Hmm . . .

[PhoenixGrad]

Look...I'm not saying that every single women out there is stupid when (or because) she pledged. What I am saying however is hazing is real...and it comes in all forms. Many think hazing is simply being harmed physically. What about mentally? What about be yelled at as if your a child? What about having to stay up all night even if you have class the next day? What about being told not to speak to other people, or not to look at other sorors, or even be able to go to the bathroom when you need to? For many people..that's just being on line. For others, that's abuse. Where is the line drawn? Do chapters take the time to find out what their pledges limits are? I personally knew of a young woman who had been verbally abused as a child. While on line she nearly had a nervous breakdown because the women kept getting in her face and yelling at her. And though the organization would have truly benefited from her being a member (she was carrying a 4.0 gpa, was a star soccer player, and a classical pianist), she couldn't hack it and dropped line. It was not only a terrible experience for her, but a great loss for the sorority!

[AKAtude]

We have had this discussion so many times in the past. All I can say is that not all chapters are alike because the members in a particular chapter creates its "personality", if you will. As I stated before, I treat people the way I would want to be treated.
No one yelled in my face, and if they did I would have yelled back. No one ever hit me because we wouldn't even get that far. I had a positive experience while on line. That is probably the reason why all of my line sisters and sorors who initiated me keep in touch to this day. I love them as though they are my biological sisters. I'm sorry everyone can't say the same.

[Serenity]

PhoenixGrad,

I understand your point. However, there is a time when we must become accountable for our own actions. This is not "placing the blame on the victim" as someone stated, but simply understanding our own personal boundaries and not putting ourselves in situations where we feel comprimised (for lack of a better word).

As college students (17-21+), most of us knew the difference between right and wrong. No matter what decision we made or the factors that contributed to our decision making, we knew the difference between right and wrong and made our decision accordingly. We may have regretted that decision later on, but ultimately it was our choice to begin with.

I know sometimes there is some gray area. Not everything is black and white. However, even posed with a dilemma you can make a choice that is, at the very least, bearable.

Before I went on line, I didn't know step-by-step what was going to take place - no one does. However, I knew EXACTLY what I WASN'T going to do to earn my letters and I stuck by that. I think most of us do.


------------------
Sincerity, Loyalty, Unity
Sigma Lambda Upsilon: Hasta La Muerte!



[This message has been edited by Serenity (edited June 20, 2000).]

[PhoenixGrad]

Well...I'm glad to hear there are so many astute young ladies out there.

[ManndingoNUPE]

PhoenixGrad,

I believe that we all know that hazing is real, and yes there are different types of hazing. But why would I have to go to each of my potentials and say, "Now Johnny, if I yell at you will I hurt your feelings", maybe I am not being fair in this discussion, becuase I personally believe in pledging, and I wont't appolagize for it. And as defined by law, almost anything that I do to a potential would be hazing, from talking to, not talking to, cutting my eyes the wrong way, whatever.

I trully feel sorry for what happend to the young lady, if it did actually happen. But my thing is, EVERYONE knows before hand that some things might, will, can possibly be done to you that you might find objectionable, offensive, and painfull. As an individual you have to decide, is this what I really want? If the answer is no, then I have more respect for the person who says, "I don't want this, and this is not for me," as opposed to someone who gets on a chat board with a bunch of strangers and says a stupid ass poem. No offense ment, but thats just the way I feel.

If I tell you, "I am going to whip your behind when you go on line", then the decision is up to you. As an adult, you have to make the decision what is best for you. What we haven't really talked about here on this board are the hundreds of people who look to the Fraternities and Sororities to pay thier bills. Lets talk about the people who go on line with the hope of getting hazed so that they can sue the frat or sorrority and get payed! Now I may get some hate mail for this, but like I always say, yawl don't know me, so I really don't give a damn.

I am firm believer in suing a person if I have been wronged, but if someone tells me before hand, that this pot is hot and I may get burned, and I still touch it, then I can't blame them, now can I. It's all about personal responsibility folks.

You can send all hate mail to:

Ireallydon'tgiveaflyingf##k@whooooocares.com

Peace and Luv

[Serenity]

Ummmm, ManndingoNupe, I tried emailing you at the above address and........LOL!

------------------
Sincerity, Loyalty, Unity
Sigma Lambda Upsilon: Hasta La Muerte!

[SkeeBunny]

Since this young lady has more than insinuated that she is a member of my illustrious sorority, I feel obligated to respond (and also to have Soror AKAtude's back). Let me preface this by saying IF THIS IS EVEN REAL, this young lady has issues that do not need to be aired on this public forum. Yes, I pledged and as others have said, there were just some things I wasn't going to go for and I didn't. I have never understood how someone voluntarily comes back every night (or however often), continues throughout the entire process and then decide that they are bitter about what they allowed to happen to them. Why not drop after the first bad experience? I was a psychology major, so I understand that whole "groupthink" theory. I just don't think it applies to this situation. If this young lady did do it because "everybody else was", then that constitutes weak-mindedness in my book and I don't think that weak-minded people have a place in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority anyway. So, like my Soror said, "I think I'll let her walk away."



[This message has been edited by SkeeBunny (edited June 20, 2000).]

[icytre]

I must agree with MandingoNupe. People have an idea of what is going to happen when they plege, so why do they act so surprised?!

[blu_theatrics]

I don't want to take this forum to another topic, because I feel that this girl wether or not she is a member for real hasd problems that need to be discussed and worked on. However, as far as the hazing and stupidity thing that you are speaking about, I think that every person has a different idea of hazing and personally I beleive thatthere is a difference between hazing and pledging. Hazing is unacceptable, but pledging is not only nessary but also productive in my opinion. I am not trying to start a debate or anything, I just think some things, (like defined study time and meetings with your line sisters) help you in the long run, but many believe that that is hazing and I don't

Back to the point, I hope that is this is a joke you would realize that it is not funny and if it is not a joke then go get help and talk to your sorors.

Originally posted by PhoenixGrad:
Look...I'm not saying that every single women out there is stupid when (or because) she pledged. What I am saying however is hazing is real...and it comes in all forms. Many think hazing is simply being harmed physically. What about mentally? What about be yelled at as if your a child? What about having to stay up all night even if you have class the next day? What about being told not to speak to other people, or not to look at other sorors, or even be able to go to the bathroom when you need to? For many people..that's just being on line. For others, that's abuse.

[blu_theatrics]

I agrre with you completely, what would make you continue to go to meat with these people after the first bad experience if it was that terrible.

Originally posted by SkeeBunny:
Since this young lady has more than insinuated that she is a member of my illustrious sorority, I feel obligated to respond (and also to have Soror AKAtude's back). Let me preface this by saying IF THIS IS EVEN REAL, this young lady has issues that do not need to be aired on this public forum. Yes, I pledged and as others have said, there were just some things I wasn't going to go for and I didn't. I have never understood how someone voluntarily comes back every night (or however often), continues throughout the entire process and then decide that they are bitter about what they allowed to happen to them. Why not drop after the first bad experience? I was a psychology major, so I understand that whole "groupthink" theory. I just don't think it applies to this situation. If this young lady did do it because "everybody else was", then that constitutes weak-mindedness in my book and I don't think that weak-minded people have a place in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority anyway. So, like my Soror said, "I think I'll let her walk away."

[This message has been edited by SkeeBunny (edited June 20, 2000).]

[Rhoyal Blue_22]

Is this a joke??? I'm not going to respond with anything as lengthy as previous responses, because everyone has basically hit the point. My only question is-what the hell are you: AKA or DST??? It sounds bogus to me...

[AKA2D '91]

It sounds bogus to me too. Why has this person only posted 2 times. If she has serious problems or matters going on and she wanted to share them with EVERYONE, then why hasn't she posted anymore?

GET A LIFE!

[Corbin Dallas]

hey, did you guys realize that after the thread got going good, the girl who started it hasn't posted again?

just curious.

Originally posted by Corbin Dallas:
hey, did you guys realize that after the thread got going good, the girl who started it hasn't posted again?

Yes, I did notice that.

Sorry to hear about your process, but you are now a member and therefore you have pledged loyalty for life to your sorority. As someone else stated, your organization is bigger and better than the campus that you pledged. It serves a larger organization. If you are really a member than you must have line sisters who can talk with you, along with others to get you through this. They can belittle you, but you know who you really are. Besides, if you give up than who will be around to make sure the next ones are not humiliated like you were. Stand up and Stand tall, you can do it. You made it this far.