Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

[SigKapSweetie]

Because unlike some people, I'm not willing to settle.

[MTSUGURL]

I got asked this by my aunt at my brother's wedding. My boyfriend had broken up with me just that Monday, I had been engaged to a man that treated me horrible prior to that, and my brother is 5 years younger than me. I told her, "Actually, my boyfriend just broke up with me, and that's a bit painful. Thanks for bringing up my singleness today, and now I'd just really like to go enjoy my brother's wedding."

Now, 6 years later, I very rarely get asked this question. I think a good bit of my family has given up on me. The last time someone asked, "When are you going to just get married already? You're 31!" I said, "I don't know. Why did you wear those shoes? They're hideous." Not exactly the height of wittiness or maturity, but they were horribly ugly and I wanted to be as rude as she was being.

I want to get married, I have a biological clock that is ticking; however, I refuse to settle for just anyone. I've been asked more than once, but each time I knew that if I married them it would end. Until someone asks me and I don't have that feeling, I will be single.

[RaggedyAnn]

I am married, but you can adapt my answer to getting married after the age of 30-
I just skipped the first round. (because the divorce rate is 50%)

[GeekyPenguin]

I've been dating my boyfriend since my senior year of college and I just finished law school and have been getting this a LOT - including a classmate grabbing my hand during the ceremony to look for a ring. I've just started telling people it's because he doesn't love me.

[33girl]

I think it depends, too, who it's coming from. I give older people and people who grew up in my hometown slack on this question, mainly because getting married and popping out kids is all they know. They're not trying to be mean, they're honestly worried that you're miserable because you're not attached because they would be if they weren't.

And even where that's concerned...give it time...I hear this a LOT less from my family ever since my baby cousin married a jerk, divorced him and married another jerk....not to mention the skank hos my other cousin tends to bring around the house.

If I heard this from one of my coworkers or college friends though...I think f.o. would probably be one of the nicer things I'd say. They know the person I am now, and they should know better.

[ASUADPi]

I honestly despise the question. I'm 29, not married, not even dating anyone right now. It has taken me a loooonnnnngggg time to be content in my life and be happy with what I have accomplished. I mean literally like 3 weeks ago I made the decision that I'm just not in the mood to date right now (mainly because I have a lot going on in my life right now and I really don't want to add a relationship to everything else). And you know what, I'm happy, stressed (due to work) but happy.

For the longest time my mom and dad would bother me about getting married and having kids (mostly my mom). She finally backed off when (I think) my dad had a conversation with her back in October. I was bummed because my younger cousin was getting married, my brother was engaged, etc... and my dad was like "I'm so proud of you, you've graduated college with your bachelors and masters, which your brother's haven't done and you've bought two houses". I started to realize then that I don't need a guy to make me happy.

Don't get me wrong, I want to get married and I want to have kids. But as my dad so kindly pointed out to me "you don't need to be married to have a child all you need is a sperm bank" (thanks dad). But the reality is, he's right. If the right guy comes along, great! But I've come to the point in my life that I'm not going to put any of my dreams on hold, I'm going to achieve them, whether I'm married or not.

Thankfully I've got a very supportive and liberal family, so we're all good

[adpiucf]

"Why would I want to be married?"

[LucyKKG]

[quote=MTSUGURL;1650688]"When are you going to just get married already? You're 31!" I said, "I don't know. Why did you wear those shoes? They're hideous." /quote]
HAHAHAHAH you're amazing!

[MTSUGURL]

I sponsor a beautiful little girl in Africa, Mariam. Today I got a letter from her, and the last thing she asked me was, "Will you marry? When?"

She frequently asks hard questions, but this one cracked me up because I immediately thought of this thread.

[kdonline]

Where did I read this response... was it here on GC at some point..?

A single woman was asked by an older aunt, "Why aren't you married?"
She replied, "Why aren't you dead?"

Haha.. I never had the guts to use that line..

But I was 33 when I got married. As those before me posted, I too had a blast during my 20s! And now, I'm an "older mom" - just had my 2nd child at 40 (had my first born at 37)!

To think that there are people my age who have 20 year old kids!!! Or even teenagers! Ack - no wonder so many people have mid-life crises...because they didn't live it up in their 20s!

[amanda6035]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

I wouldn't trade my 20s for *anything.*

Me either. I got married this past October, just shy of my 27th birthday. I had several friends who got married, and divorced, or are still unhappily married who got married before they were 25. In fact, I cant think of a single friend of mine who DID get married before 25, who is still married, happily.

My friend Melissa married her HS sweetheart at 21. They didnt make it a year. They didnt make it 6 months. He was a complete prick of a mama's boy anyway. (Told her she was a bad wife because she did things differently than his mom - they got into arguments about the proper way to fold towels.)

Jennifer also married at 21. She and Jon were friends of mine from the navy. She shipped out for a 6 month deployment 2 months after their wedding. By the time she had returned, he had been cheating on her, and so her reaction was turnabout was fair play. They tried to work things out for over a year, but he was dragging her on a string. They finally divorced last June, but SURPRISE, they are dating again now. Who knows what's up with them?

Sarah married at 22, 6 months after graduating college. She's still married, but she's not happy. Adam has dominated her life. In fact, for my bridal shower, my bridesmaids had all the women who wanted to, to write me a letter and seal it up and put on the envelope when the appropriate time was for me to open it. She and I had grown apart, didnt see each other as often as we used to. Her letter to me said "Open when you are lonely." I opened it about a month and a half ago, and it said something along the lines of "Call me, I miss you. Adam has dominated my life Adam has his friends and my friends are gone. Don't let your husband do the same to you that I've allowed Adam to do to me."

My husband was married once before. He married at 19. Within 3 months they weren't living together anymore, and for whatever reason, they didnt actually divorce until about 2 years later.

Luckily, none of these friends I mentioned above had kids....but I have some casual acquaintances from high school who didnt go to college, got married within 2 years of graduating high school, and have 2+ kids today. Do I envy them? Yeah right - not in the least. Thanks, I have a life of my own to live before I worry about feeding another mouth, thanks. I loved being able to go out with my friends whenever the heck I wanted. I loved being in school, and having spring break, and going on a cruise. I loved being able to drop whatever it was, and fly across the country to see an old navy friend's Chief Pinning ceremony, just because. There are too many things to hold you back once you settle down. Your 20s are not the time to do it. Yeah, I'm 27 and married now, which is earlier than some, or alot of people, but even if I wasn't I dont think it would have been the end of the world.

Live your life and have fun for you while you can. Screw what anybody else says or thinks.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by amanda6035

Her letter to me said "Open when you are lonely." I opened it about a month and a half ago, and it said something along the lines of "Call me, I miss you. Adam has dominated my life Adam has his friends and my friends are gone. Don't let your husband do the same to you that I've allowed Adam to do to me."

Wow. That is so unbelievably sad.

[amanda6035]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Wow. That is so unbelievably sad.

I know. The thing that was so bad is that I DID call her, and we went to dinner, and we stayed and chatted for a LONG time - we met at Fridays atabout 6:30, and about 9:15, we started to head home. Of course, Adam called her 3 times during the course of our evening wondering why it was taking her so long. He's such a prick. It used me be a group of 4 of us: Sarah, Cynthia, Melissa (the same Melissa from above) and I - we'd always hang out. But Sarah kept turning down our invites, so eventually, we quit calling her, which is why we grew apart. I got her new email address and have been emailing her lately, so I'm hoping we'll be able to hang out more and that she'll begin to come around....

[LaneSig]

My favorite reply:

"I think marriage is a wonderful institution; but, I'm not ready to be institutionalized."

Katharine Hepburn said: "Why aren't I married? Why trade the adulation of many men for the criticism of one?"

[christiangirl]

I don't get asked this question per se, but I get asked "So are you dating anyone yet?" quite a bit. Everytime I go into work actually. I work at a hospital and no matter WHAT ward I'm on, I'll run into at least one person who wants to set me up. I just say "I am seeing someone. See that bag full of textbooks? We've been together since August. Jealous type, doesn't like to share me with anybody." Oh, and the ever popular "You're still a virgin? Oh, we'll have to fix that" as though I'm broken. Once someone asked me that and I said "Your boyfriend is still married?"

She had it coming.