Pregnant Sorority Member

[katydidKD]

Originally Posted by 33girl

exactly. I feel the same way about groups/policies that decrease the requirements for seniors, don't allow them on exec board etc. Yes, some seniors are crazy busy and welcome the break, but some aren't and don't relish feeling like they're being pushed out. It's different for everyone.

From being in a chapter that had almost no requirements for seniors to now requiring the same of them--- it seems like people are upset either way. Seniors were always welcome at everything when it wasn't required, but they felt like no one wanted them there. Now that they have to be there, it is like no one respects their senior status/understands they are crazy busy with other things.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

OMFG How dare you! Not everyone has a wall to hang a banner on! Not everyone has walls, or maybe their House Corp. won't let them hang up anything. I can't believe how insensitive you are!

Hey, I didn't have a wall to hang stuff on, either! Just because I like kicking myself when I'm down doesn't mean you have to call me insensitive!

Maybe I should just hang my banner on your face!

Originally Posted by BluPhire

This quote right here has me as an outsider looking in feeling like man are ya'll really a sisterhood or a clique?

Just comments from the outside.

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

sororities are sisterhoods but they are also businesses and have to break even, by continuing to at least replace their membership who graduate, drop their membership, transfer to another school, etc.

I understand what FSUZeta is saying, and I completely agree, however... BluPhire, this is what it sounds like to me, also. In the context of this thread, we're talking about the importance of supporting a sister through a difficult/emotional time, over caring about how a non-member views the chapter.

It's one thing if a member is getting wasted every weekend, sleeping with every guy she sees, posting inappropriate pictures on Facebook, and/or has been treating potential members with little to no respect. It's another if a member gets pregnant/is diagnosed with a serious disease/has a family member go to prison, etc.

Everyone has their own shit to deal with. Life happens. And who knows.. maybe having a baby is exactly what this person wanted. And then her sisters are going to turn their backs on her because she, as an adult, made an adult decision to have a child? ... just so non-members won't think, "That's the chapter with the girl who got knocked up"?

To me, it's like any other PNM/chapter relationship. If the PNM thinks she's too good for the chapter (for whatever reason), then she doesn't belong there. Simple as that.

[GreekGirley]

Would you say the same about the image of the chapter if this were not an isolated incident? ...Say what if there were more than 1 pregnant co-ed presently in the chapter. Would that change your opinion of the particular sorority's image?

[agzg]

What is the issue, here? Are there lots and lots of members who are pregnant right now?

Perhaps, then, you should have some member programming covering the benefits of various contraceptive methods and where to get them.

[Shellfish]

I really hate use of the word "coed" for female college students. They're just students, the same as male ones. It's not like they're a novelty on campus. I don't think I've ever heard a female student even use the term before.

[BluPhire]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Hey, I didn't have a wall to hang stuff on, either! Just because I like kicking myself when I'm down doesn't mean you have to call me insensitive!

Maybe I should just hang my banner on your face!





I understand what FSUZeta is saying, and I completely agree, however... BluPhire, this is what it sounds like to me, also. In the context of this thread, we're talking about the importance of supporting a sister through a difficult/emotional time, over caring about how a non-member views the chapter.

It's one thing if a member is getting wasted every weekend, sleeping with every guy she sees, posting inappropriate pictures on Facebook, and/or has been treating potential members with little to no respect. It's another if a member gets pregnant/is diagnosed with a serious disease/has a family member go to prison, etc.

Everyone has their own shit to deal with. Life happens. And who knows.. maybe having a baby is exactly what this person wanted. And then her sisters are going to turn their backs on her because she, as an adult, made an adult decision to have a child? ... just so non-members won't think, "That's the chapter with the girl who got knocked up"?

To me, it's like any other PNM/chapter relationship. If the PNM thinks she's too good for the chapter (for whatever reason), then she doesn't belong there. Simple as that.

Thumbs up, exactly.

My comment was in context of the topic and this particular issue, not the NPC overall view. (I think that was already answered with people saying consult an advisor or contact National HQ.) It just seemed soo...I don't know the word, dismissive. Like hey, "We understand what you are going through, but we gotta think about the bottom line."

Originally Posted by Greekgirly

Would you say the same about the image of the chapter if this were not an isolated incident? ...Say what if there were more than 1 pregnant co-ed presently in the chapter. Would that change your opinion of the particular sorority's image?

I know it isn't my place so take my words with a grain of salt(non-NPC commenter) I would say yes it would be different. From my experience just from an NPHC point of view, image is everything. Isolated incident is one thing, majority image problem.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by GreekGirley

Would you say the same about the image of the chapter if this were not an isolated incident? ...Say what if there were more than 1 pregnant co-ed presently in the chapter. Would that change your opinion of the particular sorority's image?

What, like a pregnancy pact?

And yeah, co-ed is a word from either 1) 1950 or 2)p0rn.

[IrishLake]

Maybe we can start our own sorority for pregnant chicks! Yes!!!

[flirt5721]

When I was active we had one of our sisters pregnant and she was active at the time too. In fact she was our Panhellenic delegate. She did go alum at the end of the semester but that was because she was going to be a 5th year senior.

Although, I heard, there were some chapters that would make their members go alum.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

Maybe we can start our own sorority for pregnant chicks! Yes!!!

There's at least one sorority for mothers out there, so why not?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And yeah, co-ed is a word from either 1) 1950 or 2)p0rn.

Not only that. Use of co-ed as a noun sometimes occurs for the following reasons:

(1) The speaker may have extensive knowledge and experience with both single-sex and co-ed institutions which leads them to distinguish between whether a student is co-ed or not. I (and others) definitely find some differences in how students across mixed-sex institutions and across single-sex instutitions (in general) behave both inside and outside of the classroom.

(2) Co-ed as a noun is used in reference to women much more than men (you will sometimes hear people say "co-eds" in reference to all students at a mixed-sex institution) because men are not the ones who were initially excluded from these colleges and universities. Women are. History doesn't mysteriously disappear especially considering how some mixed-sex institutions were single-sex (for whatever reasons) a little more than a generation ago.

(3) Although women are said to outnumber men in many mixed-sex colleges and universities today, there remains over 50 women's colleges and over 50 men's colleges in the U.S., with a few more men's colleges than women's colleges.

(4) Even with (3), when traveling, attending conferences with college students, and so forth, people are much more likely to encounter women who attend a woman's college than they are to encounter a man who attends a man's college. But you are much more likely to encounter a college student who attends a mixed-sex college or university--many of which were once single-sex.

That is context. Point being, some people are offended by the use of co-ed as a noun but some people either are not offended or do not care either way. If co-ed as a noun sounds outdated or p0rn to some people, that is completely fine. But, those who occasionally use it do not have to stop using it because of that. At the same time, those who occasionally use it can spare themselves the constant sermons by using co-ed as a noun around those who understand the context in which it is being used.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Not only that. Use of co-ed as a noun sometimes occurs for the following reasons:

(1) The speaker may have extensive knowledge and experience with both single-sex and co-ed institutions which leads them to distinguish between whether a student is co-ed or not. I (and others) definitely find some differences in how students across mixed-sex institutions and across single-sex instutitions (in general) behave both inside and outside of the classroom.

(2) Co-ed as a noun is used in reference to women much more than men (you will sometimes hear people say "co-eds" in reference to all students at a mixed-sex institution) because men are not the ones who were initially excluded from these colleges and universities. Women are. History doesn't mysteriously disappear especially considering how some mixed-sex institutions were single-sex (for whatever reasons) a little more than a generation ago.

(3) Although women are said to outnumber men in many mixed-sex colleges and universities today, there remains over 50 women's colleges and over 50 men's colleges in the U.S., with a few more men's colleges than women's colleges.

(4) Even with (3), when traveling, attending conferences with college students, and so forth, people are much more likely to encounter women who attend a woman's college than they are to encounter a man who attends a man's college. But you are much more likely to encounter a college student who attends a mixed-sex college or university--many of which were once single-sex.

That is context. Point being, some people are offended by the use of co-ed as a noun but some people either are not offended or do not care either way. If co-ed as a noun sounds outdated or p0rn to some people, that is completely fine. But, those who occasionally use it do not have to stop using it because of that. At the same time, those who occasionally use it can spare themselves the constant sermons by using co-ed as a noun around those who understand the context in which it is being used.

1) That would make sense if both men and women were called co-eds, but they're not.
2) I have literally never heard someone use co-ed as a noun to refer to a male student. I think you're really begging the question here though. Removal of the noun co-ed from vocabularies isn't an attempt to erase or ignore a history of sexism.
3)Both single sex and co-ed colleges exist, I agree. But I don't see the connection here.
4) Again, presuming the stats back that up, I'd agree. But I don't see the relevance.

However, looking at 33girl's post and yours, and even looking at mine and yours, I don't see a sermon coming from anyone on the anti-"co-ed" side of the fence. Even taking into account the fact that you and I have discussed the matter before on here. If you're receiving sermons from other places and people, then perhaps it's a hint, or a sign, or at least a suggestion to do what you yourself mentioned, use it only in the context where everyone will agree to its usefulness.

It may indeed have been a really useful usage of the word in the past, I really can't speak to that. But I can say that outside of your use, and the troll's I have only heard it in relation to porn (or quasi-porn - GGW and such) or from the elderly.

[AnchorAlum]

Originally Posted by GreekGirley

Not going to say where I'm from or what conference my school is in, but suffice it to say that Greek Life is a big deal at this school...

How do your sorority chapters address situations where a member gets pregnant? Do you let her stay, make her resign, what? I realize it's a sensitive topic and I want to try and be sensitive about it, but I'm at a loss on what to do.

Also, this girl still has our sorority letters in her facebook pictures. If she resigns or is asked to leave but stays at the same school (instead of transfer to go alum), do you ask her to remove the letters from her FB page?

Thanks for your help.

1. She drops out of school and makes up a story that she has to go take care of her terminally ill grandmother.
2. Despite your best efforts to stay in touch, she's suddenly gone gone gone. No one can reach her.
3. She returns the next year, and somehow she's "different" but you can't exactly explain why. She's a little heavier and feels the need to talk about her grandmother's southern cooking and how she made biscuits every night, even though she was TERMINALLY ILL.

Five years after graduation you all get together for your first "reunion". She doesn't show up, but one of your chapter sisters finally breaks out the story after a late night of revelry, drinking, and stories about how much fun it was in college....yep, in case y'all didn't know what happened, she was PREGNANT and so and so was the father and he never offered to marry her.

Welcome to 1968. Happened in countless houses on campuses everywhere, and it happened a lot in the South. Happened to my big sis! Except she got the boy to marry her. Last I heard they were still married.

[naraht]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

(3) Although women are said to outnumber men in many mixed-sex colleges and universities today, there remains over 50 women's colleges and over 50 men's colleges in the U.S., with a few more men's colleges than women's colleges.

50 men's colleges? As best as I can tell, only if you are including Roman Catholic Seminaries and Rabbinical Schools. According to Wikipedia... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men%27s..._United_States)

"As of December 2008, there were three non-religious institutions in the United States that were most commonly recognized as four-year men's colleges. These are:
Hampden-Sydney College, Hampden-Sydney, Virginia
Morehouse College, Atlanta, Georgia
Wabash College, Crawfordsville, Indiana"

Randy

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

1) That would make sense if both men and women were called co-eds, but they're not.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

2) I have literally never heard someone use co-ed as a noun to refer to a male student.

I understand if you have never heard that use. Since you can't walk through life with me, I'll just give an Internet-based example:

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/U-of-C-to-Let-Male-Female-Students-Sleep-Together.html

If this attempt at sexual connotation makes coed as a noun still offensive, that still isn't the same as the claim that coed is only/100%/always/with no exceptions used for women.

And since I was in a blessed Seder all evening....

An article in The Jewish Advocate titled "Muslim and Jewish Coeds Under Sukkah;" and an article in Jewish Exponent titled "Israel Trip Preps Coeds for Advocacy" These articles are not only talking about female college students.

I have access through JSTOR but excerpts:

http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-204134537.html

http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P1-105675729.html

Originally Posted by Drolefille

If you're receiving sermons from other places and people...

That was figurative.

Originally Posted by naraht

50 men's colleges? As best as I can tell, only if you are including Roman Catholic Seminaries and Rabbinical Schools.

"Over 50." Correct, there are more women's liberal arts colleges than men's liberal arts colleges (which could also contribute to some people thinking of women at co-education institutions as "coeds" in the 21st century). All-male is all-male regardless of whether they are religious or non-religious institutions. For the record, there are actually less than 50 women's colleges if only considering 4-year liberal arts.