Sororities at UA

[33girl]

I am very tired and stressed, so please bear with me, but I have some thoughts I need to get out.

First and foremost - it is extremely bad etiquette in ANY forum to have your first ever post be a slam on an active member of that forum, no matter how long you have been "lurking."

The reason the "rep" questions drive me nuts is I have seen erroneous rumors and scuttlebutt (there's a couple 25 cent words for you) damage chapters to the point of extinction. I don't mean chapters that haze the crap out of pledges - they deserve all the bad publicity they can get. I mean the chapters that may not be prettiest or most popular and may be full of wonderful girls, but no one will give them a chance. And as we've definitely seen, national officers monitor these boards. How would you feel if it was your chapter getting extra scrutiny because someone posted on here "they have the worst rep with the guys"?

I can't count the number of times I've preached on here in favor of deferred rush. In my mind the 2 go hand in hand. Yes it sucks that women have to go into rush knowing nothing - yes it sucks that they feel they have to turn to a message board for advice. There is no substitute for seeing the sororities in person and how they operate day to day. Many of the women on my floor freshman year pledged and I definitely got to know who kept their pledges out till 3 AM, who was always happy during their pledge time and who did a personality 180. Had I not had that behind me I don't think I'd have known WHAT to do during rush. Your life is in such an upheaval at that time anyway - I think making a lifetime commitment is a lot to ask. My personal belief is that a lot of the unhappiness experienced in the Greek system could be lessened by implementing deferred rush.

The End. Just my o.

[KABillyMac]

I didnt get the memo about etiquette, I will have to take this issue up with my secretary. That being said, here's my 2 cents.

Situation: Your in highschool. Senior year is about over. You come home from school one afternoon, sit down at your computer and begin researching fraternities/sororities you are interested in at the respective university that you will be attending. During your search you come across a site called "Greekchat". Here is where it gets tricky. You enter greekchat, go right into the first forum on the list, greeklife, and start reading some posts. For whatever reason, be it not searching or not going through diffrent pages, you cant find the info that you so desperatley need about the u. that you will be attending. You decide to create a screename and seek an answer from the many knowledgeable people on this grand site. Ok, now you created a thread called "How is XYZ at Scuttlebutt U.?" well you go eat yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, come back to the comp and see if anyone has replied to your post. One of the first replies that you get entails you getting your head bit off for asking this type of question. You have been condemned from the getgo for commiting the number 1 sin of greekchat. "Thou shalt do a search".

These kids dont know this stuff. It is possible to let these threads slide without reply, especially if you dont attend that university. Guys, its summer, the kids are going to be on here trying to get a heads up about what will happen to them in the fall. Kudos to them for that.

Lack of patientence and tolerance is something I had to beat early in life. Trust me, I tried to apply it in many places (golf course, work, school) and it just never did me much good. I'm getting older now, I guess I just think that its just not worth it to get worked up over the little things. Visting greekchat is relaxing. Its good just to sit back and read whats going on around the country. It shouldnt be like a job, where you just wind up completley flustered (5 cents) and mad.

[PiPhiAlum]

KABILLYMAC,
Very well said!!! These young adults are coming here for advice from members of GLOs. In some cases, the first thing that happens is they are criticized for the questions they ask. This is the first introduction to Greek Life?!? No wonder membership is declining at many Schools. We should put ourselves in their shoes and try to remember the questions we had when we were 17 and 18, getting ready to start college and rush.

33girl,
I totally agree with your third paragraph… There is something positive about each GLO, and that is what should be emphasized. That is why I said in my earlier posting that, “I thought what daisyflower said was interesting and her view only. I personally think that she should have included “Keep an open mind” and I am sure that ZTA and AOPi have positive points that would have been more appropriate."

Also, I said it earlier... If you want to do a search on "ABC" University or "XYZ" sorority, you have to search over 150 forums. That can be not only time consuming, but also frustrating. I know first hand I did two... one on USM, the other on Pi Phi.

[ZTAngel]

PiPhiAlum and KABillyMac-
I totally agree with you guys. I think there's very few of us on GC that can honestly say they went through rush with a completely open mind. We all, in some form, tried to find out what each fraternity/sorority had to offer. Whether it was by going to the university for a summer session, asking a friend, or even going on greek chat, most us had some sort of opinion to begin with. Don't bite someone's head off for asking a question. If you don't like the topic, THEN DON'T POST!

My advice would be to go in with an open mind. I could tell you some rumors I have heard about other houses, but they're just that, rumors, and I wouldn't want to influence any decision you might make. I could tell you that XYZ sorority has a reputation for sleeping around or whatever, but I'm sure someone in XYZ would be happy to tell you the same thing about my house (even though it wouldn't be true). You are going to be able to find someone to say something bad about any house at UA. Rush is just really competitive there and a lot of girls will go to any extreme to get the girls they want. So don't listen to any rumors. Just go in with an open mind and find the house YOU are most comfortable in.

OK, i didnt want to put in my 2 cent but I cant beleive one innocent post coudl bring this much stuff up. I agree with the GCer's who think that its ok for her to ask this question. Like someone said anyone who replies is giving her/his own opinion and it may influence some people, but if it does than that is on that person. But i know at my school you have to go to every house anyways, so youd get to know the girls no matter what you heard about them. Also, no GCer should attack another. Whether its newbie, moderator, senior or junior member or lurking member. You dont have to read the post. WHy waste so much energy writing a reply about putting it somewhere else, when you could just skip over it?

[kappagirl00]

Yeah, and I just love it that Mods and senior members can be bitchy and rude at free will, but the junior members and newbies don't even seem to have the right to an opinion or to ask a question. And no, I'm not generalizing, I'm not saying that all mods are rude or that all newbies are treated with less respect. But there seems to be this culture where the higher your post count is, the "better" you are on this board. Everyone here was a newbie once, and I can say, having been a lurker for a while, that there are cases of people who get EXPONENTIALLY less polite as their post count rises. I think this board would benefit greatly if everyone's post count were erased and people just got off their high horses for once. You talk about how we should treat "respected members" better...shouldn't we ALL be respected????

[This message has been edited by kappagirl00 (edited June 17, 2001).]

[carnation]

Kappagirl and others, I really didn't notice anybody being rude on GC until the Attack of the Trailer Trash that started last October and lasted well into this year. Like I said in an earlier post, it made people suspicious of any overly innocent post and spurred us into "kill mode" the minute we saw an insulting post. You just would've had to be there, to put up with the tons of filthy, vicious crap from 2 sorry women. Some of us who are normally calm people were highly surprised at what we eventually shot back at them.

But like I said, you would've had to have been there...don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes....

[kappagirl00]

I understand that, because I did read this board at the time. I WAS there. However, there comes a time when you need to let go a little. Because not everyone is the tag team, and not everyone is out to get us. But if we keep reacting as though everyone is, this board will quickly become not a fun place to be. After a certain point you need to let go and move on.

And I think whoever started this post was asking a perfectly valid question. Those of you who have never done formal fall rush cannot understand how confusing it is to choose from sororities you know nothing about, all of which are only putting their best foot forward. My first round of rush, all the sororities seemed the same to me. It was not until I heard from the sophomores in my rush group about the sororities' reputations and met more girls in the houses that I got a picture of how these groups were different from one another. But I didn't rely on such information to make my choices, and to assume someone would do so is a HUGE insult to their intelligence. Like I said, I think a lot of people on this board would benefit from a giant chill pill and a long nap

[This message has been edited by kappagirl00 (edited June 17, 2001).]

[carnation]

Of course, kappagirl00! I too went through rush at a huge school in a state I'd never even visited. I had no clue that rush was as demanding as it was there, that some sororities and some girls had made their choices prior to rush, that--well, I could go on forever. Because of that and the fact that I was once a Panhel advisor, I will always welcome legit questions from prospective rushees.

But "legit" is the key word. The tag team continues to visit this board, lurking (Hi, Barb. Hi, Kristin.) and making provocative posts under various names and this is why many people are unwilling to drop their guard. I, for one, will be glad when John institutes his new program this summer and cruddy people will be unable to try to start anything at all.

[This message has been edited by carnation (edited June 17, 2001).]

[Chiocutie]

Well I must say after reading this thread I am glad that all this has come out. I personally am tired of all the people on here who think because of how long they have been here it gives them the right to dismiss others legitimate questions/answers/opinions. This is a place to POST YOUR OPINIONS/QUESTIONS/ETC. That is the nature of this board. Do not think because you have been here longer than others (Juniors, lurkers,etc)what you have to say is better than other people's opinions. We are all going to have different opinions whether or not it be positive or negative and that is okay. Thats what makes it great to be able to have the opportunity to post them on something like Greek Chat. THATS WHAT IT IS FOR. Hats off to all you GCr's that finally said something.

[Chiocutie]

Well I must say after reading this thread I am glad that all this has come out. I personally am tired of all the people on here who think because of how long they have been here it gives them the right to dismiss others legitimate questions/answers/opinions. This is a place to POST YOUR OPINIONS/QUESTIONS/ETC. That is the nature of this board. Do not think because you have been here longer than others (Juniors, lurkers,etc)what you have to say is better than other people's opinions. We are all going to have different opinions whether or not it be positive or negative and that is okay. Thats what makes it great to be able to have the opportunity to post them on something like Greek Chat. THATS WHAT IT IS FOR. Hats off to all you GCr's that finally said something.

[AlphaChiGirl]

To all the people who have posted, thank you for saying, very eloquently, I might add, what I've been feeling for quite a while. The attitudes on here got so bad that I had to leave for a while. I understand that things were tense, but that's no excuse.

[MafiaCSUS]

Everyone should be just a little more chilled in here. Seems a lot of people take things too seriously. Some people also don't post them smartest things. It happens, unfortunately, so let's all forget about it after the 500th post. Have a nice rest of Fathers Day.

[SigmaChiCard]

I was 'talking' to a girl in Pi Phi there and she was really sweet...but turned into quite a B!+(#
y'know?
so it's possible they front pretty hard
The only other one I know there suposedly 'gets around' quite a bit
but i'm sure that's two bad apples amongst many, many fresh, ripe ones...