panhellenic age limits

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by AXiD670

No one is "forced" to take alumnae status unless:
1. the chapter is closed, or
2. they graduate

There are campuses where the Greek life culture would be conducive to having a married woman come through recruitment and be an asset to any sorority she joined. Not everybody joins a sorority just to socialize with boys.

ETA: And this is not directed at anybody in particular, but I'm sick of the attitude (mostly from non-married people) that married people are "different" or that they can't have a social life. Sheesh, it's not like once you're married your life ends or you develop some horrible disease that cuts you off from any socialization of any sort.

We give married sisters the OPTION of becoming an alum. It's not required. Not sure about other chapters' rules.

"It's for her own good" IS offensive no matter how much collegians think that married women don't have time for sororities.

/Ewww Marriage cooties

[aopirose]

Originally Posted by AXiD670

ETA: And this is not directed at anybody in particular, but I'm sick of the attitude (mostly from non-married people) that married people are "different" or that they can't have a social life. Sheesh, it's not like once you're married your life ends or you develop some horrible disease that cuts you off from any socialization of any sort.

Your last sentence tickled me but so very true.

[Drolefille]

It does probably help that you were in said sorority in college. I kind of wonder how difficult it would be to relate if you were just starting college at 28 or so and had already been married/kids etc. It's certainly not impossible, but I think it would seem weird that these 18-22 year olds are in a completely different place in their lives.

You know, shouldn't you be with your husband instead of on GC all day?

/Don't hit me!

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

It does probably help that you were in said sorority in college. I kind of wonder how difficult it would be to relate if you were just starting college at 28 or so and had already been married/kids etc. It's certainly not impossible, but I think it would seem weird that these 18-22 year olds are in a completely different place in their lives.

I agree.

I sometimes wonder why an older/married woman would want to go through recruitment on campuses that have mostly 18-22 year old sorority women. My chapter had a girl a few years ago that ended up taking 6.5 years to graduate and she said that it was sometimes hard being 25 and trying to relate to the freshmen sisters. I'd imagine it would be even worse if a woman had tons of life experiences (marriage, children) that none of her sisters shared.

Don't get me wrong, I think any chapter would benefit from bidding an older PNM. It just seems like it would end up being a bad deal for the older PNM! I think I'd honestly go crazy if I were 30 and I had to deal with things like recruitment t-shirt drama or neverending mock rock practices.

[ASUADPi]

I think for me it would be encouraging chapters to move away from the thought that "oh their married" or "oh their 28" as a reason to cut a woman. You have to look at what the other stuff. Do you think she would be a good fit? Tell her about the time committments and ask her if she is willing to committ. I think we tend to forget that actives don't have to attend the date parties or the dances or stuff like that. They do have to go to chapters, philanthropy events, pledge class stuff (as a pledge). But if they don't want to put forth the extra effort they don't technically have to (although they won't really get to know the sisters well if they don't, it seems).

If the PNM understands, than who is to say because she is 28 and married that she wouldn't be an excellent sister. (The same goes for single women with kids). We don't look at the color of the PNM's skin or their religion as a basis for cuts, why should we look at if they have a wedding band on their finger or a kid for that matter? (Now obviously, if the sorority has rules against taking members who are married or with kids in their bylaws, this "theory" of mine wouldn't apply ).

I'm kind of rambling and I'm not sure if I'm making any sense. I apologize. Long day doing a school improvement plan (for actually the last three days and not done yet), so I'm a little exhausted.

[UGAalum94]

I guess I should say upfront that I'm not in favor of discrimination* in general. However, it's not surprising to me that at a many campuses where the majority of new member classes are 18 year old fresh-out-of-high-school kids, a 28 year old married woman would have a hard time getting a bid. Decisions about releases are made for pretty superficial reasons, not that that's a good thing, but something that seems at all atypical might get you cut.

As far as the "she could sue" idea, it's probably harder to really assess that we can do here. It's much more likely, in my opinion, that the groups would get in trouble with the university or their national group for violating their own non-discrimination rules.

As bad as it might seem sometimes, fully private groups on their own retain the "right" to discriminate.

At some campuses, despite the proclaimed values of the groups, meeting and dating hotties are the central reasons people go greek. If that's an important part of the system, many group members are going to find it weird that married folks rush.

I agree that it would be cool for groups to get beyond that.

*I'm being obsessive, but I want to clarify that on some level discrimination just has to do with telling differences or treating things differently. Generally, when people use the term they have in mind discrimination based on race, gender, age, nationality, etc. Obviously, I think that kind of discrimination is wrong. But I'm in favor of discriminating between people that I know who are idiots and people that I who are awesome. The faster you do it, the better.

[33girl]

Believe me, I've seen some 18 year olds that act more like old non-fun married people where their boyfriends are concerned than 28 (or heck, 38) year olds. I'm sure there are some cute young girls who got pledged at the school that cut this 28 year old who have turned out to be as much fun as a root canal.

[amanda6035]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Believe me, I've seen some 18 year olds that act more like old non-fun married people where their boyfriends are concerned than 28 (or heck, 38) year olds. I'm sure there are some cute young girls who got pledged at the school that cut this 28 year old who have turned out to be as much fun as a root canal.

HAH! I cannot freakin' STAND it when a girl says "oh my boyfriend won't let me..." or "my boyfriend wont like that..." blah blah blah. Hello, I'm the old Mama Hen in my chapter, and i'm engaged and my fiance doesnt stop me or prevent me from doing anything that I want to with the chapter. We had one girl quit last year because she was styuck so far up her boyfriends ass that it was a relief. She was a damn prude.

[OhSoSmoothKalyn]

I agree with an earlier post that there isn't no right or wrong answer to this question... there are certainly exceptions to the rule and not all 18 year olds are fun and energetic...

I pledged my sorority at the age of 18... in fact I was the second youngest in my class! I am very active... however, the oldest girl in my pledge class is 25, but she pledged when she was 23... she's very active when she can be... but work is very important to her... which shows her dedication...

There were rumors about a 42 year old woman going through recruitment at my school this year. I think she registered, but I didn't see her at any parties...

I think that there shouldn't be limitations to going through recruitment... as long as the person understands that they may or may not get a bid considering the circumstances and considerations of age, scholastic aptitude, campus/community involvement, character, ratio of Freshmen/Sophomores/Juniors/Seniors going through recruitment, etc...

[reverie]

Originally Posted by AXiD670

I completely agree.

ditto.


We have a few international students who are a little older--only about a year or two--and I would never have guessed that they were older because they're just as fun and down to earth as anyone else.

I would say a bigger drawback would be her class in school (a senior) than her age. Plus, you're never required to tell anyone how old you are. My school didn't give out birthdays (maybe others do?) and I think it would have been pretty tacky if someone asked her age in the middle of round one.

[FatalDSTination]

Originally Posted by 33girl

There is NO age limit on going through rush, and I'm guessing not to join any sororities either (unless it's a minimum, not a maximum). If there was, the NPC sororities and national Panhellenic would be in a world of trouble and age discrimination lawsuits.

absolutely! I was 25 when I crossed and one of my line sisters was older than me.