Death this morning at OU - Page 3

Tom Earp · #1 10-01-2004, 05:27 PM

navane, I think you are totally right, dont just feel sorry for the Member, Members, Fraternity/Soroity, and Family.

Dammit, just do something about it. How long does it take for Greeks to understand that death, feeling saddened and getting closed to come to the realization. This is wrong!

No matter what, it cost Greeks not only Rish Management Insurance, but Members and Chapters.

Please, Please, use some good judgement and remember, these are our Interfraternal Brothers and Sisters.

OleMissGlitter · #2 10-01-2004, 05:34 PM

I am very sorry to hear about this tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with the Sigma Chi brothers and this young man's family and friends. I will make sure the Eta chapter here of Sigma Chi knows to prayer for this tradegy.

TSteven · #3 10-01-2004, 07:51 PM

SIGMA CHI MOURNS TRAGIC DEATH

Quote:

Sigma Chi takes a very hard line on alcohol abuse. We have suspended and sanctioned chapters for infractions far less serious than those alleged in this case. To make it clear, our policies state that:

~The illegal possession, sale or distribution of alcohol at a chapter house or during a fraternity function is prohibited. This means that all chapter members, collectively or individually, are prohibited from purchasing, selling or serving alcohol to any person under the legal drinking age.

~Our chapters are prohibited from hosting an open social function where alcohol is present.

~Under no circumstances shall alcohol be served to any member or pledge in connection with any aspect of the pledge education program.

A preliminary investigation suggests these policies were violated in the Beta Kappa chapter house. If verified, the chapter—which we suspended on Thursday—will not be reactivated any time soon.

IvySpice · #4 10-01-2004, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Because I would be MORTIFIED if I threw up in front of other people

Thank you! Word to you and to DeltAlum for pointing out that there's one hell of a way to change this behavior -- socially stigmatize it. When kids feel shame in front of our peers, we stop. Collegians, roll your eyes in disgust when someone brags about not remembering the night before. The idiot who pisses himself at the party should be ridiculed in the cafeteria the next day. Break up with that fool who stumbled into the bushes on your date and tell the whole campus why you did. And hell yes, wake up your shadows-of-death hungover brother at 8 a.m. sharp to scrub away his own puke with an old toothbrush. Treat them like they've done something stupid and destructive and infantile, not goofy and high-spirited and fun.

All the alumni lectures and university crackdowns in the world won't have a shadow of the impact of some hot girls saying, "What a jerk...he'll be sleeping alone," or some pledge brothers saying, "Man, you embarrassed us...remind me not to be seen in public with you again."

James · #5 10-01-2004, 08:33 PM

What was the lesson we are supposed to learn? I am getting confused with the rhetoric.

AnchorAlum · #6 10-01-2004, 10:06 PM

My husband was a Sigma Chi. This is horrible for the parents and family and friends.

My kids went off to college and we thought we had talked to them, said all the right things, and even let them have a drink now and then to take away the mystery or whatever you want to call it. After all, we certainly partied ourselves in college.

But I will say I was still shocked to hear about the level and frequency of partying- the number of mixers and socials - two or three a week at my daughter's school.
How it's normal at some places NOT to take a class that would actually meet - gasp - on Friday! Who could possibly make it after getting in a 3-4 AM from Thursday night?

Needless to say, our kids went Greek, partied too much, and we finally had to crack down. Our son had to work and put himself through school part time because he partied so much and we said pay for your own party, then pulled the plug on the $ pipeline.

Our daughter was so put off by the hard partying and drinking at her University she chose not to go back. She so regrets going Greek and falling into a bad routine. In the meantime, I regret that we even allowed them to pledge. They both have walked away from their GLO's.
I know it must sound like we did a poor job with them, but they are really fine now and grown up. So much of what you try to teach your children is drowned out by peer pressure.
Thanks for letting me vent, but I feel so horrible for that mother who I'm sure wishes she could hear her son's voice just one more time...

g41965 · #7 10-01-2004, 11:35 PM

Losing a young man just beginning to enjoy the prime of his life is a terrible shame. Evey year a new group of Freshmen hit the campuses of our colleges and Universities. We reinvent the wheel every year or two because the 18-19 year olds now enrolling don't remeber the stupidity we engaged in 5, 10 15 20 years ago yes stupidty and recreate our mistakes in the name of fun, chasing women and being free.
Nearly all 18 year olds live for the moment.
I'm frankly amazed more freshmen don't die, out of my 25 man pledge class I can remember at least 10 who passed out from drinking, I don't know what the answer is maybe deferred rush, maybe taking the romance out of booze by making it legal, all I know is that another set of parents is crushed because their wonderful son will never be able to be a part of their life again.
About six months ago I started a post expressing my concerns about letting my son pledge, I got some heat about the post, this type of event is the reason why every parent worries about their kids going greek.

AlphaSigOU · #8 10-01-2004, 11:56 PM

Chalk this up to experience and old age, but way back in my younger days when most of you were still in diapers, I was one who partied my way into a death spiral. I was depledged from one fraternity for some of my alcoholic antics, and there was no one to blame but myself for getting to that stage. And I almost repeated that during my pledge period in Alpha Sigma Phi until I got a severe talking to by my big brother and other members; if I kept going that same way, I was almost guaranteed to be blackballed when it came time to vote me for membership.

I straightened out, but it was already too late for me academically. While I was initiated into the fraternity, I finished the spring semester on academic probation. I stayed for the summer session, which brought my grades up to get out of Ac Pro, but it still wasn't enough to be eligible for financial aid. And my mother wasn't going to be handing out more money for me to piss away. So, it was time for me to withdraw from the University of Oklahoma and enlist in the Air Force.

Eventually, I outgrew those wild days of debauchery that marked my youth. I enjoy the occasional beer or mixed drink, but I no longer drink just to get drunk and pass out. (If I get into that situation, it's gonna be far away from my car keys.) My tolerance for massive quantities of alcohol at 39 is MUCH lower than it was when I was 19. The stricter DUI laws throughout the country have made it a very expensive legal and financial proposition to suffer the ignominy of a DUI arrest.

It's not funny when you can't remember what happened when you pass out.

It's not funny when your friends (and your enemies) tell stories about what you did while you were fucked up out of your mind - and you don't remember at all.

It's not funny when you wake up in your dorm room and can't remember how you got there, and you're offering up loud prayers to the porcelain god. And when you look at yourself in the mirror, you realize your face just had a visit from the 'Mystic Marker'.

It's not funny to piss all over yourself when you're passed out.

It's not funny when you get called up to the standards board and be told that your conduct as a pledge and future fraternity member is not welcome.

It's not funny when you are tried in a chapter meeting, found guilty of conduct unbecoming, and immediately depledged.

I hope maybe what I've just discussed may finally sink in to some of you. NO ONE IS INDESTRUCTIBLE. Don't get into a situation where you can possibly jeopardize your Greek organization or yourself. If you're of legal age, I'll be happy to share a beer or two with you, but I will be just as quick to "whisper good counsel in your ear" you if you step out of line.

DeltAlum · #9 10-02-2004, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
What was the lesson we are supposed to learn? I am getting confused with the rhetoric.

Not sure that there is a lesson here. My point simply is that there are better ways to stop these tragedies than we've tried so far, high on the list being peer pressure.

Additionally, it's time to be pro-active about stopping them as oppossed to offering condolences in retrospect.

Nationals and law enforcement haven't been able to effectively come to grips with the problem, so I believe it's time to bring different pressure to bear.

Munchkin03 · #10 10-02-2004, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Nationals and law enforcement haven't been able to effectively come to grips with the problem, so I believe it's time to bring different pressure to bear.

What sort of "different pressure"?

I don't know how much can be done. This might sound callous, but everyone's stunned into good behavior now. In a few weeks, people--even at these schools affected--will be back to their old antics. No number of lectures from alums, administrators, or HQ will unlearn this behavior, this youthful arrogance and feeling of invincibility.

I am interested, however, in how these schools take the issue of severely intoxicated students. If a student comes to the infirmary or calls EMS, are they still punished, or is the primary emphasis on making sure the kid doesn't end up in a box? These tragedies seem to be occurring more at large state schools--which could say a lot for the health education being offered at these places.

James · #11 10-02-2004, 11:40 AM

You don't sound like you did a poor job, it just sounds like you are fairly judgemental of the way your kids live, want them to conform to what you think they should do and are willing to punish them with financial sanctions.

A little controlling maybe lol.

Quote:

Originally posted by AnchorAlum
My husband was a Sigma Chi. This is horrible for the parents and family and friends.

My kids went off to college and we thought we had talked to them, said all the right things, and even let them have a drink now and then to take away the mystery or whatever you want to call it. After all, we certainly partied ourselves in college.

But I will say I was still shocked to hear about the level and frequency of partying- the number of mixers and socials - two or three a week at my daughter's school.
How it's normal at some places NOT to take a class that would actually meet - gasp - on Friday! Who could possibly make it after getting in a 3-4 AM from Thursday night?

Needless to say, our kids went Greek, partied too much, and we finally had to crack down. Our son had to work and put himself through school part time because he partied so much and we said pay for your own party, then pulled the plug on the $ pipeline.

Our daughter was so put off by the hard partying and drinking at her University she chose not to go back. She so regrets going Greek and falling into a bad routine. In the meantime, I regret that we even allowed them to pledge. They both have walked away from their GLO's.
I know it must sound like we did a poor job with them, but they are really fine now and grown up. So much of what you try to teach your children is drowned out by peer pressure.
Thanks for letting me vent, but I feel so horrible for that mother who I'm sure wishes she could hear her son's voice just one more time...

DeltAlum · #12 10-02-2004, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Munchkin03
What sort of "different pressure"?

Read my longer post above. The only real chance I see of changing this culture is through peer pressure -- which I think is a large part of the reason for the problem in the first place.

If the Greek System, or its various parts (Nationals, Chapters, Members, Alumni, Members, etc) don't want to do something about this fairly significant problem, then I don't think I have any interest in staying involved.

There is more than the tragic death of young people involved here. In the long run, the very existance of Greek Life is in danger.

At least that's my opinion.

ASTLuv21 · #13 10-02-2004, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum

Finally, can I please once again implore the use of the universitys full name instead of initials. While folks in this part of the country naturally think of OU as Oklahoma -- I got a terrible empty feeling in the pit of my stomach reading the title of this thread that this happened at Ohio University, my alma mater, which is known as OU to millions of people in the East and Midwest. Thanks.

I agree bc when I saw that I thought of my University which is Oakland University-Rochester MI aka OU.

My thoughts and prayers to the family and the brothers of Sigma Chi.

James · #14 10-02-2004, 02:19 PM

I think you are making good sense, but I think that the main problem is that drinking age is 21.

Thats what is killing greeks.

IF you want that to stop being a factor, dont take initiates under 21. Immediately expel any member under 21 that drinks (Zero Tolerance) and/or require all fraternity houses have a live in advisor that enforces dry housing rules.

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Read my longer post above. The only real chance I see of changing this culture is through peer pressure -- which I think is a large part of the reason for the problem in the first place.

If the Greek System, or its various parts (Nationals, Chapters, Members, Alumni, Members, etc) don't want to do something about this fairly significant problem, then I don't think I have any interest in staying involved.

There is more than the tragic death of young people involved here. In the long run, the very existance of Greek Life is in danger.

At least that's my opinion.

BlairLynn · #15 10-02-2004, 02:50 PM

news here from OU:

Seems things are getting back to normal... Today is dad's day at OU... Turns out Sigma Chi has about 2 buildings worth of apts. at the new apt. complex campus lodge, so I guess many will reside there. A pledge sister of mine was dating the young man that died, so she went home sick, we don't know when she will be back. It seems like the thing not to bring up around here, even though I think it should be brought up. Most people are afraid that OU may become a dry campus, which I think is the least of our worries at the moment. Anyhow the cops have finally left the Sigma Chi house, and an investigation is still underway. Other then that, that's the news here at OU.