Involved sorority collegiate turns invisible alumna

[LouisaMay]

At District Days (ASA's district-wide convention), I attended a session that brought alums and collegians together to discuss alum/collegian relations. It was an excellent session. Over and over again, we learned that the collegians had absolutely NO IDEA what an alumnae chapter was. Many of them believed that being involved in an alumnae chapter would be as time-consuming and business-oriented as operating a collegiate chapter (paperwork, deadlines, etc.). They were shocked to learn that our alum chapter gets together about once per month for social event like a happy hour, a pool party, or scrapbooking, and we do two major charity events each year. Blew their minds! Yes, many of these women are super-busy, active, overachievers, and the thought of doing MORE of that after graduation does not sound good at all but going to a movie with a few recent alums sounds fun!

Perhaps alumnae and HQ need to better communicate to collegians the realities of alumnae life. I've also been surprised and pleased at the wide variety of volunteer opportunities. Our volunteer cooridinators can find you a position that will keep you busy 5 to 7 days per week, or they can match you up with a once per year commitment.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

One of the problems with being an officer of a struggling chapter is that it often gets to the point where it feels like chapter vs. HQ. After years of being on the chapter side, it is hard to turn around and flip sides, in a way. I'm sure there are others around who know what I mean.

I see what you're getting at, but alumnae chapters =/= HQ. Alumnae are just...alumnae.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

There is also some reluctancy to get involved if you move somewhere after graduation with which you aren't familiar.

I was going to say that's all the better reason to join, unless you end up in a city where most of the alumnae are from the same chapter, and the culture is totally different.

Originally Posted by 33girl

I know that one of our most active alum chapters is Nova (Northern Virginia) and most people have said that's because pretty much everyone in it is a transplant to the area - they were looking for a way to connect with other people because they knew no one and ASA was it.

Yeah, our DC chapter (of which I am an officer) is like that. We have members from SO many chapters/cities, no one feels singled out because it is such a mix. Most of our members are single, young professionals, often recent transplants. I'd imagine our NYC, Boston, Chicago, and LA chapters are like that too, since large cities usually=lots of transplants.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Like, the women from a certain chapter tend to think "Chapter First, Sorority Second" so it doesn't occur to them to get involved post-graduation because XYZ = XY chapter, and why would they want to branch out?

Originally Posted by 33girl

Welllll....that's the way we rush, isn't it?

I don't think any NPC can gripe about that until rush stops =ing "the women in the sororities pick the girls they like the most and the rushees pick the sorority they feel the most comfortable with."

How would you suggest changing that for the better? Each NPHC group has stereotypes, good or bad, that are pretty consistently agreed upon. I don't think there are 26 unique niches to be filled, nor would I want my sorority to have a national stereotype.

I think one of the best ways to increase the chances of alumnae involvement is for collegians to attend Convention/regional conferences/other events with other chapters. I know this sounds cheesy and idealistic, but the beauty of the NPC is that each group has a variety of chapters and they all take on different personalities, but you all took the same Initiation vows, and that is what binds you. Once you meet women from tons of different chapters, you realize that despite your different experiences, you probably do have a lot in common. I was astonished at how many women I click with from so many chapters of my sorority.

Unfortunately, it's a vicious cycle. We can't expect our members to become super-involved alumnae if they don't see examples of involved alumnae as collegians.

[carnation]

Programming that attracts every member is important but hard to do. When I was in the Arkansas and Honolulu alum chapters, about 10% of us were under 25 and the rest were blue-haired. When rush was over, it was hard to find much common ground!

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I see what you're getting at, but alumnae chapters =/= HQ. Alumnae are just...alumnae.

I was going to say that's all the better reason to join, unless you end up in a city where most of the alumnae are from the same chapter, and the culture is totally different.

Yeah, our DC chapter (of which I am an officer) is like that. We have members from SO many chapters/cities, no one feels singled out because it is such a mix. Most of our members are single, young professionals, often recent transplants. I'd imagine our NYC, Boston, Chicago, and LA chapters are like that too, since large cities usually=lots of transplants.

If i actually end up moving out here we're going to have to meet

[33girl]

Originally Posted by LouisaMay

Many of them believed that being involved in an alumnae chapter would be as time-consuming and business-oriented as operating a collegiate chapter (paperwork, deadlines, etc.).

One of the recently graduated girls from Gannon went to alum Panhel with me (I was an APH member at large before there was an ASA alum chapter here) and she was like "do we recite the Panhellenic creed?" I had to tell her many of the current APH members probably didn't remember it. She had the same fears though - that it would be too much to do and take up too much time to get involved as an alum.

Originally Posted by violetpretty

How would you suggest changing that for the better? Each NPHC group has stereotypes, good or bad, that are pretty consistently agreed upon. I don't think there are 26 unique niches to be filled, nor would I want my sorority to have a national stereotype.

I think one of the best ways to increase the chances of alumnae involvement is for collegians to attend Convention/regional conferences/other events with other chapters. I know this sounds cheesy and idealistic, but the beauty of the NPC is that each group has a variety of chapters and they all take on different personalities, but you all took the same Initiation vows, and that is what binds you. Once you meet women from tons of different chapters, you realize that despite your different experiences, you probably do have a lot in common. I was astonished at how many women I click with from so many chapters of my sorority.

That's what I would suggest too. Unfortunately, there's usually only a few collegians that get to do that, and as far as the rest, they really can't process it. It would be nice if there were just purely social events that whole chapters could attend to get to know each other.

Quite frankly, there are times when XYZ at State U is the "cool" chapter on campus and wants nothing to do with XYZ at Cuckoo Colllege who is the "nerdy" chapter on their campus if they come to visit. You can talk to them about vows and bonds till you're blue in the face, but it doesn't always work that way. I wish it did.

[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by DolphinChicaDDD

Sometimes I feel like Alumnae groups need to remember they had to work to get members as collegiate. While they are already half way there, heck we all are members, but it is still about wanting to join and belong. When I moved to across the country, the first thing I did was join the alumnae chapter. I went to the first meeting and aside from being recognized when they asked new members to stand, I was invisible. I walked in, no one welcomed me. I left, no one said good bye. I felt like the odd girl out. It completely turned me off to the chapter.

This was pretty much my experience. The president made sure to come chat with me for a minute, which was sweet of her, but everyone else quickly formed their groups and I didn't feel confortable breaking in. After the first event I resolved to try harder next time, but at the next event when I did join the conversation it turned out that I didn't really have much to contribute. The younger set (my age group) was all from one of the chapters in the area and since they all knew each other they were talking about mutual friends, their chapter, etc. The rest of the women were older and were talking about their husbands, kids, etc. I had, quite literally, nothing to say.

I don't blame the chapter since I don't really see a way to change things. The only thing I can think of is more structured activity that forces people to mix and mingle, but I think participation would go down if you were making a group of grown women do icebreakers every time they got together. It seemed like everyone just wanted to relax and chat with their friends, which I completely understand... it just doesn't leave much room for newcomers. One of the other members told me they had a hard time retaining new members because they complained that the group felt "cliquey" and I didn't have the heart to tell her that was why I wouldn't be back next time.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I don't know about other orgs, but mine discourages very young alumnae from being too involved with the collegiate chapter. Certainly we were welcome to come down for recruitment and hold trays of punch and what-not, but being on an advisory committee while there are still women in the chapter with whom you were a collegian is a bit sticky. I definitely understand why they'd look for women further removed from college, or at least from different chapters, but it leads to a sense of "oh, we don't need you" followed by "please come back" four years later.

My org is the same. I do understand the rationale, but I wish there was a way I could get involved, even minimally. I hate to complain about my org, but it's tough when you're expected to contribute so much for so many years and are suddenly told your help is no longer needed as soon as you graduate - especially when it's burned into your brain as an undergrad that "sisterhood is forever" and alumnae are such highly valued members of the org. I do think this varies depending on where you are, though - I have sisters my age who have been able to assist with recruitment or chaperoning, or have become "assistant advisors" at chapters in other parts of the country, but when I tried to get involved in these ways I either never received a response or was told I couldn't do anything at all until I was two years out (which I'm pretty sure is incorrect).

I do still want to advise (when I'm eligible) and get involved with an alumnae association, but I can see how many members would get discouraged by all this and never re-connect with the org. To be honest, I haven't really had any positive experiences with my org since graduation (except for interactions with friends in my own chapter). I would love to have the opportunity to work to change that someday because I love my org and it seems like such a waste to lose alums who want to stay involved.

ETA: It IS reassuring to see other women posting similar experiences to mine. I was beginning to think I was some kind of freak since normally all you hear about is super-positive alumna experiences...

[ZetaGirl22]

I am unfortunately one of the slackers. I was VERY involved as a collegian. I was on Exec for 2 terms, very involved in the chapter, even took a small position on our Programming Council my last semester on campus (Greek Week Chair), I was a Rho Chi, etc. Our chapter WAS a struggling chapter, but I don't think I burnt out or was a us vs. IO mentality for me anyway. I went to an event with our local alumnae chapter literally 2 months after I graduated but I quickly moved to a new town, and while the old chapter was close enough for me to still go to stuff, my work schedule got in the way. I looked into the chapter in my new town, but again, work. And it was like that for the next few years (I didnt have a normal 9-5 schedule, I worked 10-7 and many of the events were in the evenings and on the weekends I was just too tired to really do anything LOL) I REALLY intended on getting involved in our local alumnae chapter and became a member in Fall '09. This chapter is small and didn't have a whole lot going on programming wise. THEN I got accepted to nursing school, and now that I'm in nursing school, I have NO LIFE. Its and evening/weekend program and literally all of my evening and weekend time is swallowed whole with class/clinical/study. I want to be more involved. Hopefully when I graduate this can happen, but who knows. As a new grad RN I'm not likely to be working very normal hours either.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by AGDAlum

My reply will not add much new to the mix, except for my story. I was a very involved undergraduate, then served a year as a leadership consultant. My first professional position was in a town 40 miles from the collegiate chapter I worked to create, and for the next four years I served as an adviser. (Hi, Carnation! )

Hi, AGDAlum! Was that the A&M chapter?

People have touched on another problem with alum chapters. I've actually known women from many sororities who quit going to alum meetings because some alums made it clear to them that their chapter wasn't one of the "preferred" ones. Like: "Those of us from AB and YZ chapters are the cool ones in this group and don't you forget it; you ladies from MN chapter (who we feel don't deserve to wear our letters) may sit on the sidelines and observe our greatness."

[ADqtPiMel]

I wouldn't say I'm a slacker -- I started advising a month after graduation, though not my chapter of initiation. But I'm not active in an alumnae association. It's kind of funny that others have referenced their DC alumnae associations as very diverse, collegiate chapter-wise, as I've found that ours is almost all Maryland and GWU grads.

My reasoning is mostly time -- I work long and erratic hours, I'm married, and I have a time consuming hobby (marathon training). Any extra time I have left over is going to go toward the commitment I made to the collegiate chapter. But as others have referenced, I don't really have that much motivation to try to break through the cliques in the AA.

[FSUZeta]

i don't know the rules of other sororities alumnae chapters but with zta chapters, one goal we have is to strive for 10 % membership growth per year. If your sorority has a similar goal, even if you make only one meeting(or none) but pay your membership dues to the chapter yearly, it will be appreciated. it also keeps you in the alumnae loop, because it helps defray costs and keeps you on the email list.

[AnchorAlumna]

Years and years ago, I ran into a fellow DG alum in our small city. I had actually been told by a regional officer that she was moving here. This gal, who had just finished her term as chapter president, brightly asked, "What day of the week do we meet?"
She was shocked when I told her that our small group was doing well to meet once a quarter!

The first couple of times I attended an alum meeting (and it was the younger alums), I was sandwiched between two young mothers who discussed diapering details and toilet training. I was newly married and freshly graduated and had no intention of reproducing for several more years!
I almost didn't go back...it took three or four meetings before I meshed with the gals more at my own stage of life.

That's one thing I like about being a sorority alum...if you can't participate for a few years, it's always there to come back to.

[FSUZeta]

so true, anchoralumna!

[Lil' Hannah]

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

It's kind of funny that others have referenced their DC alumnae associations as very diverse, collegiate chapter-wise, as I've found that ours is almost all Maryland and GWU grads.

Interesting...DG's DC chapter has only a few MD or GW (or AU) members. I always assumed it was because so many stay in the area after college and don't need to join the alumnae chapter because they already have each other.

[PiPhiERDoc]

My organization also has a policy about young alumnae not serving on our AAC - however, dispensation can be granted if the alumnae advisory committee desperately needs members (which was why I got on so early after graduation). Its probably different depending on where you are in the country, but I know that all the organizations on our campus are usually very much in need of alumnae to serve on their advisory committees. I think this is because being a small private school almost no one is from the area OR stays in the area when they graduate, so there is a very small alum pool to draw on.