Dating/marrying outside your religion

[ladybug1116]

My boyfriend and I have different religious upbringings...I am Christian and was raised in an interfaith household (Jewish/Christian). It doesn't bother us or my parents, though his mother struggles at times with the idea that he may marry outside of her faith. We feel in raising children, etc it is important to acknowledge both faiths but since that is several years away the specifics aren't exactly set in stone

[Intense1920]

I don't have a problem with being involved with someone of a different religion. My fiance' and I are of differing religious backgrounds and our religious choices are actually different than how we were raised. For us, it's not a big deal. We just choose to respect our different beliefs and when any children come around we'll let them be exposed to a spectrum of religions and choose for themselves.

[sigtau305]

I don't have a problem with it.

[labeachgrl]

Originally posted by honeychile
What really matters is the intensity each of the people in a relationship feels for religion - theirs or anyone else's. Two people of different religions, but with the same amount of intensity towards it, can make it if they really want to make it work.

I completely agree with this statement and would even go as far to say that there may be issues even with the SAME religion if one partner is not involved as the other in religion. If one is more intense about practicing their religion (prayer groups, needing to proselytize, strict roles in the marriage, etc), the difference may seem as wide as being with someone with a different religion if the other isn't practicing.

[aephi alum]

Since I didn't answer my own question... (I wanted to let this thread run for a bit)

I have an interesting perspective on dating or marrying outside your religion. Long story short, I was raised Catholic in a very Jewish neighborhood, drifted away from Catholicism as a college student, studied other religions (both Christian and non), and ended up choosing Judaism.

As a Catholic / lapsed Catholic, I never had any problem dating non-Catholics - actually, most of the guys I dated weren't Catholic. When I was dating my husband, he told me he had no problem with marrying a non-Jew as long as the kids were raised Jewish. That was fine by me. But at the same time, I was also considering choosing Judaism for my own reasons (no pressure from Mr. aephi alum or his family at all), and wound up doing so before the wedding, which took care of the intermarriage question.

Nowadays, though, if I were to become divorced or widowed and I got remarried, I would have no problem marrying a non-Jew, as long as his beliefs meshed closely enough with my own (I think I would have problems with a devil worshipper ), and as long as any children he and I might have would be raised Jewish.

[sairose]

I am church of Christ. Although, sure, it would make a lot of things easier to date someone from my church, I never actually have. HOWEVER...someone whose religion is quite different than my own, including Catholic, Jewish, Buddhist, Wiccan, etc, I just couldn't date probably. The beliefs are far too different than my own, and it woudl cause problems. I dated a guy once who was Athiest and that was one of the main reasons it didn't work out...we just had completely different values, etc because of our beliefs.

I would certainly date someone who was Baptist, Methodist, etc etc though.

[Rudey]

Do you all realize you're going to hell?

-Rudey

[kappaloo]

My father was a "practicing" Catholic, my mother was not Catholic and didn't want to convert. The priest who did their pre-marriage councelling say that "mixed-marriages" rarely worked. My parents celebrated 27 years ago, while a lot of the same-religion couple have broken up.

But I can understand why people wish to date the same religion as them. I mean... if you're seriously religious and your partner is not of the same breed - you probably have some rule that they're going to hell... that puts a damper on things probably.

[Taualumna]

I'm currently dating someone who is Jewish. He isn't very religious and neither am I, but his parents will possibly have issues with me (even though they're not very religious either)...My guy's parents were not too pleased with him when he was in elementary school because he held a wreath for classroom production (I didn't even realize that wreaths were connected to Christianity until he told me, since they're used during Rembrance Day ceremonies which are often interfaith/nonfaith)

[UKTriDelt]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
I wouldn't date outside my religion. Only Christians for me (or Catholics in a pinch).

Catholics ARE Christians honey

ETA: oops, should have read further before commenting.

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by UKTriDelt
Catholics ARE Christians honey

ETA: oops, should have read further before commenting.

LOL - Its all good

[AchtungBaby80]

My great-grandmother made me promise never to marry a Catholic. She calls marriages between two people who aren't exactly the same religion--even, say, a Baptist and a Methodist--"mixed marriages."

Myself, I am no religion. I was never baptized, and I never attended church regularly for any length of time. I have pretty, er, "liberal" views about religion, so really, a guy's religion is a non-issue for me unless he's super-religious and super into his church. (Once I dated a guy in seminary, and boy, was that a fiasco!)

[kansas13]

I am Catholic, teach in a Catholic school, and my husband was never baptised. Actually his mother is Jewish and in the Jewish religion whatever your mother is, that is what you are. So he always says if he has to pick, he would be Jewish. His birth father (sperm-donor) is Catholic and his step father is pure Catholic...so they have always celebrated both Jewish and Christian holidays. Before we got married he was thinking of converting to Catholicism, but I told him if he was going to do it he should do it for himself and not me. In the end he decided not to do it because he was only doing it for me.

We got married in a Catholic Church with a full mass because he knew it was something my family and I always wanted and he really didn't mind where we got married as long as we did. We are going to raise our children Catholic because he doesn't really practice anything while I do, so we thought that was the best thing to do. I know this seems that were are doing everything that is involved in my religion, but we still go to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur parties and I fully intend our children to know that they and their families come from two different religions and to learn about them both.

I don't see any problem in marrying someone that is a different religion. If you truly love eachother and are willing to compromise and make it work, it will. Plus, if you are different Religions (like Jewish and Christian) at least you won't have to fight with your family/in-laws as to where to go for the holidays!!

[Buttonz]

I could never marry someone who wasn't born Jewish. My ex didn't beleive in anything, but he was born Jewish and seeing ash ow I'm not super religous, I didn't have a problem with that.

I was never able to see the point of dating someone that I could never marry because of my beliefs. Because of that, I could never date a non-Jew. I see what my best friend is now going through after breaking upwith her boyfriend of 9 months after realizing that they could never be more because he wants to raise his kids Catholic while she wants to raise her kids Jewish.

You don't have to agree, but that's how I feel about the whole issue.

I would never date someone who isn't a Christian. But to be psycho and take it one step further... ....I wouldn't date someone outside of my denomination, who didn't believe the same doctrinal things I do. I want my kids raised the same way I was, believing what I believe.