General Advice - Page 3

AlphaXi_Husky · #31 06-15-2008, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitecross1889

I actually would like that if we could find a way to break the ice with at least one chapter we don't normally hang out with. So I'll hit ya'll with another question - would the fact that she is dating me (an active in an established chapter) help or hinder her? I mean, should she mention our relationship when it comes to why she rushed? I gave her a bracelet with my letters on it a while back, would it be kosher for her to wear it during rush, or is it something that is better left out? To be honest I'm trying to help her understand this but I'm just as cluless. IFC rush tends to be much MUCH less involved.

While it's difficult to say as we don't know what school you go to, I would say it depends (of course). It depends on the members your girlfriend would be talking to during Recruitment and whether they had a good or bad experience with someone in your fraternity, or just your fraternity in general. IMO, I would not recommend she bring up your guys' relationship. Certainly I would not recommend lying, so if it comes up in natural conversation then so be it, but better to have sorority members judge your girlfriend on who she is, not that she is dating a guy in XYZ fraternity (whether it be good or bad).

I would definitely recommend, though, that she does not wear the bracelet. I think that would be perceived as a bit odd and kind of trying too hard.

KSUViolet06 · #32 06-15-2008, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitecross1889

I actually would like that if we could find a way to break the ice with at least one chapter we don't normally hang out with. So I'll hit ya'll with another question - would the fact that she is dating me (an active in an established chapter) help or hinder her? I mean, should she mention our relationship when it comes to why she rushed? I gave her a bracelet with my letters on it a while back, would it be kosher for her to wear it during rush, or is it something that is better left out? To be honest I'm trying to help her understand this but I'm just as cluless. IFC rush tends to be much MUCH less involved.

Something to think about:

Girls can assume (often incorrectly) that a girl who is dating someone in a certain fraternity only wants to be in a certain sorority (like the one that hangs out with them the most). Since they think she's only interested in one sorority, they will just go ahead and cut her since they think she's not interested. You wouldn't want groups to see her bracelet or listen to her talk about you and assume "Her bf is a Sigma Chi therefore she probably only wants ______ so we should just cut her now." I've seen that happen frequently.

SoCalGirl · #33 06-15-2008, 07:58 PM

I would discourage the bracelet. There's no guarantee how the chapter members will react. One sister could see it as a plus but another could see it as a negative.

Generally, chapter members are discouraged from bringing up boys during recruitment. However, it could come up naturally in conversation. It's not uncommon to ask if a PNM has family members or friends who are greek. Also, assuming your chapter hosts Derby Days, if that's brought up it would be an opening for her to mention your relationship.

I would only suggest she mention your relationship if she quickly deflects it from "I'm dating a fraternity guy" to "I've come to appreciate the friendships and opportunities that greek life has made possible." She needs to focus on what has drawn her to greek life other than you.

To be honest, when I was in school a couple PNMs came through who were dating fraternity guys. If I got the sense that they were rushing to get to spend more time with their bfs, or to keep an eye on them, I was hard core against them. Even when they were otherwise good potential members.

alphagamgirl06 · #34 06-16-2008, 12:55 AM

I think when it comes to girls dating fraternity men and making it known to sorority women before they rush can definitely hurt their chance during recruitment. I have seen these guys date the girl who are still in high school and bring them to formal and every social event that his fraternity has therefore she is already meeting girl and forming a opinion of the sororities on campus. Now her opinion really isn't the thing that hurts her chances but girls talk.
This past year we had a girl come through who was dating a fraternity guy and everyone had heard about this girl the year before. Since her bf's fraternity always hung out with ABC and she had already met many of them. All the other chapters on campus thought oh Jane Doe only wants to an ABC lets cut her. Well poor Jane Doe got cut from every chapter the first night because it turns out that even though ABC liked her bf's fraternity they weren't to fond of him because of past relationships he had with ABCs.

whitecross1889 · #35 06-16-2008, 01:16 PM

I'm so glad I found this forum and decided to ask you all about this. Because I was looking at it totally backwards! As far as I know, the sororites on campus know my girlfriend is rushing but don't know who she is. I think it would be best to keep it that way. She's only been to one formal so I have a good feeling she doesn't have any idea about house stereotypes. I'll just let her go through rush blind and I'll keep my mouth shut until Bid Day. It'll be more fun that way. Thanks again for all your sound and objective advice!

KSUViolet06 · #36 06-23-2008, 05:10 PM

Remember that at the end of the day, you're the only one who can make the decision of whether to go through recruitment or not.

Certainly there are situations in which you are probably less likely to get a bid, but don't ask us "whether you SHOULD rush" or not. That decision is up to you.

MellowYellow · #37 06-26-2008, 03:10 PM

I know online profile (like Facebook, ect.) were mentioned in the original post but I was just wondering if there were specific things that would be a red flag to sororities.

KSUViolet06 · #38 06-26-2008, 03:18 PM

There are quite a few threads here about Facebook profiles and recruitment, but this one is worth taking a look at as far as advice goes (no one here can really say what a sorority member at your school may find inappropriate):

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...light=facebook

My personal advice is to just avoid the whole issue altogether and just make your profile private or friends-only.

33girl · #39 06-26-2008, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnxbutterfly

I also wanted to add that an interest should be mindful when selecting her GC screen name. You may think it's harmless by picking hot4u or xyz2be or future_xyz. GC is a such a smal place. You never know who is on here.

This goes for ANY type of Greek org, and applies to guys AND girls.

Confidence is attractive. Presumption and arrogance are not.

#40 06-26-2008, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MellowYellow

I know online profile (like Facebook, ect.) were mentioned in the original post but I was just wondering if there were specific things that would be a red flag to sororities.

Like KSUViolet06 said, it's easier to just make it private or friends only.

What may not be considered a "red flag" to a sorority member may very well be for another.

#41 06-26-2008, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

This goes for ANY type of Greek org, and applies to guys AND girls.

Confidence is attractive. Presumption and arrogance are not.

Even if the GLO name is left out and there's a "future sister/brother" or "sister/brother2b"...it's still questionable.

I remember seeing one the other day and thinking, "Uh, okay. If she says so.

"

starlight9720 · #42 07-02-2008, 10:48 AM

I have a question. I filled out my application and sent it in and everything for fall 2008 recruitment, but that was before I found out that I should have written about high school achievements as well. Is there any way to fix that?

KSUViolet06 · #43 07-02-2008, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlight9720

I have a question. I filled out my application and sent it in and everything for fall 2008 recruitment, but that was before I found out that I should have written about high school achievements as well. Is there any way to fix that?

You'd need to contact your Panhellenic or Greek Life Offie to answer that one, since they're the ones you sent it in to. We can't tell you if they'll et you make changes to it.

#44 07-02-2008, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlight9720

I have a question. I filled out my application and sent it in and everything for fall 2008 recruitment, but that was before I found out that I should have written about high school achievements as well. Is there any way to fix that?

The application didn't have a section for high school achievements?

Ditto what KSUViolet06 said.

chapechi · #45 07-12-2008, 10:40 PM

Hi, we're looking to start a new sorority on our school. The reason we are starting a new one, is because the existing 3 sororities have seemed to loose their ideals over the years and now have become a "we do this just for parties and boys" kinda people. We want to bring the power back to the sororities on our campus, since fraternities are the only ones actually getting notice in a possitive way. We will be starting a service/social sorority, and we have already been aproved by the greek life council. We have almost everything ready, but we wish to do this the right way and be as traditional as possible. We already have a purpose, but we wonder if we need a mission and vision statement as well.

Thank you for your help in advance!

Chapechi.