Mystery Ghetto Theater 3000 - Page 3

9dstpm · #31 07-22-2002, 08:36 AM

Where do you guys get these movies from? I've only seen a handful of these movies (HP4, 3 Strikes, Cooley High, Phat Beach, which REALLY stank--and I saw it on USA and wanted a credit from the cable company) But some of the other movies I have NEVER heard of!

Rain Man · #32 07-22-2002, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bamboozled

Ugggggggggghhhhhhhhh, why couldn't you have posted this like 4 days ago? I had the horrible misfortune of watching this movie last week. When I saw that this topic was brought back to the top, I was on my way in to post about this travesty of a movie. The DVD I had was scratched towards the end, so I was put out of my misery before finding out who won the bet. But let me guess..... Ol' girl who was the waitress at the restaraunt miraculously took off those geeky glasses, let her down and became the belle of the ball? Please tell me I'm wrong and the ending gave the movie some redeeming qualities.

YOU ARE CORRECT, BAMBOOZLED! Me, being the movie connoseur (sp?) that I am, saw this ending coming from a mile away. Oh, and I might as well tell you that Brian Hooks won the bet, BUT only by default because the suave dude "cheated" (I will give you ONE guess as to who his date was).

Rain Man · #33 07-22-2002, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 9dstpm
Where do you guys get these movies from? I've only seen a handful of these movies (HP4, 3 Strikes, Cooley High, Phat Beach, which REALLY stank--and I saw it on USA and wanted a credit from the cable company) But some of the other movies I have NEVER heard of!

9dstpm,

I rent my movies at a video store that specializes in obtaining hard-to-get titles, along with the current major new releases and blockbuster hits (no pun intended).

The primary distributors of these flicks you have never heard of are:

Zenon Pictures
York Entertainment
Maverick Entertainment
Urban Soul Video

Hope this helps

Bamboozled · #34 07-22-2002, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 9dstpm
Where do you guys get these movies from? I've only seen a handful of these movies (HP4, 3 Strikes, Cooley High, Phat Beach, which REALLY stank--and I saw it on USA and wanted a credit from the cable company) But some of the other movies I have NEVER heard of!

I rent my movies online at www.netflix.com. They seem to have a lot of these low budget, unheard of movies. I usually tend to stick with big name, blockbuster movies, but every now and then, I get the urge to torture myself.

Quote:

Originally posted by Rain Man
BUT only by default because the suave dude "cheated" (I will give you ONE guess as to who his date was).

Hmmmmm, I have no idea, but with all the predictability of the movie, I'll go with his sister/cousin/some other female relative.

Rain Man · #35 07-22-2002, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bamboozled

Hmmmmm, I have no idea, but with all the predictability of the movie, I'll go with his sister/cousin/some other female relative.

His date was the stripper one of the dudes dated, ie THE CHICK WITH THE *BLANK*!!

thesweetestone · #36 07-23-2002, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
What about "Never 2 Big", also known as "Butter", which stars Shemar Moore, Nia Long, Mark Wahlberg, Salli Richardson, etc.? I thought that it was totally off the wall!

This movie is horrible!

Nia must have really needed some money. Otherwise, I don't understand why she did this movie.

Bamboozled · #37 07-23-2002, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rain Man
His date was the stripper one of the dudes dated, ie THE CHICK WITH THE *BLANK*!!

is all I can say to that!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
What about "Never 2 Big", also known as "Butter", which stars Shemar Moore, Nia Long, Mark Wahlberg, Salli Richardson, etc.? I thought that it was totally off the wall!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:

Originally posted by thesweetestone
This movie is horrible! Nia must have really needed some money. Otherwise, I don't understand why she did this movie.

I thank you two for the forewarning. Never 2 Big was one of the next movies on my list to be shipped out. I figured that if Nia was in it, it should be okay. I try to support black films, but this madness has got to stop!

Bamboozled · #38 07-23-2002, 12:41 PM

Has anyone seen this movie? I've taken Never 2 Big off my list and put this one next. If you've seen it and it's not worth my time, please let me know.

Love Come Down (2000)

Matthew and Neville are two half-brothers whose family was torn apart by tragedy over 10 years ago. Neville is a stand-up comedian who falls for Nico, a young club singer who is coping with the death of her adopted mother. Matthew is a professional boxer who is trapped by his feelings, and the color of his skin.

Cast:
Larenz Tate, Deborah Cox, Martin Cummins, Rainbow Francks, Peter Williams, Barbara Williams, Kenneth Welsh, Sarah Polley, Isaiah Washington, Clark Johnson

Rain Man · #39 07-30-2002, 04:59 PM

OK, some more titles to groan at:

"Hairdo U" (2002) Two homophobic construction workers get sentenced to enroll in beauty school after a gay-bashing incident. Interestingly enough, the person they beat up became their instructor. Of the two, one of them takes tips from the gay man on how to be sensitive in order for him to hook up with one of the students there. Filmed in St. Louis and features music from the St. Lunatics.

"Playin' For The Kitty" (2002). A cheap knockoff of "The Brothers", only it involves 6 brothers instead of four and they play football in their spare time instead of basketball. This film is notorious for BAD editing and lousy sound. Numerous scenes occur where the boom mikes are turned off so you can't hear anything (at least put captions on the screen so we can get a clue at what is being said). Oh, and what movie wouldn't be complete without the famous blooper outtakes at the end.

"The Job" (2002). A woman promoted to VP of marketing at her company neglects being on her J-O-B at home, prompting her attorney husband to cheat on her. He gets caught, drama occurs, he wins her back, everyone is happy. Oh, and we don't know if the woman quit her job or kept it or got demoted or anything, since there are no scenes in the movie at the office except for the one where the boss announces her promotion. Filmed in Birmingham, AL. Oh, and fellas, the fine sista on the ladder that you see on the video cover does NOT appear in the movie. What a disappointment. Darn bait-and-switch.

OK, holla back

RM

Rain Man · #40 07-30-2002, 05:03 PM

Just had to bring this back to the top for updating

AKA2D '91 · #41 07-30-2002, 08:58 PM

Has anyone seen Angela Bassett in "Ruby's Bucket of Blood"? I think it's from Showtime. I rented it last week and I didn't like the ending. (Not really sure if it fits in this category?)

I have 3 others that I have rented that do fit in the category. I do not know when I'll watch them, since they aren't due back until next week. Whenever I watch them I'll post the titles.

RedefinedDiva · #42 07-30-2002, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bamboozled
Has anyone seen this movie? I've taken Never 2 Big off my list and put this one next. If you've seen it and it's not worth my time, please let me know.

Love Come Down (2000)

Matthew and Neville are two half-brothers whose family was torn apart by tragedy over 10 years ago. Neville is a stand-up comedian who falls for Nico, a young club singer who is coping with the death of her adopted mother. Matthew is a professional boxer who is trapped by his feelings, and the color of his skin.

Cast:
Larenz Tate, Deborah Cox, Martin Cummins, Rainbow Francks, Peter Williams, Barbara Williams, Kenneth Welsh, Sarah Polley, Isaiah Washington, Clark Johnson

I rented it, but I fell asleep on it. It's not that it was boring, but it was, like, 2 a.m. when I tried to watch it and it was due back at noon. I was dead tired and dead wring for wasting my rental on a movie I didn't even get a chance to watch. I figured that since Larenz was in it, it would be good. But then again, remember "The Inkwell"?

Let me know if it's good.

AKA2D '91 · #43 08-04-2002, 05:51 PM

Re: Maverick, ya'll know that's Madonna's entertainment company? (uh-huh)

Anyway, I rented:

"Amour Infinity" (Maverick) and "The Other Brother" with Mekhi Pfifer

AKA_Monet · #44 08-04-2002, 06:31 PM

Isn't interesting that we all bash these movies now and about 10-20 years later they all become cult fictional classics... Like Blackula, Cleopatra Jones, Car Wash, Dolemite, Superfly... As if Pam Grier got hooked up in a skeriousss gig... Ol' Skool stylee...

Must reads for USC's Director's School...

Hmmmm... I always wondered how the WB, Paramount, Tri-Star, New Image, Touchstone started off... Do a whole bunch a crappy movies in the 'hood, bank roll off these negroes, then come out with a storyline that seems like "Alice in Wonderland on Crack" and get a dayum Oscar for that mess!!!

And they called that movie, "The Matrix"...

Apparently, producers of these African American focus group movies somehow got someone to bankroll that mess and put it on cinematic Kodak, Fuji-color film... And everyone knows that folks make more money off the DVD rentals than to prop it up in the Theaters--specially since the bootleggers will put that chit out on the streets befoe ya know it...

Ironically I rate my movies as how much I'm gonna pay for them... Like is this flick a matinee priced film or a Friday night date priced movie? 'Cuz I moved to a new city and am trying to meet new people, I hung out with some girls and I had to pay my $$$ to see the YaYa Sisterhood... I coulda waited til it came out on HBO--I wouldn't have cared if it was on Starz superpaks!!!

And for the movies y'all are describing, would I rather see it come out on TV during a Black History Month celebration??? Has anyone seen Sankofa?

If y'all EVER get a chance to see how it is done, volunteer at a movie set and all the work that goes into setting it up... Since I found it boring, I choose to pursue other avenues in my life. But I can say, the folks I know in the "business" tell me it ain't all the easy or glamorous...

Be patient with our brothas and sistahs settin' movies off, only so much does get greenlighted in Hollywood... And who really owns those studios? I can say, not us... That's one of the reasons why Tavis Smiley was fired... You think that chit ain't based on some reality in "Training Day" with Denzel--the 3 Wise Men characters? Instead of them being cops, they are the movie studio execs... Who are the top 3 studios in Hollywood??? Hmmmmm....

Rain Man · #45 08-10-2002, 02:45 PM

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the video store...

Brian Hooks comes out with another HOT MESS flick!!!

For those of you who seen Q: The Movie, brace yourself, 'cause here comes Q2: The Luau.

Same storyline as Q: Parents go out of town, Cedric (Hooks) throws another party, only this time it is to raise $2000 for Cedric to pay back Mo-Mo by 6 pm, or else she is "gonna smoke his @$$ like a Philly Blunt". Also if he does get Big Snake (Troy Winbush and his best female friend Shynay? (Maia Campbell) reunited by the end of the luau, Snake is gonna "[fornicate] him up". He is also being stalked by this one girl (Chiara Fudge) who IMHO played her role VERY well, being that this is her first flick. The outcome: who cares? Another lame flick that the script needs to be soaked in Pepto Bismol.

Yes, you saw a dude's butt smeared with goop that was supposed to resemble hemorroids, a lady cleaning her ear and toes with Q-tips that according to director Barry Bowles was real earwax and toejam, respectively, a girl who literally vomited before kissing a dude in the mouth, a bathroom laxative scene that rivaled Jeff Daniels scene in "Dumb and Dumber", and the kicker, Cedric pulling out a Ziploc bag filled with his feces because he wanted a burial ceremony after he accidently ate his goldfish Bernard (Neither Hooks nor Bowles confirmed or denied if that was actual dung in that bag, but with all the method acting the two of them confirmed throughout the flick, I really didn't want to know). Oh, and let's not forget the 3-foot long penis on one character, and the rape scene when a "woman" forced "her"self on the aforementioned character.

DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE!!!! If you buy it, please use it for skeetshooting practice, I beg you.

This movie is so bad (HOW BAD IS IT??!!), I wouldn't dignify it by riffing on it MST3K style. AVOID IT!!!