Some parents dont watch their kids. - Page 3

Lady Pi Phi · #1 08-02-2003, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aephi alum
...you wouldn't put a dog or cat in a harness (unless it's a seeing-eye dog, but that's different)

Sorry hijack...

but you might put a dog in a harness. One might put a dog in a harness, even if it's not a seeing eye dog, becuase they have they tendency to pull, and therefore break collars and leashes. Also, smaller dogs will be put in harnesses of sorts because if you were to put a leash on their collar you could snap their neck.

Many dogs are put into harnesses.

Now I'm not saying it';s ok to put a child in a harness because I think that's awful, but it's not an accurate comparison to say you wouldn't put a dog in a harness, why a child.

carnation · #2 08-02-2003, 03:01 PM

Has anybody noticed that the people who are anti-harness are the ones who haven't been parents yet? I don't care how many kids you've babysat, that doesn't count, nor does working in a daycare center. I was the perfect parent too..before I had kids. Whole new ballgame then.

I was anti-harness too until BlazerCheer and Ballerina were bolters when they were toddlers. They had a sister a year older and 2 younger sisters. The twin stroller for the babies was difficult to handle and if one of us was maneuvering that, the other did not have 3 hands for leading the toddlers and preschooler. Sooo...we used harnesses and the girls' psyches weren't harmed and before long, we didn't have to use them because the girls got over the "bolting" stage.

We didn't use harnesses on the next 8 kids but we would have had we needed to. When you're a conscientious parent, you do what you have to to protect your children.

aephi alum · #3 08-02-2003, 03:17 PM

So what if I'm not a parent yet. I still don't like the idea of putting my child in a harness if a wrist tether, or better yet the "invisi-leash", is sufficient. (Notice I say "if".)

Jill1228 · #4 08-02-2003, 03:36 PM

My mom hated leashes and refused to put us in one...
Not that she needed it...

All it took was the LOOK of death and knowing you were getting an ass-whuppin to keep us in line

starang21 · #5 08-02-2003, 03:45 PM

y'all know how i feel on this subject. the death look followed by a fast hand kept us in line. eff a leash....the belt works fine.

starang21 · #6 08-02-2003, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jill1228

Shuddering at the memory of my mom whuppin me in the middle of the store...it was the last time I acted a fool in a store!

cereal aisle, JC Penny, you name it. shoot, out in the open in FRONT of folks!!

Jill1228 · #7 08-02-2003, 05:32 PM

Amen brotha!
Moms did it with her shoe. This little lady, barely 5 feet tall, was trying to call my mom out on spanking me...

Moms wasn't having that...she pulled up to her full height (nearly 5'10.5) and was wielding her shoe and said to the lady:
Unless you want some of this, you better back the EFF off!"

and needless to say....since you embarrased her in public, you got some more when you got home!

My Moms is a sistah who does NOT play! We are tallking RUFF NECK

Quote:

Originally posted by starang21
cereal aisle, JC Penny, you name it. shoot, out in the open in FRONT of folks!!

Jill1228 · #8 08-02-2003, 05:35 PM

You had 10 kids?! DAYUMN! I bow to you...

But I agree with you....with the crazy mo-fos that are out here today you gotta do what you gotta do to protect your kids!

PS Can't wait till my internet is up at home so I can find my cool smilies

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
We didn't use harnesses on the next 8 kids but we would have had we needed to. When you're a conscientious parent, you do what you have to to protect your children.

Silverblue · #9 08-02-2003, 05:49 PM

OK, Jill, now I'M afraid of your mother!

I went through a bolting phase. Whenever my mother sees a small child on a leash in public, she remarks that she wishes she'd had one of those when I was that age. If we were in a store with a toy department, I could disappear in a split-second. On the up side, they always knew where to find me. (This was before we were all so worried about child abductions.)

Knowing how quickly I could slip away, if I had children who did the same thing, you bet I'd harness them up!

carnation · #10 08-02-2003, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aephi alum
So what if I'm not a parent yet. I still don't like the idea of putting my child in a harness if a wrist tether, or better yet the "invisi-leash", is sufficient. (Notice I say "if".)

I wish that a wrist tether had been sufficient enough! We tried it but they would bolt so hard and fast that their arms were almost dislocated. Also, you know what those are closed with? Velcro! It takes 2 seconds for a kid--even a toddler-- to realize that she can just undo that and be FREE! And it is sooo easy to lose a kid at the mall or Disney World.

I wasn't putting you down, aephialum!(I just now realized that my post came after yours and it wasn't aimed at you!) I just get aggravated because it seems like the public is never happy when someone tries to restrain or discipline a child. We cannot abide the wild kind of kid like the first poster described and we try to keep our kids close to us. So-- we used a harness on the twins for safety's sake and got dirty looks. Any time we popped a kid (not beat, popped once on the rear) for tantruming in public, people looked shocked. Likewise if we hollered at anyone.

It seems like if you keep your kids under control in public, people act aghast. If you don't, they act aghast (and should). It seems like a parent can't win.

(Oh, Jill1228--we have 13, not 10!)

aephi alum · #11 08-02-2003, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
I wish that a wrist tether had been sufficient enough! We tried it but they would bolt so hard and fast that their arms were almost dislocated. Also, you know what those are closed with? Velcro! It takes 2 seconds for a kid--even a toddler-- to realize that she can just undo that and be FREE! And it is sooo easy to lose a kid at the mall or Disney World.

Now that, I didn't know. I'd have thought they'd use something sturdier than Velcro!

Now I see why you're pro-harness - I take it they fasten a little more securely? I wish there were something in-between - something that kids can't escape from too easily but that's not as, well, "harness-y" as a harness.

I'm still hoping that my hypothetical future children won't be bolters and that the "invisi-leash" will work most of the time (I'd like to think I learned a few things from mom

). I guess we will just have to see.

Munchkin03 · #12 08-02-2003, 06:08 PM

I noticed that the majority of people posting on this board are not parents--and the ones who have are the ones that no one's agreeing with, like the harnesses and tethers. I'm not one, but I'm not declaring what I am and am not going to do, or what is right or wrong for someone to do. I've seen kids break those tethers in the store, so I can imagine that overwhelmed parents need something a little stronger.

AOIIalum · #13 08-02-2003, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
It seems like if you keep your kids under control in public, people act aghast. If you don't, they act aghast (and should). It seems like a parent can't win.

Amen! Sometimes parents can't please anyone, including themselves and their children. Even the best of children can get antsy when a meal is delayed (or when the kitchen runs out of Macaroni and Cheese!) Sure, I'll agree, there's nothing worse than the parent who isn't watching their child in a public place.

I'm afraid to think that maybe we're regressing to the days of "Children don't speak and don't exist unless spoken to." Trust me, I don't want to return to my childhood (my parents were children of the Depression/WW2 years, and I was born in the mid-60s.) I was never beaten or tied up or anything like that, thankfully. Neither were my kids, but yes they've been spanked, they've been bopped and they've been physically restrained when necessary.

What did I learn from my own childhood? My kids have the right to express their opinions to adults with respect. They can request a particular meal or restaurant, and expect to find at least one part of the meal be something they truly enjoy eating. They can explore their own interests when it comes to extracurriculars (and all 3 are middle school and younger.) They choose their own bedroom layouts (to a point), and have input on their wardrobe and hairstyle (and all 3 are boys.) They have input on major family decisions, whether it's family vacation or sports team participation, or which summer camp they attend. They are allowed to be individuals while they are part of our family.

Does this make me a perfect parent? Absolutely not, trust me I'm not even close--but we have 3 healthy honor roll kids who are active in drama and band, sports, and they each have plenty of friends. We must be doing something right, even if one of these kids did need restraints. He wasn't restrained because we were mean, not because we couldn't "control" him, and not because he was "bad." There were times that he needed to be Safe, and that's how we could ensure his safety. Assumptions can be scary things, folks. Please, don't assume that just because a parent chooses to use physical restraints that it's for negative reasons.

Even the very best of parents and very best of children can have problems in public. If a parent sincerely tries to do the right thing for their child, there's someone out there who thinks they are WRONG WRONG WRONG. There's no winning sometimes, and we parents don't ever know if we get it right until our children are finally grown and on their own. Hopefully, all of us who are parents--and all of us who may be one day--do get it right for our children and our families.

Christin

Shine · #14 08-03-2003, 03:20 AM

I worked at a summer camp for 11 weeks two summers ago. I had a dozen 6-12 year old girls in my SOLE care for the entire time.

I'm not a person that believes in physical discipline, but I'll tell you, while I was up at that camp, I learned a lot about appreciating what moms do, and most of that time I wished I had 12 leashes attatched to the girls and hooked to my belt.

I'll never be a parent that spanks or slaps, but I think if my children are the sort that would need something like a wrist leash or a harness, I'd be all for that if it means keeping them safe and me sane.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #15 08-03-2003, 02:24 PM

I believe completely in leashes and other devices such as these. I may not be a parent but I have 8 neices and nephews all but one under the age of 8. (12, 9, 8, 5, 4, 3, and 2 2 year olds) All the people saying they wouldn't put their child on these, I ask this, Have you ever been in a shoulder to shoulder event and not feel that little hand in yours?? Be at an amusement park and look down and not see them there? It's the scariest thing you could EVER happen to you! The children may be well behaved but they can and will become separated from you. Some devices such as these are a great help as you'll learn.