Is sex overrated?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by cincy

I am a virgin and very proud of it. It is so rare these days. I plan on waiting until I get married. There are a few reasons for this but the main one is because GOD SAID! Thats all I'm going to say about that.

So my question is, IS SEX OVERRATED?

Yup it's overrated if it's with the wrong person. I think that's great that you've decided to wait until marriage. The only advice I have for you is to stay away from the bad boys. These low down two timing whore mongers are only interested in seeing you use your panties as ankle warmers. You'll be able to tell if you've got a good joker, because when you hold out on the nookie, and he still stays with you, then he likes you for you. A joker that only wants the nookie will bounce if you don't give it up to him. Then again, he'll bounce after he gets it too. Make sure you get a man who follows Christ, and loves and respects himself. If he loves and respects himself, then he'll love and respect you. Lastly, be careful not to mistake intensity for intimacy. Intensity fades as the newness of the relationship wears off, but intimacy continues to grow in a positive way the longer you know a joker.

Good luck to you.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by MissBoggzz

I never told the guy who I was with at the time about my situation. I was scared that he would abandon me anyways. And after he left me for the reason of me "not putting out an longer" I'm a) glad I didn't tel him and b) glad he left me. As far as my friends I've been best friends with one person for 15 years I don't think her and I are going anyplace sepreate for a while and the guy I'm with now makes me feel completely safe and secure. I'm fully functioning and able to get through daily life it just makes it easier to know I'm not the only one out of my close group of friends and it's great to know that I'll have them to turn to. Even if it's just for now this for now can make my later a lot easier

Remember the quote function is your friend...

Well, I think everyone on GC is wondering how come you are telling us this critical incident in your life and we all are rather worried, because it is not often that someone just outright states he or she suffers from a violent sexual episode... GC is not suppose to be all that deep. There are better forums for that.

Moreover there are quite a few licensed professionals on GC, who you may need to identify, willing to get a clearer picture of what happened. I am not licensed. The comments I am reading, I am unable to intepret as making your like easier... The comments I am reading, seem to me rather disconcerting. Privately message me if you want to talk about that more.

[cincy]

Good one PRETTYBOY- If I am attracted to someone, once they find out Im waiting until I get married to have sex, they either aren't interested anymore or try me out to see if they can "get it". It's funny. Most of the time I can tell if they are truly interested but sometimes i cant tell. its sad.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by cincy

Good one PRETTYBOY- If I am attracted to someone, once they find out Im waiting until I get married to have sex, they either aren't interested anymore or try me out to see if they can "get it". It's funny. Most of the time I can tell if they are truly interested but sometimes i cant tell. its sad.

It's not hard to tell. First you've got to set some dating boundaries. When you have well developed boundaries, you're more drawn to healthy, growing men. Good dating boundaries run off the no good jokers, but they attract the good men who are into responsibility and long term monogamous relationships.

I understand that the 1st attraction to a potential partner is physical attraction. There's nothing wrong with that, because it's the 1st stage of a developing relationship. When we like what we see, we tend to want to see more of what we like. Everyone is different, but for me, physical attraction goes beyond sight, it encompasses all of the senses. I'm attracted to her voice, laughter, cleanliness ect ect. It all depends on what attracts you. You have to also look at character and spirituality. This is much more important than the physical, because it's based on inner qualities. In character attraction, that's what draws us into what's deeply rooted inside. The inner qualities will help you determine if he's into you or just the nookie.

Cincy, you have to ask yourself some questions. You have to ask yourself what are the character traits you believe to be the most important to you in a potential mate? Are these qualities different from what you look for in a friend?

What qualities do you have to offer a potential mate?

Those are just a couple that come to mind.

Another way to determine if a man is into you and not just the nookie is "Time". Dating requires that you spend time together to get to know a person. I'm talking about brief, frequent encounters over a prolonged period. Try to avoid concentrations of time, like spending entire days together, when you first meet a joker. I say this because you need time between encounters to process the information you gain about a person. Never hurry the process, because the more time you spend dating him, the better you're going to know him and the more likely you'll be able to make a rational decision about whether this man is the right one for you. This should be a time of evaluation. That's what dating is all about.

Respect is another key factor. I say this because respect and romance are tied together. A woman who feels that a man respects her, automatically feels that a man is being more romantic toward her. So make sure he respects you before he does anything else. Watch to see if he shows that he enjoys being around you too. If he enjoys your company he'll hang around for that. A man like this finds your companionship more important than the nookie.

When a dating relationship is in good order, each of you can expect several things to happen as an automatic consequence of your spending time together.

Lastly, make sure he serves you. What I mean by this is based on what you said. You said "God said". Well God said for a man to love his wife as Jesus loved the church and gave himself for it. To minister is to serve. A man is to serve his woman/wife, and that DOES NOT mean he's a doormat. Any man that tells you differently is a weak, jellyback man.

Always remember that having a faithful commitment to your significant other is like having a permanent seal affixed to each others lives. I hope you meet your prince charming, but whatever you do....STAY AWAY FROM THE BAD BOYS. I can't stress that enough.

[cincy]

everything you said is so true. im young os i have plenty of time to experience different things. The thing is I don't like to date really. If I find someone attractive, I will learn more about them. Unfortunately I have only had a couple of those who pass my tests. Only one since september07, im still feeling him out right now. So far so good but i wont get too happy yet.

[ShamikaT]

Originally Posted by cincy

I am a virgin and very proud of it. It is so rare these days. I plan on waiting until I get married. There are a few reasons for this but the main one is because GOD SAID! Thats all I'm going to say about that.

So my question is, IS SEX OVERRATED?

Girl, yeah. When you got dem toys you don't need a man. Dildos, vibrators, anal beads, fruits, vegetables, etc. will keep you occupied. Occupied with your time alone, and occupied in that va-jay-jay. You know what I mean? Vibrators are getting more sophisiticated each day, try the multi-speed, let the vibrations esculate while you masturbate. You know what I mean? Many people think that the bootyhole is exit-only like fire escape, but it's really like an elevator. Contents can go up or down, and in or out. Like that one dude said, it's not "Every man's home is his castle", it's "Every man's home is his asshole". If you go the bead or plug route, make sure you use EXTRA lube.

I think I remembered way too much from the last Sex Toy Party I attended.

[cincy]

I went to one of those a few weeks ago in my dorm. It was interesting. All I won was sone massage oil and flavored lube.

[Educatingblue]

Originally Posted by cincy

So my question is, IS SEX OVERRATED?

Not when you are married to the right person! Married sex is worth waiting for and you will be glad you did. I am not sure how old you are, but I think young people are better off focusing on their education, careers, family, friends, faith etc. rather than wasting too much time on relationships.

There is no better feeling than having sex as husband and wife for the first time, so keep the faith and find positive people who are willing to support you in this endeavor.

[rbm]

Not at all. It's like asking: "is joining a BGLO overrated?" For someone who thinks about it often, it is a big deal while for others it doesn't matter at all. Sex isn't as big a deal as some people make it-it is not the be-all, end-all of life and you don't have to do it-the same as so many other things. Sex is sex and it gets way too much attention. Good job waiting and don't let anyone convince you that it's odd because I know TONS of people who have never had sex nor do they desire to do so. Following ur own path is what will make u happy and come out on top in the end.

[Senusret I]

Sex, much like joining a BGLO, is more meaningful and enjoyable when it hurts.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by rbm

It's like asking: "is joining a BGLO overrated?"

Yikes.

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Sex, much like joining a BGLO, is more meaningful and enjoyable when it hurts.

Yikes. Ha.

[ladylike]

::LOL at the thought that sex is overrated if you're with the wrong person::

Your partner could be as wrong as two left shoes, doesn't mean that the relations can't be nice. Real nice.

[rbm]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Sex, much like joining a BGLO, is more meaningful and enjoyable when it hurts.

Oh Boy

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by rbm

Not at all. It's like asking: "is joining a BGLO overrated?" For someone who thinks about it often, it is a big deal while for others it doesn't matter at all. Sex isn't as big a deal as some poeple make it-it is not the be-all, end-all of life and you don't have to do it-the same as so many other things. Sex is sex and it gets way too much attention. Good job waiting and don't let anyone convince you that it's odd because I know TONS of people who have never had sex nor do they desire to do so. Following ur own path is what will make u happy and come out on top in the end.

Ummm... LOL Yeah, I guess you're saying sex is overrated...

[tld221]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Sex, much like joining a BGLO, is more meaningful and enjoyable when it hurts.

yowza! how did i miss that one?