Undecided about rushing

[astroAPhi]

Mermaid Girl... that sorority cannot prevent you from going through Formal Recruitment. They can choose not to invite you back, or not invite you to COB/COR events, but they cannot prevent you from going to Panhellenic recruitment events.

[kddani]

call me crazy, but this just doesn't sound right. There must be some sort of miscommunication or the girls you're talking too don't really know how things work (which is also very likely....especially in bigger chapters, if they're not very very involved in the rush process as a chair or something, they might not fully understand how things work)

ETA: i further think they're confused b/c they shouldn't be talking about this with you on MSN. Furthermore, it may very likely be a rush violation for them to be talking to you at all, particularly about recruitment, if you're even thinking about going through

[33girl]

Mermaid Girl, are there only 2 sororities on your campus?

What I'm talking about is if you went through formal rush and went to parties at all the sororities, they could not keep you from coming through the first round of parties. If you only have 2 groups though, rush might be handled differently.

[kddani]

ummm... just a point of advice.... you may want to use some discretion. I can just about guarantee you that there are people from your school on here. Talking poorly about chapters and people is not going to get you anywhere and can likely bite you in the ass, so I strongly suggest you edit that last post. This is not an anonymous place when you're giving us so much detail.

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Mermaid Girl,
I have two suggestions for you.

1- Please go and speak to your campus' greek affairs office. The greek adviser is going to be the best person to:
A-explain your campus' recruitment process
B-be a liason between you and any issues you may be having with a particualr groups recruitment process (i.e-she can contact advsiors and seek information as a third party)

2- Please also keep an open mind. It pains me for you to call out two great organizations negatively. Each chapter is unique and I apologize for the difficulty you are having, but each org on a national and chapter level has ups and downs.

I wish I knew more about your campus? I could have missed an earlier post, but could you break it down?

-Number of orgs (national and local)
-when is recruitment (formal/informal)
-who can be a PNM (credit requirements?)
-how are the orgs organized (houses, suites, rooms on campus, etc.)

I am from a small campus also and there were plenty of women who went through recruitment more than once, sometimes more than twice. Many found homes, some became part of a new colony, some are still independent.

Originally posted by MermaidGirl
Well, actually, after I rushed for ADPi (winter semester informal rush), I don't think they let ANYONE in. It was just me and this other girl who rushed (my school is tiny, and there are fewer than 20 girls in the chapter, I think), and the other girl (rushee) left like, five minutes into the first event, because she thought they "weren't friendly enough." My good friend from Alpha Phi told me that that girl had shown up at one of their events, and then chewed them all out over the dues. (The girl in question kinda has some issues, she's currently in a snit with the Student's Representative Council because she doesn't think they're giving her enough money for designing the student directory book....I'm on SRC, so I'm kind of in a hard spot). But yeah, anyway, I felt sorry for this girl, so I tried my best to be nice to her, and whenever I ran into her around campus, I'd be friendly and say hi and just talk to her about whatever. She still really wants to be in Alpha Phi (I can't imagine why, they had horrible problems this past year), and I feel kinda sorry for her, because I know she probably won't get a bid, because she was rude to the girls. Anyway, what am I saying? Maybe I did something that was as bad as what this girl did to the Phi's, but, like her, I just don't see it, but to the ADPi's, it's a huge thing that's absolutely unforgivable.

[MermaidGirl]

Oh, okay, I'm sorry.......I think all the ADPi's at my school are awesome girls, honestly, otherwise I wouldn't want to join.....it's not their fault I didn't get in, and I'm sorry if I made it seem like I was thinking that. I'm not mad at them at all, I'm more just mad at myself, like I've permanently foreclosed myself from something I really want to do, and I don't even really know why. The Phi's are nice girls too, and I don't really know what went wrong with them. Maybe it wasn't even anyone's fault......so many times, I've fallen out of touch with my friends just because of conflicting schedules, misunderstandings, etc., and it's probably entirely possible that that happened to them. For the most part, my school's a really friendly place, and I seriously don't know anyone there who would purposely try to instigate an argument or make things unpleasant.

[kappaloo]

Originally posted by kddani
ummm... just a point of advice.... you may want to use some discretion. I can just about guarantee you that there are people from your school on here. Talking poorly about chapters and people is not going to get you anywhere and can likely bite you in the ass, so I strongly suggest you edit that last post. This is not an anonymous place when you're giving us so much detail.

I'll have to co-sign this. Giving the names of the chapters as well as a lot of information about yourself makes your school recognizable to people who attend it, and considering that you seem to be an active member of your school, makes YOU recognizable.

[KSUViolet06]

It sounds really crazy that they would tell you why you didn't get a bid on MSN. That is privileged information that is part of the Member Selection process.

I concur w/ with kddani, it's a real no-no to name the orgs. There are alot of ADPi's on this board and one of them could very well be from the chapter you're discussing.

[KSUViolet06]

Also, didn't this start out as a shy girl asking for rush advice? Not trying to be rude, just trying to get back on track, maybe this issue needs it's own thread.

[Lindz928]

Originally posted by JocelynC
It sounds really crazy that they would tell you why you didn't get a bid on MSN. That is privileged information that is part of the Member Selection process.

I concur w/ with kddani, it's a real no-no to name the orgs. There are alot of ADPi's on this board and one of them could very well be from the chapter you're discussing.

Co-sign. I think this is why most of us choose to use ABC or XYZ when referring to certain orgs as to not cause friction or upset anyone.

[FSUZeta]

we might better understand your particular situation and be able to offer answers to you if you could tell us:

how many npc groups are on your campus?

were you participating in formal or informal
recruitment?(it sounds like informal to me)

in the fall will recreuitment be formal or informal?

were you offered a bid-were you invited to join?

did you accept a bid?

what year in school will you be?

how long until you graduate?

i agree with everyone else. if formal recruitment will be happening in the fall, you have every right to participate. no group can prevent you from participating in formal recruiment. if informal recruitment is happening in the fall, each group has the right to invite whomever they want to their activities. do not call the sorority's advisors-that won't help your case at all. it might help to speak to the greek life advisor.

Originally posted by JocelynC
Also, didn't this start out as a shy girl asking for rush advice? Not trying to be rude, just trying to get back on track, maybe this issue needs it's own thread.

co-sign. i was kinda confused when i clicked on the thread and then found all of this!!! wow!

[GatorGirl04]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I am 90% sure I am going to go through recruitment and am going to think about it some more this weekend. I'm heading out for an long weekend trip with some HS friends in Miami and the Keys and will reply to PM's as soon as I get back next Tues night/Weds morning

[kateshort]

Originally posted by MermaidGirl
how many npc groups are on your campus?

There are four, two for girls and two for guys, but in case people haven't seen my earlier posts, which I've since deleted, I won't give away the names.

Two notes here, MermaidGirl:

1) You do still have some posts that list one or two of the orgs. I'd ask * * * EVERYONE * * * who has posted in this thread or quoted part of MermaidGirl's responses to PLEASE replace the group names with ABC and XY. You can do this by going to the post where they're mentioned by you, clicking the little [Edit] button at the bottom of that specific post, replacing the longer sorority with ABC and the shorter one with XY, and clicking on the Save/Submit/Whatever it is button. [I'll be checking my own posts after this is posted.] MermaidGirl and others, I'd also suggest editing the posts to remove specific information about the university.

2) NPC = National Panhellenic Council. These are WOMEN's fraternities and sororities. There are no Men's NPCs. I'd assume that if there're national men's orgs on your campus, they might be members of the NIC = National Interfraternity Council [might be Interfraternal if I'm having a brain fart]. No biggie, but it's good to learn the terminology; and sometimes we fling out terms like NPC without PNMs (potential new members) knowing what the heck we're talking about.

[kappaloo]

MermaidGirl, I've sent you a PM.