Oh what it's like be a pretty princess...

[Miss. Mocha]

I just want to say that if being a PRINCESS is not your "testimony", then it will be very difficult for you to understand where we are coming from.

A princess can be, and most are, very self sufficient. Our parents, and loved ones have let us know that we can depend on them for anything if the need arises, and that tends to make us more confident, and increase the amount of risk that we are willing to take.

Yes, we have standards, and excuse my frnech, but there ain't a DAMN thing wrong with having standards!!!

If more women had standards, maybe there would less illegitimate babies, less crack babies, less women in jail for "accessory to sell drugs", and less women in "abuse" shelters.

Maybe there would be less children getting molested by "uncles", and less babies being killed by the "baby's momma boyfriend".

Materialism has nothing to do with being a princess.

I AM A PRINCESS, and a good present to this princess from my husband includes, being outside of my job, on time, to pick me up when I get off work, not necessarily a tennis bracelet (unless it's EMERALD).

Those of you who can't relate to us, just open your minds, maybe you'll discover that you're a closet Princess, after all.


Miss. Mocha

[AKAtude]

For Those Who Think Being Spoiled or a Princess is a Sin:

I think you may have misunderstood some posts. As I noted in my post, it's a two way street (or at least it is in my relationship). I'm not a "high maintanence" kind of woman.

Yes, I am an educated black woman with a career and pay my own bills. I'm not dependent on anyone. I do for myself and that includes pampering myself. I believe in treating myself well. If I don't do it, who will? But I also treat my man well.

My fiance and I give each other gifts "just because". His gifts at times may be more expensive because he now has it like that. However, when we first met we were both poor, broke college students. When we began to date, we were still the same poor, broke college students. I have supported him and he has supported me.

I didn't have to wait on my fiance before I began saving for my future. That started years ago, but now we are doing it together. If something were to happen to one of us, then we would have the means and resources to care for the other. Some people may not take their marriage vows seriously, but we intend to.

Obviously, our concept and image of being spoiled or being a princess is different from one another. I consider myself spoiled growing up primarily because I was the baby of the family.

I didn't have to pout or throw tantrums to get my way. I got things when my parents felt I deserved them. I didn't have a job in high school or college because my parents didn't want me to. They felt it was best for me to focus on academics and extracurricular activities. My parents bought me my first car before I graduated from high school. I didn't ask for one. However, they did the same thing for my older brother and sister and treated me the same.

People on the outside gave me the label of being spoiled. It was business as usual in my family. It didn't make us dependent. We have all thrived and gone on to lead successful lives (of course, that depneds on how you as an individual measures success).

My mother refers to me as a princess simply because every Friday night is an "all about me" night. I simply pamper myself with a pedicure, manicure, facial, read my magazines in the middle of my bed, etc. She admires me for the woman that I have become. I admire her and my dad for the sacrifices they made and helping me to get there.

[BlueReign]

Thanks AKAtude, Now I get it!!

[Convinced]

Dang, a sister goes away for the weekend and all h*** breaks loose!!!! Who is this "beauty" person, anyway, and why is she reading a board by and about primarily African American sorority members and interests? Looking for pointers, huh? LOL at the audacity and utter stupidity!

[DELTABRAT]

Hey All:

Whoo! Yeah, check Beauty's profile and you will see that she registered on the very day that she responded to this thread. She apparently doesn't know how things work up in the spot.

I will say that when I began reading I was thrown off. I have always thought of myself as being really down to earth. Even denying that my upbringing was very fortunate.

When I met my current beau, he would do things like open the doors for me, etc., etc (basic stuff). Honestly I never DEMANDED that from a man and therefore, never got it (those who live in LA know a brothah who is chivalrous is hard to come by). I always felt like "I can do it myself." But now, shoot...don't let him or anyone else even think of not being chivalrous. They can get to steppin'.

I reflected on my own upbringing and realized that I have a lot of the same "qualities" of upbringing as many of you. The difference (well maybe not) is that I never cared to really talk about them. This was my attempt to "fit in." I didn't surround myself with other "princesses." I am from the CPT (Compton). So there weren't many. However, people would call me the "Fresh Princess of Compton" all the time and I never really liked it. I lived in a really big house, constantly remodeled, traveled, participated in many activities that were not privy to my peers, etc. In reflection I have to say that I am. I like, no love, to be pampered. I can do it myself or my beau or my parents...I am an equal opportunity princess. I also like to treat my man well and he knows it. It is reciprocated.

I have to agree that it is a state of mind. There is nothing with wanting the better things out of life. It begets ambition for most of us. Additionally, it allows some of us not to settle for things that we don't want or to know the difference when we see men/circumstances that we know we would rather not deal.

It took me awhile to figure it out. Had I realized that yes, I am a princess, I may have NOT dealt with some of the men in my life that I ended up dealing with.

I am in graduate school. I do work. Yet, as a student, if I need/want something, my parents will provide. In their minds, as long as I perform well in school I should not HAVE to pay rent/car note/insurance. Simply because THEY feel it takes MY focus off of my studies.

I can admit that some of the posts were real self-degrading (at least they sounded that way) with the curled up toes and what not but I think that Beauty just basically pissed folx off to the point where they were ready and willing to tell her to kiss off!

Sorry so long.

F.P.O.C.

[AKA2D '91]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

YES, INDEED!

THANKS N4L, you TRULY understand!

SORORS, all I can say, is SKEE-WEE, what else?

Miss Mocha... holding up fist...Power to the People! Preach on, My sista!

I guess, NOW, everything is supposed to be okay. I started to edit my previous post last night to include:

IF YOU CAN'T RELATE....DON'T HATE!

Everyone does not and will not have the same experiences. If you don't, don't criticize others and ask if it is a joke! I could "look" at you and ask/say the same thing....ARE YOU AND WHAT YOU ARE (your experiences)ABOUT A JOKE?

let me add, whatever my experiences have or will be, I truly see them as a BLESSING! IT IS A BLESSING THAT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN/EARNED WHATEVER I HAVE OR HOPE TO HAVE. Yet, in the same time, remain very humble and appreciative!

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited January 09, 2001).]

[Poplife]

Originally posted by DELTABRAT:
I reflected on my own upbringing and realized that I have a lot of the same "qualities" of upbringing as many of you. The difference (well maybe not) is that I never cared to really talk about them.

I can admit that some of the posts were real self-degrading (at least they sounded that way) with the curled up toes and what not but I think that Beauty just basically pissed folx off to the point where they were ready and willing to tell her to kiss off!

Deltabrat pretty much said what I have been thinking all this time.

Anyone that knows about my upbringing knows that I am a very lucky person. I grew up with alot of privileges, but not everyone around me was that way. Even when I was younger I knew not to go flouncing into to school telling everyone how I had spent the weekend in a suite overlooking the NC shore just because I was accepted into the “Talented and Gifted” Program.

My mother always taught me that attempting to brag about what we were blessed with to random people was tasteless and a sign of bad up-bringing (or no upbringing at all). That might insult some people, but those was the rules that we lived by in my home and in my community. You just didn't BOAST. I still can't stand people that do that today.

This whole thread reminds me of how I was helping my boss with finances and a women comes up in this huge fur coat. She was clucking to one of the other employees about how this was the third fur her husband bought her, how she had a house in Florida, and how that fat rock on her was bought just because she felt like it. Let me remind you that this lady was a total stranger to us all. Needless to say when she left everyone was laughing at her because she looked like a fool spouting of like that. You could tell that she had no idea about DISCRETION when it came to her wealth and personal life. There is a way to tell people things, and obviously she didn’t know it.

The next lady came in was wearing a St. John suit and Salvatore Ferragamo shoes. Her whole outfit probably cost in the neighborhood of $1500 (not counting the rock on HER finger). Let me tell you, this women was sophisticated and discreet. You could see she was used to living a certain way...she didn’t have to go on and on about it because you could see it from the way she was.

What’s my point?

Well, that’s fine if you were spoiled (hell, Pop was too), but I think to sit here in reveal in your own upbringing the way some (NOT ALL) of you have done is TASTELESS. It’s fine to say “I have high standards, I want certain things from certain people, I want certain things from life” because anyone with any self-respect does that. But the WAY some things were put was quite irritating, and maybe that’s why some people balked when they saw it.

God help me, I didn’t mean to offend anyone, but I had to speak my mind.

Peace and blessings...sorry so long.

[AKA2D '91]

NO offense taken...

I see where you are coming from, but here on the internet,one can and cannot disdain WHO and WHAT...


So, having someone attack a thread or someone's post and one comes in and says...is this a joke? No, it ain't a joke!

That's when I got irritated! Then my humbleness and meekness of who I am WENT OUT THE WINDOW! Anyone who knows me PERSONALLY, knows me, and HOW I am!
But when you "challenge" me, if you will, and ask me who I am, etc. then hey...Sista gotta say, what a sista gotta say!

*Review the thread*

...and that's ALL I have to say!

[PositivelyAKA]

Originally posted by BlueReign:
Dam!! Is this for real? AKA Monet "ARE YOU FOR REAL?" and any other "WOMAN" who responded likewise.

Yall got some serious growing up to do. What would you do if your money making husband became seriously ill, and you exhausted all of your savings, etc. WOULD YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM -- AFTER YOUR VOWS OF FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. I say this because I've been there. And while there is nothing my family would not do to help me and us, I prefer to be as independent as I can.

Are you all grown-up college-educated black women talking in the year 2001 about being spoiled and depending on your loved ones to continue to spoil you? Don't forget we have a new administration and no telling what that may bring?

Again I ask is this a joke? Cause I'm not getting it.

BlueReign, How dare you!! come onto an AKA board and tell my sorors that they have some growing up to do or question if they are college educated. WHO do you think you are? i would never disrespect you and your sorors by doing such a thing. its obvious that you misunderstood what they were saying, so where do you get off trying to set my sorors straight on our board your tone and your language were uncalled for. and my sorors were all too kind to even offer you an explanation, when they didn't owe you one. i can overlook many things, but in the future if you a sgrho do not like what my sorors of AKA post on OUR board then go vent on your own board about it, but please do not bring that mess over here.


[This message has been edited by PositivelyAKA (edited January 09, 2001).]

[AKA2D '91]

SHAKING MY HEAD AT SOROR!

I love ya though! It's all Good, Soror!

LOL!

***Who let the DOGS OUT?***

I guess I should have said..."IVY"...

Just a bit of Humor, during this time of MAD DRAMA!

[Poplife]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
So, having someone attack a thread or someone's post and one comes in and says...is this a joke? No, it ain't a joke!

That's when I got irritated! Then my humbleness and meekness of who I am WENT OUT THE WINDOW! Anyone who knows me PERSONALLY, knows me, and HOW I am!

But when you "challenge" me, if you will, and ask me who I am, etc. then hey...Sista gotta say, what a sista gotta say!

I understand where you are coming from as well. I admit I wondered if this thread was serious. *lol* I read it over and over and then waited to see what other people to posted. I hate wondering. It's better to ASK so you can know what's up.

Believe it or not we have alot in common. I'm not the sweetest person when someone tries to disrespect me and I ALWAYS say my peace, even if people around me don't like it. But hey, that's another thread!

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet:
Anyhow, Midwestdiva, you are no peasant in my domain, you are a part of the court!!! Maybe the next one in line!!!

Thank you your highness.

As a sidenote:
Every princess that responded to this post is not an AKA. I didn't see anyone disrespecting Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. so I don't know why some feel so offended. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Don't sweat the small stuff.

------------------
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost

[BlueReign]

Originally posted by PositivelyAKA:
BlueReign, How dare you!! come onto an AKA board and tell my sorors that they have some growing up to do or question if they are college educated. WHO do you think you are? i would never disrespect you and your sorors by doing such a thing. its obvious that you misunderstood what they were saying, so where do you get off trying to set my sorors straight on our board your tone and your language were uncalled for. and my sorors were all too kind to even offer you an explanation, when they didn't owe you one. i can overlook many things, but in the future if you a sgrho do not like what my sorors of AKA post on OUR board then go vent on your own board about it, but please do not bring that mess over here.

Goodness! I apologize. I didn't mean to offend anyone on anybody's "board" whether it's AKA or DST or whatever. I was just expressing my opinion that is all. Besides, if you read all the posts, I did thank your Soror AKAtude for setting me straight!!!!

And from now on I will post anywhere I please as I have always done.

[Convinced]

I think we all need a group hug.

[PositivelyAKA]

Originally posted by MIDWESTDIVA:
Thank you your highness.

As a sidenote:
Every princess that responded to this post is not an AKA. I didn't see anyone disrespecting Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. so I don't know why some feel so offended. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Midwestdiva you could have really kept your sidenote to yourself. the comment was made to some of my sorors on our board, so if i or another soror of AKA is offended or not, what is that to you. so why don't you Take a deep breath, count to ten and then mind your own business. thanks.