worried - Page 3

dzsaigirl · #31 08-02-2002, 12:51 AM

What about greek life do you like? Seriously.

justamom · #32 08-02-2002, 08:16 AM

I haven't read your other posts, but I feel how disappointed you are. Being an active in the '70s on a commuter campus was not
the thrill I had hoped it would be. We had profs who would scoff at the guys in their letters and other students who acted like Greeks were idiots. Lots of social issues and everyone was involved in politics to some degree. Protests, marches, streakers

-it was all there. The dormies would pay their 2 bucks and drink the beer at the TGs, then make fun of the fraternity and sorority members. BUcutie ad others have mentioned how many fraternities have folded. Kevlar could probably tell you the same thing.

I don't take offense at what you have said on THIS thread because I think you are indeed venting things you feel but can't say to yor brothers. What to do?
Shadokat is right!. You said on another thread regarding rivalry that you don't have interaction with any of the other greeks. Without a decent system within your own community, you can't expect that others would want to join groups, yours or others. As hokey as this sounds, you need to create solidarity amongst all greeks, at least respect for each other, and then focus on finding members.
You have received excellent advice and though it may be difficult, you have to get the others motivated. If you have some "big guns" to bring in, then do it. Also, I keep saying build up your chapter one by one if that's the only way left. If you don't get out there and mingle socially with GDIs, you will never meet the PNMs that could bring new life to your fraternity. My Hubby lived in the old dorms where NO ONE WAS GREEK. (Except me) I brought 3 guys to Sigma Chi that never thought about joining a fraternity and the fraternity would never have sought them out because they ASSUMED everyone in the quad was anti Greek. It can be done.

OnePlus69Is70 · #33 08-02-2002, 09:42 AM

What do I LIKE about being Greek? I like my house. That's about it. I wouldn't even have stayed at this school except for my brothers. I'd like Greek Life to be better, but just maintaining mediocrity is an uphill battle.

hey justamom, sounds like you've been here. we still have streakers, the bane of the campus tour guides, and thanks to inflation GDI's get charged $5 instead of $2, but it's pretty much the same thing.

Recruitment is the bane of my existence- we do everything right, and get no results. We dorm storm, we go to dorm parties, we talk up all our friends and everyone in our classes, we get girls to talk us up....and every semester the same reaction: yeah, you're great guys, and it'd be fun, but I really have to concentrate on my schoolwork. I hear that 300 times a semester. I said it in another thread- people here don't want to do the rah rah college thing. They live in a dorm for two years, then an apartment for two years. They go home on the weekends. They don't go to football games. Greeks aren't the only ones with recruitment problems- there are now about 100 students clubs, with about 400 members among them. Ten years ago we could boast double that, and I'm told in the 70's it was even higher. People just aren't joiners anymore, I don't know why.

sigmagrrl · #34 08-02-2002, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PotentialPledge
I noticed that too dzsaigirl. People in New England dont where bright colors, and arent nearly as friendly as southerners. I like to say im from the south, eventhough people dont consider dc the south. Another thing I noticed about New Englanders is that they never leave the region.

I live in MD now, and I really miss New England. I'm a JWU grad, a founding sister of my Tri Sigma chapter, and am actually going to have to disagree with a few things some people have said. I only quoted you because I do agree with the last thing: New Englanders don't really leave! Personally, I hated leaving RI, and plan on moving back there next July. There is something so familial and warm to me about New England, but I come from NYC, so...Guess it was the antithesis. My best friend and ex is an RI native and HE wants to move back when I go too. Once New England gets in your blood, it's hard to get it out! It's infectious! PROVIDENCE HERE I COME!!LOL

BUT, I have to say that I was surprised by dzsaigirl's comment re: the looks she gets on Thayer. With a fairly good size Greek system at JWU and URI and Greeks at Brown, Greeks should be a familiar thing on the East Side. Most of the JWU Greeks live off of Hope, on Evergreen, and off of Waterman, so I'm really shocked! Plus, most of us Greeks have stickers on our cars....Hmm, interesting!

justamom · #35 08-02-2002, 10:40 AM

People just aren't joiners anymore, I don't know why.

You are on to something here. This sounds like our HS situation.
Attendance at football games and such is really lacking. The stands are empty except for the parents of the players and a set group of kids that will always show up. WHY? Because there are so many other forms of entertanment in our area.

We are up against hunting and fishing (BIG TIME) premier soccer,
fall ball and then, you have a lot of kids working or generally into their own thing. Student Council is almost devoid of boys and
those that are active tend to be the same members of ALL the orgs. which is really spreading it thin.

I've taked to my son and his friends and it seems that nobody wants to "sit the bench" anymore-but then I can't really blame them. If it isn't fun, they won't participate if nobody participates, it isn't fun... Catch 22.

I think some take this attitude with them into college. As Greeks, we are also up against competition for the dollar and I do think this has more to do with it than we've discussed on the boards.

I don't know what you can do, but I hope you find an answer or some inspiration. Seems like you've really tried...

OnePlus69Is70 · #36 08-02-2002, 11:01 AM

If you want a full fleshing out of the problem of non-joining, I'd suggest Bowling Alone. It's a huge book written by a sociologist about how Americans don't have communities like they did in the 1950's. The Grange, the Rotary Club, PTA, everything is down, not just fraternities. It's less pronounced in the South than in the North, but it's a nation-wide problem. People just have other things to do- they have TV, they have movies, they have 36,000 activities and events pressing in at them, and they just don't have time for full-on committments to one or two things.

My HS was the same way- I was on the varsity swimmming team, in the drama club, the chorus, peer leaders, math team, chess club, I was class president....and there were about 30 or 40 other kids who were in all these activities with me. The rest of the students had jobs to go to after school. I was lucky, my job didn't interfere with any of it.

I always make a real effort to rush the guys who come to UMass from my high school. Last year, one of them was a complete loser and not worth the effort. The other two, one of them was driving home every Friday at noon to see his gf, and getting back Monday at 10, and consequently spent all his on-campus time doing schoolwork. The other one refused to "get drawn in" (I love that excuse) and wanted to just get used to the campus before he joined something. I think he transferred away. It's this way with everyone. It's only by the greatest effort that we get any recruits- we talk to so many guys, that just statistically we have to find a few who want to join and are acceptable.

FuzzieAlum · #37 08-02-2002, 11:39 AM

I'm going to have to get that book. I've noticed too that my generation doesn't want to join anything. If they do want to be involved in something, they'll participate in a way that doesn't require commitment or go start their own thing. (Everyone wants to be a founder so they can have it exactly the way they like it with no compromises.)

College students do seem to be focused on getting a degree to get a job these days. No more of that "well-rounded foundation for lifelong learning" crap for them! Get in, get that engineering or business degree in less than four years if they can, and get that job ...

Of course, the kids who do that are missing out on a lot. I know a girl who started law school before she was 21. She couldn't even hang out with her classmates because she couldn't get into the bars. And what did she have in common with them?

Anyway, the one thing that does seem to work to hook people is the old line, "And it'll look good on your resume." Greek orgs (esp. if you're smallish) offer so many opportunities for leadership. Do you think you could sell Greek life that way?

Good luck!

JMUduke · #38 08-02-2002, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PotentialPledge
I noticed that too dzsaigirl. People in New England dont where bright colors, and arent nearly as friendly as southerners. I like to say im from the south, eventhough people dont consider dc the south. Another thing I noticed about New Englanders is that they never leave the region.

I don't really know what to say here, I am somewhat disappointed by this remark, because although I'm from DC also, I love New England. I could make some blase remarks about the south and how slow everyone is down there and how it takes forever to get things accomplished...but I like the south just as much as the north, I spend time both in NYC and Tampa, I travel a lot actually, and my roommate and I last year both wore pink prom dresses in high school. Sure, I am one of a million.....but I really don't think we are that different, except for our viewpoints on the War of Northern Agression...OOPS, i mean the Civil War.

aprilxo · #39 08-02-2002, 12:58 PM

Yeah I was a total "non-joiner" and interested only in my school work. However, I came to realize that I was not enjoying what I heard people refer to as the "best years of your life." I also thought about the fact that if I all I had was a high GPA, big deal--that means all I did was sit on my ass and study. What employer wants that kind of employee? They want someone with communication skills, ambition, and the willingness to network.

And I think that's what being Greek does for me! Strangely enough, my GPA *improved* after joining a sorority (went from an average 3.5 to two semester of 4.0), I have more friends than at any other point in my life, and when I need something, chances are I know someone who can either help me or give me a name of someone who's got the info. And at my school, a primarily *engineering* school, I think that's an important point to make in recruitment--it's just GOOD for you to be involved in things, and a lot of times Greek orgs have rules about grades. For instance Phi Kaps here have solid study hours in the evenings and even though you can't find a moment of peace and quiet on the weekends, you better believe that after 6 or 7pm on a weekday their house is for the most part silent and brothers sit around with their books cracked open, helping the freshman with their work, etc. (And they're a pretty strong house, about 60-70 guys)

So anybody who mentioned talking up resumes or whatnot... I'd agree that that can help to some extent--Sometimes recruitment is hard here b/c of the kinds of nerds that only come here for their degrees! haha

greek love,
april

ps. oneplus... i also don't find you to be "negative" so don't feel too down!

aprilxo · #40 08-02-2002, 01:11 PM

Oh... well, I guess I also need to add that I wasn't joining my sorority just for connections and a thing to put on my resume; I didn't think about it sounding like that until after reading my own post (doh!).

I love my sisters and wish that I had "come around" sooner so I could have gotten the most out of those first two years too!

april

shadokat · #41 08-02-2002, 01:38 PM

OnePlus--

In looking at the fraternity sites, it seems that the other fraternities have a decent number of members.

And who the hell wants a chapter full of joiners? I want a chapter full of leaders!!

Maybe men don't join your fraternity because they hear, see and feel the frustration that you have towards greek life or the fraternity and think, "hell, if he's this miserable, why would I want to join!?!?"

To fix the Greek System, well, that takes the desire of all of the fraternities, not just yours. Join IFC first and foremost, and get as many executive positions as you can. Change can only happen if you make it happen!

OnePlus69Is70 · #42 08-02-2002, 04:21 PM

Shadokat, do you have a book of old cliches that you copy these from? Honestly. And what is it with people and running for IFC positions? IFC here is a bad joke- they take our dues, and then do nothing. I was our IFC rep for a year- meetings consisted of the Greek advisor chastising a couple groups for whatever they did the weekend before, them denying it, and me doodling in my notebook. And don't tell me to go do something about it- the bad thing about democracy is, even when the majority is stupid, it gets what it wants.

I wouldn't rely too much on those web sites for proper membership numbers- I know the real numbers. We all meander between 25 and 35- although right now, a couple are below 20.

We're not stupid enough to express our doubts in front of men we're trying to recruit- hell, I don't even talk about them in front of my brothers. My doubts usually only come out after a couple G&T's.

The "it'll look good on your resume" line doesn't work for us- we're a local, and we consistently produce alumni with degrees in things like Sociology. Actually, I've always liked that about us- we don't get phoney rushees looking to just get connections, because we can't provide any. People act like exactly who they are when they rush us. That's often not a good thing for them, but oh well

I suppose we'll just keep doing what we're doing- accept things the way they are and just try to hang on.

Tom Earp · #43 08-02-2002, 04:45 PM

Well, I think you find some of the brightest people who are Greeks on this site!

I was talking to a guy who I am trying to get Polo Shirts done for my Fraternity, ( I do not wear T-Shirts ) for something I can wear with my colors on so when I go some place, I can annouce I am a LXA!

Yes, times are different today than they were 30 + years ago but are they really?

Do we have rudderless people who will be running the Country in our life time?

What you learn from being a Member of a Greek Organization is more measurable than you think!

We as Greeks learn how to act socially, Proffesionally, and to work together at times!

You learn to compete and vie for titles in intrumurals, charity work, and leadership of your chapter!

Yes we all have the ones who say, hell, I just wanted to be a member when I was in College! I am a member for life and will always be! I am still involved along with a lot of my other Brothers who I got back interested in being a Brother!

Someone looking at your first resume will say oh you were a member of a Greek Org. What Offices did you hold, what did you do to help your Organization?

All of the recruiters know that you have a wider area of responsability than just living in a Dorm and going to class to get your degree!

YOU are a Mover and shaker not a go along with!

I have had many College Grads come in my Shop and I see they went to a local School, In Kansas City that is a lot say they wished they had joined as felt had missed so much!

How about 12 schools, very strong schools if you ask, I can name them but lost on this thread! Well Big 12 schools, UM, UK, KSU, MU, Neb, OK, OKU,

How about next down, Pitt State, Ks, NWMoU, CEMO, SWMOU!

Food for thought!

Be a Greek you will learn more and do more!

shadokat · #44 08-02-2002, 04:57 PM

Cliche as they may sound, you obviously are the one who is unhappy with your fraternity. IFC can be a well-run and helpful tool if used properly. Did you ever go in and talk to the Greek Advisor and ask them about what the hell IFC is doing with your money??

Nobody called anyone stupid and said you "expressed doubts in front of men". I know that when my own chapter had recruitment problems and low morale, you could see it all over their faces during recruitment.

Maybe you should start talking about your doubts and concerns within your brotherhood instead of coming on this site and saying how bad your greek system is and how everyone says join IFC and gives you cliches.

And here's a question...how does being local and producing alums with degrees in Sociology hurt you in recruitment?

You obviously started this post because you were hoping for maybe some advice or counsel on how to make things better at your campus and within your own fraternity. Don't turn around then and act like a jerk because that advice isn't the miracle to make things wonderful.

kddani · #45 08-02-2002, 08:02 PM

Why do you have to be so rude to everyone on here? People who are honestly trying to help and give you advice, you're just being rude. Especially a few of the girls. What is your problem????? What did we do to you?
People are trying to give you advice. I don't know what more we can say that could help. You've shot down everyone. Every suggestion that could be given has been. Guess what, some of these may be cliche to you, but they're tried and true for us. I've been in somewhat similarish position. You don't want to take my word on things, that's your choice. But my chapter went from steadily being about 35-40 people to being over total (60 on my campus). Don't come to a message board seeking honest advice if you're not even remotely willing to consider it. Nothing else can be said that can help you. You need to help yourself. If you're so damn miserable, maybe you really should think of transferring. Cause you're not accomplishing much there. You love your brothers, that's fine, but they'll still be your brothers no matter where you are. It seems like you hate almost everything there. Seriously, i don't know your year, your major, or anything like that. But it's like a relationship, if you're so miserable in it, why stay?