Are you worried about our society?

[Rudey]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
don't worry
people used to believe
that our generation would never see a war
but it happened
and it's not over
we're going to reap the just rewards
our society has spoiled us to the point
that some guys can't even change a tire
or change spark plugs in a car
or will even get their hands dirty
they just call AAA

i believe we will experience hardship one day
what am i talking about?
more than half of this nation's college graduates
will not have a job after they get their diplomas
we're already there

I'm not going to address the thread really because I'm so smart I already know all the answers. I just wanted to say I find how you post to be strange. It's like you're trying to write poetry or something.

-Rudey
--Getting all iambic pentameter on GC.

[midwesterngirl]

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Again, I would just ask that you don't paint all parents with the same brush. A lot of parents do care.

Our daughter worked in the daycare industry for a while, and will do just about anything to keep her daughter out of it. So, she and her husband have different days off. She spends a lot of her free time figuring out grandparents schedules (including ours) so that the baby is always with a family member. (We watch her two to three days a week)

In our case, we simply decided to take a huge financial hit when our first was born so Mrs. DeltAlum could stay home with the children. It was difficult, but we managed. I'm not sure that our daughter and husband could do that on their entry level salaries in this economy.

You see parenthood from a very jaded perspective, as you watch people drop their children off in your care and drive off in their matching Beemers. (No, before anyone starts, all working parents and BMW drivers aren't bad parents -- simply using a stereotype for the sake of illustration) All parents aren't like that, and I suspect your 70% number is pretty high.

The 70% also includes the school age children who sit in a classroom all day and then come to my daycare afterwards.I personally thought that I was being generous with that percentage.
Yes I am extremely jaded.It pisses me off when I find out that the same children who are waiting for me in the parking lot at 6am are the same ones who are still there at 6 or 6:30 at night when we close.My employers have often thought about staying open later but it would be those same children who stay later and later everynight.I really hate to be cynical but there simply are some parents who don't want to be bothered.There are children in my facility that my staff and I have practically raised ourselves.The interesting thing about this is,it is the children of older parents who are left for long hours in daycare.By older I mean over 25.The children of teenage parents and parents under 25 don't stay as long.Maybe things are starting to swing back around.

[White_Chocolate]

Originally posted by ZTAMiami
Starang:
Don't get me wrong. I am not going to approach discipline so passively. I just don't think that fear teaches. I think it isolates the child and makes them fearful and mistrustful.

AXJules:
I've seen parents who di that to. They are lazy parents. I know working full time and coming home to "deal" with the kids must be rough. The problem is they are just "dealing" and not parenting.

I guess I don't get it
How can you expect a 2 yr old to understand 'No, stop it'
followed by a mean look
the people that I babysit for (BMW, Mercedes drivers)
have a 3 yr old and when they say 'No'
he stops, smiles, and does it again
finally, after the 5th 'No'
they resort to yelling and screaming at him
I guess I think that often parents have no control

And please keep in mind, this generation coming up
If they aren't sterile from drug use or JACKASS maiming stunts
they will be the teenagers/young adults
while my children are growing up

[sigmagrrl]

I'm so worn out with the "Mommy or Daddy gimme/I want" SELFISHNESS I am seeing in kids today...

We live in a very self centered, "narrow view" society. Look at the way some people drive..."Let me in first" or "I'm going to get in front of you first", or even, "I'm going to drive at the pace I want to because I'm in la-la-friggin land over here and you can just follow me down this one lane road where the speed limit is 50, but I want to do 25 b/c I just got a new Cadillac Escalade and I don't want it scratched!!!"

That was a run on, BUT I DIGRESS!

Kids and their parents today go around, not paying attention to how their behavior affects others, they just want what they want when they want it, even if it comes at the expense of others.

I'll give an example:

At my gym, there are 3 changing areas: Women's, Men's, and Family. The Family area is meant for ANYONE who brings a child. It's not MY fault they put it upstairs near the pool, but that's where you azz is supposed to change if you bring a child. BUT NO! I have to deal with naked little boys and girls running around, using the lounge TV and crying and screaming, because Mommy wants to soak in the whirlpool! TOUGH S#!T lady (I only use Mommy and lady cuz I haven't been in the men's room ) you bring a kid to the gym, you use the other changing room! Come alone, you can use the ladies locker area....DAMMIT! I HATE THAT!

But I digress...

We are a narcissistic, overly comfortable, impatient, materialistic, shallow society where you are seen as more valuable and worthy as a person based on how much you earn/what you weigh/how beautiful you are/your position or title. No one truly treasures introspection, honesty, or respect anymore.

Something else I noticed: we are a very lonely society. We can all talk about how we want someone in our life to love, treasured friendships, etc, but how often do you look another person in the eye when you walk down the street? We are drowning in our own loneliness and fear, but are any of us willing to be vulnerable? Even that's seen as a weakness.

I wholly admit to needing others (needy and clingy are two different things). I am also afraid of being hurt. But I do try more than others I know to break thru that imaginary wall of protection we each have around ourselves....

OK, rant over...

For now...

[AXJules]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
I guess I don't get it
How can you expect a 2 yr old to understand 'No, stop it'
followed by a mean look
the people that I babysit for (BMW, Mercedes drivers)
have a 3 yr old and when they say 'No'
he stops, smiles, and does it again
finally, after the 5th 'No'
they resort to yelling and screaming at him

I'm not saying you shouldn't explain consequences and what not at AN APPROPRIATE TIME. But kids that little, with the attention span of an ant, are only going to respond to a few words. You would laugh your ass off if you heard the parents...its like a showcase of all the words they learned in college. "Do not undermind me Kenneth! Jamie this rampage is giving me heart palpitations, I swear to God..." It just cracks me up to hear a kid retort "I think not, Mom" when he's 3 and doesn't even know what it means.

[ZTAMiami]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
I guess I don't get it
How can you expect a 2 yr old to understand 'No, stop it'
followed by a mean look
the people that I babysit for (BMW, Mercedes drivers)
have a 3 yr old and when they say 'No'
he stops, smiles, and does it again
finally, after the 5th 'No'
they resort to yelling and screaming at him
I guess I think that often parents have no control

Thats just it though. They are not parenting, they are just dealing with the kid. Just saying "no, stop it" and not showing the child the correct way doesn't do a thing to better the situation. Showing him how to properly do something and engaging him in an activity would help.

[White_Chocolate]

Yeah, I agree
And this is considering I babysit him
WHILE HIS PARENTS ARE HOME
Yes, folks. . .I am the 'keep him out of our hair' babysitter
He totally minds me because he knows I mean business

And I know that everyone in America wants their kid to be a genius
But is it really necessary to sit a kid
in front of a computer games to learn about shapes and colors
Whatever happened to outside activities
Learning your colors by watching cars pass by
At 3 yrs old, I knew how to skip, find a worm after rainfall, or look for rollie pollies
Kids these days can point, drag, and click
But they don't know what blowing bubbles or chalking up the sidewalk is like
And I think that's sad

[ZTAMiami]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
Yeah, I agree
And this is considering I babysit him
WHILE HIS PARENTS ARE HOME
Yes, folks. . .I am the 'keep him out of our hair' babysitter

Wow, that is so depressing. I don't doubt they love him very much, but wouldn't you think parents would put a little more effort into shaping a life.

[White_Chocolate]

oh, they do love him
they wanted to be able to give him
'a financially stable home'
so they waited until she was 43 to have him
and now, he exerts all of their energy
though he has computer games and videos
and tons of puzzles to keep him busy
and he has a catcher's mitt
but i'm the only one that takes him out
and makes him run after the balls


and i'm there every day during the summer
from 5 to 9 PM(when he goes t sleep)
and every weekend night during the school year
from 9 to 9 PM
i love the money
but i feel like this kid is mine
and i'm raising him

[33girl]

LOL I just had a flashback to the "older parents" thread....

It can be a double edged sword...older parents are either the most attentive cause they've waited so long for a child, or they are too set in their ways and don't know quite what to do with one. These two sound like the latter. I think it also depends a lot on where you live and the general environment. If hands-off parenting is the norm, that's probably what you will do too.

[tinydancer]

Just FYI..
The old heffa that cursed me out yesterday over her grandson's missing library book came back in today just as sweet as pie WITH THE BOOK that she found under the sofa!!!!

Jeez ,lady, if you had looked for it in the first place, we wouldn't have had to put up with all your bs!!!

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by White_Chocolate
ZTAMIAMI:

Do you think that parents should use less 'time outs' and start to view 'disciplinary actions' such as a swat on the behind with their hand?

My mom didn't do the timeout thing with me and my sister. I got whippings and I turned out fine. My little brother, on the other hand, was a 'time out' child who grew a foot and a half taller than my mom by the time he was 15. She couldn't whip him so she would 'take away phone privileges' or 'make him do house chores'. He's worse than me and my sister combined(he was partying by the time he was 16--basketball stardom does that to you). However, when I asked my mom why she never hit him but always got onto us. . .she said that 'disciplinary actions' are looked down upon.

I think that timeout can work in the instance of not sharing toys, not eatting all of your dinner, etc.
However, there are times when a kid needs a couple of swats(not a beat down as some say).

editted to add:
How do you plan on dealing with discipline?

I can only speak for myself, but I have never once laid a hand on either of my daughters nor will I ever. How can you hit someone who is 75 pounds smaller than you? My husband and I have always used the "time out" method with them. I don't mean time out in their rooms where they have books and a television, but time out in a wooden chair in the butlers pantry.

We have been doing this since they were small, and it has always worked. I'm not saying they're perfect, because they're not. They have tantrums and they talk back, just like any kid. But they know that when I start counting them out, if I get to three and they haven't checked their bad behavior, they get their time out.

WC, if your mother had utilized corporal punishment with your brother, do you think he would not have turned out "worse than (your) sister and (you) combined"? Certainly, she would have had to come up with alternative punishment once he had a foot and a half on her, right? I just have to wonder about a punishment that becomes obsolete once the child grows larger than the parent.

Time outs work, but only if used consistently. That is key.

[LeslieAGD]

This is going off the subject of my original post, but after reading all the commentary about parents I wanted to add something. I come from a very family oriented hispanic home. When I didn't have mom or dad around, I had my abuelos (grandma and grandpa). I have an older sister and, though we are quite a few years apart, we were raised mostly the same. However, we are completely differnt people. My sister is the wild one...sex, smoking, tattoos, piercings. I'm the smart and sensible one.

My point is this: in this day and age you can't always account for how your kids will turn out even when you raise them with morals and values. And that's a sad thing. What kids learn from their friends and the media, parents can't always undo.

[XOMichelle]

My mom used to hit us with a wooden spoon. I think it was more to make her feel better than to punish us. It always made me really mad. I don't think I'll do it to my kids, I don't want to set an example that you can be mad and then hit someone.

totally off topic but I've been reading about the Bush 2004 budget... THAT will make you worry about society!
eeekkkkkk

-M

[KSigkid]

Originally posted by Rudey
I'm not going to address the thread really because I'm so smart I already know all the answers. I just wanted to say I find how you post to be strange. It's like you're trying to write poetry or something.

-Rudey
--Getting all iambic pentameter on GC.

Hahaha - no offense to White Chocolate, just thought that post was pretty funny.