Letters while partying - Double standard for guys/girls?

[James]

"Society" isn't critical of girls per se. Girls are critical of other girls.

If you look at the endless threads on here about conduct, its not the boys that are calling girls names or being critical, its other girls.

In fact, when I have come across girls with reputations etc those reputations have almost always originated with other girls.

Do women even like each other? Because it seems they can be really hateful towards one another.

Originally posted by Lynzi
Sorority girls often get stereotyped....like we all act like those "sorority girls gone wild" tapes. I think the rules exist not only out of respect for our letters, but also because the general (non greek) public sees us at bars, and seeing a drunk girl who's acting like an idiot with letters on just adds weight to the "sorority girls are _______(sluts/partiers/drunks)" image.
We don't wear our letters in a bar even if we're not drinking, and never to parties where there's alcohol.
The double standard exists everywhere - not just in the greek system. A guy can be drunk all the time and sleep with every girl he can get, and still be fine; even if he gets a rep as a player, other guys will still look up to him. A girl only has to get publicly drunk and do something stupid once, and can get a reputation or have one ruined. The problem isn't with the greek system, it's with society as whole. It just gets even more scrutiny within the greeks because a large group is easier to attack. Think about it: what makes better gossip: "there was this girl in a black skirt at the bar last night. She was such a ho." or "there was an XYZ at the bar last night...they are such hos."
That's just how I see it....

[LeslieAGD]

Originally posted by kdonline
I know this topic has been discussed on a few other threads, but I wanted to focus on more of an "equality" issue, rather than the actions themselves.

So, how can we, as sorority members, say "don't drink or smoke with your letters on!" but then, climb up onstage and do a pole dance, with a thong hanging out of lowcut jeans? Just because it's in the "privacy" of a fraternity house? PULEEZE! We all know how "private" they can be..

There IS a double standard, so why do fraternity members push sorority members to the limit?

Originally posted by James
I think the thrust of kdonline's original post was more along the lines of:

1. Do boys know that girls have rules about behavior in letters and out.

2. And if so, why do boys put pressure on girls to engage in behaviors that could get them in trouble in or out of letters.

Please correct me if I am wrong

I think this thread is going in two different directions.

* Is there an equality issue? Yes.

* Does it really make a difference whether people are in of out of letters? Maybe, maybe not.

Some people are going to act stupid in or out of letters, as many have mentioned. Personally, I don't think the "everyone knows I am an ABC member" argument holds water all the time, because there are likely GDI's and people you don't know at the social/party/bar/etc...some people even think that not wearing letters gives them the anominity to do dumb things. For example, there was once a situation with two girls getting a little too "friendly" and naked at a party in exchange for some alcohol because they were dared by some of the guys. Now, their sorority sisters tried to talk them out of it and even offered to go buy them some alcohol so they wouldn't do it. This was clearly a situation where they were just looking to be reckless and took up the first opportunity. Of course, the guys got out cameras, spread the word about it to the whole greek system the next day, and the girls got in major trouble for it.

If you're of age, drinking responsibly, and not acting a fool, it shouldn't matter whether you're male or female or have letters on or not.

[Lynzi]

In fact, when I have come across girls with reputations etc those reputations have almost always originated with other girls.

One of my friends has slept with three guys (at different times...) in the same fraternity over the past two years. We have never termed her a slut, but they have. This is beside the fact that one of these guys sleeps with every girl he can get, and one of the others sleeps around quite a bit, too. It was agreed between her and those two guys that this was "just for fun...", and she had a relationship with the other. She's the one with the bad rep, not them (even though we don't particularly like them and they really don't have a chance with the girls we hang around with, greek or otherwise).
I agree that girls do more name calling/backstabbing than boys, but we also criticize boys. The guys are often pretty guilty in starting and spreading bad reputations for girls, yet seem to be immune from criticism for the same actions from other guys.
Case in point: a guy we've nicknamed manwhore for obvious reasons. Another guy hears it and says, "No, he's not that bad, he's a good guy." Whereas, with a girl, it's more along the lines of "Oh, she's nice, but she sleeps with everyone." So a guy can get away with using girls for sex, but a girl can only sleep with her boyfriend.....that's the double standard that I see.
Sorry so long (and off topic)

[meheron]

My letters means a lot to me and it took a lot of time on my part to be able to wear them. (In KAO you can't wear letters until you are initiated). The letters that I wear mean a lot and I respect those. I don't even like to drink in a room that letters are in such as in my living room where my composite is or paddles. Anyway the worst is when I see guys in my letters like an event shirt and they are drinking. I know that people associate them with our chapter.

Another problem is if you have a sister that is out of control at parties. I don't care if you have letters on or not, some people know you from classes or from walking down the street and if they see you doing rude and obnoxious things at a party then you are automatically associated with our chapter and people assume that all of us are that way. I am very adiment about this subject because when I was an active we had a sister who did send out a bad reputation. I can say that she was soon no longer a sister. (For that reason and for some other legal issues)