done by a psychologist, not a medical doctor and it involves doing puzzles, math, answering questions verbally. Typically, if a child is having emotional reactions to a stressful situation, they would perform poorly in all areas of education, not just in reading. Wendi said that he is doing well in math and that his verbal skills are good, he is just having trouble with reading. I agree that ADHD is WAY overdiagnosed, but that isn't what I'm talking about here. We all have things that we don't do well. I can't carry a tune in a bucket. My eye/hand coordination isn't very good so I'm not good at things like ping pong, tennis or hitting a baseball. Lucky for me, these aren't necessary life skills so I don't bother doing anything about it. With the right activities and some adaptations, I may be able to do them. When the skill that someone has trouble with is reading, it will affect their whole lives. Children are perceptive and realize that other kids are doing things that they can't do, which can also cause a lot of stress. All I was suggesting is that they do the tests to find out if there is a learning disability. It could also just be that he's really good at math and is focusing on that and not putting his efforts toward learning to read because it's boring or something. It won't hurt to find out though. I'm not talking about medicating the child or doing invasive medical tests. I'm talking about IQ testing combined with achievement tests. When there are abnormally large differences between IQ subtests or a big difference between IQ and achievement, they can use that information to figure out how to help him learn to read. If he is with his class developmentally in every other way, holding him back may not be the best idea. He could be able to stay with his class and just get some extra help on the side from the special ed teacher. When kids need help with speech, they go to the speech pathologist. If they need help with reading, they might need to go to the special ed teacher for a little time each week.

Dee

[Optimist Prime]

I know what kind of tests you are talking about, they are hell. He might not realize everything about them but later on he will. If you decide to test him then please realize he will need lots of extra love and attention during the process.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by AGDee
Actually, the testing I'm talking about is done by a psychologist, not a medical doctor and it involves doing puzzles, math, answering questions verbally.

I understood what you meant, and I don't think it'd be a bad idea, myself. I wish someone had thought to test me in math when I was younger, because I've always had major trouble with even the simplest mathematical concepts despite the fact that I always went to class, did my homework, etc. I managed to struggle through college algebra with a decent grade (thanks to a lot of extra credit), but now that I'm preparing for the GRE I'm realizing how little I remember out of the very little I ever knew in the first place. I think it's important to catch these problems as early as possible, because it really does make things difficult in the long run if you don't.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
I understood what you meant, and I don't think it'd be a bad idea, myself. I wish someone had thought to test me in math when I was younger, because I've always had major trouble with even the simplest mathematical concepts despite the fact that I always went to class, did my homework, etc. I managed to struggle through college algebra with a decent grade (thanks to a lot of extra credit), but now that I'm preparing for the GRE I'm realizing how little I remember out of the very little I ever knew in the first place. I think it's important to catch these problems as early as possible, because it really does make things difficult in the long run if you don't.

I agree. I can't believe some of the responses I'm reading in this thread. If it wasn't for testing, I would probably be flipping burgers right now. When I was younger, I did so bad in school. I did super bad in the beginning of 8th grade. So they ran some tests and they found out that I had trouble because I had a STRONG visual and kinesthetic learning style. I think almost all in pictures. I also learn well by doing. But, I'm a horrible auditory learner. Guess which way I was being taught in class? Mostly in lectures. They taught me how to visualize information. It helped, and since then I've been doing pretty good in school.

[33girl]

I understand where Craig is coming from - a lot of times people would sooner slap the special ed label on the kid, get the extra funding and be done rather than try to figure out the problem. It happens a lot and especially with boys.

Wendi - this sounds so elementary, but what is he interested in? What are they reading in class? Do the two have ANYTHING in common? I always think about this kid I grew up with who got held back - his classwork wasn't up to par, but meanwhile, he was reading these 2 inch thick books on World War II that had to be far above his grade level. He could have probably rattled off every battle fought in the European theater. He wasn't stupid, he just had home life issues and didn't feel secure enough to say "I don't want to read about Jane and the lemonade stand. That isht is stupid."

If what they are reading in class and reading recovery isn't something he's interested in, he's probably not going to make progress because he could care less. That's not to say he's not motivated - many adults are the same way.

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Look into getting your son tested. He is in a good position now, because now the school is required to test children. When I was in 1st/2nd grade I had such issues with math- my mom who is a teacher wanted my tested and it was back when you couldn't be "smart" and have a learning disability. So the district refused to do any tests.

It continued alll the way up to college. I had a panic attack during a calc exam and the college made me see a psyhologist. Turns out, I have Dyscalculia ("number dyslexia"). The whole time I've been struggling and crying my way through math classes, and been fine in all my sciences (well, excpet chem 1 and physics), english, history, etc. I thought I was stupid growing up and it wasn't my fault at all.

Get him tested early so you can see what you are dealing with!!!!

[cashmoney]

I'd just like to point out one important fact here....


All these people saying "get your son tested" are all females who obviously never were a little boy in the 1st grade who had these problems. Its kind of funny how the two guys here telling you what you ought to do, who have been through this stuff personally, are the only ones telling you not to do it and rather spend more time with him yourself along with your husband and fix the actual problem.




I was under the impression only a couple people in this thread had a penis. Valkyrie is questionable, but I hope the rest have vaginas. I think we know wtf we're talking about when we say don't get him tested unless all other routes have been tried. Women telling a woman what to do with her son in regards to how young boys think/act is about as stupid as me giving a 12 year old girl advice as to which is better-the tampon or the pad?