But I'm Perfect! (a Recruitment Story Parody)

[greekdee]

I don't know what the "THING" was, but I assume it didn't work. My guess is that the PNM was released, but knows exactly why -- she is just too awesome for any sorority. They all knew it. Even the tippy-top top tier house knew they could never be what she deserved. She decided to start her own sorority and called it Mu Mu Iota -- Me, Myself and I. It's not recognized by the school, of course, and she's the only member...which is why she's so busy with presidential duties even though she just pledged herself. Some girls really are a sorority all unto themselves and I think she's that rare and perfect PNM who qualifies. What a loss to all the houses. Anyway, just my two cents on why she hasn't been back to update us.

If I'm wrong, though, I hope she'll come back and give us the scoop about that THING.

[AGDee]

I think you are probably right on, greekdee.

[adpiucf]

Based on her signature, OP is an SDT alumna. I'm guessing she's busy with real life.

Why is this thread in the recruitment forum when it is clearly a parody? It should be moved to ChitChat.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by greekdee

I don't know what the "THING" was, but I assume it didn't work. My guess is that the PNM was released, but knows exactly why -- she is just too awesome for any sorority. They all knew it. Even the tippy-top top tier house knew they could never be what she deserved. She decided to start her own sorority and called it Mu Mu Iota -- Me, Myself and I. It's not recognized by the school, of course, and she's the only member...which is why she's so busy with presidential duties even though she just pledged herself. Some girls really are a sorority all unto themselves and I think she's that rare and perfect PNM who qualifies. What a loss to all the houses. Anyway, just my two cents on why she hasn't been back to update us.

If I'm wrong, though, I hope she'll come back and give us the scoop about that THING.

But didn't she say she was busy as president of her new sorority? It's obvious the story is finished ... not getting what she wanted, she formed her own sorority, named herself president, and is waiting for other women to join her. She can wait; they'll come 'round.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by greekdee

I don't know what the "THING" was, but I assume it didn't work. My guess is that the PNM was released, but knows exactly why -- she is just too awesome for any sorority. They all knew it. Even the tippy-top top tier house knew they could never be what she deserved. She decided to start her own sorority and called it Mu Mu Iota -- Me, Myself and I. It's not recognized by the school, of course, and she's the only member...which is why she's so busy with presidential duties even though she just pledged herself. Some girls really are a sorority all unto themselves and I think she's that rare and perfect PNM who qualifies. What a loss to all the houses. Anyway, just my two cents on why she hasn't been back to update us.

If I'm wrong, though, I hope she'll come back and give us the scoop about that THING.

You hit the nail on the head, GreekDee! Perfect ending!

[DubaiSis]

Here's an ending I prefer, but the writer would NEVER post:

She dropped out of rush and spent the next week being a huge bitch to everyone. But as her friends went about their lives in their mediocre sororities, she realized she was really missing out. She noticed the Fuglies around campus and found herself more and more saying to herself that they weren't so bad after all. She decided to suck it up and contact the rush chairman of the Fuglies. It turns out the Fuglies had had a fantastic rush, and while they were still doing come COB to get themselves up to total, no they were not interested in offering her a bid.

By the time the next semester has come along and she got good but not outstanding grades and joined some clubs but found herself NEVER getting elected into leadership positions, she became less full of herself, and a little more in tune with whether people liked her or not. She decided to informal rush and asked her mother's friends in as many sororities as she could find to please write a recommendation for her. She really wanted to join a sorority and she really appreciated their support.

Going into rush with a new attitude, it turned out she really liked the Awkwards, and there was a sorority she didn't even remember during fall rush, the Whos? They were a middle chapter on campus, but they were really sweet girl and they talked a lot about leadership and she thought she could really make a splash in this chapter if she worked at it. She knew they had made quota in the fall and were only short of total by a few, so she was really worried they wouldn't pledge her.

(Now, we have 2 ways to go, so here's ending #1)
During rush parties the Awkwards and the Whos had, she really laid it out on the line. She said she had really enjoyed herself during informal and she was really looking forward to joining a sisterhood. Unfortunately, the members asked around to their friends in other chapters, and decided that no way in hell were they going to give this beyotch a chance. She spent the rest of school bitter and surrounded only by the kind of mousy girls who think bitchy=strong=popular and a boyfriend who had no life except to please her, even when it meant being completely emasculated in public. 2 weeks before graduation he dumped her and started dating the president of the Fuglies, now the hottest sorority on campus.

(#2)During rush parties the Awkwards and the Whos had, she really laid it out on the line. She said she had really enjoyed herself during informal and she was really looking forward to joining a sisterhood. The sisters of both sororities knew how she had been during formal rush, but the Whos decided to take a chance on her. It seemed like she'd really come around and it was a risk, but they thought she could become a valuable member with some training. Over the rest of her college career she became a nice girl (I've actually seen this happen). She never made it to president, but she held a variety of leadership roles in the chapter. They were still a mid-level chapter, but she had to admit she couldn't imagine herself anywhere else. She had gotten to know some of the Awesomes over time, and seriously, who did they think they were?

~ Fin

[greekdee]

I like this DubaiSis! I would hope for ending number two, I really would. Sometimes people need a year of college to grow up and benefit from a reality check. I'm a big believer in second chances, and if someone can be honest about their issues, humble themselves and make positive changes, then they deserve another shot. I realize this is a parody thread, but you presented two realistic outcomes. And as for someone becoming nicer after joining a sorority, I've seen it too -- the hard have been softened, the cold have been warmed and the self-centered have looked past themselves. I would like to think that every PNM who screws up her first recruitment, but sees the mistakes and corrects them, would not be branded by the first attempt and later be given an opportunity.

I still want to know what that THING was, though.

[peppermint23]

Gack I'm so sorry guys! I've been so busy lately and forgot to come back and finish this

Working on it now...

[adpiucf]

Then there's that other THING ...

[peppermint23]

I decided to go all out. It was now or never, and there was no way in hell I was walking out of this without giving it my last shot.

I went to the Awkwards party and stared blankly at my rusher, trying to decide which form of acne treatment would work best for her skin. I got bumped about 7-8 times, which is probably good because everyone wanted to meet me!

After that I walked over to the Goddesses house and waited for their next party to start. A Pi Chi came up to me and asked me if I was lost.

I rolled my eyes. "Can you get me in?" I asked.

She frowned. "What do you mean? Which rush group are you in?"

Then the door opened and the gorgeous Goddesses starting chanting and screaming. When they were finished I bolted inside before anyone else could stop me. The Pi Chi was running after me, but I was too quick. I slammed the door and locked it behind me.

The Goddesses gaped at me, stunned.

"What the hell are you doing?" one of them shrieked, as the Pi Chi banged furiously on the door.

I took a deep breath. "Listen guys, I know you all wanted me, but the Greek life office made a horrible mistake. And I know it's probably been hard for a lot of you, because you really wanted me in your house. So I'm here to let you know that...my grandfather is very wealthy and if you let me in we'll pay you off and keep quiet."

The Pi Chi's bangs and yells got louder. One of the sisters moved to get the door but I blocked her path.

"Hey," she said. "Aren't you the girl who made that creepy Photoshop picture?"

"Please, you have to take me! You don't know how rich I am and what we could do for you!"" I begged, getting down my knees and crying. "I'll be forced to join the fat house and I'll end up obese and ugly and jobless!"

One of the sisters came up to me and patted my shoulder. "Sorry honey, you have to leave now. We decided to cut you for a reason -"

"BUT I'M PERFECT!" I screamed so loudly that the chandelier above us rattled.

"Someone call campus security," one of the girls whispered.

I was officially released from recruitment that day, personally escorted by security

Humiliated, I went home and spent some time in between re-subscribing to PerezHilton.com's prenium membership pondering where I had gone wrong. Maybe I wasn't right for Greek life. Maybe I had been too arrogant, thinking I was so right for the Goddesses when really I had to accept I just wasn't good enough. Maybe the Awkwards saw what the true loser in me and knew I'd fit in perfectly with them. Maybe they needed a super hot sister so they could mix with better frats.

Maybe...I should create my own sorority!

So after 4 months of hard work, planning and dedication, I have founded the first local chapter of Sigma Epsilon Chi Epsilon....better known as SEXE! (There's no Y in the Greek alphabet so I had to settle)

I'm currently President, VP, Event Coordinator and Housing chair. My reluctant but willing roommate is on Pedicure Committee (for $5 an hour) We meet every Wednesday night so she can do my nails and fill me in on the latest gossip in her circle of friends. I've been putting up posters all around campus (which have sadly been ripped down and defaced by my jealous peers) and am now in the process of making my very own website, complete with my modeling pictures and biography.

If you're interested in joining, send me a PM and I'll let you know my school's name!

I wanted to share my story to show that if you really want something, you should NEVER give up on your dreams! You CAN do it! You CAN be a sorority girl, no matter what anyone (and Panhellenic - they're trying to shut me down under some stupid legal clause) says!

Because when you know you're perfect, it's all worth it in the end

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by peppermint23

Maybe...I should create my own sorority!

So after 4 months of hard work, planning and dedication, I have founded the first local chapter of Sigma Epsilon Chi Epsilon....better known as SEXE! (There's no Y in the Greek alphabet so I had to settle)

I'm currently President, VP, Event Coordinator and Housing chair. My reluctant but willing roommate is on Pedicure Committee (for $5 an hour) We meet every Wednesday night so she can do my nails and fill me in on the latest gossip in her circle of friends. I've been putting up posters all around campus (which have sadly been ripped down and defaced by my jealous peers) and am now in the process of making my very own website, complete with my modeling pictures and biography.

If you're interested in joining, send me a PM and I'll let you know my school's name!

[greekdee]

I knew you had started your own sorority, and really, what else could you do? Congrats on the self-bid! It sounds like you have found the perfect fit and best place for YOU!!!

[gee_ess]

Love it and love you! You totally rock, but then, you knew that already didn't you? Congrats on your bid!!! Would love to see some Bid Day pics when you get the chance!

[txAOII_15]

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by peppermint23

So after 4 months of hard work, planning and dedication, I have founded the first local chapter of Sigma Epsilon Chi Epsilon....better known as SEXE! (There's no Y in the Greek alphabet so I had to settle)

Psi Upsilon would like a word with you.