Having a hard time getting over one I got dropped from?

[jenidallas]

A personal caution on would-be's and could-be's - you can spend your entire life mulling them over and eating away at every decision.

I pledged my sororityand knew it was absolutely THE right sorority for me. It seemed to me to be the best choice on my campus and certainly the one and only choice for me. So much so that I ISPed. (And so much so that I ISPed and ignored my legacy chapter. The chapter, by the way, that my mom was the chapter advisor of. ) Yes, I was *that* PNM. Suzy freaking Snowflake dusted in glitter with a big bow on my head.

Then a few months into school, I started to hate the school. I realized I'd made a horrible mistake and picked a university where I would never finish. And then I started to second guess my choice of sororities and wish I'd waited to go through recruitment "where I belonged". I transferred to the school of my (second) choice) and for a few weeks, forgot all about those vows of sisterhood and lifetime loyalty I'd made. I was too much of a princess and felt like I should have had a choice in where I belonged and what I was/was not too good for. I started in my head playing the "if I'd come here last year and gone through rush, I'd be an XYZ, not a GPB" game in my head. I for a few weeks forgot about the "where I belong" thing and started to get in the "where I think I deserve to belong" game.

A bunch of stuff happened to me, comeuppances and all that stuff. The kind that makes the glitter fall off and the snowflake to melt into a big puddle of dirty water. And guess what? My sisters - the ones who were there who loved me just because I was one of them - picked me up, dusted me off, and made me into a better version of myself. In the 22 years since, I've never once forgotten it. Never mind that I'd gotten it in my head that I was somehow better than that. Never mind my arrogant childish behavior.

To think *I* was this ignorant 19 year old twit who almost turned my back on a sisterhood that FOUND ME. That found me and saved me from my stupid self. That lifted me up and supported me and turned me into the sister I was today. Thank GOD that brat did not get her way and I had a second chance to realize how much my sisterhood means to me.

So yeah... you may have a hard time getting over it. But buck up buttercup, GET OVER IT ANYWAY. To not may mean missing out on the chance of a lifetime. And you do NOT want to be sitting here playing the what if game years from now. In fact, you need to take that game and THROW IT IN THE TRASH. Adulthood is all about sometimes taking a leap of faith and being happy with the road you chose, consequences and all. And 99% of the time, those leaps of faith will have you on the exact path you are supposed to be on. And you WILL learn in time to get over the hurt, get over yourself, and keep on walking with your head high on the road you chose with the ones who chose you.

(And if you cannot do that... if you cannot accept that sometimes in life, there is a greater good and a greater path and that other people sometimes have a role in guiding us where we need to be, well... do yourself the favor and don't initiate. Greek life probably isn't for you if it's still all about your individuality and personal fulfillment at all costs....)

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by jenidallas

Yes, I was *that* PNM. Suzy freaking Snowflake dusted in glitter with a big bow on my head.

I'm sorry.. I couldn't help but laugh at this

[SWTXBelle]

Can I just say - love my sister jenidallas . . . love our sisterhood . . . and hope the op catches a clue.

[StellajessAOII]

(High-fives Jenidallas)

[cinder1965]

Originally Posted by jenidallas

A personal caution on would-be's and could-be's - you can spend your entire life mulling them over and eating away at every decision.

I pledged my sororityand knew it was absolutely THE right sorority for me. It seemed to me to be the best choice on my campus and certainly the one and only choice for me. So much so that I ISPed. (And so much so that I ISPed and ignored my legacy chapter. The chapter, by the way, that my mom was the chapter advisor of. ) Yes, I was *that* PNM. Suzy freaking Snowflake dusted in glitter with a big bow on my head.

Then a few months into school, I started to hate the school. I realized I'd made a horrible mistake and picked a university where I would never finish. And then I started to second guess my choice of sororities and wish I'd waited to go through recruitment "where I belonged". I transferred to the school of my (second) choice) and for a few weeks, forgot all about those vows of sisterhood and lifetime loyalty I'd made. I was too much of a princess and felt like I should have had a choice in where I belonged and what I was/was not too good for. I started in my head playing the "if I'd come here last year and gone through rush, I'd be an XYZ, not a GPB" game in my head. I for a few weeks forgot about the "where I belong" thing and started to get in the "where I think I deserve to belong" game.

A bunch of stuff happened to me, comeuppances and all that stuff. The kind that makes the glitter fall off and the snowflake to melt into a big puddle of dirty water. And guess what? My sisters - the ones who were there who loved me just because I was one of them - picked me up, dusted me off, and made me into a better version of myself. In the 22 years since, I've never once forgotten it. Never mind that I'd gotten it in my head that I was somehow better than that. Never mind my arrogant childish behavior.

To think *I* was this ignorant 19 year old twit who almost turned my back on a sisterhood that FOUND ME. That found me and saved me from my stupid self. That lifted me up and supported me and turned me into the sister I was today. Thank GOD that brat did not get her way and I had a second chance to realize how much my sisterhood means to me.

So yeah... you may have a hard time getting over it. But buck up buttercup, GET OVER IT ANYWAY. To not may mean missing out on the chance of a lifetime. And you do NOT want to be sitting here playing the what if game years from now. In fact, you need to take that game and THROW IT IN THE TRASH. Adulthood is all about sometimes taking a leap of faith and being happy with the road you chose, consequences and all. And 99% of the time, those leaps of faith will have you on the exact path you are supposed to be on. And you WILL learn in time to get over the hurt, get over yourself, and keep on walking with your head high on the road you chose with the ones who chose you.

(And if you cannot do that... if you cannot accept that sometimes in life, there is a greater good and a greater path and that other people sometimes have a role in guiding us where we need to be, well... do yourself the favor and don't initiate. Greek life probably isn't for you if it's still all about your individuality and personal fulfillment at all costs....)

Wonderful post....all of us "buttercups" need to buck up every once in a while....

[cinder1965]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I'm sorry.. I couldn't help but laugh at this

This made me chuckle pretty loud too!

[ngsu]

Originally Posted by thetalady

That particular horse left the barn a while ago... the OP has made it quite obvious which sorority this is, too. How hurtful, if any of her sisters read her comments.

First, I already said I've transferred so nobody knows what school I go to or the sororities it offered. Second, even if I went to the same school, nobody still knows what sorority it is. And, I've never talked badly about my sorority. I'm mostly saying I'm having a hard time with the what ifs and a few general things in my sorority that have nothing to do with the girls themselves. So a) nobody knows who I am, what school I go to, or what sorority I'm in and b) I've said multiple times how the sorority has great girls. All I'm saying is that I'm trying to get advice to move on from the what ifs and could haves from the sorority I fell in love with during recruitment.

I've gotten some great advice on here and I really want to thank you all! It helps a lot.

[azureblue]

You have to get over the other group...plain and simple. They didn't invite you back and you will never know the reason why.

You are looking at emotion, not logic. Emotionally, you are upset/hurt/wonder/going over every detail to find out why you weren't asked back. You are torturing yourself by going over and over the outcome. Logically, that other group isn't an option and you have to accept it and move forward. You have been invited to join a great group of women, and that is that.

Bottom line...it's over with the other group...the ship has sailed. You have to stop beating yourself up for something that can't be changed.

[ngsu]

You guys have been so great to me. Thank you for your advice! I'll stop thinking about what ifs and just appreciate the wonderful sisters I have instead and not worry about the minor things.

[azureblue]

Good for you, ngsu! I think that you will be a great asset to your chapter. Head up and move foward!

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by ngsu

You guys have been so great to me. Thank you for your advice! I'll stop thinking about what ifs and just appreciate the wonderful sisters I have instead and not worry about the minor things.

You will get over it quickly and be surprised how much you begin to love your glo. Good luck and enjoy your new member time!

[ASTalumna06]

You get out of what you put in. Immerse yourself in everything ABC sorority. You said the girls are great, so befriend them. If you stick it out with this chapter, I'm willing to bet you'll be back on this site one day saying how you couldn't imagine yourself being a part of any other sorority.

And remember that your membership is so much more than just the four years you're in college. Alumnae membership lasts a whole heck of a lot longer, and it makes you truly appreciate your sorority network when you move to a new place, look for a job, or try to make adult friends (which can be challenging!).

Enjoy every minute of it!

[jenidallas]

Originally Posted by ngsu

You guys have been so great to me. Thank you for your advice! I'll stop thinking about what ifs and just appreciate the wonderful sisters I have instead and not worry about the minor things.

Awwww.... Group hug!!!

[als463]

OP, you give away an awful lot of identifying information that you may want to go back and edit. Have some respect for your sisters as I am sure they would not appreciate you coming on an internet forum to talk about all the things you dislike about them. I, for one, would have a real issue if one of the new members of my organization felt the need to air her dirty laundry about how much she dislikes her sorority on an internet website. You may want to think twice, my dear.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I hate pink.