Is GDI better than not getting your top choice?

[ThetaPrincess24]

I think it just depends on the situation. My situation was unique. I was a 22 year old junior transfer coming through recruitment. I went in to recruitment without an intent to really go greek. i went through to meet people at a school I didnt know anyone at. I maximized all of my options throughout recruitment and opinions on chapters changed each day. By Preference I did have a full schedule but I knew I wanted Theta and Theta only and I suicided (though I wouldnt recommend that to most PNMs). By the end of the round I knew if I wasnt Theta then I didnt want to be greek and I was prepared that chances were high I wouldnt receive a bid by suiciding. Lucky for me it worked out, but that's not the case with most who suicide or dont maximize their options throughout recruitment.

So it depends on the person, campus, etc.

[baci]

This is such a tough question to answer so broadly. (much credit to those who have posted before me)

I really agree with ThetaPrincess24. So many factors are involved here and the answer will vary time and time again.

I could only answer this based on my experiences and again, that would not help you.
Each avenue (Greek or GDI) can be amazing and it just depends on the person.

[ASTalumna06]

Why do chapters have bid MATCHING?

Because the entire point of recruitment is to find where you want to be, and to have the chapters find the people they want.

The last thing that you want is to be somewhere where the sisters don't like or feel comfortable with you. Why would you want to spend the next 4 years in that environment simply to wear the "best" letters?

Coming from a school that only does COB, sometimes I think it's even harder to realize that you have to explore all of your options, because every PNM has the ability to only look at one chapter if they so chose.

And although it hasn't happened often since I've been a sister, I've seen girls not receive bids (after only having come to our recruitment parties), and then they're devastated when they don't. And it's SOOO hard from our side. Especially in the COB system we have. We have open events, and girls are able to come to any recruitment party that we have. But when they only come to ours, they limit their options. And it's funny, because if they really wanted, they could attend parties for all three sororities, receive bids for all three, and then decide which one they want to sign and accept. But some people are so focused on one group that they miss the big picture.

I joined the smallest chapter on my campus, and the one that, at the time, was the least prominent, in terms of being well-known. I realized that I, along with a few others, could be the positive change the chapter needed, especially in terms of numbers. And I'm now their Recruitment Advisor, and the chapter has had a record number of PNMs attend recruitment events this semester.

Leading up to my receiving a bid, I had talked to sisters from all three chapters for quite some time before I was a new member. I loved all of the girls that I talked to. But sisters from one chapter who were in a class with me just talked to me and would mention the sorority... one or two girls from another chapter (one of which was my RA) asked me to go to recruitment events... and one member from another chapter called me on the night of a recruitment event, asked me if I wanted to go, and offered to walk to my dorm to get me so that I didn't have to walk into the recruitment party by myself.

Which chapter do you think I joined?

In addition to loving the girls of this group, I realized they really wanted me to be part of their sisterhood.

And while this kind of thing obviously would only happen with informal recruitment, from what I can tell, during formal, girls really look way too deeply into the phrase, "I hope to see you tomorrow," and the like. They take one positive thing and think, "I don't even have to try with these other orgs." They think that their future is mapped out because they had one good conversation with one girl who really liked them. And while it's exciting, they shouldn't simply base their decisions upon something so minuscule in the scheme of competitive sorority recruitment.

As for how girls react after not receiving a bid to where they originally wanted to be... that depends on the person. Some people just walk away from the experience and figure that Greek life isn't for them. Some people resent the chapter that turned them away, and/or they resent all Greeks in general. Some people realize their mistakes and they try again.

The whole point of Greek life is to make friends (within all of the chapters), to serve your campus and community in a positive way, and to find where you belong... not where you think you should be based on a house, a reputation, or which colors you think are the prettiest.

[agzg]

I joined through "informal" (or COB) recruitment, and only went to AGD because I wasn't sure if greek life was for me and I didn't want to overwhelm myself with girls all over the place.

I really wish I had gone to all the houses. Don't get me wrong - I love my organization and everything about it, and joining was one of the best decisions in my life. But I'd also like to say that as I became more active in the panhellenic community, particularly by acting as a recruitment counselor as a junior and senior and sitting on the exec board of panhellenic - the women in every chapter on my campus were quality women with whom I'm sure I would have been comfortable had I joined any organization on campus.

I don't regret joining AGD, in fact I believe that given the opportunity to go through all the chapters I think I still would have joined AGD - but I also feel like I should have taken the chance to get to know the women in other chapters, and the PNMs for other chapters - it's always nice to have extra support besides your own new member class when you're going through the crazy busy process of a new member period.

I'm one of the lucky ones that can legitimately say that two of my best friends are my sisters from my own chapter, and two more are sisters from different chapters.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by PJS

These two posts (and the one by KSUViolet) hit close to what my original question was asking. Kind of in followup, if a girl "fails" at rush and drops out, what is her college experience like? If she has grown up being groomed to be greek, doesn't she feel absolutely lost in the college setting? For that matter, she has also forfeited alumni status/networks/activities for the rest of her life! (Again, this is a discussion about girls that have chosen to drop out with options left.) After reading this thread about the University of Texas:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=32105&page=4

it sounds like all UT houses are selective and few if any would have a "stigma" attached to them, although they all don't have cachet that some desire.

Certainly many--no most--collegians are not greek and have a great college experience with friend and parties and social networks etc. etc. I just wonder how successfully a girl, steeped in the expectation of being greek, transitions into a GDI college experience.

She most likely transfers to another school where Greek life isn't such a priority and does one of 2 things:

1) Pledges the sorority that was prestigious at her old school and spends the rest of her life trying to "pass." "I was a KKG at UT!" (She doesn't mention that it was UT - Tinier Campus.)

2) Gets involved in other things on campus and realizes Greek life really ISN'T the be all and end all.

I think it also has a lot to do with how her parents handle it - whether they support her or if they helimom her and make her feel like it's all her fault.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn

Excellent post as usual EE-BO. One of the things I have been contemplating recently is why there seems to be a disproportionate number of unhappy recruitment endings on Greekchat. .....I have come to the conclusion that many of the women coming here prior to recruitment probably lack the understanding of the Greek system that many others already have, so they may not be quite as prepared for a successful recruitment.

That is exactly bang on. On GC, we generally don't hear from girls who got into the "top houses" at UF, Ole Miss etc. That is because these girls are well prepared and they know what they are doing. They are not soliciting random advice from a bunch of strangers on Greek Chat. They've rushed, got the house they wanted and are now out enjoying themselves.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

That is exactly bang on. On GC, we generally don't hear from girls who got into the "top houses" at UF, Ole Miss etc. That is because these girls are well prepared and they know what they are doing. They are not soliciting random advice from a bunch of strangers on Greek Chat. They've rushed, got the house they wanted and are now out enjoying themselves.

Occasionally we hear from PNMs who get into "top chapters" at competitive schools, but they are usually just sharing their story, rather than soliciting advice.

[RedRover]

I know two women who dropped out of the recruitment process after preference but before bid day.

The first, I''ll call her Jane, said she enjoy the recruitment process and made a lot of friends along the way. However, when it came time to make a decision, she realized that while she met a lot of nice women during the rush process, she didnt want to live with most of them. She said it would be difficult to consider most of these women as friends let alone as sisters. She said she is still friends with the women she met during rush.

The second woman, I will call her Sally, also withdrew before bid day. She said that there houses that she did it off with, however, she wasn't invited back. As for the houses that she did receive invitations, she said that she didn't feel any connection, a feeling that continued through preference round. When it came time to submit her bid card, she decided not to continue.

Neither woman said they regretted their decision, although both said that they wished that their campus was not so dominated by Greek Life. Jane helped organize a special interest group in the dorms and found an interesting on campus job. Sally got accepted into a demanding honors program.

Jane and Sally said that maybe on different campuses under different circumstances they might have joined a sorority.

[adpiucf]

I can't speak for other campuses, but I think at my school that your sorority experience is what you make of it. I see no point in dropping out in the middle when you've had only the briefest impressions of the sororities. And I will agree-- every girl I've known that took that bid to her #2 or #3 choice never ended up regretting it-- even if they were upset at not getting their #1 at the time ... wheras the girls I know who dropped out still regret it years later-- and I'm talking about those who have graduated and have moved past the Greek scene of college.

And I really think that I would've been happy to be a member at any of the UCF chapters. I think 99% of your sorority experience comes down to your attitude. If you're determined to be miserable with your chapter, you're going to hate it.

[exlurker]

I agree with points made in posts in this thread, especially:

EE-BO: My point was that at a very competitive school there are a LOT of PNMs who come into rush having carefully researched and planned their recruitment- often years in advance if their mothers were Greek at competitive schools and know what it takes.

So when someone comes here ill-prepared at the last minute and is talking not only about wanting to rush at a competitive campus, but also about only being interested in a certain group of chapters (or perhaps even just one), they have no idea that the ship has sailed. Maybe they can get all those piles of recs etc. done in the 1-4 weeks prior to rush, but odds are they are still going to be far behind where they would have been with proper planning.
. . .

The end result is someone who came into the process without giving it proper respect by trusting it and preparing for it, had unrealistic or misguided expectations and then hates and resents it when they don't get what they want.

I hope my posts on this topic will . . . challenge future PNMs to get ready earlier and put a little faith in the process and in the chapters.


CutiePie2000: That is exactly bang on. On GC, we generally don't hear from girls who got into the "top houses" at UF, Ole Miss etc. That is because these girls are well prepared and they know what they are doing. They are not soliciting random advice from a bunch of strangers on Greek Chat. . . .

LadyLonghorn: Excellent post as usual EE-BO. One of the things I have been contemplating recently is why there seems to be a disproportionate number of unhappy recruitment endings on Greekchat. .....I have come to the conclusion that many of the women coming here prior to recruitment probably lack the understanding of the Greek system that many others already have, so they may not be quite as prepared for a successful recruitment.


So – maybe after the excitement about fall recruitment and fall colonizations has died down a bit, I would encourage GC “regulars” and “experts” to post new or updated information that’s pretty much targeted toward the young women who are “clueless,” “new to it all,” “first in family to consider Greek life.”

In the past I’ve posted a handful of notices about Area Alumnae Panhellenic information (and recommendation – getting) sessions, trying to emphasize that such things can help the “unprepared.”

But the few things I've posted aren't even the tip of the iceberg compared to what a lot of well-prepared young women -- and yes, their parents -- go into recruitment knowing. There's a lot more knowledge that probably could be shared with PNMs. Certainly other GCers can give much more positive and useful info that might help a lot of great young women get up to speed about what to expect, and what they need to do.

[legallyblond]

1) Pledges the sorority that was prestigious at her old school and spends the rest of her life trying to "pass." "I was a KKG at UT!" (She doesn't mention that it was UT - Tinier Campus.)

Yes - 33grl is right. Are we forgetting that at a major greek school, a pnm that beleives she is XYZ material and only XYZ material will often not only drop out of rush if the XYZ's drop her, but she'll transfer to another college with a less competative recruitment. I doubt this happens much at a major greek college where your entire life's social standing depends upon what sorority you join. But, in those locations where the GLO sets your social standing for life - who knows. Maybe it's worth it. (thankfully I went to a major greek college where I think I would have been happy in ANY of the sororities on campus. They were all really cute, stylish, fun, accomplished girls that grew into attractive, stylish, fun, successful women)

[Entchen]

After one round of rush, I was asked back to my top choice and my last choice, and I chose to suicide, because, if I didn't get into my top choice, the other was not a good enough consolation prize. However, if I had been asked back to some of my in-between choices, I would have gone back to those as well.

But, I go to a school where rush is held twice a year, so I could have tried again in the winter had I not gotten into my top choice in the fall. I know at some other schools, you get one chance and that's it.

[carnation]

TTT!

[irishpipes]

Since this thread was bumped, I'll add a story from last year. I wrote a rec for a local PNM who was transferring from SMU to Georgia. She is from a socially prominent and very wealthy family. Both parents are Greek. She had excellent grades and a stellar resume. The only ding was that she wasn't attractive. She was slightly overweight and just not a looker. She had all the best clothes and was stylish, but just wasn't a pretty girl. She went through formal recruitment at SMU, where her mother had been an XYZ. SMU is very competitive and recruits in January. Of course this PNM thought she would pledge her mother's top top tier sorority at SMU. She was cut by the top tier groups late in the game and dropped out. Going into sophomore year, she transferred to UGA and got a bid at her mother's sorority. Her father is an alumnus of UGA. Her Facebook status on bid day, "What could be better - pledging my mom's sorority at my Dad's alma mater"

[33girl]

I'm thinking that maybe for some of these kids (I'm including guys too) this is the first time they find out they're LIKE a certain population, but not really OF them. Despite they and their parents doing everything right on paper, it just doesn't go over. And I kind of have to think that in that case, they're getting a big gift before they find themselves stuck in a job or marriage they may have been able to "pass" into but that if they're honest with themselves, they really are miserable in.

(Yeesh, pardon the tone of this post. I've been reading Freaks and Geeks commentary for too long.)