Rain Man: Owner of a Lonely Heart/Countdown To Matrimony

[SKEEphistAKAte]

J/K- Rain Man, there is someone for everyone. Good luck.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Rain Man
I know that I am in my season for finding a wife; it has been mentioned to me quite frequently over the last few weeks.

All I can say now is that 2005 will be the year that I will reap the harvest and partake of the fruits of God's labor.

So you've got it like that? I dunno Rainman, I just finished reading "So I Kissed Dating, Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. It is a Christian based perspective on singleness and patiently waiting on God's promise on marriage...

I just want you to be very careful with "the one" that you perceive is sent to you... While I find you extremely witty, intelligent and have a lot going for yourself in many, many departments, I also find you a bit naive with the repartee and rapport of whooing and bedazzling the "God chosen woman"...

Yeah, you might meet her at Church and I sure hope you do... But, I am unsure if that is what you really truly desire and even if you convince yourself with all your effort that "that woman" is the woman that "God sent to you"... Well, sweetheart... I just think...

Lemme put it to you this way, could you love a "Mary Magdelene" after she repented and broke the bottle on Jesus' feet and wiped His feet with her tears? Would that be a problem for you in your God-sent love of your life?

Also, you do not FIND a wife--God sends you to her by directing your path... Are you hearing Him?

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
So you've got it like that? I dunno Rainman, I just finished reading "So I Kissed Dating, Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. It is a Christian based perspective on singleness and patiently waiting on God's promise on marriage...

I have a copy of it..bought it 5 years ago. EXCELLENT book (an updated "2nd edition" was published last year). Check out the sequel: Boy Meets Girl which talks about courtship and how God used Joshua in his courtship with his wife Shannon. Also highly recommended.

I just want you to be very careful with "the one" that you perceive is sent to you... While I find you extremely witty, intelligent and have a lot going for yourself in many, many departments, I also find you a bit naive with the repartee and rapport of whooing and bedazzling the "God chosen woman"...

How am I naive? Please elaborate...

Yeah, you might meet her at Church and I sure hope you do... But, I am unsure if that is what you really truly desire and even if you convince yourself with all your effort that "that woman" is the woman that "God sent to you"... Well, sweetheart... I just think...

Lemme put it to you this way, could you love a "Mary Magdelene" after she repented and broke the bottle on Jesus' feet and wiped His feet with her tears? Would that be a problem for you in your God-sent love of your life?

I kinda get what you are saying, but exactly what kind of woman I am really truly desiring...I'm sort of confused by what you are trying to convey to me.

Also, you do not FIND a wife--God sends you to her by directing your path... Are you hearing Him?

YES! I have been in deep prayer with Him every day and/or night this week. I am just waiting for Him to reveal and direct my path(s).

ETA: My pastor, Apostle Eric Warren, prophesied (sp?) to my congregation on New Year's that 2005 will be a year of harvest for the congregation; we will only need to stay in prayer and to not lose faith.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Rain Man
I kinda get what you are saying, but exactly what kind of woman I am really truly desiring...I'm sort of confused by what you are trying to convey to me.

YES! I have been in deep prayer with Him every day and/or night this week. I am just waiting for Him to reveal and direct my path(s).

ETA: My pastor, Apostle Eric Warren, prophesied (sp?) to my congregation on New Year's that 2005 will be a year of harvest for the congregation; we will only need to stay in prayer and to not lose faith.

Based on your past comments regarding the type of women you would have some adjustments for, i.e. the next top model you said you liked, I think you may have a few misconceptions of what might be involved in a marriage--something that marriage enrichment can enhance... And marriage enrichment information is abound throughout the internet if you just Google...

I do not take you for being a "dawg", "playa", "pimp" or have pimped the "scene" too much--because honestly, one has to have A LOT of extramarital sex in order to do that and you cain't be coming across THAT WAY... Especially since you are so entrenched in the Gospel, which is fine (no problemo), however, it does leave you rather naive or shall I say, "open" to the temptations regarding the matters of love and marriage...

Should you lessen your knowledge and love for the Gospel, NO!!! Definitely NOT!!! That is your GREATEST ASSET OF ALL!!! Devotion to Christ!!! Bless you, always...

And I am just concerned about getting your hopes up for "things" based on your descriptions of what you desire in a woman that you'd want as a wife, that well, sweetheart, it is a tad bit unrealistic...

Lemme put it to you like this, I know and understand that you pray often for God to reveal and direct your path(s)... And as in matters of the heart, say you have read Harris' book, the heart does some misguiding and can override your logic and your mind... As you may be aware and probably have had some experiences already, desiring marriage and going from the heart can open you up to an attack from principalities that are not in your best interests...

Since you are trying to not be of the "world", then you have to remember that not all women you encounter, especially in church, are at your same level... That in fact, the woman you most desire, and is the most compatible for you and possibly be the one that God is directing to you might also be a "unbeliever", which may be your "path" to "convert"... You had indicated you like "foreign" women... What does The Bible say about King Solomon and "being equally yoked"... May be you have already considered that a possibility... I dunno... I can only go by your posts...

So the best thing to pray for is asking Christ for the strength while opening your eyes to see your path(s) in affairs of the heart and marriage... May be you do this already... And I am only going what you have posted on this topic...

Am I making any sense?

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Based on your past comments regarding the type of women you would have some adjustments for, i.e. the next top model you said you liked, I think you may have a few misconceptions of what might be involved in a marriage--something that marriage enrichment can enhance... And marriage enrichment information is abound throughout the internet if you just Google...

OHHHHH, THAT! (read: the adjustments for the next top model). I was just being silly and jovial with that remark. I do not have a problem with making adjustments for any woman who is "the one" for me. I was just using Toccara Jones as an example of my Achilles heel as far as "eye candy" goes; in other words, Toccara is so fine, I would drink 10 gallons of her bath water (read: do anything for her b/c of her external beauty). Hope that makes better sense--but I was just kidding around; I do have a good idea of what makes a marriage last.

I do not take you for being a "dawg", "playa", "pimp" or have pimped the "scene" too much--because honestly, one has to have A LOT of extramarital sex in order to do that and you cain't be coming across THAT WAY... Especially since you are so entrenched in the Gospel, which is fine (no problemo), however, it does leave you rather naive or shall I say, "open" to the temptations regarding the matters of love and marriage...

What temptations?

Should you lessen your knowledge and love for the Gospel, NO!!! Definitely NOT!!! That is your GREATEST ASSET OF ALL!!! Devotion to Christ!!! Bless you, always...

Thank you.

I am just concerned about getting your hopes up for "things" based on your descriptions of what you desire in a woman that you'd want as a wife, that well, sweetheart, it is a tad bit unrealistic...

Again, the whole Tocarra thing was strictly for laughs. While I do require some sense of physical and sexual attration in a woman, I do know some Plain Janes who's mental and spirtual beauty is so radiant, it can make them a Miss America candidate

Lemme put it to you like this, I know and understand that you pray often for God to reveal and direct your path(s)... And as in matters of the heart, say you have read Harris' book, the heart does some misguiding and can override your logic and your mind... As you may be aware and probably have had some experiences already, desiring marriage and going from the heart can open you up to an attack from principalities that are not in your best interests...

True, true...

Since you are trying to not be of the "world", then you have to remember that not all women you encounter, especially in church, are at your same level... That in fact, the woman you most desire, and is the most compatible for you and possibly be the one that God is directing to you might also be a "unbeliever", which may be your "path" to "convert"... You had indicated you like "foreign" women... What does The Bible say about King Solomon and "being equally yoked"... May be you have already considered that a possibility... I dunno... I can only go by your posts...

Actually, foreign women like me moreso that me liking them. But I understand your overall point.

So the best thing to pray for is asking Christ for the strength while opening your eyes to see your path(s) in affairs of the heart and marriage... May be you do this already... And I am only going what you have posted on this topic...

Am I making any sense?

A little more so now. Sounds like you are saying, "Be prepared for whomever God sends my way, be she unsaved, a little less attractive physically, etc."

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Rain Man
A little more so now. Sounds like you are saying, "Be prepared for whomever God sends my way, be she unsaved, a little less attractive physically, etc."

You would truly be blessed by God if He sent you one with all the attributes you desire... I hope you do get that... And do you think that you could "SETTLE" for your top 1 or 2 attributes you need the most?

Because I can tell you, marriage is still about some "settling"... My husband is not my dream date... He is the man in my dreams... And he was a "paradigm shift" as to what I wanted vs. what God said was the one for me... Moreover, it took an Act of God to even look as this man before I started courting him...

So could you take a few of your desired attributes from the woman that God sent to you?

And now we are about to get into a Biblical philosophical discussion. It may require some chapter and verse.

How do you explain Hosea's circumstances... His wife philandered... And don't go into the fact that is "wife" was suppose to symbolize "the Children of Israel", etc. Just the basic premise...

And then, what about Mary Magdelene before she was about to get stoned and before she met Christ?

That may be the type of woman that God has ordained for you... Could you handle that?

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
You would truly be blessed by God if He sent you one with all the attributes you desire... I hope you do get that... And do you think that you could "SETTLE" for your top 1 or 2 attributes you need the most?

Because I can tell you, marriage is still about some "settling"... My husband is not my dream date... He is the man in my dreams... And he was a "paradigm shift" as to what I wanted vs. what God said was the one for me... Moreover, it took an Act of God to even look as this man before I started courting him...

So could you take a few of your desired attributes from the woman that God sent to you?

And now we are about to get into a Biblical philosophical discussion. It may require some chapter and verse.

How do you explain Hosea's circumstances... His wife philandered... And don't go into the fact that is "wife" was suppose to symbolize "the Children of Israel", etc. Just the basic premise...

And then, what about Mary Magdelene before she was about to get stoned and before she met Christ?

That may be the type of woman that God has ordained for you... Could you handle that?

Seeing some of the issues-filled women that came into my life (and all of them were rather unique characters), I pretty much prepared myself to handle anything God sent my way.

But again: what temptations would I be subjecting myself to (see my previous post)?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Rain Man
But again: what temptations would I be subjecting myself to (see my previous post)?

How badly do you want to be married? I don't know that and you don't have to tell me. But, most men that I know of, when they get ready to be married, it is within 2-5 months after they make that decision that they meet their fiancee, soon to be their wife...

Some women, who are not of the Spirit, prey on nice guys like you. May be you are able to handle it, I dunno. And without going into the sordid details of your past situations, it does seem that your past girlfriends are not as altruistic as you desired them to be. That means either they weren't that way to begin with or you ain't picking the right ones or both... Which essentially means that you MUST have your heart directed by God moreso now if you desire a wife... These women are temptuous to say the least... If it is too perfect, stand back and rethink...

So, in that case, you are really gonna haveta know yourself and why your past relationships failed and the part you place into them before God can present your future wife into your life. I am not saying you are not ready, because you are... I am saying that you might get a bit entrenched in the searching and the acquisition, rather than the sustenance of the marriage... Like you might overlook some personal facts about yourself or her that you might be unable to deal with after the marriage...

And yeah, it is easy to walk away... And a strong faith in God will not stop you... But making the "COVENANT" before God, your wife and yourself, will make you rethink your position in leaving...

I am basically saying, the more expensive the wedding, the quicker the divorce...

And Secret Marriage Vows last forever...

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
How badly do you want to be married? I don't know that and you don't have to tell me. But, most men that I know of, when they get ready to be married, it is within 2-5 months after they make that decision that they meet their fiancee, soon to be their wife...

Some women, who are not of the Spirit, prey on nice guys like you. May be you are able to handle it, I dunno. And without going into the sordid details of your past situations, it does seem that your past girlfriends are not as altruistic as you desired them to be. That means either they weren't that way to begin with or you ain't picking the right ones or both... Which essentially means that you MUST have your heart directed by God moreso now if you desire a wife... These women are temptuous to say the least... If it is too perfect, stand back and rethink...

So, in that case, you are really gonna haveta know yourself and why your past relationships failed and the part you place into them before God can present your future wife into your life. I am not saying you are not ready, because you are... I am saying that you might get a bit entrenched in the searching and the acquisition, rather than the sustenance of the marriage... Like you might overlook some personal facts about yourself or her that you might be unable to deal with after the marriage...

And yeah, it is easy to walk away... And a strong faith in God will not stop you... But making the "COVENANT" before God, your wife and yourself, will make you rethink your position in leaving...

I am basically saying, the more expensive the wedding, the quicker the divorce...

And Secret Marriage Vows last forever...

OK, gotcha! I am aware of that (women who might prey on me), and I am more on my guard now more than ever to prevent that from happening. In addition, my church congregation is very tight-knit and spares no expense to make sure its members aren't subjecting themselves to any "demonic influences", and if so, the issue(s) are addressed immediately upon detection.

But that's a very good point, nonetheless.

Good looking out, AKAMonet

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Rain Man
OK, gotcha! I am aware of that (women who might prey on me), and I am more on my guard now more than ever to prevent that from happening. In addition, my church congregation is very tight-knit and spares no expense to make sure its members aren't subjecting themselves to any "demonic influences", and if so, the issue(s) are addressed immediately upon detection.

But that's a very good point, nonetheless.

Good looking out, AKAMonet

Even if your guard somehow is lowered when you think you met the "one" God has sent to you, but they are actually not, please do not feel you have failed...

I thought 5 years ago, that I met the love of my life... He was the one... But it turned out he did not love me nor wanted to get married... That was a hard lesson to swallow... I in fact thought he was sent by God, he was my angel. I was wrapped up in the whole glimmer of the idea of marriage... But he was not.

Now, for my husband and I, before we got married, we both prayed alot before our decision to get married in the manner that we did. There was no fanfare, no rice, no parents, nothing. But that is what we did. It turns out to be one of the best decisions of my life. That's how I know that God directed this man into my life--hopefully till death do we part, if that (but that's another topic)...

Hopefully your are correct in your Church looking out for demonic influences on your life... However, this path you want is walking, lonesome "in the valley of the shadow of death..."