Frustrated by boys - Page 3

Miami1839 · #31 01-14-2002, 09:46 PM

Not all guys are bad apples and not all girls are either. I see it the way Amy does. Take charge and make that call. At least so you can get rid of that "what if" feeling. All things happen for a reason. Whether they are bad or good. If nothing good comes out of all this do what you can to learn from it. But remember not all guys are jerks. There is a nice guy out there for you. I just think all too often we are overlooked.

Peaches-n-Cream · #32 01-14-2002, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
LOL, wouldn't it be ironic if we had each other's phone numbers moldering away in a shoe box? But that can't be possible, I would remember meeting a girl named Cream.

You are more than conventionally pretty eh? Well if that is a consensus, send me your number and I'll call you

I remember meeting a guy named Jimmy at Turtle Bay, and he did call and take me out to dinner in Greenwich Village. We had a great time, at least I did. You know what happened next...NOTHING! He didn't call me.

James, I think/hope that it's a consensus. Will you really call me or just add my number to your growing collection? Ok, here goes another number for your shoe box. 718 274 on second thought I better not!

deltaphi94 · #33 01-14-2002, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
I met a guy last night who told me he would "e-mail me." What the hell does that mean???

I'm guessing... Don't hold your breath.... but that's a new one to me.

Optimist Prime · #34 01-14-2002, 10:54 PM

I told a girl I'll call her. I told her this tonight. I will call her. Um....I'm open to suggestions as to WHEN!

Peaches-n-Cream · #35 01-15-2002, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
I told a girl I'll call her. I told her this tonight. I will call her. Um....I'm open to suggestions as to WHEN!

If you want to ask her out for a date on Friday night, call her on Tuesday or on Saturday night call before Wednesday. Have a plan in mind like dinner and a movie. If she's anything like me, she will appreciate you putting some thought into planning a date. Always give a woman three days notice before a date. It gives her time to prepare, and no woman wants to feel like she's a last minute choice because you had nothing better to do. Also, call a night before just to firm up plans.

Optimist Prime · #36 01-15-2002, 01:38 AM

ok,..i'll call her tomorrow. I didn't want to call tonight and seem too desperate. Didn't we have this same discusion about three or four months ago? And then last spring too?? Not that its a bad thing. I don't think we should limit ourselves as hip hop artists. Word.

James · #37 01-15-2002, 01:53 AM

Billy Optimist,

No No No No No No!

Never give a woman three days to think about an upcoming date, especially a first one. Women are worse than Sports Center, by the time your date has rolled around they will have analyzed it, dissected you, called in expert opinions, and tried for a group consensus. Thats an awful lot of pressure, and it only takes one friend going eeewww to destroy your date.

Lower the pressure. The sooner you call if you are interested the better, you want to ride the momentum of her liking you and you being new.
Cream is right when she says that notice needs to be given for better dates. Calling a girl up and asking her out to a formal dinner in an hour is not a great idea.

But the first date should be about the two of you connecting. So calling her up and inviting her out that night, or the next day for a cup of coffee and desert is a nice thing. And there are plenty of little desert coffee places now, or even a Starbucks or Borders will do.

The advantages are:
Its a short date, so you can talk and not run out of things to say. Plus its easier to be "on" during shorter periods of time.

IF the date goes sour, well coffee is quick. And if the date goes well you can have a contingency plan worked out in advance and go on from there.

Always treat for the first date, even if she insists (most girls don't press you too hard about taking their money

) if she really pushes just come out and say, hey i would really like to pay for the this because that makes it feel like a real date. (plus then you know you are on a date and not going to be pidgeon holed into the living-death-friend-category.) Pay and be gracious even if she is a twit, she'll tell her friends and you will get Social Brownie points.

Good Luck.

Cream- Damn girl I was all excited! I had my Cell phone out and dialing your digits only to see the number incomplete! So now I'll have to lead two girls on in the future and let them down just to even the score.

Quote:

Originally posted by Cream

If you want to ask her out for a date on Friday night, call her on Tuesday or on Saturday night call before Wednesday. Have a plan in mind like dinner and a movie. If she's anything like me, she will appreciate you putting some thought into planning a date. Always give a woman three days notice before a date. It gives her time to prepare, and no woman wants to feel like she's a last minute choice because you had nothing better to do. Also, call a night before just to firm up plans.

Peaches-n-Cream · #38 01-15-2002, 02:14 AM

James, you are so funny! Do you ever come to New York City? You know what I'm thinking...

Optimist Prime · #39 01-15-2002, 02:51 AM

Thanks James.

justamom · #40 01-15-2002, 05:53 AM

Billy, good luck and be sure to take Jame's advice. I wish I had this window of insight when I was in college, but then, all turned out for the best!

James, I couldn't agree with you more!

IT is so easy for any guy that has watched some old movies to really impress young women these days, because women don't seem to expect all that much attention to the little things from their men. Sad really. Its like a breakdown of the old rules with no replacement with new beter ones.

I did this in Junior High and HS...Thank heavens there are cell phones so if you are the type to wait and wait, at least you can leave the HOUSE!
I know you ladies think sitting by the phone and being available is doing your part, but we can't see you sitting there. So we don't know if you are interested.

AOPiLaLa · #41 01-15-2002, 11:21 AM

Well. guess what---he called last night. I was out(actually at an AOTT alum dinner), but when I got in my car and checked my cell phone, he had called there, but had not left a message. When I got home, he had left a message on my answering machine saying he had been in Chicago since Thursday(no reason why) and to give him a call when I got a chance.
Okay, this does get points because he did not have my cell phone number but it is on my answering machine, which means he took the time to write it down and call that, after he couldn't reach me on my home phone.
I didn't call him(I wasn't home till after 11--20 AOTT alums and a Mexican resturant with margarita's does not make for an early night!!) but I will tonight, while thinking of all of the advice you guys have so readily given. I guess I didn't mean for it to come across that I didn't like him, just because I was busy, but maybe thats how he saw it. The crappy thing is my mom is coming into town this weekend(well, its not crappy because I LOVE my mom and I miss her!), so I have the family thing and then I am going to Charlotte next weekend to have an AOTT reunion with some of my sisters that has been planned for about 3 months. So, its not that I don't want to see this guy--I am just busy in January. February is MUCH better. But lets hope this guy likes the idea of a Thursday night dinner or something.
On another note--I COMPLETELY AGREE with everyone that said the guy should have some idea what they want to do for the date, at least the first one. I don't care if its just that you LOVE Chili's margarita's and you want one, so you pick Chili's. Just please have some idea where you want to go or do before you call. It is VERY IMPRESSIVE. I just want a guy to take me to see Black Hawk Down. Just think guys--2 and half hours of watching Josh Hartnett, other yummy soilders, and a tear jerker movie. If that is not a guranteed good night kiss, I don't know what is!!

justamom · #42 01-15-2002, 02:11 PM

This guy is going through a lot of work!!! I hope you two can
at least make it to "kickoff"!

AOPiLaLa · #43 01-15-2002, 02:31 PM

Thanks MOM!!! Me too

valkyrie · #44 01-15-2002, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James

Never give a woman three days to think about an upcoming date, especially a first one. Women are worse than Sports Center, by the time your date has rolled around they will have analyzed it, dissected you, called in expert opinions, and tried for a group consensus. Thats an awful lot of pressure, and it only takes one friend going eeewww to destroy your date.

Always treat for the first date, even if she insists (most girls don't press you too hard about taking their money ) if she really pushes just come out and say, hey i would really like to pay for the this because that makes it feel like a real date. (plus then you know you are on a date and not going to be pidgeon holed into the living-death-friend-category

Okay, I disagree. You make women sound like a bunch of losers with nothing going on in their lives, so that they have hours on end to sit around and discuss some guy that they don't even know very well. I have never behaved like that in my life. If I had a date with some guy, I would tell my friends, sure, but I could not possibly care less whether they had anything to say about him (unless they knew him to be a rapist or something truly evil). I certainly would not allow a date to be destroyed by a friend "going ewwww." There are women out there who have lives and better things to do than discuss a date, and who are independent and make their own decisions without being completely dependent upon and influenced by their friends.

Also, if a woman wants to pay half, what's the problem? It would be a HUGE turnoff to me to be on a date and have the guy raise a big stink about splitting the costs. To me, that's sexist and probably a warning sign that he might try to argue with me about other things that I want to do. A date is no more real because a guy pays.

dzrose93 · #45 01-15-2002, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie

Okay, I disagree. You make women sound like a bunch of losers with nothing going on in their lives, so that they have hours on end to sit around and discuss some guy that they don't even know very well. I have never behaved like that in my life. If I had a date with some guy, I would tell my friends, sure, but I could not possibly care less whether they had anything to say about him (unless they knew him to be a rapist or something truly evil). I certainly would not allow a date to be destroyed by a friend "going ewwww." There are women out there who have lives and better things to do than discuss a date, and who are independent and make their own decisions without being completely dependent upon and influenced by their friends.

Also, if a woman wants to pay half, what's the problem? It would be a HUGE turnoff to me to be on a date and have the guy raise a big stink about splitting the costs. To me, that's sexist and probably a warning sign that he might try to argue with me about other things that I want to do. A date is no more real because a guy pays.

I agree with you 100%, valkyrie!

Well said.