Man throws woman off overpass, jumps to his death

[Jill1228]

Co-sign!

My mother is a survivor of DV. Her second husband (not my father) was an abusive A-HOLE! Back in the 80s when I was growing up in Va Beach, you could call the cops but they would not arrest unless they SAW the abuser hit you.

I didn't matter if you look like you went thru 12 rounds with Mike Tyson.

It didn't matter if the abuser said in front of the cops: "when they leave, I will finish the job"

They would not arrest unless they saw the offender hit the victim.

Who in the f*ck would be stupid enough to hit you in front of a cop? HELLO?!

Now the state presses charges. Before the victim would have to swear out a warrant...of course most of them wound up dropping the charges

Originally posted by honeychile
In many cities, if ANYONE calls in a domestic, the abuser (man or woman) MUST spend the night in jail. That law should be in all communities!

[AGDee]

Originally posted by valkyrie
{{{Hugs}}} for you, Dee.

Thanks! But, is it totally strange for me to say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me? It led me to realize how strong I am, how independent I am and that I can do anything that I put my mind to. That I have friends and family that will support me no matter what! I think we learn more and grow more from our times of adversity. It just doesn't feel like it at the time!

Dee

[PM_Mama00]

Dee that's awesome that you got out of that alright.

The guy that I had just been talking to for two months had just gotten out of a 7 year relationship with his ex fiance and mother of his son. He says he only hit her twice, but I'm wondering if it was more. He told me that she would throw things at him, and it all stopped once he accidentally broke her jaw. My friends told me that I'm stupid to talk to him and if he hit once he'll hit again. He's never done anything physical to me, but he is mean and degrading of women. His thoughts are that since his fiance hurt him, all women are evil and should be treated like dirt. One night he was being mean, I told him sometimes I would just rather him hit me (of course I wasn't being serious). He just shockingly looked at me and couldn't believe I said that and said he'd never touch a women ever again because of how bad he felt when he hurt his ex.

The emotional abuse sucks. Guys being blatantly mean sucks. And I can see how a girl can get sucked into a relationship like this. Like what Honechile said about how it starts out with little things. He would make mean comments when I'd say the littlest thing wrong, and after formal I bought orange juice instead of his cranberry juice, and the whole night he kept blaming me for him nto feeling good and just bein so mean that I didn't know what to do. Am i still talking to him? Yeah. But slowly getting over him. I've gotten to the point where I can't take his mean-ness anymore, and I'm glad we're not together cuz I can see it getting worse.

James I think you are pretty ignorant for saying that a woman should just get out. I wasn't even really dating Paul, and it's hard to let go. I can't even imagine what's it's like for someone like Dee or other women to try to get out.

[mrblonde]

I still like you, man.

[Munchkin03]

Thank you so much for sharing your stories, Dee and honeychile.

I, like mu_agd, tried to help a friend gain the resources and self-confidence to leave an extremely abusive relationship. I saw a vibrant, self-confident young woman basically cut down to a shell of her former self in less than six months. My own health and well-being was threatened in the process.

I hope those who think that it's just easy, that a woman can just get up and leave, never have to see their mothers, daughters, sisters, or female friends experience domestic violence. Women SHOULD leave--many die trying. But, to say "just leave" indicates a lack of understanding about domestic violence, as well as a lack of understanding about relationship dynamics.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by AGDee
Thanks! But, is it totally strange for me to say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me? It led me to realize how strong I am, how independent I am and that I can do anything that I put my mind to. That I have friends and family that will support me no matter what! I think we learn more and grow more from our times of adversity. It just doesn't feel like it at the time!

Dee

(((((Dee))))))))

I completely agree with you. While I hate what happened, I am a better person now that I know so much more about myself!

I did have to laugh about the secrecy part, though. I had a little stash of money that I was able to save (I was on an allowance, too), and a bag of things I'd need if I had to run tucked behind the books in my bookcase!

[AnchorAlum]

DV takes many forms - and none should be marginalized.
I think this incident - and I know that overpass well, because it is a HIGH one, and I am shuddering at the thought of that woman's horrific death - asks a larger question.
Why are people - and spouses - so angry? It's something that seems to have increased over the last generation.

Here we are discussing this and it occurs to me that yesterday was the tenth anniversary of Nicole Brown Simpson's murder. Talk about an outgrowth of uncontrolled rage...