sorority advice needed

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by kallyssasmommy

1st and foremost let me address the issue of spelling and grammar so many of you brought up. A. I was typing my responses back to some of you very late at night and was tired. B. In the moment I didn't care about spelling or grammar I was just responding. C. Even if I did really use bad grammar and suck that bad at spelling who gives a hoot. Janetgrisell Thank you for a nice response and for not being rude like some of these other people on here. I will look into Beta Sigma Phi. ColdinCanada11 Thank you for the link I will look into that. I appreciate your response and thank you for clarifying what you were trying to say. Titchou Not sure what Rec writers are must have been something that we didn’t have. I did address the issue with all 4 chapters and they knew from day one my age and that I was a mother. I understand that they prefer a 4 year commitment however I know for a fact that a few girls I rushed with who are upperclassmen got bids. As far as my other commitments academically I am a full time student, I am part of 2 clubs, I have my own charity that I started, and I do a lot of community service projects and I work a part time job. I have a 3.2 GPA which has been maintained throughout all of college and as far as money goes let’s just put it like this I can afford to pay the membership fees quarterly. As I said in the beginning of this post I understand that there were spelling and grammar mistakes however I explained how I feel about that. Yes I agree 100 percent there does need to be criteria let me tell you and everyone else who questions this what it should be. A Member must have good grades I think that is very important. A member needs to be a good person someone who cares about others and helping others. A member needs to be someone who is determined, honest, and hard working. A member should be a women who is strong and knows herself and isn’t afraid to be herself. A Member should be someone who is trusting and loyal. A Member should be someone who knows what sisterhood means and lives by the philosophies established within that sisterhood. So would I admit a gang member, call me a liar call me crazy ect. But I won’t say that I wouldn’t. Not saying that I would either, but everyone has a story and everyone makes mistakes and I am a strong believer that everyone even gang member murders deserve a second chance. I hyphenated Panhellenic because that is how I saw it on something I looked at online. Thank you for wishing me luck. AZTheta I do that was the reason why because I was told. Whether or not a person was allowed to tell me or got in trouble for telling me I do not know but I was told that was the reason. I found what you said here to be kind of funny and yet interesting at the same time. That way you are responding and not reacting. This process develops self-control, insight, and perspective-taking abilities. There were many great points made in the responses that were written to you. You focused on a few things that you thought were judgmental and disciminatory, and didn't process the help that was being offered. I did very much so process “THE HELP” being offered. What I did not and will not process is the hostility and rudeness of some people. Those who I believe helped me in answering my questions and giving positive feedback I did acknowledge and thank. I am quite capable of doing all the things you said Thank you very much. You spelled something wrong too should I become the grammar police. I wouldn’t do that though because I understand sometimes people are tired or typing to fast and make mistakes and are too tired to read through things and fix them. I know the choice is mine of how I handle it and I think I have handled it quite well. This post was never about how I handled it though or what my fiancés looked like or me not being selected. I could care less about not being accepted. I have dealt with the fact that it was not meant to be doesn’t mean though that it is any less upsetting when you are told to your face the reason you were not invited in is because of your age and being a mother. I agree with you that your age does not make you mature I was not pointing out that it did I know lots of people older than myself who are more immature then a child. I was simply just stating that in my case my maturity could have been something that was beneficial had I been given a fair chance. AMIBLUE I do understand the time commitment it was made very clear and I have lots of friends in sororities and I know it’s a lot of work and not just about parties. That is one thing that attracted me to the sorority lifestyle the fact that so many girls give back to the community, education is important, sisterhood is important ect. I respect all of those things and want them for myself it was never about being able to go to mixers or party’s. Of course I want to spend time with my child but there are things in my life that I choose not to disclose that would of and still do make it possible that I can have it all. I spend lots of time with my daughter and she knows she comes first but I do not think there is anything wrong with having me time. Thank you for the good luck wishes. 33girl I will disclose the 4 sororities Kappa Delta, Alpha Delta Phi, Zeta, and Alpha Phi. Thank you for addressing the age issue. I agree my daughter does take a lot of my time but I am able to manage my time well. Also I never once said I expect anyone to cut me any slack. I would hope to be treated the same as anyone else mother or not. REE-XI I never said being older makes someone wiser I was stating that I am pretty mature and I understand there are advisors to inspire and teach the younger girls but being older means I have more experiences that I could share. As far as whom I am as a person offline or online I am me end of story and me is perfect just the way I am. If somebody doesn’t like it I think it’s their problem not mine. I don’t want to be affiliated with a date or a job or in this case sororities that don’t want me for me. Please Please tell me how I handle myself online????? Because the way I see it all I’ve done is ask for help to start something that could be a good thing. All I’ve done is be upfront and honest. All I’ve done is explain myself over and over again which I shouldn’t even have to do. A person shouldn’t be attacked and have people be rude to them when they ask for help. Yes I did come off a little defensive but when I feel disrespected and judged when all I am doing is asking for help yeah I am going to go on the defense a little bit. Furthermore, I am not fighting with anyone if someone wants to turn it into a fight as some have seemed to try and do I have no desire to even go there because I am more mature than that. However, I do have a right to respond and speak my mind. Oh Dubaisis I was so overjoyed to get to your post what a delight you are. Rush did fail for me so what I have moved on to greater and better things and am trying to start my own thing which is the whole reason I asked for help. I did not ask for help to get pettiness unsolicited judgments. You speak about mean girls and being bitter A. my friend I think you are a mean girl maybe you should watch the movie. B. No ones bitter at least not on my end. I never said I had anything under control obviously you turned this post into something ugly when it did not have to be. I never claimed that anything I start would be better or equivalent to anything already existing. I just wanted to create something for all of the women who feel discriminated against regardless of the reason. As far as appeal to other women I didn’t know you were an expert in sororities for moms good to know and good for you.
At the end of the day I just came on here seeking advice I am not trying to fight with anyone I respect everyone’s opinions as I wish mine would be respected.

OMG! tl;dr

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by kallyssasmommy

1st and foremost let me address the issue of spelling and grammar so many of you brought up. A. I was typing my responses back to some of you very late at night and was tired. B. In the moment I didn't care about spelling or grammar I was just responding. C. Even if I did really use bad grammar and suck that bad at spelling who gives a hoot.

Janetgrisell Thank you for a nice response and for not being rude like some of these other people on here. I will look into Beta Sigma Phi.

ColdinCanada11 Thank you for the link I will look into that. I appreciate your response and thank you for clarifying what you were trying to say.

Titchou Not sure what Rec writers are must have been something that we didn’t have. I did address the issue with all 4 chapters and they knew from day one my age and that I was a mother. I understand that they prefer a 4 year commitment however I know for a fact that a few girls I rushed with who are upperclassmen got bids. As far as my other commitments academically I am a full time student, I am part of 2 clubs, I have my own charity that I started, and I do a lot of community service projects and I work a part time job. I have a 3.2 GPA which has been maintained throughout all of college and as far as money goes let’s just put it like this I can afford to pay the membership fees quarterly. As I said in the beginning of this post I understand that there were spelling and grammar mistakes however I explained how I feel about that. Yes I agree 100 percent there does need to be criteria let me tell you and everyone else who questions this what it should be. A Member must have good grades I think that is very important. A member needs to be a good person someone who cares about others and helping others. A member needs to be someone who is determined, honest, and hard working. A member should be a women who is strong and knows herself and isn’t afraid to be herself. A Member should be someone who is trusting and loyal. A Member should be someone who knows what sisterhood means and lives by the philosophies established within that sisterhood. So would I admit a gang member, call me a liar call me crazy ect. But I won’t say that I wouldn’t. Not saying that I would either, but everyone has a story and everyone makes mistakes and I am a strong believer that everyone even gang member murders deserve a second chance. I hyphenated Panhellenic because that is how I saw it on something I looked at online. Thank you for wishing me luck.

AZTheta I do that was the reason why because I was told. Whether or not a person was allowed to tell me or got in trouble for telling me I do not know but I was told that was the reason. I found what you said here to be kind of funny and yet interesting at the same time. That way you are responding and not reacting. This process develops self-control, insight, and perspective-taking abilities. There were many great points made in the responses that were written to you. You focused on a few things that you thought were judgmental and disciminatory, and didn't process the help that was being offered. I did very much so process “THE HELP” being offered. What I did not and will not process is the hostility and rudeness of some people. Those who I believe helped me in answering my questions and giving positive feedback I did acknowledge and thank. I am quite capable of doing all the things you said Thank you very much. You spelled something wrong too should I become the grammar police. I wouldn’t do that though because I understand sometimes people are tired or typing to fast and make mistakes and are too tired to read through things and fix them. I know the choice is mine of how I handle it and I think I have handled it quite well. This post was never about how I handled it though or what my fiancés looked like or me not being selected. I could care less about not being accepted. I have dealt with the fact that it was not meant to be doesn’t mean though that it is any less upsetting when you are told to your face the reason you were not invited in is because of your age and being a mother. I agree with you that your age does not make you mature I was not pointing out that it did I know lots of people older than myself who are more immature then a child. I was simply just stating that in my case my maturity could have been something that was beneficial had I been given a fair chance.

AMIBLUE I do understand the time commitment it was made very clear and I have lots of friends in sororities and I know it’s a lot of work and not just about parties. That is one thing that attracted me to the sorority lifestyle the fact that so many girls give back to the community, education is important, sisterhood is important ect. I respect all of those things and want them for myself it was never about being able to go to mixers or party’s. Of course I want to spend time with my child but there are things in my life that I choose not to disclose that would of and still do make it possible that I can have it all. I spend lots of time with my daughter and she knows she comes first but I do not think there is anything wrong with having me time. Thank you for the good luck wishes.

33girl I will disclose the 4 sororities Kappa Delta, Alpha Delta Phi, Zeta, and Alpha Phi. Thank you for addressing the age issue. I agree my daughter does take a lot of my time but I am able to manage my time well. Also I never once said I expect anyone to cut me any slack. I would hope to be treated the same as anyone else mother or not.

REE-XI I never said being older makes someone wiser I was stating that I am pretty mature and I understand there are advisors to inspire and teach the younger girls but being older means I have more experiences that I could share. As far as whom I am as a person offline or online I am me end of story and me is perfect just the way I am. If somebody doesn’t like it I think it’s their problem not mine. I don’t want to be affiliated with a date or a job or in this case sororities that don’t want me for me. Please Please tell me how I handle myself online????? Because the way I see it all I’ve done is ask for help to start something that could be a good thing. All I’ve done is be upfront and honest. All I’ve done is explain myself over and over again which I shouldn’t even have to do. A person shouldn’t be attacked and have people be rude to them when they ask for help. Yes I did come off a little defensive but when I feel disrespected and judged when all I am doing is asking for help yeah I am going to go on the defense a little bit. Furthermore, I am not fighting with anyone if someone wants to turn it into a fight as some have seemed to try and do I have no desire to even go there because I am more mature than that. However, I do have a right to respond and speak my mind.

Oh Dubaisis I was so overjoyed to get to your post what a delight you are. Rush did fail for me so what I have moved on to greater and better things and am trying to start my own thing which is the whole reason I asked for help. I did not ask for help to get pettiness unsolicited judgments. You speak about mean girls and being bitter A. my friend I think you are a mean girl maybe you should watch the movie. B. No ones bitter at least not on my end. I never said I had anything under control obviously you turned this post into something ugly when it did not have to be. I never claimed that anything I start would be better or equivalent to anything already existing. I just wanted to create something for all of the women who feel discriminated against regardless of the reason. As far as appeal to other women I didn’t know you were an expert in sororities for moms good to know and good for you.
At the end of the day I just came on here seeking advice I am not trying to fight with anyone I respect everyone’s opinions as I wish mine would be respected.

A little better?

I'm still not going to bother reading this, though.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by kallyssasmommy

my friend I think you are a mean girl

lol
I sure hope DubaiSis is ok after that zinger.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by kallyssasmommy

1st and foremost let me address the issue of spelling and grammar so many of you brought up. A. I was typing my responses back to some of you very late at night and was tired. B. In the moment I didn't care about spelling or grammar I was just responding. C. Even if I did really use bad grammar and suck that bad at spelling who gives a hoot.

You should if you expect people to (A) spend their time reading what you typed, (B) understand what you're trying to say, and (C) take you seriously. You're in college. Write like it.

And it's not just grammar and spelling. Puntuation and paragraphs are your friends. Without them, you end up with a monstrous block of text, and everything you took the time to write will come across like this:

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by kallyssasmommy

1st and foremost let me address the issue of spelling and grammar so many of you brought up. A. I was typing my responses back to some of you very late at night and was tired. B. In the moment I didn't care about spelling or grammar I was just responding. C. Even if I did really use bad grammar and suck that bad at spelling who gives a hoot.

I care and yes, I judged you.

Originally Posted by kallyssasmommy

I will disclose the 4 sororities Kappa Delta, Alpha Delta Phi, Zeta, and Alpha Phi.

Wow, ADPhi hasn't been around for years!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Wow, ADPhi hasn't been around for years!

Actually, they are still around and have something that no one in Junior League or any NPC group will ever, ever have. That something is.....





...........






PENISES!!!

http://www.alphadeltaphi.org/

(The chapters of ADPhi that broke away and became co-ed are Alpha Delta Phi Society, a separate organization.)

I'm guessing an "h" snuck in where it shouldn't have and she meant ADPi.

And since I apparently offended Junior League by suggesting they might not take anyone that wants in, I will say that competitiveness can occur in ANY organization. Chamber of Commerce, Jaycees, hospital auxiliary, PTA, you name it - and yes I am talking about organizations for ADULTS.

I'm wondering how Hartofsec knows that Old_Row is still in school...or thinks it knows that. (I'm not even assuming anymore that anyone is male or female.)

Oh and incidentally for the oh so charming poster who quotes me like it's your job, I didn't say that joining the nontrad students group would be a substitute for being in a sorority.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfvTwv5o1Qs

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And since I apparently offended Junior League by suggesting they might not take anyone that wants in, I will say that competitiveness can occur in ANY organization. Chamber of Commerce, Jaycees, hospital auxiliary, PTA, you name it - and yes I am talking about organizations for ADULTS.

That isn't at all what you suggested, this is what you stated:

Originally Posted by 33girl

And OR is so right about the Junior League being just as, if not more competitive than a sorority in some places. That's why I kind of inwardly chortle when people suggest it (i.e. if you thought sorority rush was full of rejectment, you ain't seen NOTHING yet).

It appears that the assumptions were your own. Your comments (made with AUTHORITY) were based on nothing more than a negative stereotype -- the same sort of "tent talk" that is discouraged here.

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm wondering how Hartofsec knows that Old_Row is still in school...or thinks it knows that.

She has admonished me for being her mother's age (a woman of my "advanced age" lol). She said she was in school upthread.

[pbear19]

Originally Posted by Hartofsec

That isn't at all what you suggested, this is what you stated:

Actually, what 33girl said is true. READ what she said. She said that it is competitive in SOME PLACES. Not everywhere. Some places. That is perfectly true. And yes, I can say that with some authority, since I have been a dues-paying member of 3 different AJLI-affiliated Leagues in 3 different parts of the country since 2002, including being a delegate to an ODI where I met women from countless other Leagues and learned about their processes. There are some Leagues that are extremely competitive. It may not be the norm anymore, but that doesn't make 33girl's statement anything less than absolutely true.

(And I am quite certain I am not in any kind of clique on GC.)

[IrishLake]

Ow. My eyes hurt.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by Old_Row

Totally agree. I was all when I looked.

Originally Posted by WhiteDaisy128

First link I found definitely gave me info that could be side-eyed during recruitment.

OMG. I know, right?

[adpiucf]

You can start your own student organization (local or nationally affiliated) at nearly any university. Check with your school's requirements for minimum number of members. Once you submit this paperwork, you are recognized as a student organization and can receive funding.

So I suggest that the first thing you do is to advertise around campus to drum up interest to see if there is any interest in this group you want to form. If there is no interest, you are on your own and you will see that this is not going to work out. In that case, time to pick a new activity or join another established group.

However, if there is interest and once you have a core group, you can meet and decide together what your name/officers/colors/symbols/philanthropy/recruitment process will be. Once you have that core group, you can apply to be recognized as a student org and get funding. There may be deadlines per the school. Talk to someone in student affairs who oversees student clubs and organizations to find out the min number of members required and the applicable paperwork and deadlines you need to fulfill.

If the national groups dedicated to moms aren't responding to you, I'd suggest forming a local group.

You might find fellowship and much more time saved by investigating the available student groups on your campus and in your community, but best of luck if you decide to start an org from scratch. It is a lot of work.

[AnchorAlumna]

Why hasn't this thread turned into a train wreck already?
Hmph! I taking my popcorn and flouncing away!

[Always AlphaGam]

Enter key is BROKEN!!! Enter key is BROKEN!!!

[DGTess]

One more thought.

Let's presume you do start a sorority for moms. Perhaps you gear it initially to those who have young children - pre-schoolers (or whatever) - since one presumes you will be seeking those who are similar to you. After all, that's what traditional sorority chapters do.

Children grow. Soon they're off to different activities, and the moms find if they had no other experiences in common, they grow apart. You'll find that's what often happens to mom's groups built as part of alumnae chapters. If the women are of a like age, and perhaps went to the same school, they may bond over more than their children, but if the only thing they have in common is the age of their children, life gets in the way. Not saying this MUST happen, but the likelihood is high.

Thus there would be a difficulty in maintaining a common thread for the women in your sorority, and it would (probably) require significantly more work than other organizations.

Just another thing to consider.

[MaggieXi]

One question lingers for me with all these recent postings by late 20 somethings (and it seems we've had quite a few lately): WHY do you want to joint an organization where the majority of women are 5-10 years your junior? Take away the letters, take away what you see in the media - Why a collegiate social sorority?

Is it for sisterhood? Philanthropy? Leadership? Similar ideals or values? There are THOUSANDS of organizations out there that provide the same or extremely similar experiences for women your age, such as Junior League, Beta Sigma Phi, religous organizations, philanthropic organizations, mommy groups, MeetUp groups, Quarter Life Crisis Groups, etc. Your university may also have a group for older students as well.

The reality of the situation is that by the time you are 25, obtaining membership in a collegiate social sorority ship has most likely sailed. Sure you can say "I know of someone who joined when they were 27", but those are very few and far between. And if you say "OMG, I know 10 people on my campus who are 30 and got bids", well then, the sororities just did not choose you for membership. You were not discriminated against because of your age or being a mom. They simply liked someone else more than they liked you. It's like dating - sometimes their just not that into you.