Constructive Criticism & Advice vs. Being Rude

[Sexy Mocha]

Originally posted by ENDROAD:
:ROLLEYES: LASTPOET, I THINK YOUR PRETTY SMART AND ALL BUT YOU KEEP SAYING YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AN AKA, SO WHY ARE YOU SOOOO CONCERNED WITH WHAT MEMBERS AND THOSE INTERESTED ARE DOING. YOU SEEM LIKE A BEE IN A BONNET JUST TRYING REALLY HARD TO STIR UP SOMETHING. I COMMEND ALL THE YOUNG LADIES ON THIS FORUM, MEMBERFRIENDS AND SISTERFRIENDS FOR NOT INDULGING IN YOUR MESS, BUT I JUST HAVE TO BE HONEST WHEN I SAY YOU ARE STARTING TO WORK MY NERVES, NO DISRESPECT INTENDED , I AM JUST BEING HONEST :ROLLEYES:

Interesting thoughts EndRoad........

Very good Bee in the Bonnet analogy

[MaMaBuddha]

Originally posted by ENDROAD:
:ROLLEYES: LASTPOET, I THINK YOUR PRETTY SMART AND ALL BUT YOU KEEP SAYING YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AN AKA, SO WHY ARE YOU SOOOO CONCERNED WITH WHAT MEMBERS AND THOSE INTERESTED ARE DOING. YOU SEEM LIKE A BEE IN A BONNET JUST TRYING REALLY HARD TO STIR UP SOMETHING. I COMMEND ALL THE YOUNG LADIES ON THIS FORUM, MEMBERFRIENDS AND SISTERFRIENDS FOR NOT INDULGING IN YOUR MESS, BUT I JUST HAVE TO BE HONEST WHEN I SAY YOU ARE STARTING TO WORK MY NERVES, NO DISRESPECT INTENDED , I AM JUST BEING HONEST :ROLLEYES:

i love peeking my head in to my sisters in greekdom, because they have great topics.

lastpoet and brand nubian make valid points and several people have answered intelligently. it seems the people that have the problem don't know how to answer the questions.

does one have to be a member to indulge in intelligent conversation??? it is not a matter of stirring things up....one must no how to handle emotions and speak intelligent.

my advice...get over it and keep on keeping on.





[This message has been edited by MaMaBuddha (edited May 16, 2001).]

[AKAtude]

Originally posted by MaMaBuddha:
i love peeking my head in to my sisters in greekdom, because they have great topics.

lastpoet and brand nubian make valid points and several people have answered intelligently. it seems the people that have the problem don't know how to answer the questions.

does one have to be a member to indulge in intelligent conversation??? it is not a matter of stirring things up....one must no how to handle emotions and speak intelligent.

my advice...get over it and keep on keeping on.

My thoughts exactly.

[ENDROAD]

It is not that I don't know how to answer the questions it is just that I choose not to be analyzed by someone on the net. I admit that LastPoet brings some interesting topics to the table but it is continuous questioning and demanding of validation for something that to me is very emotional, which is my quest to become a member of the FIRST AND FINEST, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated.

[lastpoetnsite]

much respect...

so because i'm asking questions and maybe asking everyone to think about how they approach one another...specifically interests...that means that i am starting trouble?

from my standpoint i am merely passing on the knowledge that i have received in my pursuit of other organizations whether they be social, political, service, or a combination of both.

i have learned that no one "gets in good" with the members if they are critical (in the worst sense) of a fellow interest or even just someone who is outside of the whole interest/member circle.

i have also learned that sometimes members are "rude" because as AKA_Monet clearly pointed out as a way to challenge an interest. Or because they are just really rude. or because there is an assumption of intent that has been misinterpreted.

i was personally not trying to start any trouble but i was trying to point out that while some interests are rude...to one another, to others outside of the interest/member circle, and to members...there are other interests and sisterfriends who seek and take advice...even perceived or real..."rude" criticism and comments to heart and they do want members help.

if anyone would like to negatively criticize me they may do so at my email address.

my only assumption is that the last question (and thank you AKAtude for thinking that it is a worthy question...i appreciate it!) hit home in so many ways.

peace

[This message has been edited by lastpoetnsite (edited May 16, 2001).]

[ENDROAD]

[Southern Cook]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by lastpoetnsite:
[b]much respect...

does it strike some of you as odd that those of you who are interests are not helping one another? if a fellow interest is "whining" about what a member has said...wouldn't it behoove you...considering you both want to be members and if accepted will be calling one another sisters...to lend a helping hand to one another in times of need. no you cannot answer some questions...but there are those who have been researching longer and possibly could help the newer ones in their journey so that they would not have to be singled out.

if interests to this board were on line together would they make it? maybe or maybe not. my mother has always said...and its been said on this board and many others...that there is no "I" when you are pledging/intake. all of you as interests are in the same boat together. how is there a show of "sisterhood" when an interest is quick to down another interest?

if i was a member of an organization the interests that put down other interests in my presence would be the ones that i would definitely not be interested in having as sisters. if you cannot help one another in the initial process of just doing research...how can you truly be unified when doing the later processes?


Lastpoet:

How do you know we're not e-mailing one another? In a perfect world, everyone who had an interest in Alpha Kappa Alpha would help one another and everything would be honky dory. In a perfect world, everyone who THOUGHT they were the ideal prospects for Alpha Kappa Alpha would become members. However, as you and I both know, this world is by no means perfect.

There have been times during my quest when I have attempted to form bonds with other prospects (in REAL LIFE as you put it) and had it not work out AT ALL. At the Rush I attended, the graduate advisor told us that this is a competition and some will make it and some won't. While there is sisterhood promoted between some prospects (and don't think there isn't), it's sad to say that there are still some ladies who care about no one but themselves. Here's a perfect example. At my university, there were instances of prospects taking down posters announcing programs, events, and even Rush. (The ladies at the chapter announced at a program that they saw some people taking fliers down and they wanted them to stop.) There are only so many fliers posted, so why would you want to risk some other young lady not knowing the information for the sake of eliminating the competition? Because there are still some very selfish people in this world.

I have found that prospects are more receptive to information from other prospects in the cyber world though. I believe it's because they see no threat from this person.

Lastpoet, I will say that your questions are thought provoking, but as much as we would like (you and me both included) we can't save the world.

Excuse the long post, but thanks for those who did read it.

SC

[lastpoetnsite]

much respect...

SouthernCook it is great if you are emailing one another. but i can guarantee you there is someone out there who read my suggestion who never even thought about that.

my only thing is to "jump on the bandwagon" as AKAtude said and criticize another interest on post is surely not getting anyone cool points. and then what does that say of sisterhood?

in a perfect world we would, regardless of affiliation race creed religion etc., look out for one another. but we don't.
but i would have to say that while pursuing membership is a competition of sorts it is at the heart of it all a test in sisterhood.

and believe me trying to save the world is too much of a stress but trying to save a little corner of the world i occupy is always my goal!

thanks for responding

peace



------------------
"there are those who write history, there are those who make history and there are those who experience history..." Rev. Dr. MLK Jr.

[ENDROAD]

[sunnydays96]

Why don't people just answer the questions at hand and stop questioning the questions? This is why there is never a solution.

Lastpoetnsite asked a very good question/gave a good suggestion to a problem on GC. What was the reply? A personal attack that could have been sent in email or not sent at all because it had nothing to do with the topic.
So what if she isn't interested in whatever org. She can post whatever she pleases just like many of you guys do all the time.

If you do what she questioned then you really don't have anything to say. If you aren't doing what she is questioning, then think about it.

I mean some sisterfriends will say that the members have a "attitude" or are "rude", but look at the way you address each other. Members we will never get respect if the sisterfriends don't respect themselves or each other. Some of you guys are acting UGLY and it's so unnecessary.

"BUT I JUST HAVE TO BE HONEST WHEN I SAY YOU ARE STARTING TO WORK MY NERVES, NO DISRESPECT INTENDED"- If that isn't an oxymoron.

[AKAtude]

Tell it like it is, SunnyDays! That's what I was trying to tell folks. They won't listen! I said it was a really good question. Heck! I'm the moderator. I know a good question when I "skee" one!

Y'all know AKA2D and I know how to lock a thread down. Otherwise, go with the flow. If you don't have anything positive to contribute, check out another thread...please.

If any of you had a concern about the content of Lastpoet's posts, then you should have contacted AKA2D or me by e-mail to let us know your feelings or ask Lastpoet to e-mail you. All of this is getting really old.

[reddnhott2020]

Hi, I am entering the second semester of my junior year. Yes I do have great interest in a wonderful organization. And I have never taken any "rudeness" as anything other than I need to show myself worthy. That is with anything in life. You must first show yourself worthy before you are even considered. I feel if you can not take it, then you need to humble yourself and come down accordingly think about the things being said in the midst of the alleged "rudeness"


[This message has been edited by reddnhott2020 (edited June 24, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by reddnhott2020 (edited June 24, 2001).]

[ENDROAD]

Originally posted by AKAtude:
All of this is getting really old. [/B]

I AGREE WITH AKATUDE CAN WE GET A LOCK ON THIS ONE OR SOMETHING, WE ALL WILL HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS AND IT IS UNLIKELY ANYTHING TYPED HERE IN THIS THREAD IS GOING TO CHANGE OUR MINDS "thinking of sunny Jamaica"

[SweetestDiva]

Originally posted by ENDROAD:
I AGREE WITH AKATUDE CAN WE GET A LOCK ON THIS ONE OR SOMETHING, WE ALL WILL HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS AND IT IS UNLIKELY ANYTHING TYPED HERE IN THIS THREAD IS GOING TO CHANGE OUR MINDS "thinking of sunny Jamaica"

I don't think the thread needs a lock. I agree that lastpoetnsite has posed a valid question. And it's made me more observant to the blatant disrespect we often show each other as sisterfriends.

What will happen IF we become members? When another member says something you don't agree with, will you just continue to and, as Destiny's Child would say, "dis [em] on the Internet"? I mean, really.

I think it's been proven in the past over and over again that if a topic is indeed intended to start trouble, it'll get locked up and deleted within a matter of hours. My only question is this: If you open a certain topic and feel that the question posed is silly, unnecessary or designed to start conflict, why not just close it and move along? This is NOT meant to offend anyone, but if anyone takes issue with it, my e-mail addy is in my profile.

[lastpoetnsite]

much respect...

i appreciate all the people who have posted here. it is really good to see people just being real about being critical or what some may see as "rude".
i have another question to add to this.

although it may be understandable that those who are members of the organization can be critical...and maybe a little rude to interests (depending on how you view the post)...or as AKA_Monet said she does it in an effort to challenge interests true desire to be a member.

does it strike some of you as odd that those of you who are interests are not helping one another? if a fellow interest is "whining" about what a member has said...wouldn't it behoove you...considering you both want to be members and if accepted will be calling one another sisters...to lend a helping hand to one another in times of need. no you cannot answer some questions...but there are those who have been researching longer and possibly could help the newer ones in their journey so that they would not have to be singled out.

if interests to this board were on line together would they make it? maybe or maybe not. my mother has always said...and its been said on this board and many others...that there is no "I" when you are pledging/intake. all of you as interests are in the same boat together. how is there a show of "sisterhood" when an interest is quick to down another interest?

if i was a member of an organization the interests that put down other interests in my presence would be the ones that i would definitely not be interested in having as sisters. if you cannot help one another in the initial process of just doing research...how can you truly be unified when doing the later processes?

*disclaimer: i know that i'm not a member of any BGLO so please refrain from throwing this at me. i am just commenting not on any individual but just what i have seen in "real" life and on this board and others.*

sorry if this was too long

peace



[This message has been edited by lastpoetnsite (edited May 16, 2001).]