How To Be A Gentleman - Page 3

MoonStar17 · #31 08-14-2003, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shelacious
Bold the word "SOME". THIS woman appreciates all the above. There are indeed still some of us who can appreciate gentlemanly courtesy for what is while still not sacrificing our personal and career goals!

DITTO!!!

MoonStar17 · #32 08-14-2003, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
A man will always open the car door for a woman when they are getting into the car.

Also, a good girl will reach across the seat and unlock your door after you let her in . . . I dated a sorority girl who never did that. I decided we weren't going to last. It was a deal breaker.

I DO THAT!!!!!

does that make me a "good girl"???

Dolphingirl14 · #33 08-14-2003, 02:18 PM

I ALWAYS unlock the door for guys. I do that for anyone. I think after seeing that scene in the move A Bronx Tale when I was younger made me think to do it. I've been doing it ever since!

DeltaSigStan · #34 08-14-2003, 02:36 PM

At Convention, this Chi O alum and her husband (A Phi Delt) did a seminar on ettiquitte during a luncheon. It was funny watching the bros trying to remember which way to pass the bread and spool pasta, especially when they were cut into 2 inch long strips.

Apparently this Chi O alum has been the house mother at 3 different universities, is a big supporter of Delta Sig, but also gives ettiquite seminars at Conventions like this, and she also writes books.

Oh thats right! Her nam is Mom Nonnie I think.

navane · #35 08-14-2003, 06:59 PM

I remember one particular date I went on a few years ago. He came to the door to pick me up and, when we got to the car, he opened the door for me. I thanked him and got in. As he walked around, I leaned over and unlocked his car door. After he got in, he turned to me and told me that he was really impressed that I had done that! He added something to the effect of, "You've just scored some major bonus points".

Though, nowadays, the remote control power locks sorta ruin that whole concept.

Also, I have a funny story about "Southern Gentlemen". Before I was born, my grandparents retired from the family headquarters in Chicago to the Arkansas countryside. In the lovely city of Searcy, Arkansas is Harding University. A couple years ago, my sister and I went out to see our grandfather. He had this idea to go to the university just to walk around and have a coffee. Now, this building we were in had a very long hallway separated by a couple sets double doors and a few steps down.

My grandpa, being 90 years old, needed a little extra hand whenever we got to the doors and steps. On one occassion, I held the door for him as my sister helped him down the stairs. Just then, the bell rang (yes, they have a bell system there!!) and all of the students started pouring into the hallway to switch classes. It got a bit chaotic and I just stood there holding the door because so many people were rushing through. I figured it would take a while for my sister and grandad to get to the next set of doors anyway so I just held the door open for the students.

As I stood there briefly, I noticed a lot of female students going past. I recall thinking to myself, "Wow, there sure are an awful lot of girls going to this university!" Just then, I happened to turn and look back towards where we had just come from. There was a whole line of guys standing along the wall behind me! I looked at them funny and sorta waved my hand as if to signal them to come along through the doorway. They just gave me an amused look and one guy sort of nodded his head as if to say "No, YOU go through."

Then the lightbulb went on in my head and I realized that they were waiting for me, the lady, to go through first! We all had a bit of a laugh about it. I exclaimed, "Ah yes, well, I'm from Southern California - I'm not used to gentlemanlike behavior. I sometimes think the men expect the women to hold the door open for *them*!"

Then, the guy nearest to me took the door from me and I went through. By then the hall was clearing up and I saw my sister and grandpa slightly ahead. I continued on towards the next door. As I did, that same guy looked at the door, then back at me and then *ran* ahead to the next door so that I couldn't get to it first! hehehe

I don't think they necessarily meant it in a chauvnist way as if they would be disgraced to walk through a door when a woman was holding it. I think it had more to do with the fact that I had been standing there for a while already. I guess they didn't think it was right for a lady to stand there holding the door open for a few hundred people.

I did think that was sweet of them. Though, I think that's they only time I've ever stopped men in their tracks.

.....Kelly

DeltAlum · #36 08-14-2003, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hootie
Here's my list of things I like a guy to do for me to prove he's respectful and a gentleman:

Hey Hootie,

It occurs to me that I would hope that my daily actions would make it unnecessary to "prove" I'm a gentleman.

Tom Earp · #37 08-14-2003, 07:22 PM

First off, if your the age of some of us, Your Mother Taught you how to be a gentleman!

Wear clean underware, maybe in a wreck!

Open the door for your date, pick up at the door not honk horn, pull out the ladys chair, dont be crude ) Talk Dirty, if smokes light her Cigarette, get her drinks, know basic dancing steps, or dont look like a geek, comb hair, wear clean cloths, don look like a rapper! Could go on and on! Live and learn! If you screw up, you will know damn quick!

DeltAlum · #38 08-18-2003, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tom Earp

Wear clean underware, maybe in a wreck!

Open the door for your date, pick up at the door not honk horn...

My grandmother used to say the thing about being in a wreck all the time. Strange.

Absolutely agree on honking the horn, and, even more important, walk your date (or friend) to the door at the end of the evening -- don't drop her off at the curb. That's a matter of manners and safety.

Optimist Prime · #39 08-18-2003, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltAlum
My grandmother used to say the thing about being in a wreck all the time. Strange.

Absolutely agree on honking the horn, and, even more important, walk your date (or friend) to the door at the end of the evening -- don't drop her off at the curb. That's a matter of manners and safety.

Yes it is. But like most things about how to be a gentleman, it only works in theory. Girls on GC will all say things like "AWWWW i would love if a guy did that" but then when a guy does it they'll be like "um.....i don't need to be walked to the door there buddy." Girls only like gentlemanly behavior from the gentleman they're interested in.

Optimist Prime · #40 08-18-2003, 04:52 PM

Also, about the insult thing. I would ignore an insult directed towards me, but if they lady i was escorting was insulted, i would challenge the other party to duel. Sword fighting should be institionalized. And if some one dies from a duel, then oh well. No reprucrisions, criminal or civil, should be taken from some one who willingly engages in swordfights.

DeltAlum · #41 08-18-2003, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
No reprucrisions, criminal or civil, should be taken from some one who willingly engages in swordfights.

Uh, sure. Whatever you say.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #42 08-18-2003, 06:17 PM

I don't think Hootie meant it like that. I think she was trying to say, "if a guy does x, y, and z, what else could he BE but a gentleman?"

This thread makes me laugh -- my daddy's an AKL and the ONLY thing he used to tell me about his fraternity (he thought they'd died off so he was sad to talk about it, until I went to school and found a chapter there!) was that they had etiquette classes once a month, and he'd taught most of them. Which he was very proud of.

I also dated a Kappa Sigma for a little under a year and in their pledge book, they had page after page of what to do in certain situations. Everything from tying a tie to which spoon to use.

Do y'all think it's rude to "teach" guys to do certain things? I was absolutely head over heels for my Kappa Sigma, but in his family the same things weren't important when he was growing up, so we valued different things. I'm very, very used to walking on the building side of the street. Once I explained to him why, I don't think I ever walked on the street side again. I didn't do it nastily, just explained why I did it, and how the tradition started. Is that weird?

I haven't seen anyone mention the staircase thing -- on a small staircase (e.g. one in a house) where only one person can pass at a time, the guy goes up the stairs last and down the stairs first. That way if the girl trips over her skirt (or, more likely today, her heels) she falls into him -- not the rest of the way down to the landing.

DeltAlum · #43 08-18-2003, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Do y'all think it's rude to "teach" guys to do certain things? I was absolutely head over heels for my Kappa Sigma, but in his family the same things weren't important when he was growing up, so we valued different things. I'm very, very used to walking on the building side of the street. Once I explained to him why, I don't think I ever walked on the street side again. I didn't do it nastily, just explained why I did it, and how the tradition started. Is that weird?

No, I don't think it's rude at all -- and I would go a step beyond and say that if the man is truly trying to be a gentleman, he will not be offended, but grateful for learning something new.

AlphaSigOU · #44 08-18-2003, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Also, about the insult thing. I would ignore an insult directed towards me, but if they lady i was escorting was insulted, i would challenge the other party to duel. Sword fighting should be institionalized. And if some one dies from a duel, then oh well. No reprucrisions, criminal or civil, should be taken from some one who willingly engages in swordfights.

I'd feel the same way, but unfortunately dueling is considered murder if someone dies as a result of it. In the military, the Uniform Code of Military Justice actually has a specific article prohibiting dueling.

The last time dueling was actively promoted as a way to settle questions of honor was during WW II in Hitler's Germany.

Here's a site on the history of dueling: http://www.isidore-of-seville.com/dueling/ . And another on the rules of dueling: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/duel/sf...ofdueling.html

lifesaver · #45 08-18-2003, 07:30 PM

I always stand when a lady arrives at the table or is leaving the table. It gets such cool kid points for me from the ladies in the know and they are impressed. UNFORTUNATELY, there are even ladies, er, females who dont even know what I am doing. Anyway I do it as a sign of respect.

The other thing I am always doing is putting my hand on the small of a ladies back to guide her through a crowd. UNLESS we are at a huge, rather rowdy event and we need to get through a crowd in a hurry, then I useually have her hook onto my beltloop with her fingers so I can elbow peeps outta the way to make a clearing. Now thats prolly not very gentlemanly. lol.