Cutting legacies early in rush (NPC) - Page 3

ISUKappa · #31 01-26-2004, 05:05 PM

We also had a legacy go through our chapter whose mother was an alum of our chapter, was very visible on the local Panhellenic, in our org and in the community. She was a very classy, dynamic, beautiful woman. The poor girl went through, was pledged with much internal controversy, initiated and left school soon into the second semester. She really did try get involved to please her mother, and we tried to involve her as much as we could, but you could tell her heart just wasn't in it and I think for everyone involved, it was best she left when she did.

Little E · #32 01-26-2004, 06:34 PM

There is a young woman at Beloit who's grandmother is a former National President of ADPi. I believe she was a three generation legacy and part of the reason she came to Beloit was to avoid it all. She is a wonderful person, but just doesn't want to do the sorority thing. It sounds like she is really lucky to have had parents who were understanding enough to allow her to do what she wanted. I guess her first semester (i was abroad) she came to a few rush events to appease her mother, but just knew it wasn't for her.

Tom Earp · #33 01-26-2004, 06:54 PM

Doesnt it boil down to:

That persone is not her Legacy Relatives but an individual of her own calling.

She is not They and vice versa. Why should something be forced upon them and in the same vein something forced upon the Chapter.

As the old story goes, the ugly duckling became a beautiful Swan or not!

The kids that come to College many times are forced by Parents

So they are there with ill feelings from the get go. If they dont want to Pledge or Associate, then let that be the deciding factor!

I have a Brother, # 54 to be exact whose son pledged another Fraternity right across the street from our House. It hurt him like hell, but backed him 100 %!

He hangs with us a lot for things that the Alum do. Not a problem with me I still Love Wade as He is Rams Boy!

aephi alum · #34 01-26-2004, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AEPhiSierra
I believe we are required to give a bid to people that get recs from the National President. I so have to double check that though/

My understanding is that people with recs from the national president (and possibly other national officers) are treated almost the same way as legacies. They must be invited back to the first invitational round, and if they are invited to pref they must be placed on the first bid list unless doing so would push a legacy to the second bid list. I think they can be cut before pref, but it's not really a good idea to annoy the national president like that

tld221 · #35 01-26-2004, 08:17 PM

Quote:

I don't know if you are a member of a GLO (it appears from your posts that you are).

not to mislead any1, but im not a GLO member. but i research and pick up information as i go along.

i understand every org has certain attributes they look for, but to say that one of them is being "ladylike" cuts a lot of potential members out who could be assets to the org.

and arent u supposed to accept people for who they are?

i realize my opinions may be taken a lot differently now that it is official i am an independent, and that the outsiders dont understand until theyre in it, but im going on logic, and questioning the orgs that are supposed to better people and promote all the wonderful things ur about.

33girl · #36 01-26-2004, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tld221
not to mislead any1, but im not a GLO member. but i research and pick up information as i go along.

i understand every org has certain attributes they look for, but to say that one of them is being "ladylike" cuts a lot of potential members out who could be assets to the org.

and arent u supposed to accept people for who they are?

i realize my opinions may be taken a lot differently now that it is official i am an independent, and that the outsiders dont understand until theyre in it, but im going on logic, and questioning the orgs that are supposed to better people and promote all the wonderful things ur about.

You're getting way too hung up on the term "ladylike." Substitute "uncouth" if that works better because that's really what we're talking about.

Being what some would call "quirky" or "original" is wonderful, and many of the women who could be labeled as such join sororities. Being rude, slovenly, mean or completely socially inept is not wonderful. I doubt very much you would want to be friends with such a person. Why on earth do you think a sorority should bid them???

A sorority is supposed to better you, but it isn't a reformatory or finishing school.

AchtungBaby80 · #37 01-26-2004, 11:13 PM

I kind of wish there wasn't a "rule" that legacies should be invited back for a certain number of rounds, especially if they're going to release you anyway. Here's my story...when I went through rush, my school had a chapter of the sorority that my two older sisters belong to. Only problem was, I didn't particularly like it, and knew I wasn't going to join it. Now, I know I should've just cut them, but I felt bad about doing that, because I was a legacy to that group and I didn't want my sisters to feel that I "rejected" their sorority. They kept inviting me back, so I left them in my schedule, only to be dropped right before Pref. I was relieved, but in a way I wish they'd cut me sooner so I could've kept another group I liked marginally better. It was so obvious I wouldn't fit in there...why'd they keep me around so long? I'm beyond happy with the house I joined, but it's just something I got to thinking about when I saw this thread...

DGqueen17 · #38 01-26-2004, 11:44 PM

I think that parents just need to realize that the girls in the chapters now aren't the same. Forcing your daughter to be with girls she doesn't get along that well with is depriving her of the true experience.

FAUNikki · #39 01-26-2004, 11:53 PM

There is a girl in my chapter that was a legacy to another sorority on campus, but she wanted nothing to do with them. She went against her mother's wishes and joined us, and now her mother is happy that she joined the right group for her.

DGqueen17 · #40 01-26-2004, 11:57 PM

Good for her! I liked the Kappas when I rushed.....but DG was a PERFECT fit

So here I am

aopinthesky · #41 01-27-2004, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by tld221

and arent u supposed to accept people for who they are?

I hope I am not putting this too bluntly, but not particularly. Different groups look for different things in members. Yes, most groups want a diverse membership that will enrich the lives of all members. What they look for first and foremost are members who will mesh well with existing sisters. If "who you are" is the complete opposite of the sorority then it wouldn't be a good fit for the group or the member.

I agree with 33girl, you are probably taking what she said too literally. I didn't mean to insinuate that you shouldn't have opinion about membership selection unless you are a member of a GLO. You have every right to your opinion. I was just trying to say that if you are a GLO member then you surely understand the deliberative process.

MiAngel711 · #42 01-28-2004, 01:17 AM

I think it should be a GLO issue rather than NPC issue. Some larger GLOs who have many legacies rushing are limiting themselves to potential members by using invites for legacies that are possibly not a match for the chapter. It also could potentially limit the invites for the PNM....I think...correct me if thats wrong.:P

I mean think about having to go out on a date more than once because are you are "obligated" to, even though both parties know its never going to work!!! Ick!

Aphigal · #43 01-28-2004, 10:29 AM

I think that *sometimes* legacies get too much attention...meaning if they were just a regular pnm they were be more accepted. Its unfortunate the way our chapters expect legacies to jump through flaming hoops sometimes.

cash78mere · #44 01-28-2004, 11:57 AM

i think legacies should be given extra consideration, meaning having as many people as possible meeting her, doing extra talking if some people aren't sure, and then giving her the benefit of the doubt if people are on the fence. inviting them to one night out of 4 or 5 isn't too much to ask because it gives everyone a chance to get to know her a little more.

however, i can totally see where that can be a major problem for big southern schools. so i don't know that it should actually be a rule set in stone

shadokat · #45 01-28-2004, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tld221
i understand every org has certain attributes they look for, but to say that one of them is being "ladylike" cuts a lot of potential members out who could be assets to the org.

and arent u supposed to accept people for who they are?

tld, look at going through recruitment like a job interview. You wouldn't show up there dirty, smelling, swearing, etc. Same applies for recruitment. AND, if you want to be those things, then I suggest not going through recruitment. It's a harsh reality, but sororities aren't for everyone.