Interested Party saying hello!

[SWTXBelle]

My mother is an AI. She had belonged to a local sorority at SWTX.
She was very involved in my collegiate chapter, always helping out at rush (recruitment!) and throughout the year. She was very involved in our alumnae chapter, and she and I advised a collegiate chapter. After I dropped out after the birth of my first child, she continued to advise the chapter - which meant a 5 hour round trip every Monday night, and staying in the chapter dorm during rush.

[Priss_145]

Hello all,

as a transfer student, I am now an initiated member of the very same sorority that cut me at my old school. Just because one chapter of a certain organization didn't want you doesn't mean the entire organization across the country well reject you. I feel that each chapter is different although we do wear the same letters and have same rituals/philanthropies and whatnot. A women who may not have been a good fit for one chapter could be a great sister at another. Just like a former PNM should not hold a grudge against a certain sorority because one of their chapter cut you in the past, just because someone didn't get a bid from one chapter shouldn't make you a "no-go" forever. Ok, so let's say you rushed when you're in college and didn't get a bid from X chapter of XYZ. Maybe you wanted to be an member of that chapter, maybe not. Not getting a bid from a certain organization doesn't mean that PNM "wanted" to be a member. Maybe she got a bid from somewhere else -- exactly what happened to me at my old school. I got a bid from a sorority that I liked, didn't accept the bid for a personal reason. I transferred 2 yrs later and rushed again, got a bid from a different chapter and I pledged because I wanted to be in a sorority and the timing was right. My point is, I don't think women who are interested in AI membership should be penalized for not getting a bid from a sorority in the past. It's possible she was dropped by every sorority, but it is also likely that she got a bid from somewhere else or dropped out of the recruitment for various reasons.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB

As an alumna member I seriously question any woman who went to a college with a large/active Greek system and didn't end up joining then and then wants to AI.

Originally Posted by indygphib

Ditto.

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I don't think what is going on here... if there was a person who did not go Greek... whether they were at a SEC school, or a random college with a student population of 4000 students, and it's someone you knew personally that you thought would be beneficial to your org, you don't have to hold it against them.... if you really think they are that awesome and you want them involved, nominate them or something if your org does it that way.

No one is holding anything against people who never went greek.. the discussion here is people who rushed, got dropped by all houses, and are trying to find a back door in because of their "college dream" that was never fulfilled.

The top two posts seem to be less specific that what you've stated.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB

1) Right off the bat you are stating that the group approached the person. COMPLETELY different situation. I was referring to the woman approaching the group. And I said I would question them, hence I'm giving the benefit of the doubt to start.

2) I did question someone who wanted to AI with my alumnae chapter (she went to WA St Univ.) and I never heard from her again once I started asking questions so obviously, she didn't like my questions. Since her first email was very excited to find this opportunity.

3) The OP said she was dropped, in my mind that should be enough for all of us. I for one, trust my sisters.

No doubt there are some weirdos out there, and I think it's odd when individuals try to approach the group too, but they may not understand how it's supposed to work.

If a women went through every kind of recruitment and was dropped a bunch of times, I'd question her interest and qualifications.

But I also know that at many big Greek campuses good young women do slip through the cracks at some great chapters or drop out of recruitment.

I'm not sure that when you are whittling down the 1000+ PNMs to your pledge class of about 50, that every cut unnecessarily reflects any kind of absolute lifelong judgment about a women.

Even if a girl did get cut out of rush midway when she was 18, I'm not sure that means she wouldn't be a good AI later. But I agree that I'd ask some questions.

[AOII Angel]

I'm really puzzled by the extreme reaction to AI illicited on greekchat. If our organizations are meant to be useful to women through out their lives and not just for the college years, why are we so suspicious of women who wish to join later in life? Our goals are to provide women with the chance to be part of something greater than themselves...why is this only open to 18-21 year olds? If one chapter (who we all will admit often make decisions based on appearance or reputation rather than the qualities of a women that really count like leadership potential, level of commitment,etc) does not wish to give a woman a bid, why does this exclude her from joining another chapter of the same organization? Our organizations are larger than just one chapter or just one member. Women may identify with our missions, philanthropies or programming even if rejected by a chapter earlier in life. If we want to improve our alumnae participation, why exclude women who want to participate? Last time I checked, there wasn't an overwhelming rush of women trying to "sneak" in! I actually feel that alumnae initiates would be more likely to accept a lifetime commitment and follow through than the thousands of 18 year olds each year who make the same commitment but don't follow through.

[AlphaFrog]

READ THE REST OF THE AI FORUM.

[AOII Angel]

I have, Alpha Frog, and I still disagree.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I'm really puzzled by the extreme reaction to AI illicited on greekchat. If our organizations are meant to be useful to women through out their lives and not just for the college years, why are we so suspicious of women who wish to join later in life? Our goals are to provide women with the chance to be part of something greater than themselves...why is this only open to 18-21 year olds? If one chapter (who we all will admit often make decisions based on appearance or reputation rather than the qualities of a women that really count like leadership potential, level of commitment,etc) does not wish to give a woman a bid, why does this exclude her from joining another chapter of the same organization? Our organizations are larger than just one chapter or just one member. Women may identify with our missions, philanthropies or programming even if rejected by a chapter earlier in life. If we want to improve our alumnae participation, why exclude women who want to participate? Last time I checked, there wasn't an overwhelming rush of women trying to "sneak" in! I actually feel that alumnae initiates would be more likely to accept a lifetime commitment and follow through than the thousands of 18 year olds each year make the same commitment but don't follow through.

That's what a lot of GC posters used to think. Then we had a rash of women who obviously 1) were "shopping" for whatever sorority would take them as an AI and 2) were more concerned about what the sorority would do for them (as in fulfilling their college dreams) than what they could do for the sorority.

I know I don't agree with some of the membership decisions made by my sisters....however, they are my sisters. If I found out that a prospective AI went through rush at any school with a chapter of ASA and was dropped by the ASA chapter, forget her. Who in the world am I to think that my opinion should override that of 30-200 other women?

Lots of women join sororities for the wrong reasons. Some of them are 18, and some of them are 30. The problem is when they join at age 30, it's a lot harder to get rid of them.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Priss_145

Hello all,

as a transfer student, I am now an initiated member of the very same sorority that cut me at my old school. Just because one chapter of a certain organization didn't want you doesn't mean the entire organization across the country well reject you. I feel that each chapter is different although we do wear the same letters and have same rituals/philanthropies and whatnot. A women who may not have been a good fit for one chapter could be a great sister at another. Just like a former PNM should not hold a grudge against a certain sorority because one of their chapter cut you in the past, just because someone didn't get a bid from one chapter shouldn't make you a "no-go" forever. Ok, so let's say you rushed when you're in college and didn't get a bid from X chapter of XYZ. Maybe you wanted to be an member of that chapter, maybe not. Not getting a bid from a certain organization doesn't mean that PNM "wanted" to be a member. Maybe she got a bid from somewhere else -- exactly what happened to me at my old school. I got a bid from a sorority that I liked, didn't accept the bid for a personal reason. I transferred 2 yrs later and rushed again, got a bid from a different chapter and I pledged because I wanted to be in a sorority and the timing was right. My point is, I don't think women who are interested in AI membership should be penalized for not getting a bid from a sorority in the past. It's possible she was dropped by every sorority, but it is also likely that she got a bid from somewhere else or dropped out of the recruitment for various reasons.

The difference is - you went through rush and were voted on by an entire collegiate chapter. With AI, depending on the group a woman can conceivably only need the sponsorship of one person. It's not the same thing.

And as far as the OP - she DID NOT get a bid elsewhere, she DID NOT drop out of rush. She says that she was dropped on day 4 of a 7 day rush week. Maybe other groups offered her bids or kept her on through the week (she doesn't really say) but the fact is, the group she wants to be in told her NO. Anyone who uses phrases like "one way or the other" really isn't a good candidate for AI. It should be something to do because you want to give, not because you have something to prove.

[SWTXBelle]

Yes, there are many women who would be an asset to a sorority. That is why the AI programs exist. But none of the AI programs with which I am familiar have any provision for "rushing" AI prospects. They are predicated on the idea that active alumnae will know women who would benefit from membership and contribute, and those alumnae begin the process. It's the difference between being invited to a party, and crashing.

[jwright25]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

If our organizations are meant to be useful to women through out their lives and not just for the college years, why are we so suspicious of women who wish to join later in life? Our goals are to provide women with the chance to be part of something greater than themselves...why is this only open to 18-21 year olds?

The first line of the Panhellenic Creed:

"We, as Undergraduate Members of women's fraternities, stand for good scholarship, for guarding of good health, for maintenance of fine standards, and for serving, to the best of our ability, our college community."

As has been noted, there are a great many organizations open to non-student women who wish to be a part of something greater than themselves. NPC sororities are not open to the regular admittance of non-student women. Otherwise we would hold membership drives just like Junior League, etc.

One of the membership benefits that we tout when encouraging college women to sign up for recruitment is the lifelong aspect of sorority membership. Yes, we do provide opportunities for our members beyond graduation. But we do not provide them with recruitment tools or assistance for bringing in new members.

[nittanyalum]

^^^Wow, excellent post, jwright!!!

[bejazd]

That is a great point, jwright, and I never really thought of it that way, although all the AIs I have personally known did attend and graduate from schools where we have chapters, so I never really thought of them as non students. They've all been involved as HCB members or advisors etc, so they at least had some tie to the collegiate side of the sorority experience.

Personally, I probably would not sponsor someone to be an AI. But I also would not join the Junior League or the Assistance League or NCL, because their activities are pretty much the same experiences I've already had in GPhiB. Most of the women that I know that are involved in those groups do it because they have daughters they want to get involved in Sprites or debutante groups etc. and it just doesn't have that much appeal to me!

[SigmaNuAlum]

Forgive for my ignorance! I'm a Sigma Nu alumnus, have even worked for my national office, but am completely in the dark on the AI thing. I'm familiar with it only because of what I've read on here.

Question, I guess, is why would someone join a sorority after college? There seems to be no earning of membership. I'm not referring to hazing, or any "rites of passage", but I remember as a pledge I felt I earned my membership by learning history, brother info., participating in philanthropy, fundraisers, etc...

I think I would be pissed if someone wanted to join as a college graduate. Why not while undergrad? Would seem to be a lot of shadiness that comes along with someone not wanting to join while in school, but wanting to upon graduation!

[AlethiaSi]

Originally Posted by SigmaNuAlum

Forgive for my ignorance! I'm a Sigma Nu alumnus, have even worked for my national office, but am completely in the dark on the AI thing. I'm familiar with it only because of what I've read on here.

Question, I guess, is why would someone join a sorority after college? There seems to be no earning of membership. I'm not referring to hazing, or any "rites of passage", but I remember as a pledge I felt I earned my membership by learning history, brother info., participating in philanthropy, fundraisers, etc...

I think I would be pissed if someone wanted to join as a college graduate. Why not while undergrad? Would seem to be a lot of shadiness that comes along with someone not wanting to join while in school, but wanting to upon graduation!

Coming from a local... we obviously didn't have AI and I didn't even know what it was until reading about it here. However, we did initiate two members under honorary sister status. This is similar to AI and I didn't realize it until recently. One was a member of another local at another school that closed and was not going to reopen. Another was a graduate student, who at the time, was contributing significant amounts of time and effort to our organization. We thought we were doing the right thing, however as some of you know from another thread, the second AI (for lack of a better word) did not turn out so great. I suppose that is the risk that one takes.

I think that AI has a place within an organization that is open to it, and approaches certain members for whatever reason. It should be used sparingly and not as a way to allow members to have letters after the time that they should have.


[With our first AI member, she had already pledged another organization and was able to quickly assimilate into our "way of life" however, the second AI was not able to. She did not understand how things ran, or a simple code of sisterhood. She was in it for the popularity basically (and i'm not just saying this because I'm bitter, she's even admitted this to other sisters). I think the process of new membering enables members to understand... what sisterhood is all about ]