Worst Wedding Ever (vent)

[adpialumcsuc]

We had a relatively "cheap" wedding. BUT I absolutely made sure that there was enough food and beverages for everyone plus a lot extra. We hired a "Chuck Wagon" to come BBQ and they had so much food that I don't think we made a dent. Plus he left most of the left overs and everyone digged in later after they had been drinking for hours.

[aephi alum]

I left out a couple of details!

The tables were set with plastic plates, forks and knives, and glasses. I can sort of understand this, as the couple was concerned that the food be kosher and it could be tough to round up 200+ properly prepared place settings. The food was a buffet, and we were not warned to bring our plates with us to the buffet line, which left more than one guest scurrying back to the table for their plates.

(A better approach with the food, given the difficulty of finding a kosher caterer, would have been to serve a vegetarian meal, maybe with some fish.)

The plastic "wine glasses" were in the shape of champagne glasses. Champagne was not being served. I saw other tables set with plastic wine glasses that were actually shaped like wine glasses. It was apparent that they'd gone to a party supply store, bought whatever wine glasses were in stock, realized there weren't enough, and rather than going to another party supply store for more wine glasses, they made up the difference with champagne glasses.

Before a meal, it is traditional to say kiddush and motzi (blessings for wine and bread, respectively). These prayers are usually led by relatives of the bride and/or groom. We were instructed where to go to wash (it's traditional to wash your hands before the motzi) but no one told us that we were expected to say kiddush and motzi for ourselves... so there we were, sitting and waiting and very confused and hungry, until my husband finally gave up and recited the prayers for the benefit of those at our table.

Then there were the invitations. We received ours about two weeks before the wedding. (We'd gotten a verbal invitation, and other guests had also received their invitations around the same time, so it's not like we were on the B list. They really sent all the invitations that late.) There was no reply card; rather, there was a slip of paper instructing us to RSVP by email. And they plainly assumed all the people who didn't reply were going to be there; three of the people seated at my table didn't show up, and there were similar gaps at the other tables (and even so, they ran out of food).

Needless to relate, after we ducked out of the reception, we made tracks to a bar.

The important thing is that they are married and happy. I wish them many wonderful years together.

Jill, thank you for that website. I've been reading it and LMAO! I'm going to submit this story if I find any evidence that it's still being maintained.

[NinjaPoodle]

LOL @ this entire thread.
Have you guys read Ghetto Wedding Stories over in the Alpha Kappa Alpha forum? It's long but worth it.
My brother is getting married this weekend and I fear I may have a story to write soon.
(mumbles under breath) Patron of weddings, pray for us!!

[moe.ron]

Plastics for wedding? Now that is bad.

[ZTAngel]

The AKA forum has some hilarious stories in there wedding thread. I wrote one a few months ago about a Redneck wedding I went to but I'm too lazy to go find it.

I was invited to a friend's wedding a few months ago. She was friends with both my roommate and I. Now, let's say two people live together and are just roommates, how many invitations would you send? Everyone remember this rule of etiquette: unless they are a couple, you send an invitation to each person. She tried to make her wedding as cheap as possible so she sent a wedding invitation addressed to both "Ms. ZTAngel and Ms. ZTAngel's Roommate". Tacky, Tacky, Tacky. My roommate joked, "Since she sent us only one invitation, does that mean we only have to give one gift?" I thought about it but then decided that would be wrong of us. Instead, we got drunk at the wedding and started telling people that apparently we are now Lesbian Life Partners since the invitation was addressed to both of us.
On top of it, there wasn't a reply card in the invitation. The invitation (which had spelling errors by the way) had at the bottom the couple's email address for people to RSVP to.
The wedding itself was pretty bad, too, although not as bad as aephi alum's wedding horror story.
It has been a little over three months since the wedding. I am still waiting patiently for my thank-you card for the gift.

[SSS1365]

Originally posted by ZTAngel

It has been a little over three months since the wedding. I am still waiting patiently for my thank-you card for the gift.

Yikes, I was horrible about getting thank you cards out quickly. I'm sure it took me more than 3 months to do it because we bought a house like right after the wedding and were busy trying to make it liveable since we had to buy it "as is." I felt better when someone informed me that technically you have a year to get them out, but now I feel bad again.

[xo_kathy]

Well, while I don't have a personal story to share, here is a story to beat them ALL!!!! Glad I wasn't a guest at this one!!!!

Police: Wedding guests eat victim

MANILA, Philippines (AP) -- Four members of a family have been arrested and charged with murder for allegedly killing and eating a relative during a wedding reception -- and serving his flesh to unwitting party guests, police have said.

At the July 17 wedding of his daughter, Eladio Baule got angry with his cousin Benjie Ganay who tripped and accidentally touched the bride's bottom, said Senior Police Inspector Perla Bacuel, at Narra town in Palawan province, southwest of Manila.

A few hours later, Baule, his son Gerald, another cousin Junnie Buyot and a nephew, Sabtuari Pique, allegedly confronted Ganay, then drove him to a secluded place where they stabbed him to death, Bacuel said.

Buyot, who surrendered to police and is acting as a witness, told police they then roasted Ganay's body using coconut leaves and kerosene, Bacuel said.

Baule senior later forced Buyot to take a bite of Ganay's flesh, which he claims he threw up but was then forced at knifepoint to swallow, Bacuel said.

Buyot told police that the group returned to the party and served some of Ganay's cooked remains to guests who were still celebrating the wedding, Bacuel said.

"It was perhaps due to their drunkenness. They probably didn't know what they were eating," he said.

Buyot reported the incident several days later to a local village leader who took him to police. Pique also surrendered, and Baule and his son were arrested.

Superintendent Rey Lanada, Palawan provincial police chief, said cannibalism would be treated as an aggravating circumstance in the crime.

[aephi alum]

One more thing... (this is not the bride and groom's fault)

It was made patently obvious that in their families' view (or at least, in her family's view) the only purpose for their marriage is to BREED. There were repeated references made to "our growing family" and how "wonderful" it will be when it "continues to grow". Her sisters said something about being there with her when she has her babies (when, not if - and babies, plural).

And... at one point a group of women got out on the dance floor and started making motions as if rocking babies, while the band played "Rockabye Baby"

I have the feeling that a baby had better materialize next May or else!

[texas*princess]

Originally posted by aephi alum
While we're on the subject of food, the cake was our old friend -- SHEET CAKE.

ROFLMAO!!!

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by aephi alum
One more thing... (this is not the bride and groom's fault)

It was made patently obvious that in their families' view (or at least, in her family's view) the only purpose for their marriage is to BREED. There were repeated references made to "our growing family" and how "wonderful" it will be when it "continues to grow". Her sisters said something about being there with her when she has her babies (when, not if - and babies, plural).

And... at one point a group of women got out on the dance floor and started making motions as if rocking babies, while the band played "Rockabye Baby"

I have the feeling that a baby had better materialize next May or else!

I think that Orthodox Jews are supposed to be fruitful and multiply. I have heard of Orthodox families with at least six children. Am I correct? Is that just Hassidic Jews?

[wrigley]

Originally posted by aephi alum
One more thing... (this is not the bride and groom's fault)

It was made patently obvious that in their families' view (or at least, in her family's view) the only purpose for their marriage is to BREED. There were repeated references made to "our growing family" and how "wonderful" it will be when it "continues to grow". Her sisters said something about being there with her when she has her babies (when, not if - and babies, plural).

And... at one point a group of women got out on the dance floor and started making motions as if rocking babies, while the band played "Rockabye Baby"

I have the feeling that a baby had better materialize next May or else!

Is there any possibly that there was an extra guest at the reception that didn't eat Chinese food?

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by wrigley
Is there any possibly that there was an extra guest at the reception that didn't eat Chinese food?

I doubt it. These are Orthodox Jews. They're not supposed to hold hands before marriage, much less... you know

You're right, Cream - Orthodox Jews do often have large families. My understanding is that they do not believe in birth control.