Keep these things in mind

[shadokat]

AMEN to DeltaBetaBaby & daoine!

Originally posted by daoine
Ditto. There's nothing worse than a snap judgment -- and these things happen all the time during rush. Making more snap judgments just amplifies the negativity.

If you go to every party you can and still don't feel comfortable, then you at least can walk away with the knowledge that you opened yourself up to all possibilities.


[edited because I can't spell judgment properly]

[allGreek01]

While I agree with some of what has been said on this thread (ex: not feeling sympathetic to people who drop out of rush when their top house doesn't invite them back), I think a lot of you are just taking this way too seriously. I don't see how offering someone advice is dirty rush when they have asked for people's input on an internet message board dedicated to Greek Life. I have yet to see anyone be offered a bid on Greek Chat from another Greek Chat member. These potential members are just looking for advice, and that is what they are getting. Unless anyone on here is a Rush Counselor at that person's school, these girls should be intelligent enough to know that anything they are told should be taken with a grain of salt because all the sorority members are doing is relating their own experiences. What is wrong with that? Anyone foolish enough to believe they are getting a formula for getting into a sorority is just delusional. There are no guarantees in anything in life.

All of the people on here offering good luck and advice are just offering it from their own kindness. I think this post is just turning into a pet peeve check list-- if you don't like "wading through all of the good luck and congratulations notes," the next page link is a click away. I think if I were a potential new member, I would appreciate the support and good luck messages Greek Chat provides. How can you possibly think that anything the new girls are reading, they are taking as a guarantee that they will get a bid to every house? If anything, this board helps their self-esteem and helps them to feel more at ease at the parties.

[AchtungBaby80]

allGreek01, that's exactly what I would've said if I hadn't been too chicken.

[33girl]

allgreek01 -

I don't know if you've been lurking for a while, or if this is your first post after being here for 2.5 seconds, but PLEASE READ THIS THREAD AGAIN.

Women HAVE experienced consequences in real life because of what they divulged or didn't on GC (not necessarily now but in the past), and there ARE people going over the line in their "encouragement." If we seem like we're being a bunch of sour old biddies, it's only because we are concerned for the PNMs and their feelings.

[MTSUGURL]

Originally posted by 33girl
If we seem like we're being a bunch of sour old biddies, it's only because we are concerned for the PNMs and their feelings.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why we love our GC alums.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by kddani
The basic point is: don't build false hopes and don't say something that's not true just to try to be encouraging. You can be encouraging without building false hopes.

(italics added for emphasis)

I've read and reread this thread a couple times, and I think this is one of the lines that could be the sum and total without bordering on a "b & m" session. This year's Forum is SO different from last year's, with the endless "shameless plugs"!! I think the GChatters have been very good at encouraging without making any promises.

I've read too many threads where a pnm was ambivilant and then ended up loving the sorority she pledged.

I've seen pnms who genuinely want & need the information that we can give them, and watched them flourish under the encouragement given.

I've seen my house cut, and been broken hearted when a pnm - especially one I've grown to love as a person! - is cut. It happens. It's part of rush. I think it would be downright non-panhellenic NOT to be encouraging at that moment!

Is anyone here so completely self-confident that you never, ever need some encouragement? I highly doubt it!

I was raised to be an encourager - I'm a counselor, for heaven's sake! - but not a liar. I see nothing wrong with wishing someone well, or encouraging them to be the best they can be.

[justamom]

Boy, this is such a fine line. Sometimes, when I read a thread, I just KNOW things are not going well. (I bet most of us can spot it as well) Not always right, but usually am because the signals are there. Then I will read something that tries to put things in a positive light with a little too much "positive" and I literally get sick to my stomach because I THINK I see what's coming.

All the reasons for and against "encouragement" are well thought out and valid. Sometimes prior to individual rush threads, I wish we would talk about the signs women could spot or at least consider when they are making their choices.

As an example,should a girl have the obligation to cut a few sororites along her way, she may cut one or more beautiful groups of women hoping for a specific one or two chapters. Lets say in the later rounds she is cut by both. She is left with fewer alternatives than had she been able to spot the signs early on.

Oh, I know this is full of holes and probably would never work and perhaps it all evens out in the end. But the thing I most recall
was how my daughter pegged not only who she didn't fit with, but told me the night before who was going to cut her. She was 90% correct. There are signs early on...at least in a lot of instances there are.

[kddani]

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
I meant that I am not sorry you did not find a home IF you did not even go to all your parties and give all the chapters a chance.

Woohoo, another CHB club to join!

*Disclaimer* what i'm about to say is not directed towards any particular PNM, it's all a general statement.

I wouldn't ever tell someone to sign a bid card somewhere they're not sure of. That's the only way you're bound, is if you sign that card.

There's been girls who get 4 invites in a later round at a VERY competitive school and drop out without even going to those parties, just b/c the "glamorous" houses that they loved weren't on them. We're not talking 1, or even 2 more "lowly" options- we're talking about 4 houses that could each be great! To not give any of them another chance just kinda sucks

An idea to think about for PNMs who might do this- some of you have a bad day, or a bad party (maybe you weren't feeling well when you visited your favorite house). Wouldn't YOU want to be given a second chance? Wouldn't you probably complain on here about not giving a second chance? Then give some of these houses a second or even third chance- as long as you don't sign a bid card, what is it going to hurt you?

ETA- swallow your pride. You may not be as "cool" as you think you are (some of the threads over at that stupid partyschool site come to mind). Of course this only needs said in a VERY few situations.

/end rant. It just seems that i've seen a story like this a few times this rush season.

[MoxieGrrl]

Originally posted by kddani
ETA- swallow your pride. You may not be as "cool" as you think you are (some of the threads over at that stupid partyschool site come to mind). Of course this only needs said in a VERY few situations.

*singing* "Did you ever know that you're my heeerrroooo....??" Rock on, dani!

I have not seen this on GC, but in real life....Girls who give reasons for cutting like "I didn't like their National Philanthropy" Oh puh-lease! Yeah, XYZ's philantropy of helping kids or whatever is soooo against my ethical and moral beliefs too. Just come right out and say, "I hated them and their rush chair stole my boyfriend." There is a time to be diplomatic and sometimes it just makes you look dumb.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by justamom
I wish we would talk about the signs women could spot or at least consider when they are making their choices.

Maybe this is the option that we should really be investigating? I'm sure that each of us can contribute to a list of "signs things aren't going well with a sorority during rush".

[KappaKittyCat]

Originally posted by MoxieGrrl
Girls who give reasons for cutting like "I didn't like their National Philanthropy" Oh puh-lease! Yeah, XYZ's philantropy of helping kids or whatever is soooo against my ethical and moral beliefs too. Just come right out and say, "I hated them and their rush chair stole my boyfriend."

Sorry, but this made me CTFU!

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by justamom

Oh, I know this is full of holes and probably would never work and perhaps it all evens out in the end. But the thing I most recall
was how my daughter pegged not only who she didn't fit with, but told me the night before who was going to cut her. She was 90% correct. There are signs early on...at least in a lot of instances there are.

This is easier for a freshman than for an upperclassman, though. I could pinpoint some of the groups that were going to cut me because we just plain didn't have a great conversation, but there were others that I connected with, but they cut me regardless (possibly because they didn't want to take a sophomore?). Also, at Greek systems that aren't as competitive as LSU, even if you don't connect with a sorority during first rounds, you may be asked back. There are some places where it's not going to be so cut-and-dried as schools like LSU.

I think your suggestion about the signs things have gone wrong is a good one, though, and is something that rushees might benefit from reading -- although I vote we hold off on discussing it until sometime after the fall rush blitz, to avoid reopening wounds of some of the girls who didn't have a happy rush ending.

[justamom]

You are so right-now is NOT the time! "To everything there is a season..." and smack dab in the middle of rush is NOT the right season.

A lot of you weren't around, but two years ago, it was suggested, and some DID, to change names or remove your letters from your signature. It was so a well liked poster would not be associated with a GLO even subconsciously. WOW have we ever dropped THAT practice!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Even if you know NOTHING about the chapters going into rush, you can tell as you are rushing which ones are more "popular." Whether you admit it or not, I don't know a single girl in her teens or early twenties who is mature enough not to be influenced by the chapter with the nicest house, best looking girls, and mixers with the hot frats.

It's true, we all did it, myself included. In fact, I am lucky that I was cut hard one round, because otherwise I may have been stupid enough not to join the chapter where I belonged.

[PM_Mama00]

PNM's and New Member's should also remember that as they are telling their stories, even after recruitment is over, to please refrain from making comments that could offend members of that GLO. I would hate to come on here and see someone who had rushed at UMD saying something rude about my chapter.