Dropping ADPi, Can I join another?

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by LaneSig

Let the flaming and stay-in-your-own-lane comments begin in 3..2..1...

I hope you don't get flamed, LaneSig. I'm with AOII Angel - I agree with everything you said here.

[adpiucf]

ADPi calls our new member ceremony "Alpha Initiation," and she is new to Greek Life, so I can understand her confusion as to whether she's been initiated.

OP, talk to your new member coordinator and chapter treasurer about dropping (you'll need to be paid up before you drop so you don't have collections agencies calling you and you probably give the sorority a short signed and dated letter stating, I, NAME, am cancelling my alpha membership as of DATE. Signature) and stay off Greek Chat because you're inciting a riot here.

As others have cautioned, you may not get a bid anywhere the next time you rush, depending on individual sorority policies and politics. But if your heart's not in it and you don't want to make the effort to get to know your sorority better to see if you might fit, you should drop. As your (current) sorority sister and as a Greek woman, I'm glad to talk with you more about this on private message if you like and if you think it might be worth giving it a shot to get to know your chapter better.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

I hope you don't get flamed, LaneSig. I'm with AOII Angel - I agree with everything you said here.

I also agree. I originally thought I was crazy for thinking this was blown way out of proportion. I didn't even think that her naming the org was that big of a deal, as she never said anything bad about her chapter. It'd be different if she said, "My chapter is full of drunks!" or "I've been hazed and I want out," but she didn't. She politely said she didn't feel she fit in with the chapter. No big deal.

Thank you for swerving, LaneSig!

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I also agree. I originally thought I was crazy for thinking this was blown way out of proportion. I didn't even think that her naming the org was that big of a deal, as she never said anything bad about her chapter. It'd be different if she said, "My chapter is full of drunks!" or "I've been hazed and I want out," but she didn't. She politely said she didn't feel she fit in with the chapter. No big deal.

Thank you for swerving, LaneSig!

Completely agree. I'd rather have members who want to be there than ones who feel miserable or that they don't fit, and they deserve to be someplace where they are happy. Greek Life lifetime commitment once you've been initiated in full, but your new member period is your time to test the waters.

[DaffyKD]

Before you take that final step and resign from your chapter, please read this thread: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=136124 She too was thinking of dropping, for different reasons, but still was questioning her decision. You might/might not gain a little insight but what harm does a little extra reading do?

I agree with those who said you should sit down and talk to your New Member Educator. Her job is to assist you during your new member period, not just make sure you learn the Greek alphabet, know your founders, etc. You are not the first member of that chapter to think about dropping and you will not be the last. Your very best friend in the sorority my not be a member of the chapter right now, she may join the next new member class or the one after, you never know.

My last piece of advise is from a woman who is not only old enough to be your mother, but possibly your grandmother. Close GreekChat, work on your studies and think very hard if dropping out is what you really want or if the fear of commitment may be creeping in. You are making a lifetime decision and that is scary. You wanted to be part of the Greek system, you did the work to make sure you were successful in your search. Now you have to think about whether or not you want to devote the necessary work to bond with the other members, if a lifetime membership is what you want, will you regret leaving in a few months? TALK TO YOUR NEW MEMBER ADVISOR and make sure you are very comfortable and happy with your ultimate decision. Good luck!

DaffyKD

[AZTheta]

I had dinner last night with three Greek alums: an AXO, a Tri Delta, and a Kappa Sig. We were at a restaurant just off-campus. it's very popular with university students. A large group of Theta actives came in and spotted me. They all came over to our table. I was delighted to introduce them to my friends and to state their Greek affiliations. One of the actives turned to the others and said, "AZTheta really means it when she says she has friends in every Greek group." We all laughed. It's not that I don't have Theta friends, because I do, but I sure do like (and socialize with) all my other Greek friends!

OP, whatever you decide, please know that membership truly is for a lifetime and that your friendships will extend to others who are Greek regardless of their letters.

And one thing I want to mention that you need to know about is financial. Please know that you may not get back all of the fees, etc., that you have paid so far. That is not how it works in my organization. There are many fees which are paid upfront at the time of pledging that cover many items you don't even think about. I'm not saying this to upset you, I just want you to understand that it's a little more complicated.

I wish you the best of luck, whatever happens; and I hope it works out for you.

[ijustwantout]

Thank you all for your responses. I really do appreciate all the advice and you have given me a lot to think about. I have set up a meeting with my new member educator and plan to go from there. I really do apologize for any anger I may have caused as it was not my intention, I was just hoping for some advice. Thank you guys, have a wonderful day.

[ChioLu]

Originally Posted by LaneSig

Let the flaming and stay-in-your-own-lane comments begin in 3..2..1...

As in, "stay in your own LaneSig"?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

I hope you don't get flamed, LaneSig. I'm with AOII Angel - I agree with everything you said here.

Same here.

[pinksequins]

Thank you, LaneSig and others. I concur. I did not detect entitlement or snowflakeism either.