Quitting school after an unsuccessful SEC recruitment

[agzg]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

You're right, from my experience. I met a number of women at Texas A&M who were there just for their MRS degree. They usually majored in elementary ed.

Ouch!

To be fair, I've met a lot of women from all kinds of schools who went to grad or undergrad for their MRS, as well as men for the equivalent.

[VandalSquirrel]

I meet a lot of women who already are an Mrs. and are 18-22. That blows my mind as being married in college is a completely foreign idea to me, as foreign as dropping out and changing schools over Greek membership or lack thereof.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I meet a lot of women who already are an Mrs. and are 18-22. That blows my mind as being married in college is a completely foreign idea to me, as foreign as dropping out and changing schools over Greek membership or lack thereof.

Sidenote: Maybe it's regional? I don't see a whole lot of that here. Most younger people here get married shortly following graduation (like 23 at the very youngest). Some girls might be ENGAGED during senior year, but very rarely do they get married while still in school (unless they're uber religious or pregnant).

As far as transfering when they don't get a bid, I only actually know of it happening once. A PNM went through COB at a certain chapter in Spring 2006, didn't get a bid, and left school (I'm not sure if leaving school had to do with not getting into XYZ). That next spring, she friended me on FB and I saw that she had transferred to a school in CO, gone through COB, and become an XYZ there. Weird.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Sidenote: Maybe it's regional? I don't see a whole lot of that here. Most younger people here get married shortly following graduation (like 23 at the very youngest). Some girls might be ENGAGED during senior year, but very rarely do they get married while still in school (unless they're uber religious or pregnant).

As far as transfering when they don't get a bid, I only actually know of it happening once. A PNM went through COB at a certain chapter in Spring 2006, didn't get a bid, and left school (I'm not sure if leaving school had to do with not getting into XYZ). That next spring, she friended me on FB and I saw that she had transferred to a school in CO, gone through COB, and become an XYZ there. Weird.

Here I definitely think it is related to certain religious faiths, specifically LDS and super conservative Christians. Even the less devout people I know get married in a year or so of graduation, and I still think that is crazy because I believe in graduate school. Not just being married but having multiple kids while in school, whether you're the mother or father just seems like an added stress (and kill joy) for college life at 18-25.

But I know we both haven't won at life yet, though having letters after our name and a job, as well as the ability to do whatever the hell we want without checking the schedules of a spouse or kids is our norm.

[princessamy]

never in a million years would i transfer schools because i had a bad recruitment. my parents would kill me. sadly i know plenty of girls who make sorority life the center of their college experience instead of education. so sad..

[BadCat25]

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

I disagree 100% with your defense. There is no defense.

ETA: Moreover, Greekdom does not need men and women who are so mentally and emotionally fragile that they would transfer because of an unsuccessful rush.

[Psi U MC Vito]

^^^ What she said. I rushed and didn't get into a fraternity. I didn't let that chase me away from NJIT. I just took it as a chance to get more active on campus. That ended up with me getting a bid, but even if it hadn't, I met some of my best friends doing it.

[KSUViolet06]

You're not giving anyone the "finger" by altering your life to avoid them.

To me, if you want to give sorority life "the finger," the best thing to do would be to continue at your current university and have a great college experience while living alongside those people.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

Until you go home and encounter the very same girls who are all from your hometown and in your social circle. And they all know you were ridiculous enough to put membership in the right sorority ahead of your education. Everyone will know why you took that long walk of shame to the other state school.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

If someone feels the need to change their whole life and transfer schools because they didn't get a bid they need to pledge the on campus counseling center, for real real, not for play play. Holy self esteem and confidence issues Batman. With your reasoning anyone with a failed relationship should transfer as well so they don't have to see their former partner in class, the dorm, on campus, at football games, or in the school newspaper, especially with their new honey. I'd be a hell of a lot more supportive of someone who had been in a very unhealthy relationship transferring than someone who didn't get a bid.

You're really only giving yourself the finger here, and I'm pretty sure the women who didn't choose a girl for membership weren't doing it with fingering in mind. Sometimes people have an unsuccessful rush and there's no fingering involved.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Until you go home and encounter the very same girls who are all from your hometown and in your social circle. And they all know you were ridiculous enough to put membership in the right sorority ahead of your education. Everyone will know why you took that long walk of shame to the other state school.

I can see in some circles that not getting in to the sorority, or any sorority is less shameful than transferring to try and get in to a different chapter of the sorority. Add in transferring back and not being accepted to affiliate and oh wow, exponential social pariah.

Of course in my circle joining a sorority period was kind of out there behavior, and some people would have been happy if I transferred home after having an unsuccessful rush and been all sorority hateful in their freaky supportive way. Applying and attending an SEC school would have been grounds for a mental health evaluation, as would attending most schools. There were schools we attended, and I definitely have gone a far different path by choosing a small state school where we cloned three mules and produced Sarah Palin & Deep Throat.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

There were schools we attended, and I definitely have gone a far different path by choosing a small state school where we cloned three mules and produced Sarah Palin & Deep Throat.

You're killing me tonight.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I can see in some circles that not getting in to the sorority, or any sorority is less shameful than transferring to try and get in to a different chapter of the sorority. Add in transferring back and not being accepted to affiliate and oh wow, exponential social pariah.

Of course in my circle joining a sorority period was kind of out there behavior, and some people would have been happy if I transferred home after having an unsuccessful rush and been all sorority hateful in their freaky supportive way. Applying and attending an SEC school would have been grounds for a mental health evaluation, as would attending most schools. There were schools we attended, and I definitely have gone a far different path by choosing a small state school where we cloned three mules and produced Sarah Palin & Deep Throat.

Will you please stop reminding people about Palin?!? Please??

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

You honestly think that people can't separate themselves from Greek life at large universities? If you're on a campus of 20/30/40,000 people and you continually run into "the people that rejected you," then you're probably trying to run into them.