Curious

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

Rebelgirl:
Have you tried contacting the International office of Beta Sigma Phi on your own rather than by going on the opinions of a few?

Or have you looked at P.E.O.?

[kddani]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Something to think about:

Working with collegians does involve serving as a mentor of sorts, but for the most part, advising a collegiate chapter involves you being the "responsible adult" figure and monitoring chapter's activities and such. It's also not always easy or full of "warm fuzzies." The collegians don't always love, agree with, or look up to you like a "big sister."

Absolutely. I'm standards advisor, so I have to play responsible adult and be the bad guy. When I'm called upon, it's never for something good!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by rebelgirl

I appreciate everyone's responses. As for Beta Sigma Phi, I'm glad that you enjoy your experience with them but I neither want to charter a chapter or feel as if they are something I would be interested in joining. Even the women I have met expressed that on the National level they were antiquated so they are out of the questions.

Also, I do volunteer A LOT. I also have joined the Junior League and will be starting my provisional year so maybe once that gets going I won't feel as if there is so much missing. Part of what I would like to do is work with girls on the college level. I would love to be an almost mentor or big sister without specifically focusing on my career field or some religious affiliation. I look back and wish I had had someone to better help me transition from being a teenager to being a young woman. It cost my parents a lot of many as I bounced around in college and me much time to finally gets things figured out. I only explain all this so you all could see where I'm coming from with my interest.

I'm definitely not trying to shop. Just wondering if someone had any advice. I'm sure it will all work out for the best.

Reading is fundamental - I never said I was a member of Beta, rather I was asking the members for clarification.

And yeah, like KSUViolet said, for a lot of collegians, the advisor is the buzzkill who ruins all the fun plans - not someone they want to be mentored by or think of lovingly. If you go into anything concerning young people with the "what they really need is ME" mindset, it frequently backfires.

You're in Junior League. Stick with that and see where it goes. I'm sure that they would appreciate you putting your all into your provisional year rather than trying to pursue AI at the same time.

[dreamseeker]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Or have you looked at P.E.O.?

i never heard of that org until you linked it, but it looks like a good thing to pursue instead of AI. lol.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by rebelgirl

I am yet another person with somewhat the same questions as TexasRose. I'll pose a stronger point in this thread. I know that it is something "special" yet I know in my heart that I want to give myself in time, philanthropy and heart to a sorority. My mother is a Beta Sigma Phi and I've met with a few chapters but they are so aniquated that it doesn't work for me. I have such a strong respect for NPC's that I know these are the only sororities that will fulfill what I am looking for in a group. I know I won't get the "college" experience but I want to be part of something great. I do have a degree and am curious if there is any way I might join a sorority even though I have long since graduated. What is there for some of us to do?

Originally Posted by rebelgirl

I appreciate everyone's responses. As for Beta Sigma Phi, I'm glad that you enjoy your experience with them but I neither want to charter a chapter or feel as if they are something I would be interested in joining. Even the women I have met expressed that on the National level they were antiquated so they are out of the questions.

Also, I do volunteer A LOT. I also have joined the Junior League and will be starting my provisional year so maybe once that gets going I won't feel as if there is so much missing. Part of what I would like to do is work with girls on the college level. I would love to be an almost mentor or big sister without specifically focusing on my career field or some religious affiliation. I look back and wish I had had someone to better help me transition from being a teenager to being a young woman. It cost my parents a lot of many as I bounced around in college and me much time to finally gets things figured out. I only explain all this so you all could see where I'm coming from with my interest.

I'm definitely not trying to shop. Just wondering if someone had any advice. I'm sure it will all work out for the best.

I'd wonder why you didn't join in college, and hearing a grown woman with a degree say "there is so much missing" and that a sorority would fulfill her, but only an NPC, I would really question what her intentions and issues were. If you want to mentor and work with college aged women get a job in higher education, as there are plenty of women in college who never have an opportunity to join a sorority and need help. You could work on campus in Student Activities & Government, be a director of a dormitory, teach and connect with female students, be a house director, or work on campus and be involved in women's groups and issues as an advisor and mentor. The sort of woman I would consider to initiate as an alumna is already giving and is satisfied with what she is doing, and gives of herself freely. She compliments the sorority with who she is, it is not a means for her to feel complete or whole.

The majority of sorority alumnae are not directly working with collegiate chapters due to geography, time, and personal lives. There are instances where women are initiated to assist with a chapter, but they've served as advisors, house directors, and so on, they've already given freely without the intention of joining. We have alumnae groups and chapters far from college campuses, and alumnae are involved with each other through life long bonds.

[rebelgirl]

I appreciate everyone's responses so much. I actually think that an adviser role might be what I am looking to do. I thought an adviser would have to be a member of the group so I never considered that. Of course it isn't something I would do at this moment. I do have a lot going on right now. I was just wondering and thought I would ask a few questions.

ThetaPrincess24, yes I have contacted BSP's national office. I even went to a few meetings with local women of different chapters. I've actually looked into them in two cities I've lived in and have found the same theme. I also have looked into PEO, Delta Theta Tau and my mother tried to get me to join Daughters of the American Revolution. I just haven't found the right group for me yet.

As for 33girl, I feel it's a little rude to say something like "reading is fundamental." It sounded as if you might be a member so I was trying to be polite. As for me saying that "what they really need is ME" well I didn't and that isn't what I was saying.

Also VandalSquirrel has only proven to me why I never bothered to ask these questions before. To say you "question what her intentions and issues were" is very insulting. I believe I even explained what my intentions were. As for getting a job in higher education, since you don't know my career field I'll just say that they don't mesh. Sorry you read so much into me trying to keep things short and simple. I suppose I should have gone into a long diatribe on how I have a lot of free time, would like to make a difference and have yet to find an outlet that has filled that need.

Most everyone has been very helpful and actually given me answers that I didn't realize I was looking for. My only other questions is, how would you go about becoming an adviser? Can you contact them? I have friends who are alumni of sororities so should I talk to them and have them contact a sorority? Again, I'm more just asking questions then going to run out and sign on.

[kddani]

Unless you're on staff of the particular college or university, I don't see what a nonmember could contribute as an adviser. You haven't been a member of a sorority and don't know or understand the dynamics, nor would you, as a nonmember, be allowed to participate in a number of events or be privy to a lot of confidential, private information that advisers must deal with.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by rebelgirl

Most everyone has been very helpful and actually given me answers that I didn't realize I was looking for. My only other questions is, how would you go about becoming an adviser? Can you contact them? I have friends who are alumni of sororities so should I talk to them and have them contact a sorority? Again, I'm more just asking questions then going to run out and sign on.

Not every sorority allows non-members to be advisors. I know mine currently does not.

Even if a sorority does allow non members to serve as advisors, I'd assume that a chapter has to have a need for an advisor and be unable to find an alumna in their area.

[BlueCarnation]

Originally Posted by rebelgirl

I appreciate everyone's responses so much. I actually think that an adviser role might be what I am looking to do. I thought an adviser would have to be a member of the group so I never considered that. Of course it isn't something I would do at this moment. I do have a lot going on right now. I was just wondering and thought I would ask a few questions.

You actually DO have to be a member of the sorority to be an advisor for a chapter. Each sorority has different traditions, policies, etc. that you learn when you are a collegiate member, and only someone who has gone through it can be an advisor. It really isn't fun a lot of times!

I don't know if you live close to a university, but again, I would think about tutoring or something like that. I was a tutor in our athletic department and it allowed me to get to know students. Being a "Big Sister" might be a great way for you to connect with people. You really seem to want to help and that is very admirable. Unfortunately, a sorority just may not be a practical way to do it. Please cultivate the non-Greek connections you do have and you could be pleasantly surprised by what comes of them.

[BlueCarnation]

Originally Posted by OTW

That's not always true. There have been instances where an ABC sorority member served as an advisor for XYZ sorority on her campus. If I'm not mistaken, Navane (a Gamma Phi Beta) was an advisor to another group on campus.

My mistake. I can't imagine someone not in our sorority advising us because our HQ is very strict about ritual, chapter meetings, etc. We have a sorority on campus here that does not have an advisor because they don't have any alumnae in the area; I asked if someone from another sorority could advise them, and they said that it had to be one of their alumnae. They could really use the help, but that's another story.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by kddani

Unless you're on staff of the particular college or university, I don't see what a nonmember could contribute as an adviser. You haven't been a member of a sorority and don't know or understand the dynamics, nor would you, as a nonmember, be allowed to participate in a number of events or be privy to a lot of confidential, private information that advisers must deal with.

I agree.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by rebelgirl

I appreciate everyone's responses so much. I actually think that an adviser role might be what I am looking to do. I thought an adviser would have to be a member of the group so I never considered that. Of course it isn't something I would do at this moment. I do have a lot going on right now. I was just wondering and thought I would ask a few questions.

ThetaPrincess24, yes I have contacted BSP's national office. I even went to a few meetings with local women of different chapters. I've actually looked into them in two cities I've lived in and have found the same theme. I also have looked into PEO, Delta Theta Tau and my mother tried to get me to join Daughters of the American Revolution. I just haven't found the right group for me yet.

As for 33girl, I feel it's a little rude to say something like "reading is fundamental." It sounded as if you might be a member so I was trying to be polite. As for me saying that "what they really need is ME" well I didn't and that isn't what I was saying.

Also VandalSquirrel has only proven to me why I never bothered to ask these questions before. To say you "question what her intentions and issues were" is very insulting. I believe I even explained what my intentions were. As for getting a job in higher education, since you don't know my career field I'll just say that they don't mesh. Sorry you read so much into me trying to keep things short and simple. I suppose I should have gone into a long diatribe on how I have a lot of free time, would like to make a difference and have yet to find an outlet that has filled that need.

Most everyone has been very helpful and actually given me answers that I didn't realize I was looking for. My only other questions is, how would you go about becoming an adviser? Can you contact them? I have friends who are alumni of sororities so should I talk to them and have them contact a sorority? Again, I'm more just asking questions then going to run out and sign on.

If having someone on the internet say this to you bothers you so much, how would you handle it in person? There are may members who joined in college who don't understand, like, or accept Alumnae Initiates, and you need thicker skin to deal with that from sisters, let alone someone on the internet. What if you find a group and the interest isn't mutual?

If some woman approached me and my sisters and wanted to be involved and join us, who didn't work at the University (and working in higher ed. IS a way to advise without being a member) or have anything to do with us previously, you'd bet we'd ask WHY and if you gave me that answer I'd wonder why joining an NPC sorority with no ties to one (as a legacy, relative of a member, a faculty or staff advisor) is what you need to not feel you're missing something.

Alumnae Initiation is rare, and even rarer is the Alumna Initiate who cold calls a group.

ETA: Asking your friends who are alumnae may make for some awkward situations if the group is not interested in extending membership. If you've mentioned it and they didn't engage you in discussing it further I wouldn't push the issue. I can only speak for myself, but if I thought a friend would be an asset to my sorority I'd discuss it with my sisters before I'd discuss it with her.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by BlueCarnation

My mistake. I can't imagine someone not in our sorority advising us because our HQ is very strict about ritual, chapter meetings, etc. We have a sorority on campus here that does not have an advisor because they don't have any alumnae in the area; I asked if someone from another sorority could advise them, and they said that it had to be one of their alumnae. They could really use the help, but that's another story.

My alma mater demands that the primary, main advisor be a faculty member. They don't care what your HQ says - if you don't have a faculty advisor, you're not a recognized organization. If you can't find a member, you make do with what you have. They can't go to ritual or things like that, but if it's the choice of having a little-involved advisor or not being on campus at all, it's a no-brainer.

But of course, none of that helps rebelgirl as she isn't on any university's staff. I'll say to you again: you are in your provisional year with Junior League. Give that your all - as that IS the most respectful thing to do - and quit thinking about a sorority.

[BlueCarnation]

Originally Posted by 33girl

My alma mater demands that the primary, main advisor be a faculty member. They don't care what your HQ says - if you don't have a faculty advisor, you're not a recognized organization. If you can't find a member, you make do with what you have. They can't go to ritual or things like that, but if it's the choice of having a little-involved advisor or not being on campus at all, it's a no-brainer.

Interesting...That would probably change a lot of things at both my current campus and my alma mater!

[navane]

Originally Posted by OTW

That's not always true. There have been instances where an ABC sorority member served as an advisor for XYZ sorority on her campus. If I'm not mistaken, Navane (a Gamma Phi Beta) was an advisor to another group on campus.

Yes, I do serve as an adviser to my sorority (Gamma Phi Beta) and also to a sorority which is not my own (Alpha Chi Omega).

BUT, my role with AChiO is as a Faculty-Staff Adviser. The reason I have that role is because I am employed by the university and a Faculty-Staff Adviser is required for university recognition.

That is different than me serving on a chapter advisory board for my own sorority. I can serve on Gamma Phi Beta's chapter advisory board because I am an initiated member.

(Emphasis given to help clarify and not specifically directed to you, OTW)

It sounds to me like Rebelgirl is not employed at a university; therefore, she would not be eligible to serve as Faculty-Staff Adviser. Similarly, as is being discussed, I would expect that most chapters do not allow non-initiated members to serve as chapter advisers.

.....Kelly