bid day gone wrong..so sorry this is long but heres my story

[bevinpiphi]

Look forward to reading the thread from you next year, when you were totally screwed over by the whole Greek system because you didn't get another bid.

[AXOrushadvisor]

[QUOTE=LAblondeGPhi;2262435]YES!!

OP - the first thing you need to know about the recruitment process is that it is complicated and that 99% of ACTIVE members do not understand the inner workings of the RFM process.

Plus, with highly selective chapters, they will probably have whole pref parties full of women whom they ADORE. I don't doubt that actives in your dream chapter really did love you and lobby for you and assumed that you chose to go elsewhere when they didn't see you in their pledge class.

While the membership selection process is private and secret to each individual chapter, I feel confident in saying (from years of seeing the same things being said by actives of all chapters) that most active members never know the detailed order of bid lists of their own chapters - they simply DO NOT KNOW where you were on the bid lists. They only know that they really loved you and wanted you.

Last thing, which I've said in other forums before. The difference between carried to the next round and released, or pledged and not pledged, can be razor thin between PNMs. There is an arbitrary cut-off that is assigned by Panhellenic (not by the chapter), and that often means that there is no statistical difference between how much a chapter liked the last woman invited and the first woman released.

I'm sorry you're so upset by the whole process, but you need to put your big girl underwear on now and learn to deal with disappointment in a mature way. This is life, girl.
[QUOTE]

This is spot on information and written in a way any one can understand it. There are very few actives or alumna members who understand RFM.

[chi-o_cat]

Originally Posted by Blue Skies

In the future, do NOT put a chapter on your pref card if you have no intention of joining it.

But her roommate's best friend's lab partner told her that if she didn't list all 3 chapters that she preffed, the system would automatically kick her out!

[Jenitx]

Originally Posted by chi-o_cat

But her roommate's best friend's lab partner told her that if she didn't list all 3 chapters that she preffed, the system would automatically kick her out!

Unfortunately that is EXACTLY what my niece was told just this weekend during recruitment at UT. And so she listed a 3rd choice that she really did not have an interest in. And got that choice and walked away. I am so upset with her for not giving this precious chapter a chance and so upset with the process that doesn't make this clear to the PNM. It sucked for everyone.

[ASUADPi]

I wonder if the OP went/will be going through recruitment again this fall?

I say went/will be because UA finished recruitment already and ASU/NAU start pretty quick here. I think ASU started tonight or starts tomorrow night.

[TPA85]

Everyone says "maximize your options and you'll get a bid to one of the organizations you preffed " BUT here's a question:

If you were only invited to one pref and attended it, but that org puts you low on the list, then what?
Do you get a bid because you DID maximize your options? Does the order of the list trump that? Does the system recognized that you only had 1 pref invite and match it automatically, even if you're low?

[clemsongirl]

Originally Posted by TPA85

Everyone says "maximize your options and you'll get a bid to one of the organizations you preffed " BUT here's a question:

If you were only invited to one pref and attended it, but that org puts you low on the list, then what?
Do you get a bid because you DID maximize your options? Does the order of the list trump that? Does the system recognized that you only had 1 pref invite and match it automatically, even if you're low?

Yes, you will automatically get a bid from the one chapter you were invited to and listed. If you're too low on the list to match normally you'll be added as a quota addition. Obviously a PNM won't know where she falls on the list but the end result is she will get a bid.

[pinapple]

Originally Posted by Jenitx

Unfortunately that is EXACTLY what my niece was told just this weekend during recruitment at UT. And so she listed a 3rd choice that she really did not have an interest in. And got that choice and walked away. I am so upset with her for not giving this precious chapter a chance and so upset with the process that doesn't make this clear to the PNM. It sucked for everyone.

Had your niece not listed this 3rd choice chapter, she would have gotten a phone call that she had been released from recruitment. The process worked for her. She got a bid. I saw a few girls outside of HOGG on Monday who I was down right embarrassed for. Girls who had cards in their hands and walked away. They will never experience bid day even if they change their mind and take their bid (which by the way your niece can still do) Girls who were with THEIR MOTHERS and still walked away. I guess closed mindedness is a taught skill. Really really sad.

[utkdce]

Originally Posted by pinapple

Had your niece not listed this 3rd choice chapter, she would have gotten a phone call that she had been released from recruitment. The process worked for her. She got a bid. I saw a few girls outside of HOGG on Monday who I was down right embarrassed for. Girls who had cards in their hands and walked away. They will never experience bid day even if they change their mind and take their bid (which by the way your niece can still do) Girls who were with THEIR MOTHERS and still walked away. I guess closed mindedness is a taught skill. Really really sad.

It is so sad. Sometimes it is the mother that can't accept that their daughter did not get a sorority that the mother considers good enough. In the not so distant past, I witnessed a mother removing her daughter from bid day activities at UT, after the daughter was already wearing her bid day t-shirt. Can you imagine the pain that daughter felt? Disgusting behavior by a grown woman. Yet another example of the brutality of recruitment at Texas.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by utkdce

It is so sad. Sometimes it is the mother that can't accept that their daughter did not get a sorority that the mother considers good enough. In the not so distant past, I witnessed a mother removing her daughter from bid day activities at UT, after the daughter was already wearing her bid day t-shirt. Can you imagine the pain that daughter felt? Disgusting behavior by a grown woman. Yet another example of the brutality of recruitment at Texas.

[33girl]

That just makes me hope that the daughter ends up marrying an agnostic tattoo artist or Pauly D or something.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by utkdce

In the not so distant past, I witnessed a mother removing her daughter from bid day activities at UT, after the daughter was already wearing her bid day t-shirt.

Just

[ZTA1550]

Originally Posted by utkdce

It is so sad. Sometimes it is the mother that can't accept that their daughter did not get a sorority that the mother considers good enough. In the not so distant past, I witnessed a mother removing her daughter from bid day activities at UT, after the daughter was already wearing her bid day t-shirt. Can you imagine the pain that daughter felt? Disgusting behavior by a grown woman. Yet another example of the brutality of recruitment at Texas.

How incredibly rude!

[ASTalumna06]

Wow. Aside from that being rude, it is also incredibly demeaning. The last time my mother dragged me away from something was when I was 5.

[pinapple]

It was rough at HOGG this year. There were many mothers that were behaving like they were disgusted with the process. They forget it is not their process. I understand it is emotional but they have to understand it is not their journey. The best thing a mom can do in a situation like that is tell her daughter to give it a shot and make the best of it. Honestly, if the chapter was "that bad" then the mother should have advised the daughter to SIP. Yes, the daughter would have gotten the call but it would have been private and not a public circus of a few jeers among the cheers. Because honestly, they stick out like sore thumbs.