American Women and Relationships? - Page 3

aephi alum · #31 02-18-2002, 11:40 PM

Here's the way I see it...

In the 1950's (I'll take that as an example) gender roles were clearly defined. Dad went out and made a living, Mom stayed home and cooked and cleaned and minded the children. But suppose Mom wanted to be a doctor or lawyer, and had the skills for it. Tough luck, she was a woman and therefore had no place in the business world. No penis, no paycheck.

Nowadays, if Mom wants to be a professional, she can do it. She's not excluded from the workplace simply because she's female. And by the same token, if Dad wants to stay home with the kids, he can go right ahead. This is a recent phenomenon, and still predominantly an American attitude toward family structure.

Both women and men have a lot more freedom now in the path they take in life. A woman who chooses to be a SAHM isn't "wrong", she's just made a different decision from a woman who's chosen to have a full-time job.

But some men are threatened by the idea that their wife would want to work outside the home and be successful in an arena traditionally reserved for men. The reverse isn't true - women are generally glad for the help their husbands give them with cooking, cleaning, and looking after the kids - and a little kid can be quite a handful even for two people

But there are a lot of men out there who want the typical '50s family, where there is no question but that Mom will stay home with the kids and he will be the unquestioned master of the house - and it's hard to find an American woman who will agree to such a situation. I certainly don't agree, and I wouldn't marry a man with that attitude, but there they are.

[stepping off soapbox]

SAE1955 · #32 02-18-2002, 11:48 PM

You might be surprised by the amount of women who stay in the workforce for a while after having kids and then choose to stay at home....I've known a few...Working 9 to 5 in a typical job is not exactly fun...

Peaches-n-Cream · #33 02-19-2002, 01:16 AM

My cousin is the primary income earner and her husband stays home with the children. She works as a doctor which she loves. Her husband was downsized when she was pregnant, and they decided that he would be a stay at home dad. She says that she is very lucky because she can afford this arrangement and he is better than any daycare. They are both happy and this arrangement has worked out for their three children.
Most American families cannot afford this arrangement no matter which parent stays home. A two family income is not a luxury, but a necessity in most cases. My friend and her husband both work full time and have been since their son was three months. Living in New York is extremely expensive. They pay over $1,000 per month in real estate taxes, $2,000 for mortgage and utilities in a modest home and neighborhood, and $1,100 per month for child care.

She loved being home, but there was no way possible financially even if you subtract the cost of daycare. Women have more choices now than ever in history. Unfortunately, not all families can afford what they want.

Optimist Prime · #34 02-19-2002, 01:46 AM

Here's the way I see it. No one should be allowed to have children unless they pass several very stereous tests. There are too many people in this world. Abortion should be implamented as a form of birthcontroll. And if you're against abortion...then don't eat ommletes.

lovelyivy84 · #35 02-19-2002, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Here's the way I see it. No one should be allowed to have children unless they pass several very stereous tests. There are too many people in this world. Abortion should be implamented as a form of birthcontroll. And if you're against abortion...then don't eat ommletes.

How non-optimistic of you. I believe in a woman's right to choose, but abortion as a form of birth control is flat out wrong. WRONG. And it happens all too often. What about IUD's?

h2oot · #36 02-19-2002, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Here's the way I see it. No one should be allowed to have children unless they pass several very stereous tests. There are too many people in this world. Abortion should be implamented as a form of birthcontroll. And if you're against abortion...then don't eat ommletes.

This is about as dumb a thing as I've read from you, and that says a lot.

Bridget3D · #37 02-19-2002, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Here's the way I see it. No one should be allowed to have children unless they pass several very stereous tests. There are too many people in this world. Abortion should be implamented as a form of birthcontroll. And if you're against abortion...then don't eat ommletes.

Uh, no!

xo_sue · #38 02-19-2002, 01:57 PM

What I am seeing is many women quitting work to stay at home but they don't stay at home and spend the time with their children. They are out constantly "doing lunch", shopping, nails, workout with trainer, etc. While the nanny is home all day taking care of the children. The father is away all the time on business- the children grow up loving this nanny more than their own parents!

Yes, it is the area I work in (very wealthy) and the work I do that I see this style of living and yes, I wish I could live that lifestyle (except for the nanny replacing me as "mom" part) but I think if you are successful enough in life where you can be a stay at home mom- be a mom!!

And Op Prime.... I'll never eat eggs again! What were you thinking buddy?

h2oot · #39 02-20-2002, 01:03 AM

XO Sue says: "And Op Prime.... I'll never eat eggs again! What were you thinking buddy?"

He wasn't, or at least I hope he wasn't.

Optimist Prime · #40 02-20-2002, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by h2oot

This is about as dumb a thing as I've read from you, and that says a lot.

You hate me don't you?

Bridget3D · #41 02-20-2002, 01:38 AM

It's a full moon.

Optimist Prime · #42 02-20-2002, 01:41 AM

Oh wow. I wasn't. But thats a whole new deminsion. The omlette therory is you can't make one without breaking eggs. Yeah abortion can be traumatic, but might be the eggs we have to break to curb human population growth. OMG!! lol, i could see the double meaning though. haha

lovelyivy84 · #43 02-20-2002, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Oh wow. I wasn't. But thats a whole new deminsion. The omlette therory is you can't make one without breaking eggs. Yeah abortion can be traumatic, but might be the eggs we have to break to curb human population growth. OMG!! lol, i could see the double meaning though. haha

wow. that makes it sound like such a much better and more compassionate and even sensible idea. What was I thinking, how could I miss your devastating logic.

Optimist Prime · #44 02-20-2002, 03:32 PM

I've been thinking....there is no double meaning. Eggs are unfertilized (meaning haploid) and abortions are (diploid). So you shouldn't get grossed out by the old saying "you can't make an ommlette without breaking some eggs." You're right, that's not ultra companisonette, but...so what?

lovelyivy84 · #45 02-20-2002, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by h2oot

This is about as dumb a thing as I've read from you, and that says a lot.

I was giving the benefit of the doubt. But I think you might have been right on the money with this one