Cashmoney's Dating Advice

[rainbowbrightCS]

and here is mine.

Ok I am finally getting used to living in GA. I have been here for a year but never really adventured out more then I needed to.
So now I am in class and there is the guy named "BOB" there who I thought he was really cute since about June. I started to talk to him after class and what not, but then that class ended and now a new quarter started, and picture that, he is in this one too. Now while in class we would have group discusions and when I would talk he would say something that he rememered that I said or did. Like day one I said my name is Christia and he put in "she is from AZ" Now about two weeks ago we got out of class early and we talked at our cars from like 50 minutes. Then last week the same thing happened, we chatted at our cars again. I told him that I am Roman Catholic, and he shocked because he is too. (this is the South, were Roman Catholic is an endangered religion) He then told me about his church and I told him how little I know about the churches here. Then he invited me to go to his church. I thought it was like a "hey, came to my church, its the best" and then he was asking me which service I was going to so he can meet me there. I told him which one it will be (I have to wait till next week to go, but he knows this). Then we was telling me about the store his family owns and its past and how to get there. I was not sure if he was just proud of it or wanting me to see it, but then he told me when he is usually there to I know when to come by.

I don't know if this is southern hospitally or if he likes me. I gave his friend me number (for a project) so he can get my number easily.

Should I ask him out, or what? I don't know what to do, I never dealt with a southern guy before.

Christia

Sorry about the length and the type-o's

Christia

[absolutuscchick]

cashmoney, where are you! Everyone needs your advice!!

[cashmoney]

I'm in Orlando right now, I've been bouncin around the state since wednesday. I went back to Jax but had to come back to Orlando early evening on sunday. I should be back in Jax this evening, I'll get to it later tonight.

[dzrose93]

Originally posted by rainbowbrightCS
and here is mine.

Ok I am finally getting used to living in GA. I have been here for a year but never really adventured out more then I needed to.
So now I am in class and there is the guy named "BOB" there who I thought he was really cute since about June. I started to talk to him after class and what not, but then that class ended and now a new quearter started, and picture that, he is in this one too. Now while in class we would have group discusions and when I would talk he would say something that he rememered that I said or did. Like day one I said my name is Christia and he put in "she is from AZ" Now about two weeks ago we got out of class early and we talked at our cars from like 50 minutes. Then last week the same thing happened, we chatted at our cars again. I told him that I am Roman Catholic, and he shocked because he is too. (this is the South, were Roman Catholic is an endangered religion) He then told me about his church and I told him how little I know about the churches here. Then he invited me to go to his church. I thought it was like a "hey, came to my church, its the best" and then he was asking me which service I was going to so he can meet me there. I told him which one it will be (I have to wait till next week to go, but he knows this). Then we was telling me about the store his family owns and its past and how to get there. I was not sure if he was just proud of it or wanting me to see it, but then he told me when he is usually there to I know when to come by.

I don't know if this is southern hospitally or if he likes me. I gave his friend me number (for a project) so he can get my number easily.

Should I ask him out, or what? I don't know what to do, I never dealt with a southern guy before.

Christia

Sorry about the length and the type-o's

Christia

Christia,

First off, I'm glad that you're getting use to living in Georgia! Secondly, I got a kick out of reading your story about "BOB". Reminds me of when my husband and I first started seeing each other. He's from Ohio, and I'm a native Georgian. We were so excited when we discovered that we were both Catholic. You're right, it is somewhat of a rarity down here.

From what you've said "BOB" sounds interested in you. He obviously wants to see you at church, so I'd suggest taking him up on his offer to meet you there. After Mass has ended, if you're feeling comfortable around him, then invite him to go out to lunch with you (or breakfast -- I don't know what time the Mass is). A lunch date is pretty casual, so there shouldn't be much pressure on either of you to feel as if you're on a big "date." I think it would be a great opportunity to get to know each other better and find out what other things you have in common.

Good luck!

[AXJules]

Originally posted by FAB*SpiceySpice
Ok so I feel like a loser asking for advice, but yea, I really need some so here goes.

Since my freshman year I have had a crush on this one guy, S. We've hooked up on and off for the last two years but this semester it's become like a regular thing. He doesn't want a relationship and I don't want one with HIM but I do want a relationship. However something about him to me is just really like hard to let go of and I don't know why. He is an asshole a lot of the time, but the times when he's sweet seem to make up for it. Now I know the smart thing is to say, I'm too good for him blah blah just move on but I am trying so hard and I feel like I can't b/c I want him to be in my life in at least some little way. The thought of like never kissing him ever again though scares me b/c I just can't fathom that.

So now enter my ex boyfriend, D. He and I broke up b/c of a lot of reasons but mainly b/c it was moving too fast and neither of us was ready for that at the time. Now we both are and we want to be together but he has a HUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGEEEE dillema going on right now. I want to be there for him and help him through it, but it's a seriously complicated scary situation. I'm the only person he has told outside of his fraternity and he expected me to freak out and like run away I guess, and no part of me wants to do that, I just don't know how we're going to get through this.

So what do I do? I want to be with both guys. S doesn't want a relationship but as soon as I mention anything about any other guy he becomes so jealous and possessive. And I know I'm dumb for thinking this, but I see that as his way of showing me that he cares. STUPID I know.

Ok so yea, advice...please.

I can't believe I just typed all this out on here. Sorry guys.

g
FAB! No sadness/confusion for you! Here's my take, whether you want it or not-

S. is a fuck buddy. You know that, b/c you said you don't want a relationship with him. He's not that quality guy...he's Mr. Right now. Which is fine, except that you have history w/D. and you guys both want to be together. Of course there's a part of S. that cares about you....but regardless, he's an ass who is kind of a hobby for you. You're not dumb for thinking anything....in some weird way that IS his way of showing he cares- he cares that he's not going to be getting your attention, even though he hasn't done the same for you. And it will be hard to stop kicking it with him b/c old habits die hard...but until you do, D. isn't going to happen.

Don't freak out about the situation with D. You care about him a lot, he cares about you, and I don't know if you believe in fate but I DO and the night you and I met ( ) was fate for that and more importantly, for the 2 of you. Something threw him in front of you. He was put there b/c he needs you now....unfortunately any romance is going to have to wait between you guys until he gets his shit straightened around. That doesn't mean it won't happen, it just means he needs you as a friend, first.

Good luck, and I'm always here to talk to!

[desirethegreat1]

You guys are good with this advice stuff. I guess you have your Doctorate . I wouldn't say that I am the best when it comes to giving advice...but I'm pretty good I think . But my problen is I just cannot take myown advice

[AXJules]

Originally posted by desirethegreat1
But my problen is I just cannot take myown advice

Wow if that didn't echo my own thoughts

[chideltjen]

Here is my issue.

I AM EVERY MAN'S BEST FRIEND! I have tons of guy friends. I love hanging out with them. Most of my co workers are guys and I go out to lunch with a few of them almost every day (and i am generally the only girl to go with them). When I go to bars and clubs, I have my girls there, but I will also have a few guy friends there and tend to enjoy hanging out with them more. Some of my guy friends know secrets my girl friends don't know. Basically, I am the girl friend, but never the girlfriend. My guy friends don't see me more than that. I have had small crushes on friends but they never worked out. Some I stayed friends with and others I don't speak to. But I need help. I haven't been on a date in almost a year and I am always scared of going into the dating situation only to give off a friends/lil sister vibe. What am I doing wrong?
A lil background on me: my last LT relationship ended almost 2 years ago. My ex was emotionally abusive and probably cheated on me. (Still TBD but i honestly wouldn't want to know.) Most of the guys I have dated since then have turned sour. Either I don't speak to them or something like that.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
oooh I wanna play too.

so I went to this church service which is geared towards the college/just out crowd. I went by myself and ended up sitting with a 22 yr old guy, out of school, real job, seems sweet. One of the first things he said to me, though, was, "The Washington Post rated this the Best Place to Meet Your Mate." This was Wed... Thurs night he called to ask if I wanted to go bowling (bowling, I hate bowling) with his friends. I went and had an OK time. He didn't make any effort to overtly flirt, but asked if I wanted to go to church wtih him next week.

He also made an offhanded comment about the reason he works such long hours is he'd rather do that than be idle -- he doesn't have anything else to fill his time with.

I'm starting to get suspicious this guy is just shopping for a girlfriend, NOT for me. Do guys DO that?

HDIPM-


There are guys out there who do that, they go to church to shop for a GF. From what I understand they don't want to look for girls out at the bar/club, they are not in school anymore and have a hard time finding decent women who share some of the same views. If you ask me this guy is wierd in the sense like some idle time. That means he doesnt have that much of a life outside of work and church. So basically, yes....guys do that. I guess they want a real christian girl or something.


Cash-

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
Ok, I have something for you.

Why do guys claim that they want a woman who "knows what she wants" but when said woman goes after what she wants (usually the guy) they totally FREAK out and run away?

SBGPHB-


The guy just doesnt want to make a commitment. Maybe the guy said woman is asking doesn't feel the same way about the girl. A lot of guys talk a lot of crap.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Cashmoney,

Thanks!

That was really great advice, and you're absoloutely right.
I've even tried some of the things you have suggested (obviously not hard enough).
So I have another question, why am I having such a hard time letting go? If it was any other guy I know I would have dumped his a$$ a long time ago. I can't seem to figure it out. Maybe you can shed some light onto it.
Having a neutral persepctive is good. You don't know me, so you're not afraid to be honest.

LPP-


Letting go is never easy when its someone you really like. I'm guessing that you're in to this guy more than he's in to you. You really like him, right? I think he likes you, but not as much as he should. You need to move on, and quick. The longer you hold on to him the more its gonna hurt in the end.


Cash-

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Oh, I know they talk all kinds of crap. It's ok though, I"ve pretty much moved on...............

You snooze, you lose..........

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by FAB*SpiceySpice
Ok so I feel like a loser asking for advice, but yea, I really need some so here goes.

Since my freshman year I have had a crush on this one guy, S. We've hooked up on and off for the last two years but this semester it's become like a regular thing. He doesn't want a relationship and I don't want one with HIM but I do want a relationship. However something about him to me is just really like hard to let go of and I don't know why. He is an asshole a lot of the time, but the times when he's sweet seem to make up for it. Now I know the smart thing is to say, I'm too good for him blah blah just move on but I am trying so hard and I feel like I can't b/c I want him to be in my life in at least some little way. The thought of like never kissing him ever again though scares me b/c I just can't fathom that.

So now enter my ex boyfriend, D. He and I broke up b/c of a lot of reasons but mainly b/c it was moving too fast and neither of us was ready for that at the time. Now we both are and we want to be together but he has a HUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGEEEE dillema going on right now. I want to be there for him and help him through it, but it's a seriously complicated scary situation. I'm the only person he has told outside of his fraternity and he expected me to freak out and like run away I guess, and no part of me wants to do that, I just don't know how we're going to get through this.

So what do I do? I want to be with both guys. S doesn't want a relationship but as soon as I mention anything about any other guy he becomes so jealous and possessive. And I know I'm dumb for thinking this, but I see that as his way of showing me that he cares. STUPID I know.

Ok so yea, advice...please.

I can't believe I just typed all this out on here. Sorry guys.

Fab-

I've been there on wanting to be with two people at once. Its hard to decide what to do. I think the reason why you want to be with your ex is because you two are still friends and still close ( to an extent). The friendship that formed while you two were dating has created a place for him in your heart. Thats why you want to be there for him, you still care about him very much. I'm the same way with an ex of mine. We still talk as good friends and she's even sent me baby pics of her older sisters son she just had. I'd break my back for that chick. Still, us being together in the future just isnt gonna happen. I think you should be there for your ex during his issue and help him through this time. But be there as his friend I wouldn't get romanticly involved if i were you. If the two of you arent dating now, you dont need to get romanticly involved with this guy while he's going through this serious stuff.

Now, about S.......

Its sounds to me like he just wants you to be his phuck buddy but doesnt want to offically label whats going on between you two because of a comitment. Look at it like this, him being like that means he can be with another girl behind your back and not feel guilty about it since you two arent dating. At the same time, you're probably his main girl and therefore doesnt want you to be messing around with other guys. Thats why he gets jealous. This guy sounds like he's a pimp, and he's making you look bad by not dating you while still hooking up with you all the time while you want some sort of a relationship. It really depends on what you want. If you want a relationship, leave S.......you're not gonna get it from him as of now. If you like him that much and want him in your life and the two of you not dating doesnt bother you...then stay with him.


Hope I helped.



Cash-

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by rainbowbrightCS
and here is mine.

Ok I am finally getting used to living in GA. I have been here for a year but never really adventured out more then I needed to.
So now I am in class and there is the guy named "BOB" there who I thought he was really cute since about June. I started to talk to him after class and what not, but then that class ended and now a new quarter started, and picture that, he is in this one too. Now while in class we would have group discusions and when I would talk he would say something that he rememered that I said or did. Like day one I said my name is Christia and he put in "she is from AZ" Now about two weeks ago we got out of class early and we talked at our cars from like 50 minutes. Then last week the same thing happened, we chatted at our cars again. I told him that I am Roman Catholic, and he shocked because he is too. (this is the South, were Roman Catholic is an endangered religion) He then told me about his church and I told him how little I know about the churches here. Then he invited me to go to his church. I thought it was like a "hey, came to my church, its the best" and then he was asking me which service I was going to so he can meet me there. I told him which one it will be (I have to wait till next week to go, but he knows this). Then we was telling me about the store his family owns and its past and how to get there. I was not sure if he was just proud of it or wanting me to see it, but then he told me when he is usually there to I know when to come by.

I don't know if this is southern hospitally or if he likes me. I gave his friend me number (for a project) so he can get my number easily.

Should I ask him out, or what? I don't know what to do, I never dealt with a southern guy before.

Christia

Sorry about the length and the type-o's

Christia

Christia-

Southern guys are just that, they're southern. What he's doing is being nice, but I also think he likes you. What the problem is, is he doesnt know how to close the deal. He's a little slow on asking you out...but he wants to. I think it may also have ssoemthing to do with him not knowing you like him or would like to go out with him. A lot of men don't know how to read women, likewise with chicks reading men. Maybe you ought to flirt with him a little more, go by and see him at his shop. I'd say wait a week or two more and see what he does. If he hasnt asked you by then you should ask him out depending on how much you like him. A lot of southern guys are just shy or have no game whatsoever. They really don't know how to close the deal in a timely manner. Personally, I think you should go ask him out....it'll be a turn on for him.


Let me know what happens.




Cashmoney-

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by cashmoney
LPP-


Letting go is never easy when its someone you really like. I'm guessing that you're in to this guy more than he's in to you. You really like him, right? I think he likes you, but not as much as he should. You need to move on, and quick. The longer you hold on to him the more its gonna hurt in the end.


Cash-

We haven't spoken in over a week. Maybe it's because he finally realizes that he doesn't want to be with me and what he's doing is wrong. I haven't made an attempt to contact him because I don't need this anymore. I should have done this a long time ago. I just don't know why I didn't. Well at least it's over now.